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 VoxClamantis
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 51
Do hearts harden with age?Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I can't believe this question is even being asked.

What we stop doing as we get older is that we stop deceiving ourselves. When I was 21, I could take a pretty face and the slightest bit of interest in me and turn it into The Romance of the Century. Then boo-hoo-hoo when the object of my illusions didn't turn out to be the blend of Saint Joan, Xaviera Hollander, Mother Theresa, and Carly Fiorina that I imagined her to be.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 54
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:43:24 PM
Most of these people spilling their hearts out move on to the next and the next and the next, it's much more about drama and hormones than about romance and real love. My arteries my have hardened a bit but my heart is fine, I just don't suffer fools lightly anymore and I'm not so much prone to fantasyland every time I met a man. Experience and maturity have saved me from some stupid places I use to go and get all giddy about and call it love and passion and heartfelt. It was mostly hormones and desperation and inexperience.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 63
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/20/2008 12:46:00 PM
but it has the capacity to love again,when the right lucky guy comes along!!

I wouldn't say that hearts harden with age but I'm pretty sure that we are more aware of their regular beat.
Hmmm ... and *an exception to the rule* doesn't skip heart department either, so those who experience an increased heartbeats due to in the air or on lover's lips, these heartbeats are welcome and well cherished.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 65
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:05:34 PM
That would depend on how much bad cholesterol is in the arteries ... harden arteries = harden heart.
 fetish4u
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 66
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:21:07 PM
Yes they do.I remember when I was young and fell for a girl I'd feel all warm inside and couldn't stop thinking about her.I even felt like life wasn't worth living without that person in my life.I stopped feeling this way when I reach my 30's.I find many women attractive but sometimes wonder if I'll ever have those feelings again.Part of me hated feeling this way because I couldn't get them out of my mind but the feeling of being in love did feel good.I think as we get older we know relationships usally aren't forever .
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 69
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/23/2008 10:41:18 AM
Just like your feet will harden over time if you go barefoot day in and out, creating calluses, scars, and a thickness of skin that will deaden the feelings of sharp pain, heat, along with wear and tear.

This is why many will wear shoes to protect those feet and let the wear and tear be placed on the soles of those shoes and not the soles of your feet. It does not mean that you can not take off those shoes and enjoy the ground below you, but only when you truly want to, and are prepared for that to happen.

The heart is very much the same. Over time of relationships, pain of losing or being told that you are not the one, dating many and creating all those scars and thickness of callus on the heart, many times you can stand all that is there for you, but you feel that much less because the body has a way of protecting itself.

There are many of us that have created "shoes" for the heart in the form of "walls", or "soles", in order to protect that heart yet have the ability to take that protection off and really feel all that is there when right.......

The problem is that we get so use to wearing "shoes", for protection, that we have a very difficult time taking them off to enjoy the ground as it was meant to be......

Just my opinion........
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 70
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/23/2008 11:15:19 AM
I wonder why anyone would find that comparison disturbing since both are part of your total body?????.......

As a holistic person, I know that the feet are critical parts of your total well being, just as the heart is, just in two different locations......

I do appreciate your comment though and understanding of what I am talking about and trying to compare when many never do understand how some of us protect ourselves in many many ways, especially when dealing with matters of the heart.....

Just my opinion.......
 grapevine
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 72
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/23/2008 2:54:23 PM
No, hearts don't harden with "age," they harden from bad experiences. And from those bad experiences, hearts are often broken -- sometimes to the point of being irreparable.

With age, the brain (intellect) takes over where the heart (emotions) left off. What may seem like the cruel, callous, and bitterness from us "old folks" is really, perhaps, just sound advice from a "BTDT" point of view.

Don't get me wrong: my heart's still capable of melting into a messy puddle all over the floor -- for the right man. But years of continual B.S. from those with "less than honorable intentions" does tend to make one very cautious and discerning.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 73
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/23/2008 3:23:33 PM
I think when we go through difficult times we have an option - at least I think it is an option - of using the bad experience to make our hearts a little harder, a little more protected... or, to use the experience as an opportunity to open us up more, be more vulnerable, feel compassion for ourselves and others... get ever closer to our real selves.

The instinct to try to protect ourselves from hurt is powerful... but all that ever gets us is further removed from who we really are and makes it harder to express our love. Any wall you build to protect yourself from pain also equally blocks you from joy.

So, for me, it is easier to love as I grow older. I know more about who I am and have less need to attempt to protect myself from hurt. As I drop more defenses, I'm free to truly express myself. Never been so free, never been so able to love.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 75
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:31:37 AM


Msg: 2 -- My heart has so many callouses I doubt it could ever be broken again.


Ever hear of the expression "Body by Bondo", indicating a car has endured so many collisions that its body has more Bondo in it than metal?

For me, it's "Heart by SuperGlue". My heart is saturated with the stuff. Like yours, mine is unbreakable.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 76
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:38:48 AM


Msg: 4 -- But hardened? Never!


Neither is mine. The SuperGlue actually SOFTENED it somewhat. In the past, my heart shattered. Now it just bounces. That SuperGlue is some really great stuff!!!
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 77
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:43:57 AM


Msg: 9 -- Despite the walls we build up all it takes is that certain someone to make you feel like you're 13 all over again.


Actually, I am rather jealous of you for being ABLE to make that statement. Long GONE are the days I will ever feel THAT again.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 78
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:50:38 AM


Msg: 15 -- omg, I'm falling in love with a fantasy....


I have already fallen in love with a fantasy, but that is ALL that it is, a fantasy and NOTHING more. My fantasies will never see the light of day. If any of them ever did, I would die of shock and not even be able to enjoy it.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 79
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 2:04:48 AM


Msg: 17 -- I have had several men talk by email or instant messaging for over 9 months


I normally go one tiny step further. I go for the afternoon coffee meetNgreet. I look for the "sparks" and never see any. For me, no "sparks" means no second "face-to-face". It's over and done. I've lost interest and am looking for someone else. No sex is ever involved, simply BECAUSE of the fact there were no "sparks". I have had meetNgreets with some very sexy looking women, but for me, it takes much more than just looks to get me interested.

No "sparks", no sex. No sex, no interest. No interest, no relationship.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 80
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 2:22:34 AM


Msg: 26 -- So are you balanced enough for casual sex now?


Some of us have NO desire for "casual sex" in the accepted definition of the term. I, for one, do NOT. Unbridled and passionate sex is a KEY CORNERSTONE for a Life-Time Relationship. In this case, "casual sex" would mean the very frequent expression of mutual love.

Were you to ask that question of me, I would have to say "No", simply because I have not yet found my complementary counterpart to achieve that balance.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 81
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 2:57:12 AM


Msg: 56 -- I don't think it is the heart that hardens --- but rather there is tiredness that sets in.


What an odd thing to say. But, on reflection, it seems to be quite accurate. I am TIRED of the pain. I am TIRED of the disappointment. I am TIRED of the failures. I am TIRED of the STUPID GAMES. I am SICK and TIRED of the whole mess, and I TRULY want to give up.

But I CAN'T give up. Something inside me PRODS me onward, and I don't know what it is. Something keeps me pursuing "The Holy Grail" and I don't even know if it exists.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 82
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:14:47 AM


Msg: 67 -- anytime I see a beautiful young lady hooked up with quite an older man its usually because he is rich and she knows it. Am I being unfair in my outlook?


I don't think your view is unfair. I think it is QUITE realistic, as a matter of fact. It is one view I hold near and dear to my heart. I am VERY suspicious of ANY woman much younger than about 5 to 10 years of what I am who shows an interest in me.

If she is in her 20s or 30s, suspicion leads me to "Let's go SLOW and see how this will turn out. Without exception, my suspicions were ALWAYS accurate.

But, the closer she is to my age, the more likely I am to push for "Full Speed Ahead". So far, this has gained me a few platonic friends, but nothing beyond that.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 83
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:26:25 AM


Msg: 74 -- You're never too old to fall in love again,at least that's what I hope..my heart aches for that.


I hope for the same, and my heart aches for it as well. But, REALISTICALLY speaking, I truly wonder if such a thing is possible. Desire is one thing. Feasibility seems to fatally collide with this desire.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 85
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:55:41 AM
First you have to have a heart in the first place....then some do, some don't.
But the odds sure ain't good with what's left ,
especially when filled with fantasy scenarios, lack of curiosity, flexibility or short attention spans.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 86
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:02:21 AM


Msg: 88 -- I hope you don’t become one of those jaded, disgruntled individuals that scoffs every time they read about the misery and suffering someone else is feeling as the result of a lost love or failed relationship.


I truly hate it when folk deride some poor victimized soul who has been battered by the "Love Bug". I normally try to "buck up" such a person by saying "move on" or "NEXT!" or something to that effect. But ridicule? That goes FAR beyond my bounds. I can't see ridiculing someone who has made the same mistakes I have. That would be like ridiculing myself, and I have FAR TOO MUCH PRIDE to do that.

I OWN my errors, so I choose NOT to bash others for making the SAME errors.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 87
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:20:42 AM


Msg: 100 -- The instinct to try to protect ourselves from hurt is powerful... but all that ever gets us is further removed from who we really are and makes it harder to express our love. Any wall you build to protect yourself from pain also equally blocks you from joy.


This is a totally logical opinion from a cerebral point of view. But from an emotional standpoint it makes no sense at all. So the question then becomes "How does one bridge the gap between logic and emotion?". Alternatively, "How does one bridge the gap between rationality and desire?"



So, for me, it is easier to love as I grow older. I know more about who I am and have less need to attempt to protect myself from hurt. As I drop more defenses, I'm free to truly express myself. Never been so free, never been so able to love.


From this I perceive that you apparently have "bridged the gap" between insanity and reality. So, if you would, please, enlighten us. How did you accomplish this remarkable feat?
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 88
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/27/2008 4:46:20 AM


Msg: 101 -- I've heard it all, been told to be a man, etc.


Now THIS is what I mean by RIDICULE. Emasculation is the LOWEST form of ridicule. "Be a man". Like a man should have NO emotion. What an asinine concept. MEN **ARE** HUMAN, and as such, HAVE **HUMAN** EMOTIONS!!!!

WE, as MEN, DO have feelings!!! Oh, yeah, I DO try to maintain a STOIC exterior in an effort to deny the existence of what I feel, but the DEEPER, HUMAN side of me REFUSES to be SMOTHERED!!!! Yeah, I try to hide my feelings, and most of the time I am successful in the attempt. EXPRESSING my feelings has ALWAYS been my weak point. Concealment comes much easier than expression, at least for me. In relationships, I have always worked against a handicap. Failure at expression. Success at suppression. Wow, what an accomplishment.
 MARCYRR
Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 90
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/29/2008 9:49:43 AM
I dont believe that, hearts harden with age, unless, you are referring to arterioschlerosis. But, I do believe that, many don't have a heart at all, especially if they have never been married, and lie to you about it, correct, hizdog??
 MARCYRR
Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 91
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 7/29/2008 9:50:35 AM
how can a heart age when ALL ONE IS THINKING ABOUT IS GETTING TO THE OTHER PERSON'S PANTS??? RIGHT, HIZDOG???
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 94
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 8/4/2008 6:29:47 AM
OPie ~~ Nope, they don't harden. What happens is you learn that you can and will survive. What the young tend to believe is that they won't survive, and if they do, it somehow wasn't real love.

The meanness that you observe is simply mean people, who like to dump on someone more vulnerable than they are. You'll find it on any thread, really, if they smell blood. I figure they're simply helping peeps looking for a mate to sort *them* out.

You could send them love and light, but I 'spect they don't want it.


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