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 TravelingHomebody
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 41
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Settling - A different perspectivePage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
To me, to "settle" means to give up on finding somebody suitable and to "make do" with somebody you don't really want, but you're afraid you won't find somebody else.

Everybody has shortcomings, but it's not necessarily "settling" to accept him/her with the shortcomings. Say, he's untidy, but you don't mind cleaning up after him and he's very thoughtful in other ways. Is that "settling"? I don't think so. Or you would love to find a guy who's musical, but you meet a guy who you really love who is a bit tone deaf. Is that "settling"? I don't think so. You'd been hoping to marry a college-educated professional, but this guy is a mechanic but he's everything else you've wanted in a man. Settling? No.

"Settling" to me would be something like the guy has something you legitimately would object to, but you're willing to put up with it because it's better than being alone. I know of two guys who would willingly marry me but I'm NOT willing to settle. The one has character issues, including gross insensitivity to his kids' needs. Yeah, he and I have chemistry and so forth, but I don't want a guy who is so oblivious of his own children. Another guy is decent and honest and a good father, but he's whiny and clingy, and I need somebody who may need support once in a while but who is overall able to cope with life. So I choose to stay single rather than settle.
 TravelingHomebody
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 42
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Settling - A different perspective
Posted: 7/6/2008 7:27:15 PM

For people to be so arrogant that they walk around acting like they are the perfect catch and that only the perfect catch will do in their life, is amazing.


It's not necessarily a matter of holding out for "perfection" or "are you good enough for wonderful ME?" It's whether or not you'll abandon your deal-breakers in order to just not be alone.

Maybe you want somebody who shares your faith. You give up and marry somebody whose own faith is so lukewarm they don't care what you believer or not. You have SETTLED. Or you want somebody who will be faithful to you, but you give up and marry a serial cheater so that you won't be alone. You have SETTLED. Or you are raising your children, and you marry somebody who hates kids and is always wanting them to stay at their other parent's home or with friends so he/she doesn't have to have them around. You have SETTLED.
 Durken
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 43
Settling - A different perspective
Posted: 7/6/2008 8:59:45 PM
WOW!!!.....I'm actually looking forward to a 38 and 39 year old men duking it out, neither has kids with one being a Christian and graduate degree and the other being an 'other' on both counts.

I'll get the hotwings, sodas, and first round of beer for everyone.
 Durken
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 44
Settling - A different perspective
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:01:53 PM
Whooops sorry...

Talking about mthom and son shine.......c'mon guys, get it on!
 MizQ
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 45
Settling - A different perspective
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:01:59 PM
^^I prefer vodka, please...
 Durken
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 46
Settling - A different perspective
Posted: 7/6/2008 9:30:00 PM
Of course, what else would you like with that hon:).
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