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 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 2
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What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Interesting question... I'm sure a lot of "good guys" will chime in. Let's hope this doesn't turn into a "GG vs BB" thread!!

I think one of the biggest marks of a "good guy" is the guy that will tell you the straight up truth, no matter how pissed it makes you, because he knows that even if you want to smack him, the truth will make things better in the long term.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 3
What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/11/2008 2:37:29 PM
Beats me, all my friends are a$$wholes, and most of the time I am not really that nice.

Other than that, don't lie, don't cheat, and never kick your opponent when he's down.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 7
What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/11/2008 2:47:33 PM
A good guy is that one over in the corner sulking because women don't want to be around him.
A good guy is just an ***hole waiting to be let out
A good guy is like a moped -- probably fun to ride, but you don't want you friends to see you
A good guy is what most of us men were before we hit puberty and found out about women
 Frankycadillac
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 10
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What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/11/2008 3:18:54 PM
winston churchill was a good guy
abraham lincoln was a good guy
ghandi was a good guy

total chick magnets.

a man who will stay by his wife thru sickness and adversity = good guy
determination, courage and not gettin used like a doormat = good guy

JFK was a good guy, but he was handsome so he had some hangups.

Superman is a good guy who is also handsome and never does anything wrong, thats why he's fictional.

a good guy can be determined by his actions, and his convictions. and judged not on his mistakes, but how he chooses to redeem them.

being a good guy does not necessarily equate to being a nice guy.

Andrew Jackson was a good guy, but he sometimes got liquoured up and ordered his troops to cut off the noses of indians they killed.
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 12
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What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/11/2008 3:34:40 PM

I myself do not show a differnt face to someone I am attrracted to than to someone I am not romantically interested in.


I don't think it's fair to say that anybody can treat everyone the exact same way.

I'm going to be more patient and caring toward the person I love, as opposed to somebody I just met.

Not to mention that if I don't like you, I have no problem acting like a total ***hole right up front. The amount of patience I have is pretty much directly proportionate to how much I like somebody.
 borntoski683
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 13
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What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/11/2008 3:36:48 PM
Look for :

honesty,
integrity,
good values,

positive masculine energy (if you're not exactly sure what that is, get some books on the subject and read),

consistency,
dependability,
confidence (but be careful with this one, its often one of the first attributes that women are attracted to but it can easily disguise many other bad attributes. But confidence in and of itself is not bad, its good)

work ethic,
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 14
What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/11/2008 3:37:11 PM

k, so are you saying that a guy will tailor his personality to what 'the score' is?

A lot of men are truly chameleon like and adapt to whatever environment they are in, I can honestly say I am one of those and feel no shame in it.
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 16
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What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/11/2008 4:05:51 PM
A good guy is respectful Around everyone. You, your parents, siblings, the cat, the dog, everyone. And shows up on time, and calls when he says he will call.
 AndalusiaJoey
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 22
What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/11/2008 5:30:37 PM
A good guy is the opposite of the sociopaths who runs for political office. You will notice them more for waht they do not do then what they pretends to do:

A good guy...
Does not tell you he is a good guy.
Does not brag about his sports achievements.
Does not use the misfortunes of another person to make himself feel better.
Does not abuse anyone or any animal or public office or another person's trusts.
Will not allow an abusive individual to ruin his day, or to rent spaces in his head.
Are the ones their fathers and mothers are proud of, even if they do not make a lot of money.
Will probably refuse if someone wants to name a public statue in his honor.
Will stand up and do the right thing, and to lead reluctantly, but does these things because he is a responsible adult and a man and that it is part of his destiny...
As a good guy.
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 28
What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/11/2008 8:28:40 PM


I think most women want the same thing ( I said most, not all, put down your pitchforks) from a dating scenario "good guy" Someone who treats them well and is compatible and easy to get along with and has similar values and is generally a decent human being plus being handsome to her, taller than her and has a good job and enough of a desirable lifestyle that she thinks she deserves

I think most men, you know the 99 percent of men you and most women will never want to have sex with, see the "good guy" term as a kiss of death. It means he is stuck watering your plants and feeding your cats while you are out of town on a trip having sex with a guy you really want to be with.

For a man, if you are dealing with women that this man will find desirable and attractive, unless the woman in question actually wants to sleep with him or date him, being called a "good guy" is like being called toilet paper.

Useful for one wipe and then flushed.


Best material on this thread so far, and head and shoulders above the usual bad boy versus nice guy/good guy garbage---which tells us little to nothing about what really goes on, or why the dynamic is the way it is.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 29
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What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/11/2008 10:57:25 PM

ok, so are you saying that a guy will tailor his personality to what 'the score' is? Do a lot of the guys think like that? I myself do not show a differnt face to someone I am attrracted to than to someone I am not romantically interested in. The integrity of my word or actions wouldn't change based on that principle.


All too often the guy who says everything a woman wants to hear will get her attention. The guy who is himself and says something she doesn't want to hear will be rejected. Eventually the first guy's real self comes out, he'll be exposed as not being what she wanted, and she breaks up with him. But he actually got to date her. The guy who was himself did not and and in most cases will not. Rinse and repeat. That seems to be the dynamic in play.

For a guy to have a rigid idea of integrity similar to yours means well... ending up on a site like this writing a post like this one ;)
 CRAZY 4 DOGS
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 32
What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/12/2008 1:04:39 AM
I know this is for the guys to answer, but I haven't seen the guys answer the way I would like, so I'm gonna add my 2 cents!!! LOL

To me a good guy is someone you know you can absolutely trust will be polite and kind to the majority of human and animal kind.

He is someone that has good morals and values. Meaning he knows right from wrong and trys his best to follow his heart.

He is someone who makes mistakes but not the kind that leaves you wondering if you truly know him after all.

He is someone that will not insult the people he loves on a personal level just to make himself feel good.

This does not mean he does not stand up for himself, and those he loves.

This also does not mean he cannot be, and love one who is into assertive, kinky play behind closed doors!!!!
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 34
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What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/12/2008 9:45:12 AM
This is so subjective and since I'm not into men can't answer fully what your needs are in a man, but I
WILL share something I look for in a woman and it should apply to you as well. Look for someone who has lots of friends of the same gender. THAT will tell you if they're good guys or good women or not. Women who tell me other women are all backbiting ****es tell me she's got problems and I don't care how hot she looks.

The friends in our lives that don't have a sexual connection are their because we like them and they like us. So...find a man who has lots of friends especially other men you like since birds of a feather DO flock together and you'll probably find a winner.
 borntoski683
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 36
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What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/12/2008 11:06:38 AM
gvnage,

I applaud you for trying to keep it real. Unfortunately my experience on this site for the past few weeks has been that there are too many people on here with pent up rage about the state of affairs in male/female relationships. Just about every thread on this forum eventually turns up into a he said/she said venting session with people jumping in to defend their gender and they eventually spin out of control.

Personally, I think you have gotten already all the information there is to say on the matter from men....anything else that can and probably will be added will be negative, will not display positive male traits and will mislead you about what good positive male traits are, what they should look like and how men around the world actually think. The men that are on this site are 90% single, lonely, frustrated and a chip on their shoulder about something.... as are the same percentage of the women as well. FWIW.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 40
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What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:48:00 PM

The difference between a nice guy and a good man is the fact a man will stand for his family's and his own honor. Same situation, someone is getting their jaw punched to the side of their face.


That was great when we lived in a free country. Today if you do that the cops get called and you go to jail. The guy who grabed 'your' woman's chest stays at the bar with her when you're hauled a way to the lock up. That sort of thing isn't worth those kind of consequences and a "good man" doesn't just emotionally jump in fists flying, he thinks it through and measures his action appropriately.


A good man is fair, just, understanding, and a protector. Hear a bump in the night? A "nice guy" will dial 911 and speak to the lady in a scared crackly voice. A good man will run out the front door in his boxer shorts and a 12 ga. loaded for bear.


People call 9-11? For what? It's more likely the cops will just show and then try to find something to charge you with.
 WpgGentleman2
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 41
What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/12/2008 7:12:02 PM
This link is pretty much the definitive link on what to look for when you are looking for a good guy:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member8087037.htm

I know this conflicts with JohnnyBoy's advise, but there you have it.

Yes many men will tailor their personality and apparent desires to what you he thinks the woman wants. Many men continue to do that for a considerable while after marriage.

Is it an integrity issue? It is similar to women tailoring their physical appearance, but not as well studied and organized. Men and women who don't play the game have a greater tendency to stay single, so integrity has a high price. Integrity is generally considered a good quality to have, but, do you really want someone so concerned with integrity that they are rigid and won't try to please? The optimum is in the middle somewhere.

I think the main thing to avoid are men without conscience, men with shallow feelings, men who lie easily. How he treats other people is how you can expect to be treated in a few years.

As to what to seek, my personal opinion, you want the right levels of:
1. Compatibility in personality, desires, goals, energy levels and ethics.
2. Kindness to those who those who can't repay the kindness (animals, strangers).
3. Conscience issues when he inevitably hurts something (hits a squirrel on the road, has to sack a problem employee, etc.). Not overwhelming, but enough to know he has genuine feelings.
4. Intelligence.
5. Do some of your strengths compensate for the others weaknesses?
 pugslave
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 42
What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/12/2008 7:27:45 PM
One thing you want to look for is a guy that doesn't try to control every aspect of your life. How you dress. Who your friends are. Where you go. How long you can be out. Etc. These things start small and get worse. You also want to look for a guy that wants to be with you, but allows you space to have time to yourself when you need it. Many things make up a nice guy, but most important are the sacrifises that he is willing to make for you without giving up his identity at the same time.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 50
What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/16/2008 4:19:31 PM
A "good guy" doesn't brag and boast on what he's "done." He just does all the things that matter.

I also agree that a good guy as a friend is totally different than a good guy as a s/o. Two different flavors lol.

Best of luck to everyone
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 51
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What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/16/2008 4:45:26 PM
I hate the words "good guy" , almost as much as I hate the words "nice guy".

To answer your question, I much prefer the word gentleman. This is a man who treats everyone he is in contact with with respect - and not just women.

He's compassionate, polite, and forgiving.

He holds true to those old fashioned "out of date" concepts like personal honor and integrity. If he shakes hands on a deal, it's a done deal without any question. If he sees someone in trouble, he offers his hand - if it is possible to assist that person. He keeps his word, because the thought of not doing that is too repulsive to even momentarily consider.

He considers himself superior to none, nor inferior.

Such a man is worthy of the term gentleman.
 Murf167
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 55
What would you guys recommend as traits of 'a good guy'
Posted: 7/17/2008 12:51:59 PM
Honest
Loyal
Chivalrous
Brave
Circumspect
Capable
Decisive
Inspirational
Generous
Flexible


Hey, I just described me! How cool is that?
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