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 darkeyes67
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 3
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Did anyone have any success with following The Rules? Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
T'is a SEXIST, useless piece of trash. I can't believe anybody with an IQ bought that literary piece of trash! Who says women can't be sexist pigs like men?
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 4
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:08:31 AM
this book should be ground down to mulch! Its fertilizer! if a girl is unavailable either does nto return my calls or e-mails or is too busy I will eventuallly (quickly) give up and move onto the next girl who shows interest or is willing to get together. I'm often busy with school but not so busy or so self important that I can't have the decency to return a call in a timely fashion of a a day or 2. The thing is men go for convenience!

Is the man going to pursue a woman who plays mind and cell hpones games hanguing up when he calls. Or is busy for weeks on end. am I supossed to spend 3 hours making ice cream or drive 10 minutes tot he store and get myself some good Haagen And Jerries! playing hard to get may make a guy want you more until he quickly relaizes that you are not worth the trouble. As you say hi and walk away from him at the bar the girl sititng next to him asks him if he'll buy her a drink. Next thing you know they are dancing, then they kiss and Marty Mcfly disappears....FOREVER!
 PURE-Energy
Joined: 9/13/2007
Msg: 6
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Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:35:20 PM
I do have to agree with liquid405 ^^^^

I love books. I strongly discourage burning ANY literature. "The Rules" is on my narrow list of exceptions.


Go buy the book Fahrenheit 451: Ray Bradbury













DO i need a hair cut?? out Snake
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 7
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:09:24 PM
Reading a book giving advice and having rules are two different things IMO.

Sometimes there are decent books that aren't well titled. I haven't read this one, nor any regarding relationships or dating, I wrote my own "book" which is what I've determined works for me.

Other people's ideas and opinions are just that, it's not they don't have merit but you have to realize it's based on their life experiences, their standards and boundaries. If there were one book that was 100% successful you'd have to be a mirror image of the author.

I don't discount books altogether, the secret is knowing what to apply and what to discard. Getting other people's POV has value, but is rarely totally "on the mark". It's up to every person to decide what suits them and what doesn't.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 8
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:21:24 PM
Just because someone is divorced doesn't mean they are clueless about relationships. We learn by doing and sometimes we learn as much by not having things work out as we had expected as we do when things go as we think they will.

I'm not defending this person I haven't read her book or know anything about her. Neither one is ever likely to happen. I do know many people who have been divorced and I don't immediately discount them as being a "relationship failure".

If you ever read the bios of famous people who made history, many experienced failure before they were successful.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 12
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:59:17 PM
For the most part I think books like that are written for people with so little backbone they can't walk upright. In an effort to teach people to respect themselves a little more, they instead came off as manuals for either turning on or alienating the opposite sex.

I don't think they were meant to be followed to the letter, rather they were meant to better center those who were extreme cases of doormat.
 isoU
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 14
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 7/8/2008 10:32:16 PM
Only works if U have something to offer. Most women today ONLY have sex to offer and that is easily obtained from others.

I would never chase a women unless she was:

1. From a good family
2. Wealthy by her own means
3. Gorgeous
4. Unobtainable for other men
5. Sweet, Loving and Caring

Since that kind of woman does not exist and even if she did she would never accept me so why chase a fantasy.
 BrownEyedLeo
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 15
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Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 7/9/2008 9:58:26 AM
I feel that would be no different than playing mind games with someone. I don't want that done to me and I would not do it to anyone else. How can "The Rules" be the same for everyone anyway? All of us are different with different wants/needs/desires. Why would I want to "pretend" to not be available to someone I am interested in ? What works for me is to be myself and not follow someone elses rules who has no idea who I am and what I want out of a relationship.
As to the comment made by msg 36 I would hate to think a man thought so little of me that all I had to offer was sex.
 Ticketoride
Joined: 6/3/2004
Msg: 16
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:10:50 PM
Basically the book is pretty much telling girls to be unavailable and make the guy chase you.

The Problem with any of these Books, regardless what Advice is given, they get you into a State of playing Games, how to respond, what to say, which way to maneuver. If she plays others, others will play her. What comes around goes around.

It becomes a Strategy, "Your Move Now" Tactics, the Plotting of Actions to "Get them to". This has more to do with Acquisition & Conquering than with Love & Life, where the naturalness of the "Real You" has been lost, sabotaging your Mindset into that of a Schemer.

You can walk all over these Books by simply sitting back and immensely enjoying yourself with the Company you are in. All the Pieces will automatically fall into Place.

"Reading into Things" is for those who haven't got the Nerve or Brilliance to ask, and will usually find themselves in a Stupor and State of Confusion about just about anything.

Marketing for these Types of Books usually targets the Unknowing and the Confused, and if they can con you into believing they have the "Inside Track" whether true or false, they make you part with your Money.
 spiderette
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 17
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:05:37 PM
books like that are based on well-studied human psychology. people always want what's just slightly out of their reach (applies to both genders). the caveat is: if it's too far out of reach, people will give up and move on (and, hence, some of the posters who say they'd just walk away). very, very simple!

btw, those rules will work for a while and the presumption is by the time one gives up those rules, the relationship has already been well-cemented and no longer the need to "play hard to get."

op: yep, those rules will work (assuming you're not looking way, way out of your league). the catch is you have to give the other person just enough positive reinforcement that he/she doesn't give up, yet not so much positive reinforcement as to appear easy to get. easy to say, not so easy to execute.
 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 18
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Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:26:08 PM
Damn straight! My ex's friends gave her that book to read-she went on the warpath and went wild, (maybe not from the book per se but it allows somebody to develop a standard that may be unrealistic)-not in a relationship, but in bed w/other guys! So much for "The Rules." Stupid is as stupid FOLLOWS. Be yourself, cut someone some slack, you both might be very happy! By the way-they told me the above unpertinent info, but it does add color, flair and is my right! Ha!
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 19
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Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/2/2008 1:14:27 PM
From what I can see, "The Rules" are just the female equivalent of "The Game". It's just how to be a female player, a femme fatale, that always keeps men interested, and always keeps things on her terms. But mostly, it's all about learning how NOT to be a doormat.

The only problem with being a doormat, is that being a doormat, is NOT about how you treat the other person. It's about how you think of yourself. Effectively, you are reacting to what others do, because you believe that what THEY do has far more effect on your life than what you do. So The Rules changes that from the OUTSIDE. SOMETIMES, that does change what you do on the inside. But when it is a very ingrained habit, then it just becomes rote.

It's like putting "No players" on your profile. All it does is attract players.

You really have to change how you see yourself on the INSIDE, and then you change what you on the outside automatically.

Read this one instead, I heard it's pretty good

Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives
http://www.amazon.com/Stupid-Things-Women-Their-Lives/dp/0060976497
I read a quick summary of this book. It seems to make it clear that the reason that women have so many problems in their life is because they lack self-esteem. To be honest, with every chapter I read, I was reminded of a few very attractive women who got used, again and again, and with each chapter, I was mentally ticking off that they did everything described. Probably a very good read. Also explains exactly why so many women feel the need for The Rules.

I definitely feel that many women need to read a book. But they need to read a book on how to develop healthy self-esteem, and good self-efficacy. It will all flow from there.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 20
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Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/3/2008 1:12:09 AM
That book is garbage. I 've read a dating book which was written by 3 educated bachelor gentlemen it is a good book too bad, I forgot the title, and this one by Leil Lower How to make any one fall in love with you. Good Luck, Vannili
 purpleskye
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 21
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/3/2008 5:19:51 AM
I bought the 'Rules'. What a waste of money. I believe it would only work if a man met you who fell in love with you at first sight. Otherwise forget it. Men these days are not into running after the woman. They will quickly move onto someone else.
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 22
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/3/2008 5:57:50 AM
Well, what's the most hilarious aspect of "The Rules" is that one of the authors, Ellen Fein, got a divorce not shorty after her book came out. DOH!
 Gr8Poet4You
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 23
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/3/2008 6:14:17 AM
"THE RULES" is required reading for sisters of the "Teasers Not Pleasers" sorority.

I read it cuz I'm a strong believer in the saying, "Know thine enemy". In the movie "Patton" starring George C. Scott, there's a memorable scene where the American army led by General Patton is battling the German army led by Field Marshal Rommel. The American army is kicking the German army's a$$. As General Patton observes the slaughter, he screams, "Rommel....you magnificent b*stard! I READ YOUR BOOK!" If you look very closely, you'll see the book General Patton has clutched in his hands is "THE RULES".

Vito Corleone said it best... "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 24
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:06:32 PM
"when it comes to people, the only rule to abide by is "the golden rule"" Totally agree with that!
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 25
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/4/2008 7:54:06 PM

The only thing wrong with that statement is the one that plays by the golden rule is always the one that gets "played", the minuate we are marked as that type of person the others think" bingo" !!!!


It's sad that you seem to hold such a jaded perspective and outlook. Following the golden rule doesn't make anyone a doormat. I have and will follow the golden rule up to the point that someone proves they're not deserving of being treated like that. In my life experience, there is no "always", that's far too simplistic.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 26
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/5/2008 9:04:23 PM

I had recently purchased "The Rules" which is a book of dating advice. Basically the book is pretty much telling girls to be unavailable and make the guy chase you. Has anyone really followed the rules? Was it sucessful? Just curious if it really works.


The only thing that book did was make the author rich. I'm shocked people still read things like this like they are the bible of dating.

If there are rules it means that all people dating think, feel, and react the same which is obviously not true. Just be you and do the right thing.
 _jay_see_
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 27
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/17/2008 11:33:45 PM
Maybe us guys should read it so we can get inside your brains!
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 28
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Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/21/2008 3:23:54 PM
Ah yes, the rules, a book for women with no brains that cannot think for themselves. And for men who want those women, just read the book, and work around the rules. All folks that want to manipulate their mates. They deserve each other.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 29
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/22/2008 6:41:45 AM
I had recently purchased "The Rules" which is a book of dating advice. Basically the book is pretty much telling girls to be unavailable and make the guy chase you. Has anyone really followed the rules? Was it sucessful? Just curious if it really works.


These "dating rules" are questionable at best and flat out stupid at worst. What works for one person may not work for another person. There aren't many "rules" that generally apply to all people or dating situations. Maybe unless you are mentioning something that is blatantly obvious.
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 30
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/29/2008 1:12:41 PM
It's probably a good book for women who essentially hate and distrust all men and want to manipulate one..

simplistic "rules" to manipulate a man's emotions..

sure, sounds like a good way to find a 'loving' relationship..NOT.

from what I heard of it and saw interviews with the authors, it is for money-hungry gold-digging women - how to be 'successful' in snaring a rich man into marriage..
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 31
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Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 10/29/2008 9:48:40 PM
The author of "The Rules" is a frustrated old spinster who wants all womankind to suffer as she is suffering.

Well, what's the most hilarious aspect of "The Rules" is that one of the authors, Ellen Fein, got a divorce not shorty after her book came out. DOH!

My point exactly.

HER: No, it is still expected for the guy to pursue the lady, it shows that he is interested

Pursuing is one thing; but not returning calls for days/weeks or playing the games as post10 said ...

Is the man going to pursue a woman who plays mind and cell hpones games hanguing up when he calls. Or is busy for weeks on end

... then the woman is not worth the effort.

ME: good luck however. it was nice knowing you

HER: Ok high and mighty, nice knowing you and good luck in the future

She has the audacity to call you "high and mighty" when she's the bitc.h sitting on her high-horse throne??

HER: So I have been out with 4 other guys too, what is the big deal, this is all about meeting someone until you find that right person. But in finding that right person it is important for them to know and understand you, you apparently can't, and are to closed minded to understand how I date, there is nothing wrong with the way I date, all the ladies at work date the same way

Talk about closed-minded. If her mind were closed any tighter, her brain would implode.

Oh ... she dates that way because all the "ladies" (read: future spinsters following in the footsteps of "The Rules" author) at work does the same thing. Brilliant!! Shows how much thinking she does for herself.

ME: yep and most men hate to do all the work in a relationship. Thats fine for the first few meetings/calls, but after a bit there is nothing wrong with the lady making the occasional move

Exactly ... the guy doing the initial pursuing is OK, but if she's unresponsive, the guy may simply interpret that as not interested and moves on.

For the most part I think books like that are written for people with so little backbone they can't walk upright

That would be called an invertebrate ... otherwise known as a worm. Good description for women who read and apply "The Rules" like the Ten Commandments.

A female friend of mine lent me "The Rules" and I finished it in an hour or so - it's pretty light reading

Light reading because it's geared towards small minds.
 EdwardPartSix
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 32
Did anyone have any success with following The Rules?
Posted: 6/21/2010 9:21:36 AM
I haven't read the book. I looked at their website, and it seemed ok. Basically - be a confident person who believes in themselves, and a man will want to ask you out. This is true. There are other stuff that seems more like filler than real advice, but overall the theme seems ok. They are pretty clear that the roles should be men chasing women, and if you don't believe in this, then clearly the book isn't for you.
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