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 onestarr
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 115
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Do men like it when women contact them first?Page 3 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
Mr Heel I would love to ask your wife how she REALLY feels about your attitude that is of course if there really is a Mrs. Heel !!!!! "Men" with that attitude toward woman should have expired years ago, as far as I know they wore animal skins and carried a club, I guess I am just shocked to think a "man" exists that is that OLD
 mulligan11
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 116
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:35:20 PM
You are so right, we are not mind readers.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 117
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:46:47 PM

I posted earlier about this topic, and I would like to chime in again (and Dusty, hope you will forgive me for stating something!) I had posted that I really had no luck making the first contact, and very soon after that, Dusty did contact me with the sweetest message! I replied to thank him, and I really did appreciate that. (Yep, if we were closer geographically...Dusty, you might be in trouble



...Hmmm, seems as though dusty was a busy boy that day ...just kidding (the devil made me do it)

For some reason contacting men first has never worked out for me....contacted a few as of late and guess what? only one e-mailed me back ....arrrgh

...maeflowers
 audacious39
Joined: 11/13/2003
Msg: 123
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/17/2008 7:05:21 AM
OMG very well said. If I am interested in getting to know someone a little better and having a chat, I will send the first message. I have found thou that the men who claim they are looking for long term are actually just looking for a "friend with benefits". I have yet to have any luck chatting to anyone who is true to their word.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 124
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/17/2008 8:28:10 AM

As has been stated many times before, I've all but given up making first contact due to a practically nil response rate. Having a woman show me she's interested does not, in my mind, mean she's chasing me - only that she's interested.


....Its too bad so many of us have been burned, it gets disheartening when the response is "read-delete". If someone is interested enough to contact me, I will always respond regardless.

...maeflowers
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 133
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:02:44 PM
On another site there is a feature where you can wink at someone....seems harmless enough..good way to let someone know you are interested. They even provide a no thanks if someone winks and you arent interested in them.

I would either wink back or do the no thanks...then I noticed that some that you winked back at you never heard another word from and they were just collecting winks ....

I see alot of very interesting men on here but I dont have the courage to contact them and I hate when they justify not contacting me cause someone else didnt respond...they didnt contact me cause I would have respond...

Don't ya just hate being on the receiving end for what others did? If everyone just showed manners and acted like adults how much easier this would be. Men say they are tired of rejection and women are saying..who rejected you?
 nevadaphil
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 135
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/17/2008 10:55:08 PM
I don't mind a bit!..............Shows a little "moxie" I kind of like that in a Woman!
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 137
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/18/2008 11:24:02 AM
I want the woman to contact me . I sent out 10 e-mails and 2 came back as " thank you but please keep fishing . " what is this .
 nostrings3771
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 138
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/18/2008 2:47:13 PM
i didnt read the entire thread ... but id like to respond to the original post ..... Hell yes ... men love that .. ......... and i wish it would take place more often ....... ladies feel free to pursue me.... i dare ya.. (grin)
 __moh__
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 139
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/18/2008 5:50:08 PM
Hi there,

U know it's really nice to see the majority of messages on here support a woman making an initial contact. To begin with, from a males perspective or female for that matter, it's lovely and flattering to receive a message that says your interestin to someone. And the next issue is simply this so called emancipated era in which a woman can do the same as her male contempories means that it's more than OK to take the bull by the horns and say hi to someone who seems interesting to u. Remember that people are coming onto this site to meet other people so who gives a damned who initiates contact because that might just be the life changing message. Good luck everyone. Mike
 Up4laughs
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 140
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/18/2008 5:54:23 PM
Hey.....2008........if we wait for life to happen, then........??? It's fine either way......R
 male.1957
Joined: 2/12/2007
Msg: 150
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/20/2008 5:50:43 PM
You never know what might happen. Can't hurt by contacting someone.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 153
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:40:07 PM

<div class='quote'>Personally I feel flattered when I am contacted first.


...You mean contacted first, but only from females living within 75 miles of you right?

And the wink button, I've been saying that since I joined PoF...it would make flirting a a whole lot easier haha

...maeflowers
 Sniper308
Joined: 10/21/2004
Msg: 160
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 12:05:17 PM

Do men like it when women contact them first?


Only if they've really read my profile. I'm pretty burned out on random number-generated contacts just for the Hell of it.
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 164
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:42:02 PM
MsMochaSweet,

You are neither wrong nor right. It all depends on what you are more comfortable with. My friend has no problems making a first move. For me it's a problem. I feel no romance if a man is not pursuing me. So, just listen to yourself and pick the way that is best for you regardless of what other people do or think.
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 165
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:27:15 PM
I actually prefer that women make the first contact.

Too often, I've had very rude responses, because I don't:
dress right, have the right car, live in the right neighborhood, have the desired skin tone, have enough credit cards, or attend the desired church.

I don't have a laundry list of qualifications that prospective friends must pass in order to talk to me.

I'm not looking for my "one true love" or a "soulmate" or someone who will "complete me," I am here to actually meet real people and expand my circle of friends. If romance happens, it happens.

My car is old, but it's clean, it runs reliably, and it's paid for;
I always shower and put on a clean tshirt and jeans before I go out;
my bills always get paid on time, and I don't invite dates to places I can't afford.

My picture on my profile is recent, it's actually me, and it isn't "posed;" it's what I actually look like.

And, oh yes, I'm not going to change my lifestyle, habit of dress or grooming, occupation, or place of residence, to impress someone who is expecting a Tom Selleck with a PhD in SDW (supporting demanding women).
 Novile123
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 167
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:59:43 PM
This is a good question. After much thought, I emailed someone, he replied! Was so happy to hear from me, flattered that I emailed him. We emailed back and forth, he gave me his number, asked for mine......never heard from him again!
Did not like the feeling.
I think guys have a hard time, putting themselves out there, sometimes, getting rejected, others no response. It made me see the other side a bit clearer.
For me, I will not make the first move again.
I like an old fashion type guy. I like it the old way. I enjoy the man to make the first move, I see it as a sign of confidence, also see it as he put himself out to do so, so I should respond in some form. So, if they don't contact me first, I will not feel I missed out. What I think, is that, the type of person I am looking for, will make the first move.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 168
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:07:29 PM
... I've made the first move as you did, no response , then I thought damn....I'm not doing this no more. It kinda feels like a slap in the face doesn't it? not to mention its very damaging to my self-esteem All these years you guys have had to make the first move....kudos.

...maeflowers
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 169
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:28:35 PM

I like an old fashion type guy. I like it the old way. I enjoy the man to make the first move, I see it as a sign of confidence, also see it as he put himself out to do so, so I should respond in some form.
I tend to agree with this. I have rarely emailed anyone I've had an interest in, but I have and I think only 2 times. (Other than forum members about what they've had to say in some posts rather than posting it on the thread and get put in "banned camp" for doing so. )

In any event I also agree with you *miabee44* that I see it as a sign of confidence and there's nothing more attractive to me than a man with a whole heap of confidence, that and a sense of humor.
 beaker49
Joined: 10/31/2005
Msg: 170
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:58:43 PM
Absolutely....If you see someone one you like...go for it and contact him.
What's the worst that can happen...you don't get a reply.
I'm attracted by women that know what they want and are willing to take a chance.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 175
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:23:40 PM
I've said this elsewhere...but, a friend asked me to give my opinion...

Some men like it, some don't..just like everything else..lol..

I have asked a man out...I have emailed first many times..I have been rejected quite a bit in my lifetime. It hurts, but that's not why I am hesitant to do it anymore. I figure rejection is a part of life, and when you have an obvious physical disadvantage, its going to happen. Heck, some of my supposed male "friends' have said mean things...

I don't do it much anymore because: I have found it is a poor indicator of interest on his part. I have had too many men accept for reasons other than true interest in me ( they were bored, nothing better at the moment, didn't want to hurt my feelings ( because while many women have trouble being the aggressor, many men have trouble knowing how to say no when they need too...)etc...)...and by the time I figure this out, I feel much more foolish and hurt than if he had said no to begin with.

I also find, for the majority of men in my dating "pool", they prefer to do the choosing..saves them having to reject someone , or dealing with someone they find really unattractive, or they are plain turned off by what they see as "aggressive" behavior from a woman. And really, as others may have said..if they are interested, why wouldn't they contact me?

Also..at the risk of getting bashed as usual from the PC crowd...I am one who really does not want to take on masculine traits or behaviors in the interest of "equality". I like men being men. Which includes confidence and willingness to go after what they want. And at least I know there is some interest of some kind when they do.

All that being said...I will still contact one on occasion if I find him really interesting, and he'd have no way of knowing me to contact...but, really, it still stands to reason..if they do read your posts, for example, or view your profile...if they were interested...wouldn't they say something? At least the kind of men I am attracted to...It just hasn't worked for me, even though I have tried it many times in my life.

Of course...realistically, my options are different than women who are younger, smaller, etc...anyway..somehow, I think when men say they like to be contacted..they mean by the women they find the hottest..not just any woman.
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 178
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/23/2008 4:37:20 PM
my last note on this topic,
I really don't think it matters who does the first flirt or wink or whistle..lol
If you are drawn to someone tell them, don't be the person thinking I wish i had said something or said hello..etc
I appreciate a lady showing interest and always respond whether there is an attraction or not..I've had many ladys read/delete without ever responding even to say no thanks..
This is not the 1950s and yes it's 2008 where women are allowe dto voice their wants and desires. Atfirst I thought it may even be a religious upbringing.
Unless you live in a cave, grunt for what you want or even have your head buried in the sand..women are more vocal than ever..and will certainly let you know what they want and if you cross a boundry.


Good luck to you all and atleast think about making that first contact..

Dusty
 Novile123
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 179
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/23/2008 5:51:11 PM
Sorry guys, I know most of you have mentioned that you would like the woman to contact first, or that you would respond, be flattered etc. All that is great.
I just know, now that I tried it, I really rather have the man do the initial contact.
I think like me, there are a lot of women out there.
It is just the type of men I would want, would do it that way.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 180
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Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:48:08 PM

Hmmm... I sometimes wonder if when I see who viewed me it is an indication they might want to chat?


Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't..depends on woman and circumstance..I have often wondered the same thing..problem is..there is no way to know for sure without asking? Obviously something we all struggle with a bit...(of both genders)
 seajaydee
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 182
Do men like it when women contact them first?
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:58:35 AM
It does not matter to me if a woman makes the initial contact, but I find it very flattering to receive an email alerting me that someone placed me on their favorites list, or by getting an email.
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