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 AUTHOR
 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 409
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship? Page 27 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
Probably not taking the initiative to see what if anything was wrong. But, most guys aren't mindreaders so...what IS wrong? It's a complex issue...
 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 420
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 10/1/2008 12:49:40 PM
I agree w/n2art-the vague "warnings." If you say something under your breath, that's Communicating?" Lame-sad-WRONG...spending too much time w/relatives instead of you is a RED light-BEWARE!!
 Ethnea
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 423
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 10/5/2008 8:46:03 PM
Wow. Great question! As for my last relationship, I ignored the signs that he was cheating. Once I realized concretely that he was, I thought that he would stop when I asked him to. Same goes for the prior relationship. The one before that... well, somehow (probably because he was a great guy and I did not want to be alone) I ignored the fact that he was a(n )"in the closet" homosexual! I think it boils down to the fact that I was too afraid to be alone that I put up with way too much and let myself be a doormat. By the way, my former mother in law still likes me and we talk on a frequent basis, so I know that "I am not all bad." I have now learned to stand my ground and to not be a doormat. I also have not gone to the extreme of being "the woman who is always looking for something to be wrong with her other half."
 tllynn
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 439
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 10/9/2008 5:01:33 AM
Did not listen to my inner voice, intuition, gut....whatever you want to call it. It kept saying "something is wrong, something is wrong, something is wrong". He did all the right things, but my intuition was telling me otherwise. Sure enough, I find out years into the relationship that something was definately wrong. I hope I have learned to pay close attention to my intuition (without coming across as a lunatic).......
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 446
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 10/9/2008 9:14:39 PM
I ignored....and then made excuses for the "red flags"
 drewrox
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 448
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 10/10/2008 7:50:43 PM
I worked too much, was a good father to my son, took care of things that needed to be taken care of. I guess I should have ignored my son to spend more time like one woman wanted me too, or I should have quit my job to get better hours like another one wanted to. Or maybe I should have put most of them in witness protection so they could have new identities and keep the ex-boyfreinds from contacting them which in turn made them drop everything to run back to them.

But I guess the biggest mistake I did make was actually believing that anyone on here could be loyal.
 Sweetcars58
Joined: 12/28/2006
Msg: 451
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 10/10/2008 8:31:24 PM
What I did ... I started to trusted him and started to really like him..... and found out he was still with his X Wife and another woman from here...
 hunter1975
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 452
speeking the truth
Posted: 10/10/2008 10:43:21 PM
Today i split up with my lady after a 8 year relationship we had a lot of problems i understand what ya mean when its gone there isnt no coming back lets chat sometime
 nonsensical
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 455
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:57:50 PM
I forgot to remind him we were married, and that dating other women was not acceptable.
 spencer192
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 462
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 10/16/2008 6:50:39 AM
I fell head over heals with a beautiful woman with two young children ( and whose exhusband would stop over in her house to babysit)...

Lesson no 1 - the kids will always come first
Lesson no 2 - she still had big feelings for her exhusband.....

Spencer
 A_wild _rose
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 465
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 10/25/2008 12:19:04 PM
I didnt follow through when I needed to, failed to listen at times, failed to give him space when he needed it, and let insecurity make me to needy at times. I didn't realize that he has anger issues from past relationships and was emotionally unavailable. Most of all I failed me by hanging on thinking things would get better and
not realizing that they won't. I learned more about me and who I am what I need and what issues I need to deal with before commiting myself to some one else.
 Meine Liebe
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 476
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/14/2008 9:53:16 PM
wow....u let her talk u into all that? a lot of guys i know won't even buy a girl dinner for a date..
 A_wild _rose
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 496
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/21/2008 10:21:38 PM
I lost trust and became insecure as a result!
 Alkalineprincess
Joined: 10/29/2008
Msg: 509
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/22/2008 10:08:08 PM
I coddled him. He was a a bonafide mama's boy, and in order to maintain the relationship I had to step up and take care of everything. Write the checks for the bills, do the shopping, sign the leases, fill out all paperwork, talk to his chain of command if his pay was messed up etc.

In taking on such a role, I grew resentful toward him. I actually had to stop doing everything (with warning of course) and let it get to the point where shut off notices were sent in order to get him to step up. Now he is totally reformed and independent but after 5 years, 2 children, constant deployments and other circumstances beyond our control, the damage was already done. To this day, we are the very best of friends, and I think that if I hadn't coddled him for so long and put my foot down early, he would not be an exhusband. At least that is what he says
 Harrica
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 518
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My Story of coming full circle.....
Posted: 11/27/2008 3:49:52 PM
I have been single now for four years. I have dated probably a dozen guys whom I had realtionships with. But if I was to sum things up, I would tell you about the ones that had the biggest impact on my life. My high school sweetheart and I were in love. I had dated him for six years and was even engaged to be married. He was the man that I felt secure with, I know that he never cheated and that he loved me with all his heart. Something was missing for me...I wanted a 50/50 realtionship. I wanted to feel t we were progressing in life together and that we would support each other to the end. Somewhere in the mist of the realtionship, I felt like it was missing something. I felt like we hit this big wall and nothing more was happening. I felt more like his mother than his partner. I felt like if we were to more forward in our realtionship that all of the work would be on me. On the other hand, I was comfortable. For a long time I wanted to be with someone and have them love me. He was that person, but when another man showed interest in me and was separted from his wife living in his own appartment. I felt a live again. I met this new fella from work and we developed a friendship that I didn't plan for anything else to happen but, one night it did. Since I have never been the cheating type, this action of mine alarmed me. I realized that if I was going to cheat on my man that I should not be with him anymore. I couldn't be with someone on the sake of not wanting to be alone and that being single had to be better than this. I broke the engagement with my first love and started dating my newly separted man. I tried to be understanding of his situation and put up with somethings that were raising the red flag. I thought this new man really cared about me, after all he was so affectionate. I learned a few things from him that I don't care to mention, plus it would probably take me awhile to explain anyways. But what I will tell you is that i learned how womens instints work. How the whole gut knows all. I suspected him of cheating on me and when I conforted him he made me believe that it was all in my head. Later I found out that not only was he lying to me, he cheated on me with two women at the same time. A few years later, a good friend of mine was having hard times in her marriage. I have known these two since my first job out of high school. My first love and I used to hang out with them for years. Then we both kind of drifted a litle bit when we started working different jobs but we will still call a few times a year to catch up. I started hanging out with my riend a little more and knew that she was having problems. She had even took a liking to someone new. I told her that she shouldn't throw away a good man. I knew her husband and thought that she should have stayed with him and try to work things out. They had two kids and had many years together. She was emotionally going through some stuff so I offered to help anyway that I could. I tried to be there for her husband as someone to talk to who wanted to see the two of them together. I tried my best to keep them together. then the unthinkable happened. He kissed me and showed interest in me. I was shocked....I have always been attracted to him but, never in a million years thought that he would want to be with me in that light. Maybe it was a moment of weakness. But something started and I felt like I had come home. His hands fit perfectly in mine and he had everything that I thought I ever wanted. Unfortuately, he needed someone that could help him relocate and help him with his kids. I didn't make the cut...so even though he said I had a heart of gold....he left me crying myself to sleep every night. A year later I decided that I wasn't going to let myself get hurt like that again and that I wasn't going to let someone in so easily. i had come full circle. I finally excepted the fact that maybe the dream of finding my soul mate, having kids, and living happly ever after may not be in my cards for me. That maybe what this meant is that I will have to make myself happy....I don't need a man for that....I don't need to settle and maybe I will date a variety of men before the end. I just have to be content with that and say....'It is what it is", " If it's meant to be it will happen", "best things come to those who wait", and " I can only wait for the least expected to happen", but life must go on.....The last man I was with, I never saw myself being with for the long raod ahead. He sometimes could be verbally abusive. I enjoyed though but, I never gave him my heart. He was someone I pasted time with and broke up with after about four months because, once again being single would have been better and I didn't need a man to be happy. So I'm still single but, this time I put myself out there a little more, because you never know what the long raod will bring my way. Have I come full circle r is my journey just beginning again?

Carrie
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 521
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/28/2008 10:20:35 AM
Trusted while blinded by Love!
 ileft
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 522
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/29/2008 4:37:00 PM
I let it have chance after chance after chance!! I should have just let go when i saw things going south but for some reason i was a glutten for punishement and let history repeat itself countless times. I think I was too good and there too much! I know it sounds mad but perhaps if I had tried the treat em mean thing it may have been different?
 776877
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 523
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/30/2008 1:49:30 AM
Nothing...................................................................more info? I'm PERFECT!!!!!
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 524
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 11/30/2008 1:53:11 AM
Let him in my life and married him
 sriannaailyim
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 543
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 4:41:32 PM
I encouraged him back to his ex....

Well maybe it was for the better? Obviously he wasn't over her regardless of whether or not they would work. Everything happens for a reason.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 549
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/25/2009 5:22:24 PM
Ok, on a few posts I responded to, I mentioned what he did, but I did admit my faults. I know I'm not perfect. For me, it's communication, which to this day I'm trying to break my bad habits. I tend to not be assertive at times.

I was too nice to him and it went unappeciated. I would always try to help a guy out and all it let to is him taking advantage of me.
 arcticdude
Joined: 10/4/2008
Msg: 556
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 5:07:04 AM
OP, First of all, shame on you for starting this thread without 'coming clean' first!

That out of the way, my first answer was 'Stayed too long.' - 20 yr relationship/marriage.

But I acknowlage that that answer is a cop-out, job interview answer...Like when ever I hear:
Q:What are your faults?
A:Well, I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist.

Or

I'm too accomodating/nice...was a doormat

My BS detector goes off the scale! lol!

Thinking a bit more honestly, since I've given this subject a lot of thought... I'd say: Impulse control in certain aspects of my life. I didn't stay calm when attacked or annoyed, didn't refrain from overeating when stressed. I'm much better at all that now! Actually, Having a kid helped me to get in touch with my inner 'Zen Master' Not soon enough to save the marriage, but soon enough to ensure a calm divorce! No, REALLY! lol

Oh, explosivesheep, post 713, EXACTLY what I was thinking...most people aren't 'listening' to the question! Or their 'answer'. :-P
 WokkaWokka
Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 562
What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 1:47:19 PM
everything, just ask her
 funksoulbrutha
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 567
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 2:40:11 PM
I was seeing a woman for 2 years. Ok, watching her. Same thing right? RIGHT!?!?!?!?!?!
 Cogie36
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 570
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What did YOU do wrong in your last relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2009 3:14:25 PM
I'm a woman so obviously I did nothing wrong.......it was all him....


( calm down its a joke)......
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