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 nikinikaia
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 78
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Well I sat down with her last night and we had a really long talk about EVERYTHING !!! No I did not tell her "I don't think your attractive" or anything stupid like that. We talked about our relationship, how we feel for eachother and where we hope things go and all of that sorta of stuff.... And I tell you what.... the way I felt when I left her house was priceless.... I just can not let her go because I'm not excited about the way her azz looks(and no it's not fat... she is not fat at all) ... So for some reason a lot of you will tell me I've screwed her up and I'm not being fair to her, but you know what she is crazy about me and i'm crazy about her.... so we are giving it a go... and we are not looking back.


Way to go!!! Being honest in a relationship will cut through so much crap and insecurity - proud of you that you cared enough about yourself and her to discuss the direction of your relationship.

 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 80
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:17:48 PM
Well, that's a happy ending to an otherwise ordinary and partially agressive thread.
 kenny1979
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 83
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:38:27 PM
Hey man, If she is very pretty and her attitude is wonderful and everything your looking for, and her body is OK but not perfect, W T F are you stupid, I'm picky but you are rediculous and she deserves someone better than you.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 84
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:12:13 PM
WELL, I am glad you two talked, but I just stumbled upon another thread you posted in earlier TODAY. Totally contradicted this whole thread. You said you weren't trying to date - that you'd given up - and that all women are shallow because they can't get past your picture! What's up with that? In fact, you've also said this in the past:

:I just looking for someone how can enjoy life and treat me right, cause that's what I want to do for her.... Always remember....looks fade and change... true love does not

WHAT?? Then you post this?
You'd be really stupid to let the woman you're talking about in this thread go... if there even is such a woman. Actually, I think she needs to leave you... things just don't add up.
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 85
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:24:44 PM

physical attraction is very important at any time, I want to still be chasing my mate around the table when I am 75.......because I will still be attracted to her, love her and want to touch and be with her

May not be able to do anything when I catch her but then I will hold her hand lol


gerrysuper, that is so funny....I'm visualizing you chasing this little ol' lady around the table just so you can hold her hand!!!! That is just the sweetest thing I've read all day!

I'm glad that op got his thing straightened out...I was going to suggest that he rent the movie, "Shallow Hal". It'll make you THINK! Most people get past that kind of thinking when they are in their twenties....but some don't.

~DC~
 Be_patient_Im_blond
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 86
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:29:09 PM
For me attraction isn't usually instantaeous. There has to be something else first. Sometimes I try to objectively analyze why I'm attracted to a particular person and I can't figure it out. On the other hand, a relationship can look good on paper and the other person is attractive, etc. but there's no chemistry. I believe you can sustain a relationship like that up to a point. In fact something might develop. If it never does, though, you may always feel like you're missins something and that can sour the rest of the relationship. Good luck.. Only you know how you feel whe you're with her.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 87
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:31:02 PM
Physical attraction only matters if you intend to have sex with that person.

There, easily solved!
 Gourmetchef50
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 88
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/8/2008 8:34:55 PM
Be careful Op..you got cyber-watchers on this site..and they will hunt you down for every tidbit of info u have provided.As to the others that said i was an insensitive jerk...bite me!!! I was only joking..as some of these threads are a barrel of laughs..as are the responses..
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 104
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:45:37 AM
Of course physical attraction matters! But its a personal thing too; I've been with women in the past who some would not consider drop dead gorgeous or classically beautiful, but they were certainly that to me. When you get to know someone on a more personal, intimate level, you see depths in them that transcend mere physical appearances, so that what one person might see as physically attractive another person would not. Its not always a case of simple empirical evidence or standards.

All that being said however, it still does come down to a point of, when she walks into a room, does the thought of seeing her naked turn you on. If the answer is no, its time to kindly part ways.
 superbadzzz
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 106
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/4/2008 1:49:44 PM
try not to end up 60 with your balls dragging the floor saying "she was everything but i blew it because her bra size was a C and i wanted a D."
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 112
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:51:15 PM
This is the time when you need to be a d!ck.
Yes a d!ck. Does she give you a hard on? Yes, problem solved. No, move on.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 115
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/8/2008 4:47:32 PM
You're likely to hear how shallow you are and a lot of other hooey.
But let's just for the sake of being kind be real for a minute.

If it's not there NOW it never will be.
No. It won't be possible to have a long and healthy relationship.

Why? Because it's already NOT healthy now.

You ask what you should do?

You should be real and be honest with yourself.
Something isn't there that you need to be there for the relationship to be good and to be real and it's not there.

Can you make it past that? You can fake it - if that's what you mean. But fake it forever? No.

And eventually what she's lacking NOW will just be one more checked box on a list of things not right about her.....

So....don't procede any further in a relationship you KNOW you aren't fully invested in 100% that's wrong, it's dishonest, it's harmful to the other person and since you KNOW it now, to me you're only compounding your role in being responsible later.

Tell her BEFORE you sleep with her that you're not into her body.
That way she can decide if the pain later is worth getting laid now.

And that is what this is about.

You may not like the bluntness of hearing it - but that's the reality.
She's a nice girl, You enjoy time spent with her, maybe you could get off ok with the sex even though her body you know up front doesn't turn you on....maybe you could fake it enough to make sex ok.....

Gee, that's what we all really WANT in a relationship isn't it?
 magnusfl
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 116
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/8/2008 4:57:16 PM
yes that should of been a red flag as it will bother you as long as your with her and tend to be more bothersome over time which will lead to wondering eyes for both of you as a lady is often feel only as beautiful as her lover see her as
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 118
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/8/2008 5:23:06 PM
Absolutely it matters to YOU. How can you not find your mate attractive? It does not matter what anyone else thinks of them but this is the person you love.
 bicep_babe
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 121
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:32:35 PM
Do her a HUGE fav. and cut her lose!!

I am VERY comfortable with how I look, I dated a guy(he is now on this site now, watch out ladies) He had issues with my body and how I looked. He had some BIG issues with my chest size to the point he'd make a big deal about and would tell his buddies how much it bothered him.

If she is starting to really like you....she'll be crushed to find out you don't have that physical attraction to her. If the pysical is not there, you'll never be truley happy with her.....if you not tottaly dig'n your chick..what's the point!!
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 122
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:41:13 PM

Should I be worried about it? would it be possible to have a long-healthy relationship if I'm not physically attracted to her


The answer is - maybe, but most likely not. But that's going off my definition of a healthy long-term relationship and that includes a healthy sex life. It's impossible to have a healthy sex life if you are not attracted to the person.

You may learn to be attracted to her, but if you want anything out of this relationship you and she need to talk and talk now. About where you both think this is going, what you need, what you expect and everything else. If you're both cool with how things are for now and willing to wait and see then you wait and see. But if you aren't on the same page you need to cut each other loose.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 129
WTF?!
Posted: 9/9/2008 8:12:50 AM
Posted By: BigDaddyJinx on 9/8/2008 706 PM
Subject: WTF?!
Message:




So guys, take a real good look in the mirror and be honest this time, and be happy when any woman gives you the time of day!





Pffft...whaaaaa??? Are you serious? What is that supposed to mean?



What the F*CK?!

I second that "Pffft" and raise you a hardy, from-the-toes-on-up WHAT THE F**K?!



Jesus H Christ, did I just read that right??? Men should be happy "when any woman gives (us) the time of day"?! Are you f**kin' for real?

Holy shit on a shovel...you have got the be, by FAR, the most self absorbed human being I have ever had the misfortune of bumping into, and I'm glad it wasn't in person or I'd hock a loogie right square in your narcissistic eye.

You unbelieveable, rude, arrogant (insert further profanity here at will).

Un-f**king-real.



At least she's up front about it. I think this attitude is the prevailant one amongst many women "that find themselves attractive." And many who don't.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 133
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/19/2008 3:19:37 PM
Maybe not to you but physical attraction means a LOT to me.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 136
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/19/2008 4:18:13 PM
Physcial attraction matters, how many times do you see posted on POF profiles, dont email me without a photo. If you like all the qualities that makes her who she is but you lack physcial attraction toward her, then consider her a great plutonic freind. You should let her know how you feel so you dont hurt her and hopefully you still can remain friends with her. Rent the movie, Shallow Hal it might have some insight. Then cut her loose so she can find a great guy who will accept her for who she is, body and all.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 137
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/19/2008 4:37:43 PM
This is a multi page thread - I may have already said this - pages ago.

Let me be the first to answer this question this way (or the 900th person)

"Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????"

well DUH ..............

Boy/girl (man/woman for you stuffed shirts) attraction is one of the main ingredients.

-attraction (you simple must want to (at some point) be naked with them - they must be desirable to you - and they must know they are
-like (BIG BIG DEAL you need to really like them and continue liking them for a long lasting union)
-respect
-similar values

Did I mention .... well DUH ?
 webweebil
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 142
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/20/2008 9:17:55 AM
There are lots of physically attractive men that I have no sexual attraction to as well. A person has to have a certain way, or look to them, in order to want me to let them come close. It's a matter of personal preference. I can handle a "diamond in the rough" over someone who's raw materials aren't there to begin with. It's nice on those rare occasions when the total package walks across your path, tho. Pun undecided.
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 143
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Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/20/2008 9:18:03 AM
You should quit seeing her. It would not be a healthy relationship. There are many fish in the sea!
 youforme
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 144
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 12:56:33 PM
Yes, If Your Not Attracted to Them, You Wont look at their profile, or Wirte to Them.
 the_write_stuff
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 148
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 8:07:25 PM
It may be superficial as hell and shallow as can be but it is what it is and what it is, is about connection. I suspect it's an inherent, innate bilogical factor. Chemisrty......conduit.....connection......current........electricity......that "it" factor. I have gone out with women who were fantastic people, great in every sense imaginable. But they didn't appeal to me on a physical level. There was no connection. I begged and pleaded, reasoned with all my might to my logic and my senses but to no avail.

I think it even goes a step further (or it did for me)--I could have probably began or stayed in relationships with such women if I'd simply been indifferent to them in regard to attraction but I wasn't even neutral or ambivalent; I was actually turned off by them in the physical sense. I tend to have too idyllic an image in my mind of the woman I want in terms of her physical attributes and I have certain quirks or oddities, in regards to certain features which turn me off (or on) and are deal breakers.

These are my issues and certainly not a woman's. I am trying to work on them and train myself to be more pragmatic and realistic this way as I am more than certain I miss out and terrific and fabulous ladies because of it. But I guess this was my very long-winded way of saying that yes, at least for me, it absolutely matters!! Sorry for rambling........
 the_write_stuff
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 149
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 9:46:12 PM
You provide a point to ponder but....I wonder......is there a distinctive difference? Can a person have a real (and lasting) chemistry or connection with someone they do not find physically attractive or appealing? Even given how great said person may be in all other aspects? I guess there is no definitive answer to that as only a lone individual could answer for themselves. I guess one of the truest "truisims" is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It really, really is.
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