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Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 11
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guy off to iraqPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Why would you not stand behind him? Does the relationship mean anything to you? As the mother of 2 soldiers I cannot imagine anyone not supporting a person over there. He needs to know that someone at home apprecitates his efforts. I know that he is going over as a body guard but he still needs the support from home.
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 13
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guy off to iraq
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:25:04 PM

It's a shame you are so narrow minded. I've been to Iraq and the other wonderful parts of the middle east many times, and am heading back there myself soon. Better for him to find out you are unsupportive of him now than later after the relationship gets more serious. Having somebody worth coming back to makes the time over there go much easier.

I know this is OT but...
I would loved to have sent you an e-mail, but your profile settings would not allow me (distance settings) just to let you know how thankful I am of what you are doing and how proud I would be to have a friend like you.

As for OP it is sad that you would allow distance to interfere with a possible relationship. It also sounds like you may have trust issues. The gentleman you are dating is doing his job and sometimes jobs require travel. Would you be questioning the relationship if he was an OTR truck driver or is it because he is going to Iraq? Ya it's scary for someone you care about to go to Iraq because there's the possibility they may not come back but it's the same with any job. You could leave one day for work and be killed driving to work or have some crazed person come in and shoot the place up. Life's not about the chances we lost but about the chances we are blessed to have taken....

Joined: 6/23/2004
Msg: 14
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guy off to iraq
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:42:58 AM
I don't think you were unreasonable. In fact, I'm in Afghanistan right now (Kandahar), and I understand very well what it's like to go away for extended periods of time.

As heart-warming as it may be to think that one can "wait" for the other and have a lot of hope for their future together, I doubt that it's realistic to expect someone to make such a commitment after only four weeks. And this is especially true if the deployment is to be recurring as every time he returns would be a great joy, and every time he goes back would be a great sadness.

I'm not saying it's not worth waiting if you believe in it but you were truthful to yourself in refusing to see him again. It's much better in the long run to "resolve" this situation (as cold as it sounds) now than write him while he's overseas, telling him you can't be with him if he's not there for you... especially since there would be nothing he can do about it, the only effect would probably be some mind-wandering, not the best thing to have if you're a bodyguard in a war-torn country.

As a matter of principle, I made sure not to get into any semblance of a relationship any time before leaving the country, it may sound harsh but I can't commit to such a long period away from someone without being sure that I will come back and want to hold her in my arms. Four weeks doesn't give you that kind of certainty, for most people anyway, and I agree with your choice 100%.

Thumbs up to you, miss. Sorry it didn't work out, hopefully for both of you, if you got along well, you will stay in touch and see how things wind up!
 The Artful Codger
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 18
Guy off to iraq
Posted: 7/6/2008 4:28:57 PM
War zone or not, there is nothing wrong with preferring to be in a relationship in which the other person is in the same city more than four months out of the year. And it's not like she can just pop down for a naughty weekend at the Ritz-Carlton every once and a while.

It is all about priorities...and he has established his.
In this day and age, there are lots of client protection jobs closer to home.

Do your thing OPoster, whatever your reasons...
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 25
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guy off to iraq
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:16:22 AM
Not unreasonable.Your looking for someone to spend time with.
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 31
guy off to iraq
Posted: 7/10/2008 3:48:24 PM
What OP are you just gonna go dis one of our guys over in Iraq? Oh, wait he's just a hired security guard ... that's cool then!

So, how you doin'?
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 33
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guy off to iraq
Posted: 8/13/2008 11:02:53 PM
You absolutely can not judge other people.
It's what's inside of YOU and what you need.

I tell people I am a true heart.
It means much to me, very little to them.

They don't know me. Not at all.
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 36
guy off to iraq
Posted: 8/23/2008 7:07:08 AM
Frankly - long distance relationships are fraught with difficulty. After a mere 4 weeks of dating, deep attachments haven't formed, (on either part) and there's little holding them.

I think she's right - if the guy isn't available, and that's what she was looking for, she shouldn't hang on hoping that things will work when he returns.

The same goes whether or not she's doing this because of the distance, politics or other relationship issues. If her views are that much different from his - whether they're fair or not - it will doom a relationship either way.
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