Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 129
WTF?!Page 9 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Posted By: BigDaddyJinx on 9/8/2008 706 PM
Subject: WTF?!
Message:




So guys, take a real good look in the mirror and be honest this time, and be happy when any woman gives you the time of day!





Pffft...whaaaaa??? Are you serious? What is that supposed to mean?



What the F*CK?!

I second that "Pffft" and raise you a hardy, from-the-toes-on-up WHAT THE F**K?!



Jesus H Christ, did I just read that right??? Men should be happy "when any woman gives (us) the time of day"?! Are you f**kin' for real?

Holy shit on a shovel...you have got the be, by FAR, the most self absorbed human being I have ever had the misfortune of bumping into, and I'm glad it wasn't in person or I'd hock a loogie right square in your narcissistic eye.

You unbelieveable, rude, arrogant (insert further profanity here at will).

Un-f**king-real.



At least she's up front about it. I think this attitude is the prevailant one amongst many women "that find themselves attractive." And many who don't.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 133
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/19/2008 3:19:37 PM
Maybe not to you but physical attraction means a LOT to me.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 136
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/19/2008 4:18:13 PM
Physcial attraction matters, how many times do you see posted on POF profiles, dont email me without a photo. If you like all the qualities that makes her who she is but you lack physcial attraction toward her, then consider her a great plutonic freind. You should let her know how you feel so you dont hurt her and hopefully you still can remain friends with her. Rent the movie, Shallow Hal it might have some insight. Then cut her loose so she can find a great guy who will accept her for who she is, body and all.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 137
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/19/2008 4:37:43 PM
This is a multi page thread - I may have already said this - pages ago.

Let me be the first to answer this question this way (or the 900th person)

"Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????"

well DUH ..............

Boy/girl (man/woman for you stuffed shirts) attraction is one of the main ingredients.

-attraction (you simple must want to (at some point) be naked with them - they must be desirable to you - and they must know they are
-like (BIG BIG DEAL you need to really like them and continue liking them for a long lasting union)
-respect
-similar values

Did I mention .... well DUH ?
 webweebil
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 142
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/20/2008 9:17:55 AM
There are lots of physically attractive men that I have no sexual attraction to as well. A person has to have a certain way, or look to them, in order to want me to let them come close. It's a matter of personal preference. I can handle a "diamond in the rough" over someone who's raw materials aren't there to begin with. It's nice on those rare occasions when the total package walks across your path, tho. Pun undecided.
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 143
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/20/2008 9:18:03 AM
You should quit seeing her. It would not be a healthy relationship. There are many fish in the sea!
 youforme
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 144
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 12:56:33 PM
Yes, If Your Not Attracted to Them, You Wont look at their profile, or Wirte to Them.
 the_write_stuff
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 148
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 8:07:25 PM
It may be superficial as hell and shallow as can be but it is what it is and what it is, is about connection. I suspect it's an inherent, innate bilogical factor. Chemisrty......conduit.....connection......current........electricity......that "it" factor. I have gone out with women who were fantastic people, great in every sense imaginable. But they didn't appeal to me on a physical level. There was no connection. I begged and pleaded, reasoned with all my might to my logic and my senses but to no avail.

I think it even goes a step further (or it did for me)--I could have probably began or stayed in relationships with such women if I'd simply been indifferent to them in regard to attraction but I wasn't even neutral or ambivalent; I was actually turned off by them in the physical sense. I tend to have too idyllic an image in my mind of the woman I want in terms of her physical attributes and I have certain quirks or oddities, in regards to certain features which turn me off (or on) and are deal breakers.

These are my issues and certainly not a woman's. I am trying to work on them and train myself to be more pragmatic and realistic this way as I am more than certain I miss out and terrific and fabulous ladies because of it. But I guess this was my very long-winded way of saying that yes, at least for me, it absolutely matters!! Sorry for rambling........
 the_write_stuff
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 149
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 9:46:12 PM
You provide a point to ponder but....I wonder......is there a distinctive difference? Can a person have a real (and lasting) chemistry or connection with someone they do not find physically attractive or appealing? Even given how great said person may be in all other aspects? I guess there is no definitive answer to that as only a lone individual could answer for themselves. I guess one of the truest "truisims" is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It really, really is.
 the_write_stuff
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 151
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:23:16 PM
I don't believe your post was in direct reply to my own, as I never mentioned a specific woman, but I'm going to pay heed to it like it was. Your response was quite possibly the best one I've ever read on any given subject in these forums. So wise, mature and transparent as to how you yourself love; unconditionally! And that is so rare....in fact one becomes so jaded they don't even truly believe unconditional love exists.

Your post also provides several pearls of wisdom (at least as they pertain to me personally). It never dawned on me until you said it yourself--I felt about these women as if they were a sister. I admired them, respected them and even liked them; but I did not love them. Perhaps it was a matter of chemistry or physical appearance......whatever the reason, it felt more platonic than romantic (at least on my part).

And the very last sentence of your post is perhaps the most profoundly wise bit of advice ever shared. And that goes both ways.....a man becomes better in every way when loved by a virtuous woman!

Thank you......
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 152
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:57:24 PM
Here's my two centavos:

I had the exact same thing happen to me. However, when we did get down and dirtay, as they say, it didn't matter. To tell you honestly, I was more happy I was turned on than anything else... Hey, the little guy actually perked up even though she's not a supermodel.
So you can get past the visual.
Of course... I did have another experience when I could not get past the visual. And this was because when we were groping around, I knew where things were supposedly were, but dang -- I kept touching fat where I thought the right parts ought to be... It was very confusing.

If it's just a small imperfection, it shouldn't matter.
Good luck!

 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 153
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:09:16 AM
Yea, get out tastefully-I would never tell her that was the reason, but you're dooming both of you to a nasty breakup or bouts of unhappiness...
 goergieporgie
Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 155
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/1/2008 1:47:40 PM
trust me bud, if she didn't find you physically attractive she'd have cut you loose long time ago. don't quetion it....pull the plug.
 myhoney4u
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 158
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/5/2008 12:14:14 PM
It is not right if you are not attracted to her physically....women are connected to a man for many reasons...and like to make love as a completion and emotional connection a display of their love...............be kind and let her go.
In answer to your question...yes...it matters.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 159
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/5/2008 12:26:18 PM
They have a word for people you love, but aren't sexually attracted to... Friends.
 matchlessm
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 160
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/5/2008 2:38:55 PM
Her physical attractiveness is important enough to you that you brought it up here, and it's not likely to become less important because of what anyone tells you. You'd be better off, and so would she, if you told her as thoughtfully as possible you'd like to date other women. And avoid discussing the real reason, if you feel that revealing it would hurt her unnecessarily. You have as much right to see someone else as she does, and neither of you needs to explain their reasons in detail.
 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 166
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/5/2008 10:07:41 PM
Heh, I love those extreme case points people try to make.

There's a big difference with bald chemo chicks or 1 legged dudes VS. people who decided "now I'm married to this person I'm gonna eat donuts and stop hitting the gym cause if they dump me for gaining 100 pounds, they're just shallow."

Believe me when I say this, there's reasonable and there's insensitivity.

I have to work hard to be like I am in my pictures there, I'm in the midst of some serious excercise. I don't plan to stop because i *got* someone, whoever dates me has gotta understand if they're a bad influence or never excercise I'm gonna look sh*tty and I can't let that happen.
 illcype
Joined: 10/3/2007
Msg: 170
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/6/2008 1:01:38 PM
I know i definately have to be attracted to ALL of her ...physically and mentally to have a long term relationship.So i would say get rid of her man.
 Gumbo_YahYah
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 174
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/25/2008 11:12:08 PM
Physical Attraction Matters to everyone,,,

Anyone says any different is spending too much time being an armchair Psychologist..

or Basically Living on another Planet......

It's Step One..


Gumbo.......
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 179
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/26/2008 5:55:39 PM

to me...absolutely. this is one of the main reasons i wanted out of my marriage. i did not find him physically attractive. shallow? maybe.


Not shallow at all.
Its not like we flipped a switch and make a conscious decision to be attracted or unattracted to certain looks, its the way we`re made.

For me, its number 1.
I wont ask a woman out unless I am attracted to her physically.
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 181
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/26/2008 10:01:23 PM

ok let me add this.... I know that I'm not perfect and I am not looking for someone that is perfect. I can and have excepted her for exactly who and what she is... I don't want her to change .... I just want to know if it is possible have a healthy long lasting relationship with her if I do not think she is a super-hot-sexiest-thing-I-ever-laid-my-eyes-on..... is it possible??? I want to be with her, we both make each other really happy... I just want to know if this relationship is doomed or not????


Whether it's possible or not is completely up to the two of you. However, I'd like you to ask yourself these questions:

1. How important is sex to me in a relationship?
2. How important is sex to her in a relationship?
3. Can I keep it up long enough to satisfy the both of us?
4. Could I be happy for the rest of my life, knowing what I know about how I feel?

If you can honestly answer those questions to yourself, you should have your answer.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 185
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 10/28/2008 4:30:03 PM
Oh yes! Gotta have the ZA-ZA-ZOO...the chemistry, animal magnetism!
 124Lilacs
Joined: 7/17/2007
Msg: 198
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 6/24/2009 10:44:45 AM
Yes, of course it matters! I don't see why, however, that you have to say goodbye to her. It sounds as though you really value this woman and don't want to end being with her. It sounds as though she could become one of the best friends you have ever had. Why let that go, without giving it a shot? Tell her, in as positive a way possible, what your feelings are. She may tell you goodbye, but it's also possible that she values your friendship and isn't necessarily attracted to you either. And - try not to feel bad about not being attracted to her. I don't think that's something we have very much conrol over. Either you are - or you're not. It's not a judgement against the other person or their appearance.
 anglophile artist
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 200
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 6/28/2009 12:24:45 PM
I agree--physical attraction is very important. Initially it can be the deciding factor. But, it is a mistake to use that 3 second gut feeling to determine where the relationship goes--or even if there IS a relationship. Maybe this is just a gal-thing, but things can change for the better as you know a person and physical attractiveness starts to grow as the person inside becomes more and more attractive to you. Not sure if this works for men, tho. Comments ?
 Gumbo_YahYah
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 201
view profile
History
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:18:20 AM
You said she doesn't turn you on...
If you didn't like pickle,,,would you get it on your hamburger???


Not meaning to be too technical,,but, don't eat something you don't like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >