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 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 3
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Anyone that helps out a relative in need should be admired, taking in an elderly parent to care for them when they are ill is what a family does. My grandparents lived with my family when they got too old to care for themselves. But I think the general consensus is if you are 35 years old and have never left home because Mommy does you laundry and daddy pays the bills? You are a dud.
 UR 2 girls away from 3sum
Joined: 12/23/2007
Msg: 7
Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:40:42 PM
Is your Dad Hugh Hefner?
 houston_gal
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 8
Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:41:10 PM
Absolutely agree with gatorsz. "Anyone who turns a blind eye towards their parents in their time of needs (especially if they were great parents, never starved/beat, etc you), you really deserve to get your asses kicked. Same with those who free-loads off their parents. "

 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 11
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:17:34 PM
Living with your parents, is not a turn off, wise thing to do, reason if you never found that special someone in your life and get along with your parents, I say - you should stay living with them - help pay the bills - help around the house when they ask - and save your money and make investments to have your money work for you instead of you working for it.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 13
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:05:46 PM
I live with my oldest daughter and son-in-law, so what the heck. Of course I lived alone, on my own until 18 months ago, but things happen. Right now they are in South Korea, so I'm alone most the time anyway, but it is their house. I think each case is different and unless you take the time to know, all you have is your own bigoted judgment.
 sweet_n_heart
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 15
Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:52:28 PM
I personally don't mind if the guy is still living wit his parents or have them live with him for whatever the reason may be. My current boyfriend still lives with his parents but thats only cause he can't afford to move out on own right now due to debt and stuff...

Only way it would be an issue for me if your umm lets say 27 + and still haven't left your parents home.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 25
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 7/3/2008 7:38:25 PM
Message # 3
But I think the general consensus is if you are 35 years old and have never left home because Mommy does you laundry and daddy pays the bills? You are a dud.
I agree with her.

It's not the fact that someone "still" lives with parent(s) as much as it is their own attitude about it. Clearly someone who views this as equal to "not being Corvette Ken" is more likely to have those traits of irresponsiblity (externalizing) than those who simply say...."yeah, I live with my parents, here are my reasons (although they're no one else's business) and I'm perfectly ok with the arrangement.

But yes, I'd have to vote with the majority of people and say that anyone over the age of 35 who lives at "home" because they're still enjoying the benefits of having Mommy and Daddy take care of them.....they're not going to be good relationship material.

IF however, someone that age is living with parents.....as an ADULT, bill paying, chore doing "tenant"....then why not!

All of these whiny posts would be eliminated if people would simply understand that it's NOT a matter of living arrangement....but rather the degree of responsibility that those arrangements represent. Taking care of ones own parents would, IMO represent a high level of responsibility.
 LuckyStar521
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 27
Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:15:07 AM
I am coming across this situation now and it would be interesting to get some feedback. My mother and step father are asking me if I would be interested in getting a mother/daughter house with them. Even though I am currently single I would take the bigger part of the house and they would take the smaller part. I am hesitant because I know once this happens than I am afraid of how future suitors might react to it. They are currently capable to take care of themselves, but my step father who is nearing 70 watched his father be bedridden for the last seven years of his life and is afraid he might get the same condition so they are trying to prepare ahead. I feel it is a tough decision to make, yet I would never let either of them go into a nursing home. I volunteer on a first aid squad and I have seen the inside of too many nursing homes and it makes me ill that people pay good money for the way their family is treated (like crap).

Anyway, if the house was a mother/daughter with separate entrance and so on does it make it any more acceptable? Also, knowing that once someone is living in this type of situation you would most likely have to move in with them until the parents passed. Would that be a turn off?
 isoU
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 34
Women do NOT CARE !!!!!!!!
Posted: 7/4/2008 2:21:48 PM
Wwomen care about is what is there in it for them !!!!!

1. Women want to get their claws into a men. A man is less prone to control if NOT isolated.

2. Women want to parasite off of men. Men that have other finacial considerations are less likely to be good hosts.

3. U R not good looking which makes #1 & #2 irrelevant.
 OHBBWn2OTK
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 38
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2008 7:41:18 PM
Ken2321 "the first question this one girl asked me was what kind of car do i drive? "

I ask that too, NOT because I am looking for a guy with money, I happen to really like cars. It also tells me if he is driving a sensible car that he is intelligent and not out to pick up chicks; aka Ken with the corvette. I love corvettes; however, not enough to date a guy just becasue he has one.

I also don't care what kind of job a man has, the fact that he has one is important. Even better if he likes what he does for a living, whining is so unattractrive.

I will be moving in with my sister soon, paying rent, a full on responsible adult. Does that make me less likely to be partner material?
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 39
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2008 8:22:24 PM
I can see living with one's parents when you are 20, but at 30 0r 40? I think by that time, a person should be out on their own...

I've heard about every excuse and reason as to why a person still lives at home, but to me, it is a turn off. I would rather date a person living in a small house or apartment with a roommate, than someone who still lives at home.

I'm not looking for a guy with a corvette, or credit cards, just someone who is self supportive, and has some kind of plan for their life...

I've lived on my own since age 14. I can't say that all of my decisions in life were the best, but thats what life is. Making decisions and learning from the consequences. Both good and bad...

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 yooperbrat03
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 40
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:07:42 PM
OP I went through this with my own mom for about four years. I'd always had a very rocky relationship with her, but she was my mom and I still loved her.
Here's a flip side to the coin.

It did make dating difficult, mainly because she was afraid that if I found someone who would continue to care for her. So she was a real "B-word" when the person I would be dating would come to the house or when I would be in a relationship. Lets just say I only had a few during the four years I cared for her.

The last summer she lived with me I was workin six days a week with one night I could go and have time to myself (stock car racing-worked the pit crew) which was an hour and a half drive away and would spend the night. She began makin threats to do destruction to the house which ended the one night away which escalated to me bein woken up one night to her crashin into my room with a knife tellin me she couldn't take it anymore and to get out.

Bottom line is if you do have family live with you, make sure to set bounderies, that each still have a life to live, and be reassuring that even though these have been set you still care.

It's not easy to care for an ailing parent/s on your own, trust me. Make sure you have an outlet for your own stress because there will be stress, for you and for the parent/s because both are giving up a little independence.


Brat
 openlove
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 46
Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 8/17/2008 4:25:19 PM
Its all fine, good and dandy to "help" your parents out WHEN NEEDED. But being realistic here- NOT everyone has ever had the "Brady Bunch" type of family.
Now- a GROWN MAN thats too scared to get a grip on reality that lives w/his parents REALLY needs to have someone cut the umbilical cord- and QUICK!

Yep- a major turn off.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 52
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:13:44 PM
I cannot abide by moochers.
That aside...
Why wait until you're in financial trouble to move in back with the folks (or vice versa?). This isn't rocket science.
Do you ever wonder why a lot of multi-generational households always seem to have money?
This need to separate and alienate is puzzling to me.
Situations may vary, but some of the time it's just ego.
It's all image BS. It's the whole "I am independent so I don't need anyone" mentality.
It's that mentality of "I don't want to look cheap so I will order the same massive meal even though I can share with my friend".
To look "trendy" and "hip" you live in a "happening" city paying sky high rent at a "swanky" condo while a perfectly good room is wasted at your parents' house.
It's all ego. And it's all an illusion in the end.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 54
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:25:23 PM

No. It doesn't turn me off. I think it is very kind that anyone would help out their parents in this day and age. Usually, kids just throw them in a nursing home and forget about them.
Remember this: There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you only have one set of parents. They are the ones who brought you into this world, and you most likely will never look back in regret because of the fact that you helped them out.
There is no law against kindness.


Cannot be better said!
To those who find this strange, there's nothing weird about having your parents in your house. These are the people who raised you! At the very least, fair is fair, they should be entitled to live in your house for FREE for 18 years.

It's written in my profile that if my parents move in with me, a girl's gotta be ok with that or she can take a hike. Same thing applies to her parents if they want to move in with us, of course.
Peace,
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 56
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:36:09 PM

And so one day the so-called independent walks into a grocery store and lo and behold! The shelves are empty and there are no employees in the store. And the independent says: "But, but, I just told everyone at POF that I was independent! Look! I even have my Federal Reserve Notes in my hand to prove it."


Indeed!
I always marvel at how some people I know boast about their investments and retirement accounts but are so miserly towards their own families and friends. I sure hope their investments keep them in good company when the time comes or when they have to pay complete strangers to wipe their bottoms in their old age.
When you invest in people, you don't have anything to fear. You can laugh at all these perceived "crises" and latest fear-peddling because you are secure in the one investment you know will serve you well in the end -- your own family and friends.
 sweet_n_heart
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 57
Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 8/17/2008 7:17:12 PM
For me it depends on the reason for your parents living with you.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 65
Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 8/19/2008 3:55:15 PM
For me there's two perspectives, as a parent and as a daughter (child).

I only asked for "help" from my parents when it was needed (it was infrequent and temporary) and they always came through. I raised my children the same way, I foster independence at the same time if they need smy help, I'd never turn them away.

There came a time when my parents needed my help and because I was able to I did. I didn't consider it a gift or favor or a burden at all, it was a joy and an honor.

Any son/daughter that will do whatever they can to take care of their parents, I not only find that admirable, but commendable and think nothing else than what a great parent to have raised such a caring , loving son/daughter.
 SASSYN89178
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 66
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:14:59 PM
If you took a poll you would probably find out that most women are left to take care of their parents not men. Sorry men. In very few instances does the man have his parents come live with him and his wife. In most families, if there is a daughter its up to her to take care of her parents. If your the single daughter then watch out.
If we all started to save some money and invest in our futures, some of this might be preventable.
For those of you who think it is horrible to put a parent in a nursing home, sometimes you have no choice, like when the person has Alzheimers.
So, if you're 35 and a woman and have no children and have to take care of your parents, do you think you're going to have children to take care of you in your golden years.
We should start preparing ourselves for who or whom is going to take care of us. Get yourself some long term care insurance. No I don't sell it.
I know of a single man who at 37 has NEVER lived on his own. His father passed away, and now he goes out with his Mother and her friends as her escort for the evening. His mother is about 65 or so. She has no intention of having him move out. They recently moved into a 2 bedroom Condo. Oh and his bedroom looks like that of a 17 yr old boy.
If you've lived by yourself that's one thing. If you've never lived alone, yes, it is a turn off.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 69
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 8/19/2008 7:21:38 PM
RE: First post.

Ya it sucks. I just had to move back home because I'm going back to school. Can't afford it otherwise. lol So I haven't even been looking for a girl. I'd feel too pathetic. As for your question... well... I dunno. If someone says "You live with your parents!?" and then you go "No no, my parents live with ME."... it sounds kind of iffy hahahaha. I think you'd still enjoy dud status.
 darlyngirl
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 73
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 8/22/2008 6:18:27 PM
My BF bought his house from his mother and lets her live with him. I moved in abou 9 months ago. It was a little awkward at first but I quickly adjusted and now I acually enjoy having her here with us. She is away alot in the evening, stays with my dog during the day, has semi-adopted me (she's never had a daughter). How could I dislike my bf for not kicking to the street the woman who raised him alone and helped him though some really hard times? On the other hand I also feel it is different because HE owns the house. His house=his rules... Plus he has a great start to his life here-a nice house to marry and raise kids in- when you're living in your parents house that may not be the case.
 mm143
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 77
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 9/29/2008 8:27:22 PM
i think it shows ur mature and u care for ur parents . if woman cant understand that their loss. besides ur parents might let u go to bingo with them lol
 Ebony83
Joined: 11/2/2007
Msg: 91
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 12/2/2008 2:23:48 AM
Mmm Parents who live with you?? No I dont think its a bad thing as long as your parent(s) know that you are an adult and no longer need to be parented... But to the OP... not all ladies\girls\women are after a Ken with the corvette,condo and credit card... Money and material things are nothing compared to the happiness of being with someone who takes you as you are and loves you anyways...
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