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Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 166
Do hearts harden with age?Page 5 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I think love is a gift, you are suppose to give it many want to be LOVED vs loving...

Recently a friend of mine was talking about his ex-wife and how he still loves her, if only she wasnt so selfish..blah blah blah...

I told him Love is accepting who someone is to us...not how we want them to be to us....

I think with maturity we get to see our prior mistakes, where you meet someone and then you think well if this happens or if they do that or if i can convince them to do this...blah blah blah...vs understanding we have to accept who they are to really have love.

I told him to expect nothing from her and then anything he gets from her would be considered a gift.
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 167
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/23/2008 4:56:02 PM
I can't speak for women, but according to medical literature, most men mellow with increased-age. Or put it another way, with decreased levels of testosterone, most body parts get somewhat softer.
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 171
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 12/28/2008 2:11:12 PM
Hearts harden due to negative things. It is an emotional experience due to negative experiences in life. Some one is hurt and chooses to be hardened by it, seeking revenge, or becomes angry, mean or nasty, lacking empathy. It is an imbalance of the soul for many reasons. But, one doesn't have to chose to stay there in that condition. The tale of Scrooge proves that. He was resentful and lonely and angry. It took a journey of Christmas past, present, and future to show him, but he chose to change and did and was much more happier for it.

It is best to avoid negativity. It only creates more of the same. Wisdom comes from experiences and should teach us that being hard-hearted isn't a wise chose.
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 174
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 2/17/2009 9:34:01 PM
Its not a hardened heart. Lets face it.... we have less time so it makes sense to move on promptly.
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 175
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 2/19/2009 8:01:36 AM
It's called "scar tissue...."
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 178
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 2/19/2009 9:32:59 PM
I have felt my heart open, get hurt and harden, then repeat this process more times than I care to remember, but I always try to make myself vulnerable and open to life's sweetness again, because what the hell else is there...besides death? A hard heart is a protected heart but also a closed heart. And it is also a heart that is prone to coronary disease.
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 179
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 2/19/2009 10:25:13 PM
Not at all. I feel and hurt and get all giddy and feel hot and bothered and heart flutters and giggle and flirt and all that good stuff.

I'm probably more so that way than I was at 20. Don't listen to the hard hearted cynical people.

Feel, breathe, enjoy all your senses.
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 180
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 2/20/2009 2:38:22 AM

if "growing up" means a hard cynical outlook on life I'll pass. I want romance, want that special feeling, want the sun to shine brighter, the air to be fresher ,without that what's the point????
I agree................what's the point. If my optimism makes me naive I'm willing to accept the consequences. I don't want to become hard hearted. Smiles, romance, passion, companionship, laughter take priority.
Remember : If you don't have a "Smile" on your face, and a "Song" in your heart
Your just a sour old fart!!!!!!!!!!!
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 181
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 2/20/2009 5:08:07 AM
as i evolve, i think i began to process things differently. i now know how to 'unlearn' the thought mechanisms that made life difficult 20 years ago. and i've realized that my consciousness has matured . i see that my existing perception of the losses that caused me grief can alter if i allow it to. i can see the larger picture with objectivity.

this shift in vision gives me a sense of harmony with circumstances and events that would have sent me into a tailspin years ago. and i feel more comfortable like this than i would if i had huge, dramatic, emotional reactions to anything that comes my way.

i once knew someone who could sob for hours ( literally) about every perceived injustice inflicted upon her from childhood on. i could never live like that. abusing alcohol on a daily basis, wallowing in self-pity, blaming others for one's own situation, insisting that someone else advise and counsel while simultaneously abusing and berating the advice ~ these behaviors indicate an unevolved spirit.

guage the emotional reaction in comparison to the events leading up to it. if it seems out of proportion, we have a problem. if it happens once in a while, we need to look at it more closely. if it becomes a way of life, we need to realize that we have a much larger issue.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 185
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 2/21/2009 10:09:52 PM

if "growing up" means a hard cynical outlook on life I'll pass. I want romance, want that special feeling, want the sun to shine brighter, the air to be fresher ,without that what's the point????

.....I pray I never become so hard and cynical that I forget what it's like to be in love again.

Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 191
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 2/24/2009 11:01:16 AM
i believe in the energy that is described in the chakras of eastern meditation. my heart is usually open, i just close down or get stuck near the other energy centers. they, in turn, influence the strength of my heart. the trick is to balance and let the energy flow through. it takes a strong person to be vulnerable.
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 192
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 2/24/2009 11:09:05 AM
Hearts soften with age. They have seen and heard and felt, they have grown to accommodate a world of people.

The arteries harden with, but the deepness, the richness of love and acceptance and tolerance, is fuller with age.
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 193
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 3/1/2009 5:52:15 PM
I personally believe that if your heart has hardened with age you really wouldn't be here looking to share it with someone else. Those who post on here with bitterness and resentment arent the ones who I would look to for much of anything let alone advice. These are the folks who have been hurt but havent figured out how to get over the pain and I wish them recovery but I wont buy into the bitterness.
I read of folks who say they have put up walls and such but in reality we have all been hurt before so we tread cautiously..but we still tread. I do believe in our youth we were wide eyed and didnt yet know what the loss of a great love would do to us so we rushed in where some angels and a few devils feared to
Now we walk cautiously. For example, introductions via the internet, emails and then phone calls and a possible meeting in a safe place. So I dont really see it as a harden heart just a more careful one. After all we all want a joyous heart not one pained by another loss.
Do I sometimes feel loss at past romances .. I would say yes I do. I dont dwell on it but all our experiences in life mold us into who we have become. The lessons we learn are important but what we do with the knowledge is the key. As long as you are alive you can still love.
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 194
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 3/3/2009 5:30:58 AM
Bitterness. Is the art of a hard other words so many people are so scared that they use bitterness to cover their fear. Fear is what keeps others from connecting. I have seen this over and over, used it myself for a short time. I believe this thing should be a stage. Some people retain it for life. Fear will paralyze you it will stop you from succeeding. To over come fear.....(bitterness,hardened,cynical) all the other words that I just don't have to put your ego on the line. Tear yourself apart and look deep into your soul and find out your part. A hard heart is trying to protect itself it is surviving the best way it can. To feel the ability to love to reach out is scary for most our age. We survived the heart aches the hurts the losses and we think of ourselves victors with battle scars. In other wards survivors. I am past the point of being a survivor with a hard heart. I have gone through layers of self doubt examining my behaviors and attitudes and self discovery. I recognize my parts which lead to failures of relationships. I put my responsibility on myself and consider it a life lesson which I have learned...whenever I meet someone that has a hard heart. I understand but also understand its not my responsibility to show them the way to soften the edges and move past that point.......Self discovery is something that they need in order to move on past the hard heart point. Some stay in that stage and its a shame for them they are only hurting their-selves........maturity and wisdom with age is a great thing.....taking life by its tail is a great ride.......Good luck great post....
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 196
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 3/12/2009 4:45:10 PM
I think the aging process ITSELF hardens our hearts. We either get tougher, amidst aches, pains and other health maladies, or we die. That said, our hearts can be softened, no matter what our age, by selfless acts of giving, helping others, planting a garden, etc., making new life grow.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 197
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 1/22/2013 6:11:27 PM
Personally I feel as men and women age we loose that simple openness we use to have. Yes we were naive 30 to 40 years ago but love hit us over the head (heart) so much easier. The walls are so much higher now and most older individuals allow our "Wisdom" to protect us.

The game of love rewards risk-taking with pleasure. Staying single rewards caution with safety. Being too picky is a way of playing it safe to avoid losing again. I think this is a female strategy that men, with time, adopt.

By keeping her hair up, Rapunzel gets no men tangled in it. They remain below where they can't touch her, below her window, drawn by her lament but unable to ascend.

Some men pretend to be too picky but should look out their window and count the absent women there. Women don’t wait around for men to let down the hair they no longer may have.
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 198
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 1/23/2013 2:33:06 PM
This depends on how we perceived our past relationships. For example, in my youth I dated a girl I was crazy about, but she was a complete and total baitch. The way she was hardened me quite a bit, actually for the better. As a result I was stronger and more prepared for the next baitch that came my way, and she never got out of the starting gate before I quickly shut her down. Pretty soon, I was very good at seeing the baitches for what they were before I even started dating them, which helped me avoid issues in the first instance. And since there are so many female baitches, this is a very important ability to have. So yea, my heart became harder . . but for the better too.
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 199
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 1/23/2013 2:38:40 PM
I think some do...Its hard to live with an open heart and some dont make it. I think some peeps respond by becoming jaded, bitter or angry too. However, I dont believe thats everyone or even a majority. Hopefully some of us just become wiser with age.
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 200
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 1/28/2013 12:31:31 AM
I am romantic at heart forever, if there is no romance there is no love. I don't regret these experienced from people passing through in my life or me passing through in their life .

My heart did not harden with age but wiser . In this journey of life ,we learned some lessons to be a better person than yesterday on connecting with another person.
Joined: 1/19/2013
Msg: 201
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 1/28/2013 1:51:27 AM
I agree what you said...
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 202
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 1/28/2013 6:12:04 PM
The answer can go in many directions due to the amount of variables involved.
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 203
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 1/28/2013 7:00:47 PM
Simply put..YES!!
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 204
Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 1/28/2013 7:22:16 PM
I used to loath everyone.
Now I just hate them.
See, people can change if they try.
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 205
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Do hearts harden with age?
Posted: 1/28/2013 8:30:54 PM
I havent lost anything, I have gained the ability, thank you God! to not be such a whiny drama baby when it comes to other people not giving me what I want(like love) . Now, if something truly bad happens, the death of a loved one etc, then thats different. But, if anyone thinks I'm going to waste another minute or one more tear on some schmuck that didnt work out, they are sadly mistaken. Life is to short to let some jerk make you feel bad.
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