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 MajorThomas
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 20
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Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
If you're a hot guy, most women don't care where you approach them.

I would imagine most guys wouldn't care either where a Hot babe approached them.

Basically is there physical attraction? if there is approach! The signs are pretty obvious when someone sees you and is interested.
 Mrblackromance
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 21
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/9/2008 12:30:21 AM
I pretty much will walk up to a women I am interested in anywhere. I usually walk up to them and say excuse me, I can tell from the reaction where I go from there.

If it is not a negative reaction. I usually am very straight forward and say, I couldn't help but notice your hair, eyes, walk or whatever it is that has attracted me to them. I will then ask if they would like to get a jamba juice or mocha and have a chance to get to know each other.

Works extremely well at both my gym and the Borders down the street. The worst I get is thank you but I am not interested. But almost all of the ladies appear to be flattered by the attention.
 sara-bi
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 22
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/10/2008 1:57:41 PM
Why should a woman care where she is approached? I'm still waiting for the memo that says the right man will ONLY approach you when YOU want him to
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 23
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/10/2008 6:22:44 PM

(out of Midol I suppose lol).


OP, I think that line will win a girl over no matter where you go.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 24
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Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/10/2008 7:55:52 PM

Not if I like him, no..


Honest comment of the thread right there.
If a guy is attractive enough he can approach any woman anywhere and it's okay.
Now uglier guys well they aren't supposed to talk to women... ever. :)

That aside, I've been told it's not ok to approach a woman when:
She's at work.
She's shopping or running errands.
She's at bar or otherwise out with friends.
On the bus, train, plane, etc.
Basically any place that isn't a 'dating' event, and even then it's sketchy.
I've even been yelled at by women for holding the door open for them after I passed through it.

Msg #12.... That's the very reason I've become more reluctant to stop and help any woman under 50 years old.

This society is rather sick and needs help IMO.
 Frankycadillac
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 25
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Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:04:40 PM
there is a device here in NY that has changed catcalling and approachability forever. its called an ipod. if a girl wants to be left alone, she clearly states so with her ipod in her ear.

Quite handy for men and women.
 Caper143
Joined: 8/2/2007
Msg: 26
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:12:34 PM
I think you can meet anyone at anytime as long as you are open to it. All a guy has to do is watch a girls body language to know if she wants to be approached or not...we're not that hard to figure out. For example...if we are wearing sweat pants with our hair up, no make up and our mind is obviously pre-occupied....then we are probably not interested in doing anything other than the task at hand.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 27
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:19:52 PM

there is a device here in NY that has changed catcalling and approachability forever. its called an ipod. if a girl wants to be left alone, she clearly states so with her ipod in her ear.

Quite handy for men and women.


Is only 60% effective. :)

Even running with ipod, I have been stopped many time.
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 28
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:35:31 PM

I've stopped going to the butcher section of my grocery store because the butchers won't stop flirting with me. It absolutely pisses me off. They juggle (um, ew), try to be witty, give me extra portions after they've weighed and then wink at me, ask me what my name is, ask me what I'm doing over the weekend and wonder if I'd like some company, etc. Stop eating my time and give me my meat! Guys doing stuff like that triples the time it takes me to run my errands. I don't mind the compliment of being found attractive. I mind my time being disregarded.


Oh, God, this is so annoying! There are three different restaurants near where I work a turkish place, a sbarros and a grill/salad place. I've had to stop going to all three for the same reason. I'm pretty good natured about the flirting and all, but they all have this idea, if they don't give you your order then you're stuck there and you have to put up with this sh1t longer.

Just what every girl wants in the middle of a stressful day.
 logicalnonsense*
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 29
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:44:01 PM
I don't care as long am I'm not at work. When I'm there, I'm all business. I work with the public, but I'm not getting paid to socialize on a personal level.


I've even been yelled at by women for holding the door open for them after I passed through it.


Sorry that has happened to you! I've heard that from men before and I think it's awful. I can't imagine why a women would get upset at such a polite gesture. I hold the door for men and women all the time. If one yelled at me for it...I'd probably attempt to slam their fingers in it! How RUDE
 Frankycadillac
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 30
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Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/10/2008 9:44:40 PM
60% thanks for that bit of info. :)

a new york percentage might be different. have to be pretty either way
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 31
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/11/2008 9:59:11 AM
Honest comment of the thread right there.
If a guy is attractive enough he can approach any woman anywhere and it's okay.
Now uglier guys well they aren't supposed to talk to women... ever. :)

I can see you were joking by the smiley, but it's not that cut and dry - I know this because my friends think guys are attractive that I wouldn't notice if I hit em with my car...so "attractive" is only measured by the woman looking at that particular time.

AND in my case, I approach men I like anyway. So if I don't approach, then I'm not interested.

That aside, I've been told it's not ok to approach a woman when:
She's at work.
She's shopping or running errands.
She's at bar or otherwise out with friends.
On the bus, train, plane, etc.
Basically any place that isn't a 'dating' event, and even then it's sketchy.
I've even been yelled at by women for holding the door open for them after I passed through it.

I'm with Ember on this...if you approach and generally chat and don't take a whole lot of time when you see someone's obviously on a mission...then that's cool. There are some of us who are in no rush and browsing, and those are the times you can really talk to someone. Honestly if more men talked to be friendly and I didn't get the feeling it was all to score in the end I'd chat more openly in the course of a day. I've second guessed that many times and done so only to get asked out. Sigh. I might go out with a guy who doesn't pounce on a response so quickly.

If I see someone I like, I make conversation. Regardless of where unless it's REALLY inappropriate.

Msg #12.... That's the very reason I've become more reluctant to stop and help any woman under 50 years old.

This society is rather sick and needs help IMO.

I kinda do agree with that.

Is only 60% effective. :)

Even running with ipod, I have been stopped many time.

I know, right? WTF...granted if a man catches my eye, I will take the ipod off and make sure he knows its ok...but dead in the middle of a routine - sheesh! It's dangerous to flag someone down at a heart rate of 180 and ask them anything.

I once had a machine maintentance guy stop me while on the elliptical to give me specifics of the machine I was on and tell me he had just tuned it up. I was thrilled...lost my zone, but it was really important to him that I know.

Speaking of, three times in the past week while I was stretching a man came over and asked me (deaf to the ipod, press pause, say "huh?") whether or not I needed a mat to stretch on that was nowhere near me and I wasn't using for at least 10 minutes thus far. In the gym, there's a free mat - take it! If I need one, I'll wait for it/grab another mat.

I've found smiling whilst ducking my head, avoiding their eyes, waving frantically in their general direction and scurrying away quickly works. The only way a person can really stop me when I'm wearing my iPod armor is if they physically grab me, and that won't end well for them.

True...I bring a book/mag AND use my ipod...that seems to help, usually. It's more for not being bored on the hamster wheel, but it does repel most from chatting.
 Frankycadillac
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 32
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Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/11/2008 1:54:50 PM
depends on the approach,
it surprising how many pretty girls like super-aggressive ***holes
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 33
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Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/11/2008 7:55:42 PM

I think you can meet anyone at anytime as long as you are open to it. All a guy has to do is watch a girls body language to know if she wants to be approached or not...we're not that hard to figure out. For example...if we are wearing sweat pants with our hair up, no make up and our mind is obviously pre-occupied....then we are probably not interested in doing anything other than the task at hand.

So what about the woman who works at the grocery store that I go to who tends to have her hair and makeup done and wears skin tight clothes? Tight enough that her shirt follows the texture of her bra like it is embossed in the shirt. What sort of signal is that ? :)


I can see you were joking by the smiley, but it's not that cut and dry - I know this because my friends think guys are attractive that I wouldn't notice if I hit em with my car...so "attractive" is only measured by the woman looking at that particular time.

It's more cut and dry from the guy's POV. A guy begins to clue in over time if he is in the 'allowed' group or not. It's just a matter of paying attention to the trend. If it takes a 100 approaches to find the one that wanted to be.... well...

AND in my case, I approach men I like anyway. So if I don't approach, then I'm not interested.

That's a good thing.

Honestly if more men talked to be friendly and I didn't get the feeling it was all to score in the end I'd chat more openly in the course of a day.

Because of the negative reaction / wall that gets ingrained / built because of the more aggressive men those of us would just be friendly end up out of the game.


WHEN IM OUT WITH MY BOYFRIEND. my god, ive actually had a guy
come sit at my table when my bf left to go to the washroom, not only is that
rude and disrespectful you might even get your butt kicked!

You might find this amusing. I've had so many women who were out with a guy give me signs to approach I've learned to always hold back. I'll see a woman looking at me... smiling, etc... Then I'll notice the two glasses on the table or some other clue she's not alone. I hang back... then the boyfriend/husband/whatever shows up. The last woman that gave me positive signs to approach her was at a book store. I held back... she seemed to be with this guy... I watched her to go to another part of the store but on the main traffic isle. I decided to get closer... then I see there's the rock on her finger.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 34
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:19:42 PM

ok and if you are at work or class...he cant meet you because???? I hope your soulmate isnt the one trying to meet you there


Apparently OP you've never heard the expression, as crass as it may be, you don't p**s where you sleep? Same for dating...many companies have instituted strict policies about this. I know people who have gotten transferred out of a division because of that. Plus, if things go bad, do you REALLY want to see that person at work or in class all the time? No...you don't.

As for your original question, as long as it's not 1) a dark alley, 2) in the ladies bathroom or, 3) on the job, you can approach me. I've met guys at a coffee house, restaurant, grocery store--not saying that we clicked in the end but if you approach a woman with a smile, not a grimace or stalker face, and act geniunely interested, we're good.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 35
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:57:44 PM

I do NOT want a man approaching me in the women's bathroom in a bar, ( he was dressed as a woman!) or any bathroom and it wasn't even Halloween!

I couldn't drink that pretty.

Not that's funny sh*t!
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 36
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/11/2008 9:28:24 PM

Lol, I attempt to engage anyone (guy or girl) in a conversation when I am on the treadmill/elliptical/bike if I am not pounding hard.


Is okie, but there is reason I use bike in far corner of room 12 bike away from any other person. :P
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 37
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/11/2008 11:15:04 PM
Awesomeman, thanks for once again living up to your name. That was some beatnik shit that just cheeta'd across the page. No surprise that you're a Ferlinghetti fan.
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 38
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/12/2008 10:20:42 AM
Corporate douche or not, awesomeman should get a cameo in the next iron man/batman/hulk summer blockbuster. The cheetah knows how to fling the text.

(And all emo appropriations aside, I am also "waiting for my case to come up. And I am awaiting a new rebirth of wonder" just like the man says in "a coney island of the mind")
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 39
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/12/2008 12:02:45 PM

I've had mixed results with my random conversations on cardio equipment, some people seem put off by it but a lot of people really get into it and tell me they enjoyed the conversation.

You know what? I would enjoy the conversation too if it were just random and meant to kill time on the treadmill (althogh honestly I can barely keep my breath, let alone talk when I'm working out). Unfortunately every conversation I've gotten into with men in the gym turned into some sort of "hey how you doing, are you single?" conversation. Sucks when you just want to work out, be friendly and then go on your way.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 40
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Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/12/2008 4:21:47 PM
The "normal" place for a man or a woman to approach is in a social setting. The gym, the store, gas station, people aren't there to be "social" but to take care of business. If someone approached me at a gas station (it's happened) or grocery store, gym then I tend to think they're desperate and don't have much of a social life.

I'm friendly and I'll chat in line or in a waiting room with a man, woman or child. It's not the same just something to pass the time.

I used to take my 21 y/o son with me nearly every time I left the house. Then he got a girlfriend...

Approach whoever you want wherever you want, just don't expect them to be welcoming. A friendly chat is just that, not an expectation to be hit on.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 41
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/13/2008 3:34:12 PM
Is worst last week when two guy in van drive beside me to talk. I think it was good time to stop running beside road and go through park. :)

Guys please be aware of how you appear. My heart rate is high enough when I run. :)
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 42
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:04:08 PM

Why do you think girls do their hair and make up before heading to the gym if they're "only there to work out"


Obvious, those girls are not there to work out.

I would never wear make up to the gym, no one who plan to sweat would.
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 43
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Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:12:46 PM
If a man is bold enough to approach me in public, I'm okay with that. What gets me, is the manner in which he chooses to approach me. It can be anywhere... The fuel island, walmart (if hes lucky enough to find me at such a place), the grocery store, the rodeo, the chrome shop, the truck wash, a feedlot, etc...

It's all in his presentation whether or not it would go from just a simple exchange of "hi", to something more...

The one place I'd NOT like to meet a guy would be the ladies room. If theres a guy in there, I think I'll pee in the bushes...

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 44
Do you really care WHERE a man approaches you?
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:23:09 PM

If a man is bold enough to approach me in public, I'm okay with that. What gets me, is the manner in which he chooses to approach me. It can be anywhere...

This is true. I remember when a guy walked up to me in a department store one evening, told me that he found me very attractive and wondered if I would consider going to coffee with him. He was very polite about it, but the part that really turned me off was when he said that he was very, very lonely and it reeked of desperation. I realized that it took incredible courage for him to approach me, and that I was flattered (it was one of those days where I was feeling blah) but I had a boyfriend, which was the truth.

It is all about the approach and not saying inane things.
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