Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  >      Home login  
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 8
Looks Fade So Why Not Look At Who A Person Really Is.Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I'm in my mid 30's and have found it hard to find people who are genuine and take the time to get to know me.

Wait til you are in your mid-40s ~ I can assure you, it doesn't change. In fact, it gets worse and the dating pool becomes a thimble with a droplet of water in it.
~OT~ I think the term "shallow" has been well described here. I have to agree, it's not shallow to want to be desired physically and to desire your partner in the physical sense. I was recently having a conversation with someone and mentioned my age-old "want" ~ a face I never get tired of looking at. In old age, you still sees the face you fell in love with. Looks don't fade when you grow old together ~ that is timeless from what I hear. I won't settle. Period. The attractiveness factor has to exist or it's not happening for me. After that ~ the rest is even tougher to find. Substance. The deal-breaker more often than not. There are a million handsome/attractive/cute/etc., men and women ~ add intelligence, humor, morals/ethics, commonalities, interests, sexual compatibility, etc., etc., well ~ you've got to be patient and willing to be alone. Maybe for a loooong time! JMO
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 12
view profile
Looks Fade So Why Not Look At Who A Person Really Is.
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:38:29 PM
Ok, little bit of devil's advicate here...
What about people who go by what people post here on the forums?

I have found it to be a better way to get to know someone than their profiles. If you really think about it when you sit down to write your profile you have a blank slate and you need to come up with your own words.
When you write here in the forums you are responding to questions or bantering with other posters and your personality comes out better than anything you could possibly write in your profile.
The reason, when people reply to a post they're not tryin to attract a potential date. They are expressing their thoughts or opinions.
Seriously, check it out sometime when you read a post and get a chuckle or get ticked off by the poster, go and read their profile. Bet it doesn't match up...

Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 13
Looks Fade So Why Not Look At Who A Person Really Is.
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:41:35 PM
I don't care if looks fade, so long as they were once there to create a good memory of them...

And no its not shallow to want attraction (or money/status), its shallow to want it above all else and regardless of what it comes with.
Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 14
Looks Fade So Why Not Look At Who A Person Really Is.
Posted: 7/4/2008 5:35:39 PM
This coming from a woman that isn't bad looking by any stretch of the imagination?


So, is your hypothesis that people suck or that the desire for attraction sucks?

the giggleparts - I had a theory once... it left me to become the letter Q and stole my Perfect Strangers DVD box set... I feel this was for the best.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 24
Looks Fade So Why Not Look At Who A Person Really Is.
Posted: 7/7/2008 7:12:59 AM
^^^THANK YOU sentiments exactly.

People who complain in threads like this are just upset someone else didn't like them, and instead of realizing it's part of the process (and has been for years) they think whining about it publicly will help matters.

If I go on a meet and someone doesn't like me within 3 seconds...BIG they don't. Shit happens. Who cares? I chalk it up to dating and move on. People like what they like. It's not personal, it's life.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 26
Looks Fade So Why Not Look At Who A Person Really Is.
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:16:49 AM
Sounds like complaining to me...if you care enough to discuss it. It is what it is...

Online or off, there are rude people everywhere. I don't care if someone's rude, that's a reflection on them, not me - I guess I am just not so overly sensitive and I don't take everything personally.

If someone doesn't respond to me here, it's not rude - it's LACK OF INTEREST. They don't owe me an explanation. In fact, it's better not to get a response, one less person to keep track of. If I e-mail someone here and they're rude about it....who cares? They are complete strangers, they don't owe me's a mismatch, no matter how it happens. You just move on. Why discuss it?

There are a million people here, it's unrealistic to expect them all to be extremely polite. It's not gonna happen. The only thing you can do is change how it affects you, and stop taking the internet so seriously.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  >