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 whatsallthis
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 80
Dumped, devastated and don't know whyPage 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I have often in life met women and thought we clocked just fine only to have them turn cold on me. I feel your pain, buddy. I have almost completely lost hope.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 84
Dumped, devastated and don't know why
Posted: 9/13/2008 11:40:13 AM
This kind of sorry is just sad.

The OP seems to be a nice young man - and she seems to be a nice young lady.

It is just sad.
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 86
Dumped, devastated and don't know why
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:33:02 PM
The candle that burns the brightest, burns out the quickest. She is disappointed that she has a new found F**U**C**K Buddy. She did not intend on this relationship getting started so fast on the wrong foot She was taken away from the romance and fling thing, and now she feels there is a "settling down" into the slavery of belonging to a man, who has little intention of commitment. In essence, she has acted like a S*L*U*T, and she getting the royal treatment as such. She does not like this. What is her role now that she has gotten into this mess of a free F*U*C*K.... and you will expect her to give out all the time! This is every woman's nightmare. Now she is stuck in trying to figure out where all of this is going.! You don't even know each other. You haven't really had a long-term attraction that will last. There is no substance here. Too bad you jumped her bones so soon. Sex always changes the entire equation.
 repair-guy
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 88
Dumped, devastated and don't know why
Posted: 9/14/2008 12:28:39 PM
Don't you get it OP, she said there's no sparks because your a fireman,
you put the fire out.
Maybe I'm missing something here, but after reading your posts it's obvious to me that there is no foundation to this relationship you speak of.
If it was a blaze - it was arson, and you were playing with the matches.
You went from great looking couple to 'no spark' because you rushed in.
Do you approach fire-fighting in that manner? Run right in to a burning building, hose in hand?
Or do you consider if the building can support your intentions?
What were your intentions anyway... didn't you have a good time?
Can't have your cake and eat it too.
 Sceves
Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 95
Dumped, devastated and don't know why
Posted: 9/14/2008 11:13:35 PM
No you can't have her back. She has something going on with someone else or other guys. Listen, girls always have a plethora of guys in the waiting to get with them. They get all this attention and it makes them very arrogant and they feel they can get away with anything therefore the coldness. Just let it go and find some other girl.
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 99
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History
Dumped, devastated and don't know why
Posted: 11/29/2008 7:22:04 AM
I think maybe she suddenly had doubts and totally backed off. She reacted quite definitely, saying there's no spark, but you felt there was and she seemed to behave as if there was. No wonder you are confused. I think she's probably given herself time to reflect but in a rather clumsy way. I suspect she is interested but thinks you are more interested and then panicked at how involved she thought you were getting. You could try keeping cool, keeping a little distance between you and then seeing how things pan out. I think she needs to know you have self control and aren't going to freak out and start pressuring her. It sounds like you've shown that already instinctively. It doesn't sound to me like you want to give up on her yet, but I'd still be wary if you get talking to her again in case this is a pattern for her - making approaches and then backing off dramatically - it could get hurtful for you and you'd have to decide at some point if it's worth it.
 comforyou
Joined: 11/20/2008
Msg: 100
Dumped, devastated and don't know why
Posted: 11/30/2008 7:06:55 AM
i think that you should keep the lines of communication open just test a hey once a month see if theres a response. dont push for a convo . let her. and if you do talk dont ask. let her feel comforrtable. maybe shes one of those people who likes her freedom and doesnt want to be pressured. i do think somthinig happened where she lost interest before your trip. maybe she met someone she thought she'd be interested in and realized later it was a no. ive had men do that to me and then try to come back later because they dont want to totally say no but, leave the may be still open. its takes 3 months to really think relationship thou. i really believe she may have felt you were becoming to clingy and she wanted to back off. again sometimes well will never know. if you want her, be a friend .be cool just a hey. nothing more.see what happens. if she cares she'll come back around dont chase her. she'll miss you. meantime keep busy and date . you may pine over her and lose out on someone really special . another women in your heart is a big turn off to another.
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 108
Dumped, devastated and don't know why
Posted: 5/27/2010 8:03:13 PM
Too bad, we rarely get any updates on threads like this.

People MUST learn to take things slow! Always counting their chickens before they hatch! Men seem to fall in love too damn quickly! Women on the other hand, seem more offended if you go to bed with them and leave them, but it's not love, or how men think of it! You need to get time in with a woman, before anything means anything.

Not only that, but men become blinded and STOP paying atttention to the signs that are usually there!

All too often, women are attracted to a man for specific reasons. Then they become involved and he quickly stops being that, which she was attracted to. Or, she just finds out, what he is really like and the attraction fades! At that point, nothing he can say or do, will change her feelings for him! The FACT that most men don;t have a clue as to what sparks and keeps attraction in women, certainly doesn't help!
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