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 flyonthewall!
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 90
Married menPage 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
^ ^ ^ ^ If it is, then you haven't picked right. I had no problem remaining faithful. I was married over 27 years and would have picked to remain with him another 27 years if the fates had allowed.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 91
Married men
Posted: 7/16/2008 3:59:53 PM
If I find out anyone I end up meeting or dating on POF is actually maried - or otherwise committed - the gloves will come off and his wife/significant other WILL be found and told.

What she chooses to do with that information makes absolutely no difference to me, whatsoever. But I refuse to aid and abet a lying cheater by keeping his secret safe for him. That will never happen.

OP, I respect your decision not to tell the wife but I'd be happy to do it for you.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 95
Married men
Posted: 7/23/2008 9:34:55 AM

So what every woman on here is saying is that a married man cannot be on her without the intent of getting laid.

Unfortunately, experience has shown us that this is the case about 90% of the time.


If that's the case then why the different headings of what we are looking for?

Be that as it may it is still first and foremost a dating site. I don't know about anybody else, but I wouldn't go to the hardware store if I needed a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread.


My wife refuses to talk a lot so I find other people to talk to. Honestly I would rather talk to a woman than a man. I have even met a few (2) women for a drink after work and never engaged nor tried to score.

But if you just want to talk to someone, there are a gajillion websites/internet portals that offer message boards, chat rooms, discussion groups, fora...and pretty much every nonsexual topic of interest has these venues.There are "social networking sites like MySpace,etc.
Let me ask you this...what if a relative or friend walked in to wherever you were having this platonic drink and informed your wife?

My 12 yr marriage is unblemished and while I am on here, I am no cheat. Talking will only go so far, it takes to people to have sex. Nobody has yet to ask why married men come on here in the first place, its all speculation on your parts.

No, it's not speculation, many of us have direct personal experience of either having a married man lie about his status, or men who are truthful about being married but portray the marriage as "loveless" and/or" sexless" .
I'm not implying that all men who do this are rat**stards, I've seen married men that are horribly lonely but can't bring themselves, for a variety of significant reasons,to end their marriages. The thing is, most of the lonely married men I'm acquainted with are ones I know from real life, not guys I "met" at online dating sites. I've had a chance to observe the validity of their situation and sometimes I've wished to hell that my personal values prevent me from offering anything more than
platonic friendship that acknowledges him as an attractive and interesting man.

But for the most part, we women who use online dating sites have to accept that married men are an inherent risk of the activity.
Cindy O
 vivaciousvixen2
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 97
Married men
Posted: 7/23/2008 10:49:32 PM
i met a divorced man on pof who's ex wives had cheated on him. i am looking for a
"4 ever" not a game. i had a feeling that this man was not wanting a long term relationship but lots of women. when i tested him, with the women versus woman concept he failed.
the man is a player. the part that bothers me even more then the married divorced cheating lying and everything else he does is ewwwwwwwwwweeeeeee the man has the nerve to post GOD in his profile. To me that is the most disrespectful, deceptive low way any person can go. How can a human being use GOD to get women along with his fake profile, fake 4 yr degree fake new town he lives in and GOD..................very very LOW
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 102
Married men
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:16:04 PM

lady c4 wrote):One could squeal like a hog all day and all night, and the actual impact that the squealing would have on the married cheater issue, would be about as noticeable as a fart in a hurricane


That was speaking about the effectiveness of "squealing" on the the collective issue of married cheaters. Men and women who found themselves involved with a cheater have been telling the spouses for eons. And it hasn't done a damn thing to stop those who chose to cheat.

As for as for individual situations, that's entirely up to the person who feels they've been victimized by a married cheater. My personal viewpoint is that once a cheater is revealed,why spend one more minute of your life that you'll never get back, doing the "vengeance and share the misery" thing.
"Getting slugged" would be the least of MY worries. However, if one encounters a litigious wronged spouse in a state with "alienation of affection" civil statutes still on the books it could be a financial KO punch.
I seriously doubt that most people who "squeal" on a lover who turned out to be married are really doing it to "let the (wronged spouse) know they are being screwed over" they are doing it for vengeance. Or out of resentment; the cheater is "getting away with something" "getting to have their cake and eat it too."
I'll take "lesson learned, get on with life" over taking out vengeance and resentment on 2 people who already have a HUGE problem( a defective marriage) any time.
Cindy O
 kymun
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 105
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History
Married men
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:46:44 AM
Noooooooo-been there-maybe she has reasons for cheating--like maybe abuse at home-sexless marriage---ladys you really should { ask } why do men cheat
 kymun
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 106
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History
Married men
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:54:51 AM
Lady my father did the same-----------he should-----he was f--king her----i congradulated the two a--h--es-what a blissful life it been with out the both of them
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 114
Married men
Posted: 8/11/2008 2:07:45 PM

no wonder your not married

No wonder YOU are "prefer not to say".
I have no universal answers...all I know is that I don't care to be involved in an adulterous relationship,no matter how "heart rending" the guy's story may be. I'm very sure many of them ARE in lonely, loveless relationship. Hell, I damn sure didn't ASK to become single because my spouse died, but I won't use that as an excuse to be involved beyond platonic friendship with a married man.

If I were to find out that a guy I was seeing was married and lying to me about it, I wouldn't bother to inform the wife for revenge, I'd deal with the problem at it's source and let HIM figure out how to explain his injuries to his wife.

But the fact remains, if one is going to date people one finds at online dating and social networking sites, it pays to keep in mind what a wonderful tool the 'net is for those looking to cheat. If he can't show you where he lives, take you out in public, introduce you to friends,etc then the situation wants very close watching.
Cindy O
 degostyle
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 117
Married men
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:07:10 AM
This is a good thread, but some of the crap I have read is pretty sick. Why is it that married couples have to go outside their marrige to have sex? I dont care if its mutual or not. Its suppose to be between you 2, thats it. Why get married then? Why even date? This is what I mean when I have stated in other posts, society is becoming worse and worse. And yes, I know "swingers" have always been around, but its getting really bad now. The married people on here that are on here just to get laid....HAVE SOME FRIKIN MORALS!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 119
Married men
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:14:55 AM

Any guy checking in here you can't wait to sink your claws into them.

Oh now that's funny. I stated my opinions. My opinion of men and women who cheat on their spouses , or seem to be angling to do such a thing,is not a high one. I'm OK with PoF members who've found someone but stay with the site to be in touch with friends or to participate in the forums.
But for already committed people to come here( it IS primarily a dating site,AFAIK) looking for "talk", why not go to one of the friendship/social networking sites, or find online interest groups?

People life is full of learning experiances the fact that any of you are on here asking for help in the first place makes it abundantly that you are socially challenged. To seek advice from your peers only lends truth to the "Birds of a feather thing"

Again with the putdowns of PoF membership. Why are you here looking to "talk" to such "socially challenged" people? If you love your wife but she's not a conversationalist, why not go join a social club, or volunteer for something?
Cindy O
 brownie360
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 123
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History
Married men
Posted: 8/31/2008 2:42:18 AM
Yes it does blows the mind. I have no respect for married people that scope out on dating sites looking for side action. You have people thinking that being seperated means single. If you are seperated; you are still MARRIED. It's like people dont care about anything or who they hurt. Thank God I'm not like that. If monogamy is not a part of what makes up their character, then why do they seek out a relationship?
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 129
Married men
Posted: 4/25/2011 10:12:43 PM
never been married, but when I was in college, I wore the wedding band. weed them out ?!?! it might as well be a fishing lure for y'all.
took the ring off, tan line faded, hello dry streak. Amazing.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 130
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Married men
Posted: 4/26/2011 12:36:23 PM
I'm only shocked that you are so shocked. This sort of thing has been around since marriage was invented (before that they just CALLED it something else), and is in the news EVERY DAY. Just shocked that YOU fell for it?
Watch out, pretty much everything you've ever heard of where liars fool people can happen to you, just as well as everyone else.
I've never heard of a way to be 100% safe from lies. Even people rich enough to have a complete background check run on everyone they meet, get fooled anyway.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 131
Married men
Posted: 4/26/2011 6:33:24 PM
Think with your heads, not your hearts, and quite believing in fairytales?????

Like Igor, I'm stunned that you girls are stunned!!!! These types of people just found another tool to use the last 5-10 years, and found more willling victims right in front of them on a puter screen.
 MissyTrouble
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 132
Married men
Posted: 4/26/2011 6:45:21 PM
I used to talk to a married man online(didnt know it then). I ended up getting him in trouble with his WIFE>. lol.. and he thanked ME!!.. why?

Cuz everytime his wife caught him.. he would get laid!!
 ChrisD1957
Joined: 12/20/2010
Msg: 133
Married men
Posted: 4/27/2011 9:50:18 AM
LOOKING for his next victim...How do we stop this???
You would probably have better luck achieving world peace or a dollar gallon of gas. Stopping married men from cheating...aint gonna happen. All you can do is not ignore the warning signs.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 134
Married men
Posted: 4/27/2011 10:02:24 AM
"And what about their wives?
WORTHLESS, Lets face it, if they were taking care of business, I would be out of business'
And with you He gets to be hot?
Oh yeah, Red hot, I've got him panting like a dog. It's great.
He's like a dying plant that just needs a little water.
All tatted up little boy toy, get his pilot lit and he is that dog ready to play with his bone'
Demi Moore prepping for the True Lies sequal.... the girls version.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 135
Married men
Posted: 4/27/2011 12:14:22 PM

...How do we stop this???

You don't. Full stop.

The best that could happen [for you] is to use the experience as a learning experience. You may not feel that you had found out soon enough for your taste but you were cognizant enough to do some digging when things seemed fishy. That's the best that you could ever do given the fact that one can never completely control the actions of others.

Given that, my suggestion is you not let this detract from your essence or personality. The experience could taint the chance of having a relationship with the right guy. It wouldn't be fair to him if he has to pay for the sins of his brothers.

Also consider toning back the negativity in the beginning of your profile, it negatively says more about you than the guy who tried to take advantage of you. Your profile already has a section about what you're [not] looking for at the end. Besides, we all know that having it written anywhere in a profile isn't a guarantee that someone married won't contact you.

If taking that information out of your profile seems like something that would harm you, you may need to ask yourself if you're in a place to use online sites as a medium to meet guys, at least for now. If it's not, remember that using any other medium doesn't preclude one from meeting someone who's married. It's up to you to have the fortitude to keep a discerning watch for things that doesn't seem quite right.
 jaxjagkat
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 136
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History
Married men
Posted: 5/10/2011 5:25:29 PM
If in the eyes of the law you are not divorced, You are MARRIED!!! I met a man who after some weeks I got to fess up. The was married. His wife was dying of breast cancer and he just wanted to see what was out there. He wanted to see if he could form a bond with someone for when his wife finally died. He didn't want to spend a year or two building a new relationship when he could begin now. He supposedly was deeply in love with her, but she could no longer provide that which he needed. What an f'n a$$hole. Until death do you part or until the courts give you a divorce decree, you have no business luring some unsuspecting woman into your lair.
 drewlsvern
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 139
Married men
Posted: 6/11/2011 1:55:13 PM
Thanks Ricco, very well said!

Drewls
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 141
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History
Married men
Posted: 6/11/2011 9:48:23 PM
That sounds a bit much. After only a month or two of knowing someone, if she demanded that I allow her to just drop by when ever she's in the area, I might be a bit creeped out. If I like to do my grocery shopping on Friday night (the stores tend to be less crowded then), and she decides that means that I'm a player, things wont go well.

And calling AT WORK is a BIG no-no for girlfriends/boyfriends. Work is for the BOSS, or for the COMPANY, not for socializing with paranoid potential dates.
 KAT4EVR
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 143
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Married men
Posted: 6/12/2011 12:43:54 PM
I don't date married men or even separated men. Both are married. I refuse to be the other woman and be the cause of problems. If you are married and try to date me, I will turn your profile in, fast. I have done it before, one guy had a wife on each coast. I found out through a friend, his butt was fried by the site. Poof, gone.
 KAT4EVR
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 145
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History
Married men
Posted: 6/13/2011 3:55:34 PM
No, no poof if it is in your profile, I just won't respond or date you.
It took me 7 years for my divorce to be final (he dragged it out) and I did not date for most of it. I finally dated a man at work, who knew the whole story and he was okay with waiting. Sadly he moved away and it did not last long distance. But, I just don't want to be part of a triangle, I want to be part of a circle of two. Good luck procolharem (nice group in the 60's)
 dreamsofu2
Joined: 10/29/2010
Msg: 147
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Married men
Posted: 6/15/2011 9:21:30 AM
Try posting it on his testimony, lol, at least let others know who he is.
 dreamsofu2
Joined: 10/29/2010
Msg: 148
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Married men
Posted: 6/15/2011 9:31:09 AM
[ FACT, some men cheat because they can. some men cheat because they are not getting sex at home. Men cheat for emotional reasons. Men and woman are not different, a man do it as well and most of the time its for the same reasons!!!!]

I always believed it was a physical need for men but an emotional one for women. Thanks for that heads up. Either way, It's just wrong. I think one should be totally honest. If your going to so much as go out with someone else, tell the one your with. Call it off with them because if you feel to the need to seek others, neither of you should be committed to one another.
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