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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 34
Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?Page 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
People take this at different speeds.

Some "want" to meet quickly to see if there's any physical attraction and chemistry, evidently to gauge follow up interest, and if little or none is present move on.

Others want much more preliminary information before ever agreeing to meet.

It just depends on comfort level; there are no right and wrong ways to the process. The ultimate goal, at least to me, is to find compatibility. How one gets there is immaterial.

Personally, if there's "mutual" interest I prefer to meet as soon as possible. I'm rather sick of re-typing my life story over and over again or spending hrs on the phone answering the same questions, only to meet in person and know within a few minutes we're not compatible (and this revelation can come from "either" side, btw -- I'm definitely not arrogant enough to pretend I'm the prize). Obviously, this precludes distance dating, since most of us can hardly meet quickly if it means having to drive for hrs or schedule a plane ride?

As for initial interest, I really don't get that many messages on here, certainly not what nice looking women (or the ever-popular boob shot profiles) get? It doesn't surprise me, though. Dating itself is geared to pursuit=>catch, and guess what genders have which roles?

Mo
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 35
Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 11/17/2008 11:44:05 AM
That's where "mutual" compatibility comes in. You're obviously not attracted to all 1,000 contacts, right? Everyone has a sifting process (some more stringent than others)? And I'm sure most live too far away to meet, let alone date.

Now, if one is only on here for pen pals and talk (some certainly are), then the point is moot.

Mo
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 36
Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 11/17/2008 11:51:15 AM
I actually have a friend on another site, and they meet everyone that asks them out. Seriously, she's had about 50 dates in the last 3 months. She never gets past the first date though. She always finds something wrong with them and hasn't slept with any of them. She says now she has lots of stories to tell at parties. She's been divorced for over a year and really wanted to get back out there. LOL But I am the complete opposite. I take my time in meeting people. Different strokes.
 Fairwayman
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 37
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Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 2/16/2009 9:51:47 PM
Exactly!!

I have talked to a few women in the past that seem to have a fear of meeting fairly quickly if at all..... My only thought is that this IS supposed to be a dating site, and I dont really relish the idea of "dating" my computer. My opinion is if ya don't want to meet, join Facebook and get off of POF!!

Cheers!!
 Fairwayman
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 38
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Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 2/17/2009 7:41:38 AM
Wow Sexi Cali!

Sounds like a scary and very unfortunate situation. I guess my pov is coming from the idea of meeting in a public place, in order to ensure the safety and comfort of both people- especially the woman.... Most are still reluctant to do that :(
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 39
Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 2/17/2009 8:32:05 AM
There's no problem with chatting, emailing, phone calling for hrs beforehand -- if the approach is "mutual".

If not, if one would prefer to dispense with most of the indirect contact and meet face-to-face, and you don't, you have a choice to make -- either change your behavior and accept his/hers, or not.
 beautyshop
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 40
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Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 2/17/2009 10:47:40 AM
i would rather talk on the phone, but will say chatting does help u rule out wackos early on before mtg!!!
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