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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!      Home login  
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 STH III
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 25
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Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
a drunk is a drunk is a drunk. I have an uncle that has lost everything and he is still buying a bottle anything money is jingling in his pocket. He was an idiot, you are really a nice looking woman and sounds like you have a good heart. Write to me sometime.
 supernovastunnah
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 26
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:39:30 PM
whats so great about life over 50 anyways.
yay back to diapers and having no teeth.
 boisegoodbadboy
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 27
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/6/2008 10:54:45 PM
Alchoholism can be a very powerfull disease


that alcoholism is a disease is one of the biggest bullshit lies promoted by aa. until they can give me proof of this...which they have never been able to do to this day to substantiate and clearly document this claim..its garbage. but then..what else can one ever expect from a hiccup head but twisted 'truths' and lies...

good for you op for dumpin' the drunk..

al-anon is another joke. they too have some really perverted psychology. ive seen sick people go into those rooms and leave sicker than when they came in. this program was started by an alcoholic (from guilt i guess), so how can one ever expect mental health when you have the blind leading the blind and the first blind doesnt even have eyesockets???
 NoseyNeighbor
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 28
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/6/2008 11:50:30 PM
I met my ex b/f on this site 2 yrs ago,all was good,then after about 2 months I noticed he had severe drinking problem....why are some so selfish and cruel?


Reads like the poster child for co-dependence. Oblivious to additive behavior before getting married, maybe the physical proweness overemphasized in the profile compensated for potential DUIs and innocent highway deaths.

Profile says "widowed", post says "probably die" ...just ended a 2 year marriage. Sounds convoluted. Reads like a hoax.

And to top it off, it's selfish and cruel. That's laughable.
 kgrl08
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 29
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:02:07 PM
I have to clarify one thing I didnt know much about alcoholism,and when I first met him,didnt think much, it was just beer,this is Florida,its hot,men drink beer,and he was a functioning alcoholic,even though he didnt work,got disability,he wasnt what I always thought a drunkard was,he functioned,and at times quite well,it got progressively worse over the next 2yrs,he got to point where he drank from time he woke up til bedtime and then always had a beer in his hand,the things we did had to involve drinking or alcohol being involved,at one point I even tried to drink with him,but couldnt,after much time and now I see enabling,I got away and he continues the same pattern to this day,just replaced me with another....
 Gourmetchef50
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 30
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:07:28 PM
Its an addiction..no different than any other..(incl. cigs)..some ppl. quit..some don't...
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 31
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/7/2008 12:46:40 PM
You had your warning shot across the bow at 2 months. You should have abandoned that ship back then.
 kgrl08
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 32
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:27:56 AM
Again,I did not know the effect alcohol has on a person,and in the beginning,it wasnt heavy drinking,it became progressively worse,yes,Iam a widow,but my late husband did not die of drinking thats for sure! and when the ex got to point where he stay in house day/night and drink sun up to sundown and then into the wee hours,and I was forgotten,is when all the trouble began,you cannot win an argument with a drunk,nor can they ever show any compassion or love for you,I learned the hard way,the addiction takes hold and doesnt let go...
 NYCLEGEND
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 33
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/20/2008 1:06:54 AM
Yes I have. The bottle of wine and vodka won over me. I still have flashbacks of some of the terrible things she did and said to me.
 DaveB951
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 34
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Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:46:13 AM

Alcoholism is an illness

I respectfully disagree. Cancer is an illness, arthritis is an illness, multiple schelrosis is an illness, migranes are an illness. Alcoholism and being a drunk is a choice. One can wake up and say no more, enough is enough.....

Peace
 Lynny Lou
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 35
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 7/30/2008 8:58:44 AM
Wow, can't remember ever reading these things but I have to respect the different opinions. I am opinionated to say the very least so I just have to give my two cents. I worked in a behavioral health unit and I have worked in the men's prison system for 6 yrs. The problem with all the labels society has put on people's addictions is that it has given them and they're loved ones excuses for the bad behavior. I cannot tell you how many inmates explain away their crimes with their addictions and labels. Example: Dr. I have ADHA or ADD, I went off my meds and self medicated with meth and that caused me to steal the car, the lady's purse and checks/credit cards, rape, ect. ect. When my son (who is now 33) was 12 or so they told me they thought he had ADD and wanted him on meds, I said forget it. I figured he was smart and bored so I bought him a base guitar and he moved to phoenix at 19 to play hard rock, he has told me many times he loves that he has what they call ADD because he can work 75 hrs. a week at his job, play in a band a few nights a week and maintain the pool and yard at his home and still have play time. Labels, they are people's excuses to do the wrong thing, like let others raise their children, mooch off the working person, and lay around on disability. I am not opposed to disability for someone who has worked and came across some hard times, but, to get it because of drugs and other addictions I draw the line. My father was what they call an alcoholic and compulsive gambler, and after 30 years of putting up with that garbage, my mom finally said enough is enough, and guess what...daddy quit all of it, cold turkey, no meetings or meds or nothing. He decided his family was more important. An addiction? Bull...its all about choices. I am almost 51 and for years I jumped on that soap box and said my drug of choice was food, gave me my excuse too, no, I just like good food, and I made a choice to loose 40 lbs, its a stuggle and I'll never be a size 5 but I like who I am and I won't make excuses or let anyone tell me I need to fit the mold. Sorry this is long but its my first one and I wanted to add my ...5 cents... it turns out.
 KatBallou
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 36
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 11/6/2008 10:06:13 PM
Should be careful what you say. Know that ex of yours, and she was not tossing stuff around. You cheated on her for a whole year. You tossed beer in her face and also stood up to her and raised your arm to hit her. She moved out the next day.
Also your first ex wife was contacted and more was filled about the whole YOU.
Also the second ex wife of yours had a restraining order to what the first ex wife of your said.
The cops were contacted, and the whole story was told to them. They checked on the restrain order. She left in one week because of your violent behaviour.
You show a different you around other people.
If you want a relationship to work then don't cheat every moment you have, don't have hookers on the side, don't go to doctor visits constantly to check you for STD;s
Be careful to what you post. It will always come back.
She use to ask why your daughter could never stay over at your place, now that must make one wonder.
She never bothered you, she was only trying to warn other females about you and our STD problems.
 KatBallou
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 37
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/1/2009 7:03:51 PM
KH8,
Funny, to what I heard you tossed beer in her face and then rose your fist at her. She moved out one day after that action by you. She also put up with a lot of cheating in your part, but then your two exes did also....lol Calling the cops too ended up a funny story, too bad they don't check out the truth when one complains. Put what you want in print, we know what happened...lol Too bad your little brain can't remember the truth...lol
Yes look towards the future, just hope you don't find a liar and cheater, they are the worse...lol
 Clint7979
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 38
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/1/2009 7:15:07 PM
Just walk away and don't look back.
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/1/2009 8:24:46 PM
regarding alcoholism being an illness , pull it up on google , any medical journal , it is a progressive desease , , an alcoholic is always an alcoholic even with many years of sobriety ..... to say wake up and stop , . from my years of study , not the case . 1 in 10 drinkers are alcoholics , partially genetically , partially an extended period of habit . the desease can be controled , easy to criticize ....
 Rob the blob
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 40
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/1/2009 9:56:03 PM
You cannot save anyone who does not want to be saved , would the situation be any different if he said yeah I have a problem, I stopped drinking when I had had enough, I knew what I was doing and didnt care
you have to look beyond the drinking
One thing people do not consider is that we who choose to drink, enjoy it ,and will stop when it is no longer fun
 janus20
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 41
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/1/2009 10:51:45 PM
Alcoholism and selfishness go hand in hand
 i_hate_bugs
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 42
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/1/2009 11:06:46 PM
rockin, alcoholism is just a symptom of something else. if you do further research, you will see that most alcoholics/addicts are narcissists. one guy i met is a former alocholic and he has narcissistc personality disorder. these people drink because they're in a pain or have deep seated emotional problems. it's not a disease. the reason why some people never fully recover is because they didn't look at the underlying problem. these people need therapy and lots of it.
 LonestarStar
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 43
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/1/2009 11:21:28 PM
regarding alcoholism being an illness , pull it up on google , any medical journal , it is a progressive desease ,


Wrong. Guess who came up with this little lie? Alcoholics Anonymous (backed by the AMA). Why? Because the legal system was responsible for alcoholics before AA came along, and they couldn't handle the burden. Solution? Push it off onto the medical community! The decision wasn't based on any biological proof whatsoever.
On top of that, there's absolutely no proof that it is "progressive." In order for it to be truly progressive, you must be able to predict that the problem will get worse without treatment. Some people will get worse if untreated, but not everyone. Many people quit on their own, many people go through temporary periods of sobriety, and heaviness and dependence varies throughout the course of alcoholism. Not to mention that as the above poster said, comorbidity is pretty common - and that is often the real disease.
From my "years of study."
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 44
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/1/2009 11:39:18 PM
~OT~ Addiction is what it is. I've been with one obsessive hunter (completely addicted including the lying that goes on with addiction) ~ one obsessive skier and I actually met two drunks from here (not relationships ~ I figured that out rather quickly.) I'm going back to the bar scene, at least I'll be prepared for what's likely coming my direction. (You can't fix another person and you can't love them better, once you realize these things, it's wise to just move along. No good comes from addiction/obsessions. Just a lot of heartache. No thanks.) JMO
 sweeetface
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 45
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/2/2009 5:07:00 AM
kgrl08,

I have experienced similar..selfishness and cruelty? This person has an illness(alcoholism) and it has NOTHING to do with you(or that woman for that matter), it's the alcohol! They are sadly 'not happy' and do not 'care enough' or 'love themself enough' to put that drink down and re-organize their priorities. I'm sorry you encountered such, but remember-it's an illness NOT YOU! It's his problem, NOT YOURS..IT's a hard endeavor to experience. Just my opinion of course.
 funksoulbrutha
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 46
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Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/2/2009 5:43:08 AM
If alcoholism is an illness, why can't I call in drunk to work?
 Bob_49
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 47
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Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/2/2009 6:28:46 AM
How strong is the love? First, most people with drinking problems do not believe they have one. If you really love the person you will love and support them both through loving and caring as well as tough love. If you can see the person within you can help by believing in them and helping them to believe in themselves. If the person recovers they will be different and the relationship may fade from that, it will definitely change. True love will take that chance. They can't do it alone.

Secondly, most people will tell you to get away from the person. Now you have to really look in your heart..... It will never be the same if you go through the process. In good ways and in hard ways.

Live, laugh, love. Life is good.
 sweeetface
Joined: 12/19/2008
Msg: 48
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/2/2009 10:25:14 AM
I do agree with u there Bob!! IF the love is strong enough..in my scenario, the guy totally pushed me out of his life....he really chose it, so much so-that it ended up being a huge divider(I have kids and such to think about too-not just ME)...I guess it depends..like if you are already in-deep with the person/married, etc..and then this happens, you have a bond/form of love... I do also agree with what you are saying about what most people will 'tell you to do'..I never listen to 'most people' when it comes to my social life..i'm more mature then that..but u are right, most people would say that!! A person has to take a step back and look into his/her own heart and and discover 'how deep their love is' or if it's 'real' love(Not just infactuation or lust, etc.)....yes, I agree difficulties can arise out of this(hard ways)-but could be a change for the BETTER(go0d)<<----especially me being the optimist i am ;-).
 silky tesoro
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 49
Met my ex on this site,turned out 2 be a drunk!!!
Posted: 2/4/2009 10:29:53 PM
Message 38 and 39, you have a screw loose. You are going around ranting on almost every thread talking about the same thing over and over. When you start naming names, there's a chance you win a trip to banned camp. Get over it ! You aren't even on topic.
OT
OP, it's so hard to know what a person is all about right away. Taking your time in getting to know someone over a period of months may never reveal the true personality either. I always say, go with your intuition, it never steers you wrong.
Next time you know what signs to look for. Good luck in your future fishing.
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