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 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 55
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The instant chemistry demandPage 2 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)


My experience has been...unfortunately....that most often, the prettier the man, the less one wants to be around him. I find this to be a conundrum....for I either have to settle for someone I'm not remotely physically attracted to.....or I have to accept that the physically attractive man is about as interesting and enjoyable to be around as a cow pattie.


In some cultures, cow patties have their uses ...lol



In the OP's case...it is more that if a woman meets him and cannot see herself having sex with him, he never will get past square one. Period.


Thats my point. If a you are basing a potential mate on weather you will have sex with him or her, you are setting yourself up for problems. That's not to say a person should be with someone they find repulsive. But, if someone's just average with an OK personality, there could be things about that person, that if you took the time to really get to know them, would make you go "Wow! This guy/girl is great!" They may have traits that you didn't even know you wanted. Traits that you would be hard pressed to find in anyone else.

Lateef
 CAPRICORN9
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 58
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:06:54 PM
HI, I TEND TO AGREE WITH YOU ON THE SUBJECT, I THINK IF YOU EVEN "LIKE" TO BE WITH THE PERSON, RIGHT OFF, THEN YOU SHOULD PERSUE IT, (EVERYONE IS IN SUCH A RUSH THESE DAYS... ) I JUST DID A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO, AND WAS VERY SURPRISED TO FIND THAT I REALLY AM ATTRACTED TO THIS MAN, HIS SMILE HIS ACTIONS, (HE IS AN OLD FASHIONED GENTLEMANLY GUY) AND CARES ABOUT MY FEELINGS AND LIKES/DISLIKES. ITS HARD TO PUT ON YOUR PROFILE, THAT YOU WANT LONG TERM, BECAUSE YOU JUST DONT KNOW IF IT WILL BE. ANYHOW I AM STICKING WITH THIS ONE, AND SEE WHERE IT GOES. FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 15 YRS I AM THINKING OF PERMANENCE!!! (I WAS WIDOWED THEN AFTER 5 YRS I MARRIED A CON MAN) WATCH OUT FOR THOSE SWEET TALKIN S.O.B'S GIRLS AND GUYS TOO... MINE CHANGED ''' AFTER WE WERE MARRIED, AND WE WENT OUT FOR A YEAR AND A HALF, SO GIVE IT TIME..... GOOD LUCK DALLAS FLIER!
 blueiiz2008
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 59
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:09:50 PM
If you are basing your relationship on chemistry than you need to understand that everyones chemistry changes over time. It is the deeper things that matter if you want a long lasting relationship. Character, honesty, care, qualities that you find appealing, etc. Those are the things that make for sustaining deep relationships. I agree there needs to be a spark on the physical side of things, but IMO if its all chemistry it will only be a matter of time before that chemistry changes.
 blueiiz2008
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 61
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:30:17 PM
If you are basing anything to be go or no go based on 5 mintues of it there or 5 mintues of it not, you are a pretty shallow person.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 67
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:58:34 AM
This chemistry stuff has always confused me, so much so that I usually only lurk threads like this one, lol
Wowzer chemistry has usually, with I think just two exceptions, been a blind alley for me. So even when it HAS been there I 've counseled myself to kinda hold on and see where things go in the fullness of time.

The majority of my relationships were slower builds; as I get to know someone they become increasingly more. More everything.
Attraction, interest in getting to know them and having long conversations... that seems to be my ticket.
 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 68
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:21:39 AM


You could turn it around on its head OP, and say that (some) of the people on POF HAVE learned through experience not to let anyone 'persuade' them into liking them, and that's why we're still single rather than stuck in a miserable relationship. We left the miserable relationships behind and have decided this time we're going to hold out for a good one.

I mean no disrespect when I say this, but you're not understanding what the OP is talking about. Learning to love someone isn't about them "persuading" you to like or love them. It's about you taking the time to get to know them and discover special things about him or her that you would have otherwise missed because there was no "chemistry" at the start. No one is saying just because you take your time to get to know someone that you should throw caution to the wind. It's doing the exact opposite. When you're not "blinded" by chemistry, you're more able to see those huge red flags that you would normally ignore because you get all tingly inside from that initial "spark."

Usually, people who get stuck in miserable relationships do so because they make bad choices and ignore things they should have been paying attention to from the start.

Lateef
 heartseekertrue
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 70
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:48:39 AM

I think instant chemistry has very little to do sustaining a longterm relationship


point being..it doesnt SUSTAIN it...its the impetus, the immediate spark...
its what motivates you to further, rationally, over time, and different ways, to assess if she truly IS the CHOSEN one.

i do believe this is what starts ALL of it...women just seem less likely to analyze it (left vs right brain deal) and admit more freely their understanding of that "feeling" (it DOESNT mean she's gonna jump in the arms of each guy who elicits this response, just her subconscious filter has permitted it).
. We men have to put it in the right "box" and catalogue, analyze, explain it. But the spark...is the same.
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 71
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:51:06 AM
OP, you ask

So, what says the POF community? Are you looking for that "first 5 minute fireworks" and is it a total showstopper if its not there that quickly?

I think you are speaking in extremes...for me anyway. Fireworks and 'total showstopper' immediate feeling is excessive in terms for me.

What I know about myself is all my relationships were always formed from an almost instant connection in person - just something in my awareness that this person would become close to me....probably something intuitive going on and not even explainable in words or even clear thoughts or feelings other than this sense that I was going to get to know this person....or not.

I do not agree that chemistry and lust are the same thing. I believe chemistry can include lust, but I do not get instant lust with people - I get instead an almost instant energetic sense, as I said....like an energetic exchange....probably picking up on pheremones in each other and ya just can't control those! (smile)

And if it's not there, no matter how much I would wish to get to know someone on a more intimate and deeper level, it's not gonna happen 'cuz I don't think you can create it. Perhaps it's another aspect of seeing natural compatibility, or not, with another - if you tend to slowly develop a connection over time, or you can sense it could develop, or not, practically from the beginning.
 izsprkl4u
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 72
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:56:49 AM
I have to agree with WeAre1 ... There's a spark when you look into someone's eyes, they really are the windows to the soul. It could be the "lust", "physical attraction" ... but it really is a jumping off point.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 73
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:30:29 AM
The BIGGEST problem with Chemistry IMO is that so few seem to realize that Chemistry is NOT whatever they think it is or want it to be. And so few seemingly have actually had it with another. It's similar to love - IF you have been in love, you do not need to ask anyone about it. Chemistry IS about Chemicals [pheromones specifically] and is our bodies UNCONSCIOUS way of finding a "mate" with the best genetic match. [to HOPEFULLY have offspring, with the best possible chance to survive] Real Chemistry has nothing at all to do with compatibility or similar moral, monetary, values or any other... or looks... Chemistry with another is WHAT would "compel" you at a party or any other type function to simply want to "hang with" ONE person when you know absolutely NOTHING at all about ANY of them and you find ALL of them attractive. Chemistry is simply ONE filtering mechanism. [But it IS powerful and is simply Evolution's way of giving the human race the BEST chance of survival.]

Of course when you DO actually meet someone, say from Fish and you DO know lots of stuff about them BEFORE meeting them?!?! You meet them and find them to be VERYgood looking [for your taste] or even better than their pics. Instant PHYSICAL attraction will certainly pour fuel on the fire especially if the pheromones passing between the two of you [even before you perhaps shake hands] has already told you, this person is a GOOD match [genitically] for you. This is Helen Fisher's thinking/theory btw, not mine and makes sense to me. Throw in the fact that she has been studying Love/human behavior for the last 30 years, there is little reason to doubt her IMO. Google her for some fascinating stuff.

Actually, and I really hate to say this, Chemisrty is OVERRATED but I myself need it on that very first meet [to some degree] simply because I HAVE had it before. I have been "lucky" enough in ALL the dating sights I have been on to meet nothing but attractive women, most all with many of the qualities I was looking for. Only had Chemistry [mutual] with 2 out of about 2 dozen and I always "knew" right away. One WAS love at first sight [after "alot" of prior tele conversation] and resulted in a six year marriage and the other resulted in a two year relationship that ended because of drug "abuse" and exreme disrespect [to HER] from her children which I simply won't/cannot tolerate.

In essence, having Chemistry IMO with someone upon locking eyes the first time is simply AWESOME but it is NO guarantee that the relationship will last. Nothing is ... but willing to grow together and willing to accept your partner's [perceived] flaws and willing to compromise and work things out, will. Not an easy thing to always do but I hope to be able to make my next relationship my best ever and my LAST!
 flyingiguana
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 75
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:13:33 AM
chemistry can develop over time
 realzenartist
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 79
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:31:59 AM
heres some research.... The Physics and Chemistry of Love
Love, like all things bound to the universe, is non existent without some amount of physics and chemistry attached to it. As a scientist cynically pointed out, cupid's arrows would never have been effective if they had not been first dipped in one unromantically named chemical- phenylethylamine.
Nor would the human body's reaction have given us dramas like Romeo and Juliet, if oxytocin did not have its way. Together these two form the chemistry of love. The common symptoms of love, including sweaty palms, shaky knees and general restlessness, are caused by a natural chemical, Phenylethylamine (commonly dubbed the `love molecule'). Its release from the brain can be triggered from deceptively simple actions like the meeting of the eyes or touching of the hands. Heady emotions, racing pulses and heavy breathing results, and all these are (unfortunately) clinically explained as an overdose of this chemical. A very interesting thing is that chocolate is known to have very high level of this chemical…perhaps that's the reason why it is considered a perfect gift for valentine. Or for your sweetheart.

The latest discovery is the arrangement of molecules in this chemicals and the whole world is excited because now, like the witches of the yore, we can actually concoct love potions. In other words, mankind could be on its way to isolating the chemical compound and making drugs that can induce these reactions in us, in other words….you take the drug, and you fall in love with the next person you see. Imagine the chaos that the world will face. But the scientists say that as of now, this discovery will be used to find out how it can help in some other chemical reactions, to cure disease or other, more useful pursuits and research (though everyone agrees what can be more useful than making someone fall with in love you!!!!)

At this point of time, research on the phenylethylamine molecule breakthrough could be extremely helpful in testing of chemicals related to mental illness. Parkinson's disease could be one.

So what are we left with? Explanations, but nothing is still in our hands. What we know about love is still largely out of our control. For instance, infatuation. This is supposedly the first stage of falling in love, an unbearable attraction towards someone. This attraction causes a virtual explosion of nuerochemicals very similar to adrenalin. Assisted by Phenylethylamine (that speeds up the flow of information between cells), dopamine (that makes us glow and feel good), and norepinephrine (that stimulates the production of adrenalin), make our world go round, our eyes sparkle and our heart beat faster. Our entire existence then depends on the sight of the person who triggered these reactions to begin with, and as the addiction to the chemical grows stronger, our attraction becomes greater. At this stage we commit foolish mistakes which are the stuff puppy love stories are made of. Actually it is these three chemicals that combine to give us what we call infatuation. We feel we are energized, often floating on air…and the reason why people who are just falling in love can talk for hours on end… (the same person becomes boring at a later stage).

We can blame our chemicals for everything. We had a list of attributes ready for matching, but we just end up falling in love with the person who possesses none of them…it is , as they say, chemistry. Social obligations, other relationships, sense and sensibility, all take a back seat; our mind soars with these natural drugs. No wonder, a lover and a madman are said to be alike. Scientists also opine that this `clicking' would be with a person with whom we can identify a parent-child situation. A person who, in our subconscious, will give us back something we feel we lost during our growing up years. For some it is security, for some others, it is warmth, and then others, just a spirit of adventure. This could be the reason why demure, well brought up girls usually fall for wastrels. This subconscious selection of mate gets our phenylethylamines and other chemicals moving. This period when our brain is awash with the love hormones lasts for different durations in different people, between six months to three years. In most of us, it settles down after that. For mercurial people, this high is missed and that's the reason why they need another temporary high….another relationship, another chemical fix. If these love junkies stay married, they will need new relationships to keep their dope, and sometimes, bigger highs. hence bigger risks.

In this world of chemical signals, humans are not scientifically considered monogamous; we do not fall under the 3% of the species that are monogamous. The species that stick to one mate usually have a rich flow of another chemical called vasopressin, the monogamy chemical. Experiments done with males injected with this chemical brought out all the evidence needed. Isolating males before and after mating showed that before mating, he was indifferent to all females. But 24 hours after mating, he is hooked for life. The jealous husband syndrome sets in too.

Another interesting chemical is oxytoxin, the `cuddling 'chemical. It promotes the need to be physically held, have close contact with he mate and makes both the sexes more caring. It can be released simply by a lover's look, smell or even a fantasy.

So much for the chemistry of infatuation. When infatuation subsides, another chemical takes over, which is responsible for intimate relationships. These chemicals are created by endorphins. They make a relationship steadier, intimate, dependable, warm and a great sharing experience. They do not induce a giddy high, but calmness and stability…hence are the reason why people stay married. The longer they are married, the longer two people stay together, because this chemical is addictive. It is endorphins that trigger grief on a spouse's death or long separation, those yearnings for togetherness. The two types of attachments can be summed up as follows…adrenaline love is being in love with the idea of being in love. While endorphins, we like loving someone.

So much for the magic of love and the realms written on it. It did come out of a bottle after all….and continues to afflict us….generations after generation.
By Kanika Goswami
 heartseekertrue
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 80
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:47:39 AM

Another interesting chemical is oxytocin, the `cuddling 'chemical. It promotes the need to be physically held, have close contact with he mate and makes both the sexes more caring. It can be released simply by a lover's look, smell or even a fantasy.


Oxytocin is also released during orgasm, breast feeding, and childbirth.
All interesting times ....and somewhat apropos to increase bonding...

The endorphins, enkaphelins, and other "pleasure" hormones (probably hundreds unknown) are also released during other activities..notably sports, opiod abuse, eating...all "pleasurable" activities a person willingly chooses and participates in...
just the anticipation of those activities...begin the cascade-release of these and other neurotransmitters.

Kissing itself...between "compatible" people, has been shown to share little-studied chemical agents with many effects. Mereley recalling the smell..of a deceased spouse...floods the brain with some of these incredible substances.

I do however posit, from a sociological perspective, society-building is served by monogamy. Sheer population growth aside, little benefit exists from indiscriminate male "pollinating" behaviors. Man (gender, not race) is intended to not only donate the initial DNA, but also provide for biological needs a long gestation and maturation period precluded women from fulfilling, nurturing the mother AND CHILDREN, and model appropriate societal mores and ethic to his progeny.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 81
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:58:23 AM
You can solve the whole problem by moving about 30 miles to the west and improving your dating pool.

I think dating is one of the things that keeps God amused because let's face it, the body is a horrible piece of equipment because you are so often physically attracted to the mentally imbalanced and truly stupid.

On the other hand you encounter a really great person but despite how much you truly like and respect them, there is no chemistry after several dates.

I do think you can tell at a first meeting whether there is potential but I suspect many people do not approach it this way, wanting the butterflies. You know they are nice and earth-shattering sex is nice but you can have the latter without huge amounts of the former when you have sex with someone that you are not only deeply in love with but like and respect as well.

What you describe is frustrating but these people probably have the attention span of a gnat and are best not being invited into your life to begin with.



You could turn it around on its head OP, and say that (some) of the people on POF HAVE learned through experience not to let anyone 'persuade' them into liking them, and that's why we're still single rather than stuck in a miserable relationship. We left the miserable relationships behind and have decided this time we're going to hold out for a good one.


Usually when someone has to persuade you it is because the instant attraction was there and started to wear off when the monkeys started falling from the trees. You are sooo attracted that you say to listen to the circus act that is their life, searching for a grain of normalcy and if you are lucky, wake up one day to realize that you misplaced your brain somewhere.


So, what says the POF community? Are you looking for that "first 5 minute fireworks" and is it a total showstopper if its not there that quickly?


Actually he was speaking euphamistically because some people do, as a poster above you, figure it is not worth a second date if the conversation doesn't flow smoothly. On a first meeting, what conversation doesn't have a few silences, even if a couple are awkward? In many cases, down the road, that memory is really quite charming because as you know more about each other you open up and things do flow smoothly and any silences are just comfortable shared space. The OP is talking about if you go to a meet or a date and things aren't horrible but you aren't bowled over either, do you give it a try or two more before concluding that there is not enough chemistry for a relationship?
 heartseekertrue
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 83
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:44:25 AM

adventerous date,


Adrenaline rush during 1st date..has been shown to increase significantly the possibility of a second....interesting study.

Wanna go hang gliding ?
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 87
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:08:29 PM

If you are basing anything to be go or no go based on 5 mintues of it there or 5 mintues of it not, you are a pretty shallow person.
So if a person just knows after 5 minutes that the one sitting across from them is not "The One" ... they are shallow? WTF?

What's the difference of knowing after 2 minutes that someone is simply not a match or knowing within 5 minutes that you are feeling "chemistry"?

It's okay to know that someone is not your type and simply dismiss them, but it's not okay to sense there is chemistry and pursue them?

Aren't they both "gut feelings" that you're going on?

Sorry ... that just makes no sense to me.

Some of us really do have something like a 6th sense and it can be quite sensitive.

I think those of you who have never experienced such a thing are finding it quite easy to dismiss those of us who HAVE experienced it as just outright WHACKO, but I assure you there is something to it and it is nothing at all like the "lust" some of you are suggesting.

I fell in love with a man (as he did with me) over 40 years ago in high school. It happened at the very first moment our eyes met. We both still love each other quite unconditionally. Back then, I would say it might have ended in quite a lustful way, but the opportunity never gave that to us and now that both of us are quite single, it has never been a "lust" situation.

It was a "gut feeling" and it has not changed since that day all those many years ago. Some of us truly have experienced that ... it doesn't happen often. I think many of us are lucky to have it happen even once in a life time as it's apparent that there are some who simply can't imagine or believe it happens, but I can assure you it does.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 88
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:12:25 PM
I hate to say this, but to me, and with most of the women I've gone out with, chemistry happened or did not happened instantly. Yeap. And no, it was not about the physical, but the mix of everything. In fact, there was this one woman, that we clicked quite well, actually became good friends, but we did not have that chemistry to be lovers. But as friends got along great. Then all the girls that I ended up having relationships with, they told me, they knew they liked me the moment they walked into the room and we glanced at each other.
 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 90
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:42:49 PM
I think the proof is in the pudding. Most of the people who are basing their relationships on "chemistry" are citing multiple relationships as proof that it works ...lol Hello, you are, by your own words, showing how "chemistry" doesn't work in the long term.

Having two, three, or more short term relationships where you "clicked instantly" is proof that it doesn't work. If it did, you'd still be with that person and would not be on POF.

If someone tells me it's raining but I don't believe them, all they have to do is point out all the drops of water falling as far as the eye can see for me to change my mind.

Lateef
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 91
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:45:10 PM

Having two, three, or more short term relationships where you "clicked instantly" is proof that it doesn't work. If it did, you'd still be with that person and would not be on POF.


I still believe that it works. What doomed the relationships afterwards were other things. Ultimately, the relationship that lasted, was one that started also with instant chemistry.
 heartseekertrue
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 92
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:06:45 PM
That...projective ideation, though uncorroborated, unsubstantiated...is probably the shiniest bauble in online dating.

Methinks most folks are MISSING the fact, that when you give someone a day, week, month...10 dates whatever..to "let the feelings grow",
the CHOICE to entertain a further relationship sufficient time to develop...
is itself based on an immediate decision. I posit ....the initial decision...is based on an sub/unconscious cues we are not cognizant of at all. Call it what you might...

Tis another matter entirely to fall head over heels in puppy love, throw your immolated self over the altar of LOVE...and hardly know your prospects middle name...
rational beings assess MORE than the immediate "spark", "chemistry", "interest"..semantics aside....but the spark...that burned down Atlanta....was struck. DO you fan the flicker prematurely, hoping? Or ignominously stamp it before the conflagrationconsumes you? The conscious mind....decides...THAT decision...more properly..takes somewhat longer....and THAT ensure some longitudinal success. Or not...love offers few guarantees other than it may end...as mysteriously.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 93
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:59:33 PM
I don't believe in wasting a man's time or money, I know within 5 seconds if the spark is there.
 Stubug1976
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 94
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:23:47 PM
No one knows in the span of 5 seconds if there is chemistry there or not. You can know in 5 seconds if there is physical attraction or not, so I suppose that could be considered chemistry in a vague way.

However, it does take time to get to know someone. People don't just open up automatically. In fact, when you first meet someone you are on your "best" behavior and hence are hiding certain parts about you, your personality or other things that may not be so "attractive" and would otherwise doom the date or the other's outlook upon you. Do i believe that you should have a strong physical attraction? Heck yeah, but who really wants to be with someone with whom they have perfect chemistry with? What a boring relationship that would be.....
 heartseekertrue
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 96
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:47:31 PM

"the spark" is nothing but animalistic lust based on physical appearance, pure and simple.

...rather a gross simplification. Many times, the person that elicits that 'spark" mnay not even present with those "lust" characteristics typically sought...
this is but a SMALL component of what the subconscious mind assesses in actual micro-milliseconds.
Geez, we only have about a 100 billion neurons. Think our conscious minds use them all?
In that first sighting...and touch, sound, smell...untold simultaneous processing beyond comprehension fire away...and then send the signal. SCHWANG! BUT, who in their right mind is going to hitch up without doing some rational cognition? Very few is my guess...usually hormone addled less mature brains i suppose.

I am pretty certain..even before you get past "HELLO ...", you have already made the decision to get to know her better.
BUT...that "instantaneous connections" presence, or determination its not present, has already apprised the rest of your CNS.....and probably some extremities lol..autonomics, general interest, increased acuity of vision, sharpened audio input, even gustatory and olfactory perceptions. Not to mention increased heart rate, respiratory rate and rhythym, posture, body language, vocal tonality, (remember puberty? or that squeak when SHE glances at you?) increased epidermal vascular flow, thermo regulatory shift, ...moist lips, dry hands, axillary hydrosis, ...the list is long. But, every cell in your body...is targeted on HER. Trust me, your body and brain do not conduct this symphony for every woman that comes close enough to you...whether its across the room, or within personal space. Nor for every woman you date and schmooze. Now, do people settle? Oblivious despite or inspite of these biological factors? You bet,...but why?
But when it does trigger within you , and you spend sufficient time to make that conscious cognition....after determining she is not a psychotic ax murderer who eats her babies...you my friend, are HERS. Love, resplendent, uncontrollable,... nothing will stop you...(even the TRO hahaha)if everything is functioning. Single-mindedly, almost with insanity, you will pursue her....
and, if capable, and worthy, she will be your conquest, IF she lets you!

If however, this one turns out to NOT be the one....you WILL see her..again..and again.
In different women..naturally. There is not just ONE that has the matched key to your "biology" trigger.
More properly, given the MHC/HLA and accessory vomeronasal receptors being stimulated by pheromones. Much study has been done on this....and its quite fascinating.
Some of us are hyperomic, with sensitive olfaction. Women, during ovulation not only emit more of these phase-change aromatic compounds, but also begin to exhibit markedly more sensitive smell.
And your dance begins again...

....takes some of the romance out of it doesnt it?
but then again, so does grinding through unending dates with mates that DONT trigger this.

Me...i prefer to "smell the roses"....and such sweet beauties they are...but beware the thorns!
 heartseekertrue
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 99
The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:07:57 PM
Again, given modern hygiene mores, artificial scents, cultural and dialect, even physical racial differences (please no one flame me...its not my intent to pass any judgments on anyone), as well as our "tamed" lives...not to mention inculcated judeo-christian mores with attendant shame/guilt complex...often we are not consciously aware of the switch, and may actually deny it consciously, trying to be "good", careful, whatever descriptive you apply.

Axillary and pubic hirsutism or depilation, presence of ancillary apical aweat glands in some races, genetic and traumatic factors negatively impacting some of the sensory input and ensuing processing...as well untold other confounding factors, make some people nearly "immune" to the effects.

I provide no data; simple redux of what the data indicated. The scent business..is huge..
and the human desire for attractiveness drives all of it....for data, search for the studies. This is straight out of A&P textbooks.
 flyingiguana
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 101
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The instant chemistry demand
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:22:14 PM
a 5 second spark is purely physical, how can it be anything else. even 5 minutes, your mind will fill in the blanks to either reinforce how you view the person, either positive or negative.

sparks are great for those quick shags
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