|Married menPage 3 of 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)|
|Irish.. this is for you....|
Hats off to you for your honesty. The one I speak of, had a FB page and denied my daughter to add him on her friends list. I got noisy... I told him about it. He then hid his page for a while until just recently.
He had told me about a woman in Canada that he had befriended, and ultimately left his wife because of her affair, to go be with her when he first left. She was on his friends list.
Now I wonder, was she really the wife? And if not, does she think he is down here working and still in relations with her? Or, is he still with his wife, telling this other lady that he belongs to her and that he is down here working and chasing Texas Skirts? He has tooooo many things he is hiding. Thats when intuition kicks in, and says, Wait a minute here. What is really going on?
And a friend told me just today that 90% of the men on here are actually married. Go figure. Only about 3% will tell the truth. Who can you trust now days?
Posted: 6/18/2011 6:46:18 AM
Lying is one of my biggest pet peeves. I just can't see the need for it. As for the number of married guys on here that are looking to cheat, that number is astounding. In any relation ship I have ever been in, me cheating has not once crossed my mind.
I guess the way I look at it, especially after what happened to me, is a relationship without honesty is not one worth having. I mean I know i'm not the best person to be in a relationship with, I'm not perfect, but even in that, I am ALWAYS honest. I just feel that if you tell the truth to begin with, you won't have anything to try to hide, cover up, or explain later. Its just easier.
Posted: 6/18/2011 7:27:57 AM
|Irish you are right. Its not worth it. And noone is perfect, NOONE. But there is perfect for each of us somewhere.|
Posted: 6/29/2011 6:43:37 AM
|Your right Sinful. They (men) have their stories. If it is out in the open, Honest from the beginning... we women have no right to complain. However, if we make that decision to proceed with a married man, it was a chose that two people made.|
But the Dishonesty, Ouch.
I agree, pay attention to your gut, then Run like Hell if something does not feel right.
Posted: 7/13/2011 12:33:56 PM
|I lived with one that was married for 9 months and didn't know it. Now he is on POF again.|
Posted: 7/14/2011 7:13:25 PM
|Just tell them you have in the past contacted the wife of a guy who you found to be married. You will never hear from that guy again. They are sneaking around on their wives and would hate to have her found out. AND if you do find yourself dating a married man CALL HIS WIFE AND TELL HER. Then end it.|
Posted: 7/16/2011 6:45:21 AM
|never been married|
but when I was in college I wore a wedding ring when we went out to the bars - it was an amazing fishing lure.
Posted: 7/17/2011 2:34:54 PM
|I specify no married men when I chat with them. I appreciate the honest ones & am honest with them. No married men because I am the product of an affair between a married man & his mistress. Long story. Good novel, but it is more a Harlequin than a Hallmark with its sad ending. He passed away 6 months after his sick wife.|
But God help, (& I promise He is the only one who can help) the SOB that lies to me over this issue. The wife deserves to know. Even now she deserves to know. You might be named as corespondent in a suit, but I can promise you, you won't be the only one. Do the right thing and go tell her. If married people choose to have an "open" relationship, that is their business. But I choose not to participate in such relationships.
Go tell her now.
Posted: 7/21/2011 8:58:01 AM
|I have no sympathy or adulterers or those who fornicate with committed individuals.|
Posted: 7/22/2011 6:19:05 AM
|However, "Married" also as in separated as in obviously no longer|
commited to anyone. <==== Still adultery, dear.
Posted: 7/22/2011 8:20:24 AM
|if a guy never, or rarely answers the phone when you call, it cold for several reasons, but i could be that he is with his wife/girlfriend. if he can only seeing you during normal business hours, or the rare weekend, then that could be a red flag too... also, there is the public records search:) |
Posted: 7/22/2011 8:20:59 AM
|Artsy - i agree. more females should listen to their intuition...|
Posted: 7/23/2011 4:09:59 PM
|Ok well I've personally ran into a married man on this site and was devastated to find out. They really should go to a married dating site instead of wasting people's time. You are not the only one who has dated a married man unknowingly. It does hurt when you find this out. We dated for a month but then decided one day to tell me he was "seperated" but still legally married! Imagine my disbelief. So I'm putting this on here to warn other women who he may have contacted or women who have contacted him. Everyone should have a choice if they want to date a "seperated" man or not. For one, he has single for his marital status and he has restricted married women to not message him! How ironic right. Well to get to the point his name on here is WILL0504. Good luck ladies and hopefully you won't fall into the same trap. |
Posted: 7/23/2011 4:46:40 PM
|well some things i've learned to look for. do they ever invite you back to their place? do they only contact you at certain times during the day/night? look for a tan line where the wedding band would be. do they introduce you to family or friends? are there any patterns as to when you spend time together meaning are there only certain days and times.|
Posted: 7/29/2011 3:40:05 AM
|Well they get women like you who will date them? Only those will low self esteem would date anyone who is married? Lets hope you truly learn a man should only want you...call it a learning lesson.|
Posted: 7/29/2011 3:48:23 AM
|No your not wrong for wanting to date now..Your marriage is over, you have already filed for divorce so you a step in the right direction. Now if you let her come and hang out at the house like yous two still share the same house thats a different story, that shows your not ready to let her go. When I met my ex, he was going thru a divorce his ex had cheated on him, I told him flat out if he wanted to see me then she is not allowed to come over to his house and hang out like she lived there..if she wanted to see the girls she can pick them up and take them after all she had a car. Why hang out in the same house if your not together anymore..|
As long as your being honest, and are getting a divorce and not trying to prolonge the divorce than you are fine..
Good luck to you
Posted: 7/29/2011 3:45:45 PM
I'm surprised you tell his wife. He would deserve it after breaking your heart.
Posted: 8/1/2011 11:05:21 AM
|A friend of my sisters was confronted by the "other woman" from a dating site last year after his date discovered he was married. She commited suicide.|
Posted: 8/30/2011 5:59:49 AM
|2 weeks ago my flatmate found him on FB. Married and his anniversary just a couple weeks out from my birthday.|
I was with him in total for 3 years. Before he got married, and after. I had broken it off around the time he was getting married. He pursued me for 4 months. Before we got back together I said to him he should be thinking about getting married and having a family. He was very persuasive that I should give him another chance-and yes he would look for another job so we would have 'more time together'.
I loved him and I trusted him.
I have had some seriously intense moments of wishing i was dead since finding out about her-his WIFE.
My initial and overwhelming drive was to tell his wife....I wanted, and still do, want to hurt him. Since then I saw no gain in making the disclosure to her-it feels like my hurt, shame, and disgust are enough of a calamity in all this. And at least I get to walk away. She is married to him. Maybe I am one of many I have no idea. My flatmate, and others think i should tell her-i don't know what to do.
I hate the fact that he is in my head!
Posted: 9/2/2011 9:06:07 PM
|I am making a statement on married men and POF. I was married 27 yrs and my husband found someone on POF. And yes u shouls call the wife. She has thr right to know. His behavior changed and so did his sex cuz they I think they tell gfriends they never have sex with wives. Untrue. My husband and I had both types of sex every day which mad me all the angrier when I founf he was in someome elses bed first. He needs a ring just to hold it up -i teehee. Nevetheless. We r getting marriage dissolve and since I started a new life my life has meen happiier than before I got married. Yay ti a new start. And cheaters just fomy have the balls to ask for divirce :) ÿ|
Posted: 9/3/2011 7:37:46 AM
|i put a special disclaimer on my profile saying that if you are married please do NOT contact me. of course, i still get married men contacting me. one guy said to me, "you are exactly what i am looking for." ugh!|
i've been in op's situation. i unwittingly found myself dating a marred man. he told me he was getting a divorce. once the red flags popped up i called him on it. he was indeed married, and of course had never filed. i am sure he never will get a divorce. i got my heart broken soooooo badly. i never want to go through that again. never.
...so for all of you married guys out there? why don't you leave us alone? go hire someone, or go check out the intimate encounters. sheesh!
Posted: 9/3/2011 8:54:15 PM
|^^^When I had my profile unhidden I had "Must not be married" checked off as a filter for who could contact me. Why not try that?|
Edit: I just read your profile Larissan and realize you have that checked off as well. Sorry, disregard my post!
Posted: 9/3/2011 9:46:00 PM
it doesn't matter what you have in your profile. they will lie and say they are single, or divorced, or that they have their kids over on the weekends and can only go out during the week, etc. they could have a house and wife in the 'burbs, and an apt. in the city. the list of possible maneuvers that these guys pull is endless. these guys lie. they don't care about hurting people, period. i have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what you say in your profile, married guys will contact you. the only thing you can do is watch for the red flags, ask questions, and of course listen to your gut. if your gut tells you something is wrong then it probably is.
Posted: 9/4/2011 5:41:53 PM
|^^^ Agree with you there. I know some people who have profiles on POF and they don't hide the fact they're married, they list it as their marital status, so at least in that way they cannot contact us if we have "must not be married" as a condition for contact. I agree with you, though, there are plenty of married men who hide the fact they are married (plenty of married women do the same) and those are the ones we have to watch out for.|
Posted: 9/4/2011 6:25:26 PM
absolutely...it's easy to screen out the ones who are open about the fact that they are married...and even though it's still disgusting, i'll give them credit for at least being honest...
but you just never know...these men are very good at playing around...they don't care who they hurt...and they are obviously pretty comfortable with lying...one has to wonder if these guys aren't really sociopaths or narcissists...