Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 99
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?Page 3 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Please, please don't tell me that hearts are not the only thing that hardens with age? My bad!

OT: I think Apple has something there. We are smarter, (at least I hope), have lived long, experienced much, won and lost. So I think that when the opportunity presents itself, we are more apt to try it out for all the good it can be? Mind you, yes, we are more protective of our hearts and pocketbooks I suppose. But? To find love again? At our age? Why not?
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 100
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 8/4/2008 9:36:52 AM
I will let you know once I find mine again.........

In the mean time.......I think all my "other" parts are working just fine.....

OT.......Maturity gives you the voice of experience if one lets that maturity govern your brain and not your heart, and that just might be the difference between rushing in versus entering slowly......

Just my opinion........
 Sniper308
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 104
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 8/5/2008 12:24:22 PM

Do hearts harden with age?


From age? No.

From having your guts stomped out repeatedly, endless rejections, countless heartbreaks, and so on? Yes.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 106
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 8/5/2008 10:02:40 PM
I think hearts harden with bad experiences not with age.
 jillsh
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 107
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 8/5/2008 11:02:00 PM
so true , hearts harden with experience, my first husband screwed half the country and was violent the 2nd walked out and went back to his first wife (strange because we never argued )and the third well he was killed so yes i say hearts can harden but it is only from what life has thrown at you ,how you handle it is another issue and i still live in hope lol.:: :
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 113
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 8/7/2008 3:40:17 PM
No way!

My heart is the same how it was long time ago.I believe...that God gave me heart...planted there desires...which I have to realize...to be happy.
Heart is a place for luxury feelings...best emotions...best feelings.

A mind...is a place for other things...
 BDRT
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 114
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 8/7/2008 3:48:05 PM
I agree that it's not age, but experiences that hardens hearts. I prefer to think that I have become more discerning, not hardened.
 cudahy
Joined: 11/28/2007
Msg: 116
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 8/9/2008 10:06:46 PM
My heart has been crushed so many times and for so long I can't remember it any other way
 STH III
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 8/10/2008 2:56:29 AM
NO, my heart has gotten more tender as I have gotten older. I definitely feel sad about the loss of romantic love and I hope to find it again. I also know the empty feeling you are talking about. I was married 23 years to a woman that left me for a guy that was 23 years old, she was old enough to be his mother. I have found that there are a lot of damaged people out here with a lot of very heavy baggage and lots of women with big mood swings and I want a low stress life.
 MARCYRR
Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 119
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/18/2008 7:24:56 PM
WHAT HEART!!!!!
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 120
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/19/2008 6:24:17 AM
My heart, well it's battered, beaten and warn, no longer bruised ,,yet scarred ,,not by choice, rather by life, It's exterior is tough, Yet within those the exterior walls of it's burnt remains, It lives with hope, desire to love,,,,,If there is a woman wise enough, she will not approach from the front,, but ease in the back door, that has no chains or locks, she will enter as if a trojan horse arrived within me,, Find the light,, one day...
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 121
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/19/2008 9:48:49 AM
I am much more weepy, tender hearted and emotional than I ever was as a young woman. Cripes, I cry at baseball games! (not ashamed to admit it, so there!! )

I don't think it is so much that people are hardened, it is just that younger ages emote outwardly more as they don't have the ability of "control". Youngsters cry over what an adult would view as a silly little thing. Teens wail about a crush not “noticing” them, younger folk cry on the shoulder of a friend when they get "spurned" more easily than us "older and wiser" folk. In my opinion we may feel it just as much but we just keep it to ourselves. I think for some older people they view an adult reaching out equals weakness. In my opinion it depends on the situation in which they are trying to reach out.

If an adult were speaking of a tragedy, a long term love lost or even death, I think most people would empathize. If you were to have a 45 year old going on in dramatic fashion because someone they met 2 days ago didn’t return a phone call in 5 minutes than I think most would probably tell them they were being a bit immature.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 123
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/19/2008 2:07:52 PM
Then let's dance to the song of life, brush off the blues and keep on keepin' on everybody with a heart......
 OldFolkie
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 124
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/19/2008 6:43:57 PM
Good for you, Ismene!
I'm not only an old folkie, but I am still (or maybe that's becoming even more so) an old softie. Yes, I cried when Ol' Yeller died, and I still would. Like so many of us over 45, I've been bruised a bit, but I refuse to let life's troubles turn me into a curmudgeon.

Happy Holidays to you all!
 bandit7220
Joined: 12/3/2005
Msg: 127
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 3:06:49 PM
WOW !!! now isn't that the big question, I think it's a pretty individule thing, I have known some that make a chunk of ice a place to warm up, along with the other side of the spectrum, and many places in between, I like to believe I myslef have gotten wiser with my age, and I still wear my heart on my sleeve and think I always will, if you worry to much about meeting someone, or will it work out, or when is it all going to blow up? well then you have set it in action, and it will be harder to meet someone, will be harder to work things out and so forth, because that is where you have put yourself mentaly, your state of mind has a lot to do with everything in your life, but if you don't leave yourself open in a relationship, well maybe it won't hurt so bad when it ends, but you have already created the end thinking that way, so how could it be anything else?

so in answering your question? no I don't believe that, but we can let our heads overthink things to much and destroy it before it has a fighting chance.
 rdcnorm
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 129
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 4:12:50 PM

So, everyone, do we make 2009 the year?
The year to jump off the cliff, eyes wide open?

Not with out my life jacket,,, opps another one of life mistakes,, should have been a hand glider,,, opps live and learn

Hearts a liquid,, let them flow,, who knows it just may pour in to someone glass that is 1/2 full......
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 132
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 8:03:51 PM

I think its called protecting our hearts from breaking one more time. Talk about "cry me a river"! Do you remember going thru that first breakup how difficult it was? I don't know about you, but I did promise myself that I would not allow my heart to suffer to that degree ever again. Secretly however, I'd love to be able to love that way again


...I sure do...it hurt so bad I ached. I thought to myself at the time that no one was *ever* going to do that to me again....but guess what? Years later I met someone who totally swept me off my feet...third time lucky?....I hope so, I'm more than ready.

...maeflowers
 redheadwen
Joined: 10/26/2008
Msg: 135
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 8:29:47 PM
My heart wasn't truly open until I fell in love for the very first time at 48..Of course I had no idea that it had been closed until I felt what it was like to finally be open..And now..it's been battered and shattered and put back together again...And it's open..although just barely...as it heals it will open more. I have to believe that love will find it's way back in ...I want those feelings and emotions and pure unadulterated joy again.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 136
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/20/2008 8:41:28 PM

I think my heart has softened but my my mind has become sharper and hopefully won't get fooled again. Judging by my grammer my mind ain't that sharp.


...Well ya know what they say?....The mind is the first thing to go....or is that the eyesight? Nevermind.


...maeflowers
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 138
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/21/2008 6:16:41 AM
imo, as long as you have chocolate your heart will never harden with age!

I have been fortunate enough in my life to love and been loved in my life and

hope too find that one last love and partner !

As long as her glass is at least half full,

mentally and physically, what's not to love in the "happy hearts",

If your young in heart and wise in wisdom it like,mi casa,su casa....

 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 143
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/21/2008 12:08:46 PM
I don't think so but would tend to think that heart is more in tune with head
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 144
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/21/2008 12:20:31 PM
I certainly don't think that our hearts harden with age, in fact just the opposite! I think that at 54 I am much more generous with my concern for others than I was at 21! However, I also think I am much more realistic about what is really important in life!

In retroflect, I realize that much of the angst that I allowed to impact my life in my early twenties was simply my self-interest getting in the way of my common sense! The reason that comes with age tells us that if a guy is a jerk, he's a jerk and we should be glad that he dumped us so that we are free to move on to someone who is worth our time and attention!

Perhaps when you see postings on this and other internet sites from we older (I prefer wiser) posters, you might want to ask yourself whether or not we are just trying help turn your perspective from self-centered to realistic!

As for feeling love and attraction, I think that at our age we understand that there will be many more afternoons needing to be filled with warmth, conversation, and sharing of ideas, thoughts, and joy than with hot passionate love making. Doesn't mean that the hot passionate love making doesn't exist - cause it most certainly does! Just means that we've lived long enough to have gotten past the soap opera dramatic notion that love is based on how hot someone is! Love is based on whether or not someone respects our opinions, is concerned for our welfare, shares at least some of our common interests, and fits into our lives!

At 21, we want someone that will simply curl our toes! At 54 it takes someone who not only curls our toes, but also wants to discuss politics, religion, and the events of the day! At 21, we look for someone who drives the right car or has the right job. At 54, we know that the car that someone drives, or the job they do is just a car or a job - what is important is whether or not they are happy and content with the car they drive, and whether or not they do the job they have well! At 21, we think romance is candlelit dinners, roses, and romantic declarations of undying love! At 54, we know that romance is a bowl of chili in front of a roaring fire with a good glass of wine, and a guy who will keep your feet warm in the middle of the night (after he has curled your toes of course).

So - do our hearts harden as we age? Nope, but our hearts do gain wisdom and insight! And - frankly, I must that at 54, we have to work harder - after all - we require more than just a curl of the toes now!
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 147
view profile
History
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/21/2008 4:39:32 PM

My heart is stone. Cold as ice. I spit on love. I tread on your heart with hobnailed boots. (this isn't how it sounds}.

^^ faker, lol

I actually think my heart has become softer, gooier. Experience has taught me that I will survive whatever comes down the pipe... so the potential of being hurt is less scary. Experience has also taught me how very much one does hurt... and rather than using that to harden off, I think I've used the pain to become more understanding, less quick to judge and more compassionate. Leastways, that's the theory!
 whatsallthis
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 150
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/21/2008 8:46:03 PM

I am not the same person I was twenty years ago. It would a shame if I were. I have learned from experience and have grown as a person. I don't think you ever lose your feelings, you just are more discerning on who you trust with your heart.


Well said, Pirate.

I, and apparently many other members on POF have huge trust issues. When someone screws you over royally and proceeds to blame you, even though you were trying to make things right, you tend to get a very distorted picture of relationships.
 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 151
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/21/2008 9:10:49 PM
I like to think that part of my strength as a woman is to be soft, tender, loving and somewhat nurturing in my demeanor toward anyone (not just men). It would seem to me that if we can hold on to all of the traits that make us who we want to be instead of letting heartache or disappointment change us, that is the true measure of strength.

I have lost a great many of my more romantic ideals since I was younger and I never have been one to cry easily but I do laugh easily and I can live with that. I still feel tenderized when I see a man kneel down to talk to a child or someone simply being kind.

I probably have more compassion for someone who has been badly hurt than I ever had but I've also managed to equalize some of the expectations I've had for myself over the years that I never had for others until recently.

We're not supposed to go through life without learning but there's a significant difference between letting life's challenges change us into bitter, jaded and hardened creatures instead of appreciating them as opportunities to grow. I no longer fall in love with someone's potential as I once did... To me, he's either got what attracts me now or I let it go... For me, the best part of being older and capable of "loving in spite of" rather than "loving because of" is the fact that I am at peace with the difference.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  >