Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Do men like it when women contact them first?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 sassie2759
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 551
view profile
History
Do men like it when women contact them first?Page 23 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
I have contacted several men in the past week or so and they havn't even responsed back and they have read the message. Men say they like the women to contact them first but, then don't even respond back so I think that is a two way street.
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 552
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 9:38:50 AM
msg603,

I'm 50/50 with who messeged first..
but at the same time..you either get viewed and no response back or you get a you're too old, too fat, too far, too tall, too something! ..maybe there should be canned "no thankyou" messeges so atleast you'd get an acknowledgement for your effort..be it male or female..
dusty
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 553
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:29:10 AM
A different site has a wink you can send if the person isnt interest they can just hit a "No thanks" response and you get exactly that a "canned" no thank you.

I found when I used that feature I would get an email (angry) asking why...I also found if I winked back most of the time they would never follow up with anything...so it was easier to wink back than to say no thanks...They had winked simply for attention.

I think alot of times people are just out and out bored and have no desire to actually want to get to know someone for a relationship..they just are lonely and want some attention...(needy). Those individuals make it hard for people who are seriously trying to find someone to do so cause you have to go thru all those hoops with them, which can be tiring before you can even start looking on your own. Yes I realize I can do the read/delete or just the delete but I do feel if someone takes the time and effort to write to me the least I can do is respond...unless they are offensive in their orginial message. At times I get behind and I just hate sending out the no thanks.

Lately I have noticed that even when I respond with no thanks in a few weeks it is the same person with basically the same spill again and I realize they have sent so many messages to everyone hoping that one person would respond that they dont even know who all they messaged....GUYS THAT WORKS AGAINST ALL OF YOU and is the reason alot of women do the read/deleted or just out and out delete.
 sassie2759
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 554
view profile
History
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:29:14 AM

I think we all fall into this, but not all men are the same, and we haven't elected an "official spokesman". So if guy A says " I like it, when women write first, and I always respond", and then guy B doesn't answer, it doesn't mean that guy A was lying or wrong.

True not all men are the same. and neither are women. Some men in the past have responded back and said thank you for the comment. You just have to pick and choose who you like I guess.
 mamadogsdaddy
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 555
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 4:34:19 PM
Hmmm I was going to send a direct email just to say , that In MHO as a man I would have been thrilled to recieve a first message from a gal with a great profile.....of course due to the great distance involved a relationship would not have much of a chance but then I noticed what I seem to be reading in other threads that perhaps just perhaps part of the difficulty is the settings encountered ...

Live within 75 miles.
Must not have messaged users looking for intimate encounters or sex.
You must have a picture to contact this user.
Must not be looking for Hang Out
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Dating
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner

Ok not trying to be a smart ass here...but I am looking for dating....must not be looking for Other Relationship ....what the heck is that anyway....some one looking for a lost cousin or something ? The Activity Partner Or Hang out ...ok I buy that one...you want someone or something to have activities with or just hang out ..buy a Dog .....of course I expect a Intimate Encounter at some point in the relationship...I think that one was pretty much covered in the looking for intimate encounters or sex thingy ......sure I too much perfer a photo......but some mind you some are either just not computor handy or live in such a small town they are nervous about being seen on a dating site , ie a local teacher....point is...after recieving and making contact these others can quickly be discussed by just asking "what are you seeking ?" Anyway....I promised to attempt contact by taking the chance three times a week...that was I am not disappointed every single day..
 TheDirtyBen
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 556
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 6:47:56 PM
An excerpt from my profile:
"BTW, If you have more mail settings than I do? You probably should quit clenching your buttcheecks so tightly, loosen up a bit, and have some fun! This is LIFE and you only get one chance at it. So, live it up and try to enjoy it!"

I'm sure this will get some people hot under the collar. I've seen the arguments on here b4.
But, I've seen LTR profiles where the person listed that they were looking for Intimate Encounter, but then checked the Intimate Encounter restriction! LMFAO!!
And, the 76th mile restriction REALLY chaps my hide!!
 TheFantasyArtist
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 557
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 7:28:39 PM
At this point a contact from extraterrestrials would be a welcome change,lol!
 Mi Cha El
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 558
view profile
History
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:48:33 PM
I like it when women approach me first. Makes me feel like I still got it. Actually, I still do, but it sags now.
 Resident Male
Joined: 9/6/2005
Msg: 559
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:51:50 PM

I like it when women approach me first. Makes me feel like I still got it. Actually, I still do, but it sags now.

They have pills for that.
 TheDirtyBen
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 560
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:08:07 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Plus pumps, rings, etc!

 southernredhead
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 561
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:08:41 AM
What really is a pet peeve of mine, is when you write to someone with an interest, and they can't write back with a simple no I am not interested. Whatever happened to being chiveralis and classey? I mean if your on a dating site hopeing to find someone for whatever purposes, you surley will miss someone nice if you don't respond.

Then there are the no shows when you set up a time to meet. Whats up with that? I mean I could of been doing something else. Or you go out once with someone and then they never talk to you again. Again can't you just say you had a nice time but we aren`t on the same page? I mean say something. Don't do me like a mushroom and keep me in the dark and feed me BS.
 ~pasky~
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 562
view profile
History
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/30/2008 8:21:39 AM
Gosh fantasyartist ^ I am thinking if an ET were trying to contact you they would be farther away then 75 miles. Geesh!!
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 563
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 8/30/2008 4:11:09 PM
"A different site has a wink". I've been on a site like that, and I refuse to respond to winks or other icons. Hey, I take the time to write a message to someone who has caught my interest. I expect that much as well. Just seems cheap to me, I guess.
 jcp21454
Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 564
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/4/2008 3:32:02 AM
I welcome e-mails from potential dates, friends or whatever. Otherwise, you may miss connecting here with the perfect Fish. Being old fashioned to some degree is okay. First make the connection and go from there. Jim
 fritzle
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 565
view profile
History
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/4/2008 5:11:05 AM
I am guilty of being shy about making the first contact. A bit old fashioned in that area. I guess it is important to me to know that they really want to talk to me. Sometimes if I have seen that they have looked at my profile but not written I will drop them a line but then I wonder why they didn't write themselves. Yikes, it's a tangled web we weave! LOL!
 oceanfront220
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 566
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/18/2008 7:16:23 AM
That is so true. Its a shame, because eventually, enough time goes past and he's interested in someone else, or she is and its a case of "woulda. shoulda. coulda". I guess I'm a bit old-fashioned too, although no one who knows me would ever call me that, and I sure wouldn't normally, but I rarely have made the first contact, and its definately time for that to change.. A little scary but think of the possibilities!!! Good luck to all of you--A
 nefarious101
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 567
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/18/2008 9:49:06 AM
Life to short to sit and wait for someone you might have interest in to contact ya girls. Get out there and make contact...most guys wouldn't mind. What kind of guy would he be anyway if he did?

I'm Nefarious101 and I approve of this message. <--A cheap attempt to drive up my poll numbers
 Passionate Gent
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 568
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/18/2008 12:57:21 PM
This is simply a social/cultural stigma in the U.S. There are various countries where women approach men all the time. Some of the women in Germany can be down right rude when approaching men

 breathe33
Joined: 9/14/2008
Msg: 569
view profile
History
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/19/2008 2:41:17 PM
Mmmm, men may like it , but from experience i've found
that if Imake the first move, I never really know it if he was realy interested or showing a little interest out of curtesy.
Suppose everyone is different.....
 CynthiaM
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 570
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/20/2008 1:39:27 AM

"A different site has a wink". I've been on a site like that, and I refuse to respond to winks or other icons. Hey, I take the time to write a message to someone who has caught my interest. I expect that much as well.

Agree. Whenever I received a wink I responded with the same level of effort - I hit the automated 'no thanks' button.

"The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. " ~Thoreau
 EricTheGreat1
Joined: 5/2/2007
Msg: 571
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/20/2008 1:47:37 AM
Do men like it when women contact them first?

yes.


what else can i help you with?
 MeereKat
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 572
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/28/2008 6:28:07 AM
Sure we do..!!
..as long as the 1st question isn't .. : "Will you attend Mass with me...??'
 ~Sunrise_Walker~
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 573
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:21:06 AM
Namats; I don't see anything wrong with that question as a first contact.
Wow! I've been gone for awhile and come back to find this thread still going!
I still think winks or flirts are a good way to break the ice and show an interest.

I started this thread under another name, but a rose by any other name is just as sweet.
 LMNTLMagick
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 574
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:54:45 AM
I think most (not all) men love women hitting on men. It makes a man's job easy and inflates his ego.

I don't do it.

Because prostitutes do this.

It is more than just being friendly.

Thanks but I'll wait, even if it is years on here for a man to contact ME. Whoever advances first and speaks first is the man. I want men to be men. But then again I wear 98% of the time skirts and dresses, not a pair of sweatpants in my closet and I don't play tackle football, never smoked a cigar when it was the trendy thing for women to do and I believe there are certain jobs only men should do. I think ERA and women's lib were the worst things that ever happened to women and the best thing that ever happened to men (sex without marriage, sex without commitment, no more 'women and children first' nowadays lifeboats would be filled to the rim with men pushing women out of the way so men could save their own lives first. Thanks a lot Gloria Steinem). I'm not that kind of girl. But more power to you women K.D. Lang's, Rosie O'Donnells and Ellen DeGeneris' who love to play the role of man and initiator when finding a person you like.

And one more thing: women's lib has devalued men. Nowadays a woman can buy a child and raise it alone so what does she need a man for? Nowadays women raise children with other women. And women's lib has devalued women: with laundromats, washing machines, restaurants, nannies and strip clubs....what does a man need a nice woman for? Both sides lose. So when a woman approaches a man a lot of men will think yes, she's being friendly, but many men think she is open to horizontal possibilities as well.

Thus leading to the modern age where everyone (including me) is mixed up with us not meeting people in normal ways because all our signals are mixed up. The rules of conduct have changed. No one knows how to be any more. I usually date foreigners just because they still believe the man takes care of and protects the women.....and as for equality....honestly, there's no such thing.
 She_Biscuit
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 575
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:34:55 PM
You bet, I’ll contact first. Old fashion values are good, but some are just that, outdated, because things do change. It is hard enough to find a profile to be interested in, so if you find one that spikes your interest for one reason or more, go for it. Most guys would be flattered and what do you have to loose but just not getting a response back. No biggie, time rolls on and bet your cards, you’ll get other responses back. Go for it!
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Do men like it when women contact them first?