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 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 479
Do men like it when women contact them first?Page 12 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
msg603,

I'm 50/50 with who messeged first..
but at the same time..you either get viewed and no response back or you get a you're too old, too fat, too far, too tall, too something! ..maybe there should be canned "no thankyou" messeges so atleast you'd get an acknowledgement for your effort..be it male or female..
dusty
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 480
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:29:10 AM
A different site has a wink you can send if the person isnt interest they can just hit a "No thanks" response and you get exactly that a "canned" no thank you.

I found when I used that feature I would get an email (angry) asking why...I also found if I winked back most of the time they would never follow up with anything...so it was easier to wink back than to say no thanks...They had winked simply for attention.

I think alot of times people are just out and out bored and have no desire to actually want to get to know someone for a relationship..they just are lonely and want some attention...(needy). Those individuals make it hard for people who are seriously trying to find someone to do so cause you have to go thru all those hoops with them, which can be tiring before you can even start looking on your own. Yes I realize I can do the read/delete or just the delete but I do feel if someone takes the time and effort to write to me the least I can do is respond...unless they are offensive in their orginial message. At times I get behind and I just hate sending out the no thanks.

Lately I have noticed that even when I respond with no thanks in a few weeks it is the same person with basically the same spill again and I realize they have sent so many messages to everyone hoping that one person would respond that they dont even know who all they messaged....GUYS THAT WORKS AGAINST ALL OF YOU and is the reason alot of women do the read/deleted or just out and out delete.
 southernredhead
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 486
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:08:41 AM
What really is a pet peeve of mine, is when you write to someone with an interest, and they can't write back with a simple no I am not interested. Whatever happened to being chiveralis and classey? I mean if your on a dating site hopeing to find someone for whatever purposes, you surley will miss someone nice if you don't respond.

Then there are the no shows when you set up a time to meet. Whats up with that? I mean I could of been doing something else. Or you go out once with someone and then they never talk to you again. Again can't you just say you had a nice time but we aren`t on the same page? I mean say something. Don't do me like a mushroom and keep me in the dark and feed me BS.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 487
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/30/2008 4:11:09 PM
"A different site has a wink". I've been on a site like that, and I refuse to respond to winks or other icons. Hey, I take the time to write a message to someone who has caught my interest. I expect that much as well. Just seems cheap to me, I guess.
 Nancy54534
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 498
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/28/2008 2:41:04 PM
Well never know what you are missing unless you give it a try. Most guys will respond with a decent message. If they don't well maybe that lost courtesy might be a signal. The fallacy of women sitting twiddling their thumbs anymore is gone. Life is too exciting and interesting to waste time weighing should or not. Granted you might have to have some tough armour for some responses but learn to laugh and roll with responses(nothing else intended on that statement either!). There is the other that maybe the guy is shy or has been rejected so much he has retreated and repairing his heart and ego also.
 supersweetpickles
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 501
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 10/7/2008 7:34:50 AM
i am with you on this one. why can't a man just be a man and say "i am not interested". how hard would that be. we are grown up i know that we can take it. i wish everyone was on the same page as you and i. good luck to you. from what i have seen and talked to your going to need it. (lol)
 matchlessm
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 504
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 10/9/2008 5:22:15 AM
I like pursuing just fine. But it IS nice to get at least a pleasant response--assuming the guy's been polite, there's no good reason for a rude one. If the woman's not available or not interested, all she has to do is refer in passing to her fiance, husband, etc. We guys don't expect to succeed every single time we approach an attractive woman. As long as a good number of them show some interest in return, great. But when SO MANY single women act unfriendly and suspicious, it makes you less likely to approach them. Instead of being excited about the prospects and thinking "Wow, what if we hit it off!" you find yourself asking, "Why am I putting myself through this unpleasant ordeal again?"
 INWITHTHENEW
Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 506
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 11/24/2008 7:12:39 PM
I think its more of an individual personality thing for guys. I love the type that goes after what he wants but I realize some might need that green light from us. But after I've let him know I was interested and he still isn't initiating contact I gather that it's pretty safe to say I'm not what he wants and he's not what I require.....
 KraegarM
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 508
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 12/14/2008 9:42:14 AM
[ TheDirtyBen

Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 530

Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/20/2008 250 AM
Here's an interesting analogy......works with the site theme too.

If you are a fisherman/woman, what kind of fish do you want? I don't mean species, but qualities!

Do you want a fish that races along the outskirts of the pond, without regard for the other fish........leaving the rest in it's wake?
Do you want a fish that is active within the pond, gets along with the other fish but isn't afraid to venture out into the deep end of the pond?
Do you want a fish that consistently stays in the deep end of the pond and as close to the bottom as possible?
Do you want a fish that floats on the surface of the pond, motionless?
Do you want a lame fish that flops on your doorstep?


Your individual level of proactivity in your love life will determine what kind of fish you are able to catch.]

This I agree with. . . . . . . . . . and will add that In order to 'have' a 'thing', one must become that 'thing' in their own person.

KM
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 511
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 12/31/2008 1:56:25 PM
I find if a woman contacts me first, they are real, as opposed to game players, and attention seekers
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 512
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 1/2/2009 3:29:25 PM
I still like it when a lady takes the iniative to contact me. Even to just say hello and enjoyed your profile.
Thankyou to those that have in the past..
good luck fishing to you all
dusty
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 515
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 1/3/2009 5:19:03 PM

Life is too short to wait for a man you find attractive you contact you!

I contact any man I find attractive. How silly to not do that; they will never know, and unless they are mind readers, nothing can happen.


Thanks, Rossal. I for one hope that every lady on pof takes your advice to heart. It would not be inaccurate to say that every one of the lady friends I speak with on pof has contacted me first. Mostly from the bleacher seats, but hey, connections, like gold, are where you find them.
So, yeah, mind-reading is NOT one of my talents. Lol
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 521
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 2/6/2009 6:56:40 PM

Bigben; But how would she know if she were the woman who you would send an e-mail to if she e-mailed you first? That's just my point! Which is why I let men e-mail me first.


Right...we aren't mind readers...lol...and it is because of the men who say...yeah, email first if I think you are hot? (How are we supposed to know?) I have done it...it just rarely , if ever, works....
 Lucette325
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 525
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/5/2009 10:37:55 PM
I hope they do...
 my64bit
Joined: 12/10/2005
Msg: 535
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 5/12/2009 2:46:54 AM
It makes no difference to me, we are all on here to meet people. Your either going to like what you see & read, or your not. But if you don't hit up the ones you like, you will never know what the responce in return will be. Personaly, I do not often make contact, I work all week, I am gone allot on the weekends spending my time in the real world, I do not spend allot of time here. I will say that when I have made first contact, the responce rate on this site is probably less than 50%, thats ok though. I would rather if someone is not interested that they either just so no thanks, or not reply at all. There is nothing worse than getting hate mail from someone you have never met because you responded to the add they posted wanting to meet people. Dating is tough enough, internet dating is even tougher. Keep it simple, be real.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 540
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 5/25/2009 4:35:07 PM

please by all means....you will save me hours of profile screening and literally guessing who to email if you just message ME.


I completely agree. Hell, if you see me on the street, approach from the rear and goose me, I will still smile, probably more broadly than at a pof message, and greet you sincerely and warmly.
For those ladies who are hesitant to reverse the gender roles in this minute way, well, if your thinking is that high and tight, I'm probably not goin' get my bat on that pitch anyway, so do what you think is right, when you feel the energy is right. The only good conversations I have had on here, or had the opportunity to have, have been with women who initiated contact with me.
 Lone_Stranger
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 541
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:45:36 PM
I would prefer to be contacted first because I am afraid of women. One got loose and bit me



Yea, I can see your point.........lol

I also prefer the woman to contact me, especially if she read my profile first.........but for an entirely different reason......lol.
 niceguy53
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 543
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 6/30/2009 12:37:51 PM
HELL YEA GIVE ME A SHOUT
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 548
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/2/2010 9:09:27 AM
hell yeah I wish more would contact me,I think when a woman pursues a man thats very attractive an sensual to me.I can go after the gals myself but I think its sweet when they come after me too.
 Singleinlewistonidaho
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 551
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:12:18 PM
Contact the guy! He might not have seen you otherwise.

Mike
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 552
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 5:13:58 PM
I "like" it when a woman i'm interested in contacts me with a picture...no need to go there or explain further.
 Got Trance
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 553
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 5:17:00 PM
Yes. Well, I do.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 555
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 9:53:23 PM
Well, not having all 650+ replies you’ve received, I can only imagine that you’ve gotten a resounding YES to it being outdated and YES to men liking women to make the first contact!!!!

Don’t forget, we no longer live in a society with yesterday’s standards since, today’s standards are rather different.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 560
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 5:42:26 PM
Tuffluv..maxim models ?..why do women always assume such nonsense...however if maxim model means not fat then there are alot of women on this site who can rejoice in the fact they are in that league.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 562
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 7:21:19 PM
There is a difference in making the first move online vs real life. In real life, you have visual cues that let you know when a woman wants you to approach. You don't get any of that online. This is why guys on PoF like it when women make first contact. For the record, I'm in the camp that feels both sides should make first contact whether it be email or adding to the favorites list.


i guess i've been pretty lucky as many of the women who've contacted me i'd rank at 8 or better and my physical standards are pretty finicky

Pics or it didn't happen.
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