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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before      Home login  
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 richard233
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 35
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf beforePage 6 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

I've thought about this quite a bit in my life, and I think its a combination of a few important factors.

Part of it is what we're taught is "attractive" through the media. The media in this country is extremely white-centric. The history taught here is extremely european based. Everything is biased towards white people, and typically asians are much more in line with white people here than say latinos or african americans.

I'm not here to preach about if this is right or wrong, because I really don't care that much. The issue here is its TRUE. Asians as a group in this country are in the highest income bracket. This is not due to us being naturally smarter (which I like to say in front of my white friends who are actually smarter than I am), it is because of the huge emphasis of education and work ethic instilled by our families/backgrounds. Other minority groups have tougher times economically in this country because of educational reasons, something that is overcome by the asian community. (by the way, nothing I've said has anything to do with what I think about each group, its just what the numbers show) What am I getting at with all these statistics and crap? Asians tend to be "around" white people much more so than other racial groups, even more so than other asians simply because there aren't many of us. So, this is step 1 - you typically "like" the type of people you are around the most. For most asians, this is white people.

Step 2 - Asian males have a problem in popular culture. Some of this is due to our mannerisms, some of it is due to pressure from other groups, some of it is due to media. Asian males are NEVER protrayed as sexual creatures. White men, black men, latino men have all been portrayed as very sexual beings in media. When is the last time you've seen a good looking Asian male in an undewear picture? Doesn't happen. When do you see them as the guy who gets the girl in the movies? Never ever never. Not in the west, anyway.

Step 3 - Social pressures. You will usually see asians hanging out with a bunch of white people, or with a bunch of asians. This is due to 2 reasons. For white people, see step 1 above. For asians, its because they feel they need to hang around other asians. Both are a bit wacky in my opinion, but whatever. The first group is the one which we will concentrate on. I've grown up with a bunch of white people. They say the same thing EVERY SINGLE TIME an Asian girl walks by "Yo man, thats all you" and I say laugh and tell them they are idiots. I can't tell you how many times this has happened. The thing is, when I was in my early 20s, I had a backlash against it. I would do everything I could do to avoid talking to that asian girl no matter what I thought about her because I didn't want to sit there and be scrutinized about what I was doing, or how the situation was going. I feel this was a personal issue. Over time, I got past that feeling, because I sure as hell liked asian girls, why would I deny myself talking to them?

So, I know this sounds long-winded, but it is what I've observed and what I know from personal experince. Personally, I've never had a problem with women. I'm built pretty well, and I've been told I'm very good looking. I've met plenty of women in my life, have no problems meeting more if I wanted to. That being said, I don't have many problems. I have noticed, however, that other asian guys don't have very much confidence, and can be painfully shy. I've tried to encourage them to be more outgoing or friendly or just funny, but its almost not instilled in them. I'm very outgoing and confident, so I think that helps just as much as someone just being attractive (but, being attractive is a huge help in itself).

These observations are based on very broad generalities. Each specific person is obviously different. When I was younger, I really liked white women. Like I said, I purposefully avoided asian girls. As I got older, I realized I was being stupid and realized asian women were very much more attractive to me (Latinas also. God I love them) When I walk into a bar or club, I immediately look for black hair. If I don't see it, I just concentrate on the drinks. :)

-Wil


1) I agree completely. Culture is the primary influence. Hard work gets results.

2) I don't really pay attention to underwear ads. I'm pretty sure that I've seen
Asian guys on the packs I buy, along with guys who happen to black and happen
to be white. I have seen them get the girl in the movies, though I do admit its
less frequently than other groups. Just about every Jackie Chan movie has him
getting a girl, if not necessarily "the" girl. Of course, if you go and watch his movies
from the Hong Kong days, he is the star and of course he got the girl.
I have not seen either of the Harold and Kumar films, but neither of them is white,
and I'm guessing they both got a girl or two in the films.

3) I'm glad you got over your issues. It's hard enough to find a good woman without
eliminating someone for frankly silly reasons.
 clubkid66
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 36
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:47:39 PM
You date who you want because if you are going to be with someone it should be by choice.
 Paradise3921
Joined: 11/30/2004
Msg: 37
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/8/2008 1:20:15 PM
White guys who answer these posts always leave this out of their argument about how it's ok for everybody including Asian guys to accept these relationships when these are the same people who would denounce relationships between Asian males and white females. This is obvious by the way the white media in this country pair up Asian females with White males 90-99% of the time when the majority of Asian relationships are between Asian females and Asian males. The media doesn't do this to women of any other race hence you don't see those women have a thing for white males in the same proportion as Asian females.

The problem with the distortion of Asian interracial relationships is that the media gives a thumbs up to Asian female interracial relationships-showing this mostly with white males, sometimes with black males and almost never with Hispanic males and you get the mirroring effect of social dynamics for Asians in this country. One has to ask why the media continues to portray Asian females with nonAsian males the majority of the time when Asian female Asian males male up the majority of Asian relationships in this country. The media doesn't do this with women of any other race.
 richard233
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 38
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:48:36 PM

White guys who answer these posts always leave this out of their argument about how it's ok for everybody including Asian guys to accept these relationships when these are the same people who would denounce relationships between Asian males and white females.


As a guy who happens to be "white" I can tell you straight out I really don't care
who is dating who based on race. It's meaningless to me. Now if the girl is a friend
and the guy is an a-hole, well, then I have a reason to care.

Read my earlier posts. You want to date a lady who happens to be white, and she
wants to date you. Knock yourself out. You want my blessing? You've got it.
Though why in the world you would give a dang what anyone else thinks beats me.

The closest I come to caring is if someone else is dating someone I want to date.
Jealousy/envy is normal, but not productive. It's not like I'm going to have Jennifer
Aniston leave whoever she is dating at the moment for me.

I really don't know why the media puts together the couples they do, other than they
think it will put butts in seats. It's why Will Smith was paired with Eva Mendez in
Hitch. If you happen to not like the pairing going on the screen, change the chanel,
vote with your feet. Media will do whatever it can to maximize profits, like the
politicos will do anything for a vote.
 blueangel1023
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 39
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:00:40 PM

Some of you guys really sound like this guy...

http://www.holytaco.com/2008/06/27/the-douchiest-phone-message-in-history/


Haha, that was the most funniest thing I've heard all day...

I don't think there's anything wrong with an Asian girl dating a Caucasian guy much less any other race (aside from Asian men) To each their own. A lot have been living in a more westernized society and are white washed. I'm basically 3rd generation here and some of the asian girls I knew at school were only 1st gen and possibly 2nd gen. They never got along with me since there would be an English barrier. If I said it's raining cats and dogs, they'd look up at the sky and think I'm going crazy. Sure, they might think a Caucasian guy is attractive, but in a way it'll be a taboo if they brought them home to their parents. If they make money, what's some Benjamins between the color of your skin? (I keed) Most of my cousins married white guys and even a guy cousin of mine married a nice Italian women (who recently had twins) and are happily married. I think if two people get along physically and mentally I don't see the problem.

For me, it's hard to find an Asian guy who likes my carefree attitude and sense of humor. Not only that, but I'm 5'8...I'd say 90% of the Asian guys are about my height if not shorter. That certainly puts a damper on things. I usually feel the guy who brought up this issue is a guy who can't get an asian girl, or an angry asian guy who think the white man is stealing their women. Haha, joking of course. Don't get mad at the twinkie! >_<
 Frisky Monkey
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 40
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:47:09 AM
The type of Asian girl who goes for Caucasian men tend to be Plump, have a ridiculous tan, somewhat dumpy looking with an overly loud voice, annoying opinionated and "proud" of her heritage in an obnoxious whitewashed expert way but doesn't really live it. And if she's isn't dumpy, she'll probably get a boob job and a ridiculous fake tan (ahem Tila Tequila).

The type of girls that most Asian guys want to date anyway are quieter, not necessarily submissive but know when to bring up an issue, size 6 at biggest (typically size 2), and being Asian is who they are, not just some novelty which they flaunt for the sake of exoticness.
 blueangel1023
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 41
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/13/2008 9:52:43 PM

The type of Asian girl who goes for Caucasian men tend to be Plump, have a ridiculous tan, somewhat dumpy looking with an overly loud voice, annoying opinionated and "proud" of her heritage in an obnoxious whitewashed expert way but doesn't really live it. And if she's isn't dumpy, she'll probably get a boob job and a ridiculous fake tan (ahem Tila Tequila).


So all of sudden Tila is automatically the spokeswoman on behalf of all us asians? I admit I'm on the plumper side. I do have boobs and an ass (I don't need surgery for the future) but I don't fake 'n bake. I do tan easily outside, but it's au natural. Tila is Viet and they tend to be more "proud" of their heritage than other asians. I don't go yelling out "W00t! Azian pride 4eva!" I guess I must be the overly loud, annoying, dumpy, and opinionated asian you speak of? Wow, who could've thought...no wonder why asian guys hate me. Oh sh*t, guess what? I'm size 7.5 in shoes. Take that!
 Mexican_Teddybear
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 42
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/14/2008 12:22:46 AM
LOL fake n' bake,yeah I think only us latinos are the only ones that yell "hispanic pride forever!!!" I have a friend whos asian and she mostly likes latinos,never asked her but I will now since mostly I always see asain girls with white guys.But you know every single race has some kind of stereotype in relationship wise but I think whoever said that asian guys aren't forward with asking a asian girl is true.
 richcreamyhot
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 43
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/15/2008 10:02:55 PM
I HAVE NEVER DATED AN ASIAN GUY BEFORE.
 blueangel1023
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 44
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:17:36 PM
Wow, this thread is totally off topic...lol.

I believe the MAIN point of the topic was asking if it's ok to date an asian girl who only dates or has a white guy as a bf. As I'm sure some people have their preferences, I don't think it should matter just as long as she's dating you because she likes YOU, not because of your race being a factor. Although I do prefer dating caucasians, I have dated hispanics as well. I did give dating an asian guy a go, but it did not work out well...lol (Reasons I do not want to disclose for I will run this thread off topic again) However, it is a turn off when a guy tells me "All I date were Asian women" It just goes to show you're picky and you don't give anyone else a chance out there. Not to mention the yellow fever craze is so overrated.
I don't go telling my dates "I love white boys" If they must ask about the guys I usually go for, sure I'll tell that a majority of them are white. However, I don't running my mouth and start giving a lecture on why I prefer white guys over everyone else. Just let it be, damn!

Oh and btw kit901, my dad was born in the US in 1957. My grandfather served in the US navy as a chef. I'm sure there's quite a few Asians who are born in the US that are around your age. Maybe you just never encountered any who would give you the time of day, or perhaps as you would say "are too shy to ask you out"
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 45
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:56:54 AM
I have read few comments on this thread. I can 'hear' lots of 'arguing'. I want to say I understand people have their preference including the race they prefer to date. One of my friend would only date blacks, I know many caucausian men who do not feel any connection with Asian women, and yep they do reside in Vancouver. Having said all that, what is the moral of the story ... actually there isn't.

Everyone is entitled to date whoever they want. I don't find this phenomena that bizarre because of the geographical location we live in, yes there is lots of Asian Women here. I do have some theory and I tend to believe there is some truth in it. Please, don't start attacking me for it, because I said there is 'some' truth in what I want to say. I tend to agree with a couple of posters earlier in the thread who said there is little bit of 'myth'. Why? I think Asian represents 'exotica', it is such different world from the Western, so I tend to believe this one of the reason. I do have a friend who is obsessed with Asian Women, and I don't find it healthy. He talks a lot about them, as if there wasn't any other topic in the world, and in addition it seems to me he is objectifying them, by simply being attracted to race, not to a particular person. That's why I find it unhealthy, and definitely a 'myth'. Furthermore, he wasn't able to attract Asian woman in Canada, and went through the trouble of travelling abroad. Let's see what happens. He admitted that he finds Asian women in the country of origin less sophisticated (they want out). Just saying, go figure.

I don't see that many caucasian women being crazy about Asian men. So, this alone is also a phenomena to me, because here in Vancouver there is lots of them. So this is kind of interesting why?

I do believe there are some other hidden 'truths'. I have dated a couple of Asian Men in the past, it had got nothing to do with the race, I was originally attracted to them as people. I must admit I much more connected to my own race, and especially in the bedroom department, no question about it.

There are also other factors, like 'a sense of inferiority' that stems from historical backgrouond, it plays role in dating game, IMO. By the way I don't think any race is superior or inferior, I am talking about collective consciousness of various races.

There is a book written by Marguerite Duras, 'The Lover', she explores the topic further. And it is all about passion between two people in the first place. thnks

my 2 cents
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 46
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/25/2008 12:56:40 AM
I think it is very sad that you are so prejudice. What difference does it make what color someone else is; and what color the person is they prefer to date? I wouldn't be concerned unless I was dating that person myself; and they said "I only date white people." Then I would be concerned that they are prejudice. I have a lot of non-white friends; and would not want to subject them to someone who would judge them based on their color. To answer your question, if I see an Asian girl and a white guy, I think, "They look happy"; I don't think "That Asian girl looks happy with that white guy who also looks happy."
 Sunshine-99
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 47
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/25/2008 10:25:56 AM
The asian girls that I dated typically were only dating white guys. One mentioned that she liked the looks of offspring between a caucasion and an asian.

However, where I live - it's so diversified that you are limiting yourself if you are only dating within your race.

I don't have any problems with inter-racial dating. It's the 21st century. Different strokes for different folks.
 jet_45
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 48
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 8/1/2008 10:22:50 AM
lol not my parents who are tradtional chinese folks, i never heard asian folks who tell their kids that white is right . lol most of them call them the white gwai lows. lol. i hvae friends family members who says white ppl have no family connefctions, they are lazy......etc goes on
those asian who said white is right is probably the self hate or whtie wasehed not the asian ppl i now of. lol
 TheyCallMeMrAwesome
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 49
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 8/2/2008 9:25:06 PM
Maybe it is because they all look like jackie Chan, bruce lee, or Jet lee!

hehe, jk jk jk jk jk, just finished watching a funny episode of family guy and peter thought that some asian guy was jackie chan, so that made me think of this.
 TheyCallMeMrAwesome
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 50
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:59:42 AM
At least it isn't someone that dates out of their species!

ewwwww, thats creepy
 yellowfishy
Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 51
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 8/15/2008 5:55:04 PM
From my own personal experience on POF, just trying to IM white girls usually gets no response. Any comments on that or similar experiences?
 jet_45
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 52
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 8/15/2008 11:32:47 PM
ya so true, msot of the asian girls with white guys i noticed, the asian girls are chubby face, flat facesand not good looking or at most just average plain jane.
the white guys are like dorky napeleon dynamite types .

i mean you ever hear of high end white guys who are successful with asian girls-ah no. look at brad pitt, tom cruise, george bush, . in white society having a asian girls is like lower class

you hardly ggoing hear or see a asian girl whos a engineer, doctor, lawyer and come from a well off family with a white guy. most of them are with asian guy.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 53
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 8/15/2008 11:49:35 PM
I know I don't want a housewife, but I do love the beauty of asian women. - webquagmire


And I love the beauty of Caucasian women.

When I think of the likes of Diana Dors, Marilyn Monroe, Barbara Stanwyck, and Greer Garson, their feminine pulchritude makes my head spin and my heart race: shapely and voluptuous, sensuous, and entirely female. And they speak-a my language, which makes my life a whole lot easier.

Here's to Caucasian women. Your beauty never ceases to fascinate me.

- Peter
 StevenCheese
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 54
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 8/17/2008 1:42:45 AM
Little girl stop trolling and get a life.
Most people here are adult enough to know the crap you spewed was just to stir up some drama. For your post.
I think it's just the way this country markets everyone, over and over it's kind of brainwashing. Like they did in the philapines after they massacred the locals and set up teaching the kids their way of thinking.
A lot of the self hate is abhorable, it's not who they date, but to say that the people of their culture are weaker or unattractive to their ridiculous standards is simply mind boggling dumb.

EDIT: this post was originally made to dumpling girl bashing asian men.
 jet_45
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 55
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:28:07 PM
lol julie chen from big brother is not hot, she just at most avg

the korean girl with nichloas cage is just a plain gold digger lol only reason she with a baldy is since he is rich and fmaous
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 56
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 8/18/2008 4:59:07 AM
In my opinion I think the whole thread is swimming in a 9 pound bag of crap.

How long ago did the white men murder and pillage and you're still beating that pony? UG.
A pre-American Native Indian?
What the hell?

Give it a rest.
My family was persecuted and killed in their home land too, my grandmother 6 generations back was murdered in her own kitchen by men over running her home and city, they were forced to stand and die or flee -most of mine fled on the first boat outta there.


Bad topic, wish I hadn't stopped by to see it.
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 57
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 8/21/2008 11:57:41 AM
That's an interesting point. I always found asian women to be really sexy, but never dated one because in my day they tended to be too subservient for my tastes. I've always preferred confident, independant woman unafraid to state an opinion. Maybe I should have been looking for a "white-washed Asian girl"!
 KoreanPerson
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 59
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 2/17/2009 12:10:49 PM
Some reasons why some Asian girls only date white guys:

1. They think it's the cool thing to do.
2. They have a predisposed notion that all Asians are wife beaters with no manners.
3. They just like white guys and find Asians unattractive.
4. It's a source of pride to go against the grain by dating someone outside their race. Traditionally, it was frowned upon in many Asian cultures to date outside your race. You can see some rebellion here in play.
5. They had it hard dating other Asians because Asians don't find them attractive, but white people do.
6. There are a lack of Asians they relate to culturally. If they are raised around white people and are most comfortable with that, there might be a lack of Asians in the area that share the same cultural values. Asian-Americans that only hang out with other Asian-Americans are still very different, culturally, from those that were raised around the "mainstream" white crowd.
7. They had bad experiences dating other Asians, found 1 white guy that treated her differently and concluded that race was the factor dictating how they were treated.

I don't like Asian girls that date white people exclusively because it is a source of pride for them, and just like there has been a huge yellow fever jump, there has been a growing number of Asian girls that loudly and proudly date white people and demean Asian males. There is a best of craigslist post made by this one Chinese guy that sat down to have coffee at a Starbucks next to some Asian girl. The Asian girl apparently thought he would start hitting on her, so she hit on the closest white person, loudly, to show that she she's not interested in dating other Asians. That's just stupid. If that's your deal, then good for you. Don't make a scene of it like we're lesser than human.

These are just my observations and not a statement of facts.
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