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 TammTamm
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 518
Do men like it when women contact them first?Page 22 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
Being the shy type I like when women make the first contact :D

Also when a woman makes first contact your at least guaranteed a response to that email you spent time and effort writing. Its always depressing getting a read/deleted without any reply =(
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 521
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 2/6/2009 6:56:40 PM

Bigben; But how would she know if she were the woman who you would send an e-mail to if she e-mailed you first? That's just my point! Which is why I let men e-mail me first.


Right...we aren't mind readers...lol...and it is because of the men who say...yeah, email first if I think you are hot? (How are we supposed to know?) I have done it...it just rarely , if ever, works....
 Lucette325
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 525
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/5/2009 10:37:55 PM
I hope they do...
 fishermansdelight
Joined: 1/23/2009
Msg: 526
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/6/2009 4:09:23 AM
Yes i think everyone likes it when someone shows an intrest. a lot of women look at my profile, now when i see that and contact they are more then willing to chat, so why not just send me an e-mail saying "hi i'd like to chat" in the first place.
 minako79
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 529
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 4/26/2009 10:33:57 PM
Normally, I would have been to shy to mave the first move but its the 20th century... Not to sure at my end if the guy would still be interested... Usually get the dreaded read/delete email though it's their loss not mine.
 my64bit
Joined: 12/10/2005
Msg: 535
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 5/12/2009 2:46:54 AM
It makes no difference to me, we are all on here to meet people. Your either going to like what you see & read, or your not. But if you don't hit up the ones you like, you will never know what the responce in return will be. Personaly, I do not often make contact, I work all week, I am gone allot on the weekends spending my time in the real world, I do not spend allot of time here. I will say that when I have made first contact, the responce rate on this site is probably less than 50%, thats ok though. I would rather if someone is not interested that they either just so no thanks, or not reply at all. There is nothing worse than getting hate mail from someone you have never met because you responded to the add they posted wanting to meet people. Dating is tough enough, internet dating is even tougher. Keep it simple, be real.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 540
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 5/25/2009 4:35:07 PM

please by all means....you will save me hours of profile screening and literally guessing who to email if you just message ME.


I completely agree. Hell, if you see me on the street, approach from the rear and goose me, I will still smile, probably more broadly than at a pof message, and greet you sincerely and warmly.
For those ladies who are hesitant to reverse the gender roles in this minute way, well, if your thinking is that high and tight, I'm probably not goin' get my bat on that pitch anyway, so do what you think is right, when you feel the energy is right. The only good conversations I have had on here, or had the opportunity to have, have been with women who initiated contact with me.
 Lone_Stranger
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 541
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 5/25/2009 8:45:36 PM
I would prefer to be contacted first because I am afraid of women. One got loose and bit me



Yea, I can see your point.........lol

I also prefer the woman to contact me, especially if she read my profile first.........but for an entirely different reason......lol.
 niceguy53
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 543
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 6/30/2009 12:37:51 PM
HELL YEA GIVE ME A SHOUT
 Zostera
Joined: 12/6/2004
Msg: 544
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2009 7:44:18 PM
I like women who are thoughtful, kind, and assertive - those are qualities of a well-rounded person.
 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 545
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/24/2009 1:12:46 AM
I completely agree with what you said about the "a man I met who told me he never writes to someone first cause women who write are so much easier to get in bed, they are showing they are more desperate". I joined match.com for a little while, had an awkward date with someone 6 years older than me. Guess I was feeling sick/bad . .I'm not sure. .either way, I should have rescheduled it. Anyways, we had the awkward date, and then never heard from him. Well, he started contacting me online, just to talk online, and kept asking things like how long it had been since I was intimate with someone, that I should come over to his house for one thing. And yes, I contacted him first. Maybe that's why I don't contact men any longer. The other one I met on this website didn't go so well, either. His idea of a date was complaining about his job, and telling me about the dates he went on before me. He must have thought we had a great time (don't know how he got that idea), because he couldn't understand why I didn't want to go with him and his buddy to a bar a couple of days later.
 Chuck65201
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 546
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/24/2009 2:13:54 AM
I do not mind at all but when they do contact me or we are in constant contact at least keep the contact going on their own initiative.

Most guys do not like having to keep the contact going all of the time.

I guess women do not realize that guys are on the go alot just like they are too.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 547
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 2/28/2010 1:09:17 PM
i was updating my profile and it dawned on me that every single 1st contact email i've ever sent since i've been on this site has never landed me a date. it never goes past a second email, if that. yet when females contact me first, i get a date about 50% of the time. that's why it's extremely rare now for me to contact anyone first. the numbers speak for themselves. when i do contact someone these days, it's only because i feel there may be something there on a level beyond just looks. of course, that's not for me to decide if things go any further.

so yes, i like it when women contact me first. otherwise my success rate on this site would be below freezing. i don't mind an assertive woman. i find it more attractive actually. the flip side is that some of the women who've contacted me were really just wanting sex all along. that's right, i can confirm that some chicks are in it for the same reasons as some men. after finding out her true intentions or if i determine she's not dateable or not a match, if she's worth the hit, i'll hit it. they don't complain, neither do i.

i live in a populated metro area so i guess that contributes to my being contacted 1st among other variables. i've learned that the way to know if someone is truly into you is when you don't feel like you're putting in too much or all of the effort. you'll WANT to talk to and be around her and vice versa. it'll be welcome and mutual. those profiles that don't say much or short emails that say practically nothing or don't show any true interest in you cuz they're not asking you about yourself, in most cases you already know what you're getting there.

if you question why anyone is emailing you first (unless it's an obviously fake profile), then something's wrong with you, not them. i lean towards that side of the fence where i appreciate someone showing interest in me, not that other side where a person gets defensive about it.
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 548
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/2/2010 9:09:27 AM
hell yeah I wish more would contact me,I think when a woman pursues a man thats very attractive an sensual to me.I can go after the gals myself but I think its sweet when they come after me too.
 Singleinlewistonidaho
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 551
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 4:12:18 PM
Contact the guy! He might not have seen you otherwise.

Mike
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 552
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 5:13:58 PM
I "like" it when a woman i'm interested in contacts me with a picture...no need to go there or explain further.
 Got Trance
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 553
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 5:17:00 PM
Yes. Well, I do.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 555
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 9:53:23 PM
Well, not having all 650+ replies you’ve received, I can only imagine that you’ve gotten a resounding YES to it being outdated and YES to men liking women to make the first contact!!!!

Don’t forget, we no longer live in a society with yesterday’s standards since, today’s standards are rather different.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 557
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/3/2010 11:36:32 PM
^^^^i guess i've been pretty lucky as many of the women who've contacted me i'd rank at 8 or better and my physical standards are pretty finicky. some actually are close to that Maxim model level you talk about. no such thing as a woman being out of anyone's league. i think we all know better than that by now. you display confidence, you can get any woman (or man) you want.

i peeped some pages of that article. being that it was a bar setting and the types of women being coached pick homeless men and don't realize it till way later, i ain't surprised at all at the results. some people are their own worst enemy. the problem is just admitting to what and who you are. you can't say you want a long term relationship but you're at the bar or club on weekends having one night stands or picking people who'll only stick around for sex. if you want a certain thing in a relationship, you gotta bring it to the table. that's how i look at it. those women are complete idiots. every metro area of that size is gonna have available singles. but if they have that negative attitude towards men and dating, blame everyone else for their woes, and keep picking losers on the bottom of the loser scale, guess what that makes those women? just as big of a loser as the guys they pick. goes both ways too. it ain't just a woman issue.

a woman contacting me doesn't feed my ego one bit. things thus far haven't worked out long term (some have as friendship) but at least they contacted me and i contacted back to see if there was anything at all there rather than read,unread/deleted. i do give it a chance if SOMETHING is there. if clearly there's nothing, i gently let things slide off in the email. interesting article though. can't expect much in a bar. i don't see how they don't understand that or didn't see that red flag. pua's ain't there to pick your life partner. they introduce good technique's, sure, but c'mon, the setting has failure written all over it. they ain't necessary to pick someone up at a bar.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 559
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 12:07:06 AM
^^^^you're here online too. i know why i'm here. never once denied it, never will. you sound bitter; taking some bad experiences you've had with SOME men and applying it to ALL men. that's the negative quotient i was mentioning. why not LEARN from those experiences and pick better men? no two men, or humans, are the same. you might be missing out on something good with someone if you're not giving them a chance cuz someone in the past may have jaded you.

that's what i'm getting out of dating. slowly but surely learning what i want that's gonna make me happy with someone over the long term. and if you don't have a rating system, that just tells me you haven't learned what it is you really and truly want. you don't have realistic standards set in place yet. i could be wrong about you cuz i don't know you but EVERYONE i know, in a relationship or not, has a rating system.

everyone objectifies everything. there's nothing on this earth that isn't exploited. even you can admit that. those people who fall into that 'grass is greener' category you mention will be single forever and guess what? that's just how they like it. if they didn't, they wouldn't keep doing it and wouldn't maintain that attitude. just so you know, i don't share that mentality. you're pretty quick to judge. whoever hurt you, here's some tough love: get over it. as long as any of us are single and dating, we're gonna have bad experiences till we find that one person who's gonna give us a lifetime of good ones. we've all been hurt. what sets us apart is how we cope. women are indeed collectors items to many men on here who just wanna fvck. you know this as well as me. so it shouldn't be a secret or a surprise if they come around. many women are on here for the exact same reasons as men. that's why both sides exist on this site and others. they feed the need for those people who want it. i don't. doesn't sound like you do either. a little more dating experience and i'll bet you'll start seeing things in a positive, realistic light.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 560
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 5:42:26 PM
Tuffluv..maxim models ?..why do women always assume such nonsense...however if maxim model means not fat then there are alot of women on this site who can rejoice in the fact they are in that league.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 562
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 7:21:19 PM
There is a difference in making the first move online vs real life. In real life, you have visual cues that let you know when a woman wants you to approach. You don't get any of that online. This is why guys on PoF like it when women make first contact. For the record, I'm in the camp that feels both sides should make first contact whether it be email or adding to the favorites list.


i guess i've been pretty lucky as many of the women who've contacted me i'd rank at 8 or better and my physical standards are pretty finicky

Pics or it didn't happen.
 kow626
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 563
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/4/2010 7:29:00 PM
Pics or it didn't happen.


lol. i ain't here to put nobody on blast by throwing out their username. you'll just have to take my word for it. and i'm a man of my word. just goes to show that looks ain't everything cuz here i am, still on pof with an active, unhidden profile.

tuff,
being that we don't know how or where you gathered that sample of 50 men, it don't count for much. i can go ask 50 guys i know and they'll all say they got no issue with women approaching IRL or contacting them online. 50 random guys, probably a diff story cuz they'll either answer truthfully or in a way that shines the best light on them in a traditional masculine role. not to mention who's asking them affects their answer too. you're a chick. are you surprised by your results? i'm not.
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 565
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/6/2010 11:06:03 PM
Actually I can't answer for all men, but know I like receiving an email, I enjoy switching roles in the bedroom or whatever....I like feeling we both desire each other.

As for men secretly like being the persuer...not sure, some might, maybe it was society that had something to do with this notion.

Personally I think both genders like attention, to be wanted, needed and desired and to be shown this.

I think that is a human traight
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 566
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 3/6/2010 11:09:12 PM

My experience is that while men say 'yes' go ahead and do it. Its mostly for ego boosting.


Personally I think its human to want to be caressed, touched, held, and to be shown the someone desires you, or wants you....and all the etc.'s we can throw in there.

Meaning men and women are no different in this respect...if it is otherwise, then its one sided. No one wants that.
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