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 totallyawesomesweetheart
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 30
friends with benefitsPage 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
thats exactly how the fwb should work and that is how man works. we have gone up to a month with no contact then all of a sudden there he is or there i am again and we meet up provided that we are both free. I have never once cancelled plans for him. if he wants to see me he can wait till i am free no matter how much he begs sometimes lol
 totallyawesomesweetheart
Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 31
friends with benefits
Posted: 7/30/2008 12:51:06 PM
personally i find looking for one doesn't lead to a good one. with me my fwb and i were drinking at a friends bbq and he made a comment about the size of him or something to that effect and i blurted out that i had heard stuff i wouldn't mind see what the hype was about. not thinking anything of it was just an innocent comment in jest but that led to him dragging me away from the cloud to have a drunken conversation about it then i just sorta forgot about it till one day he text me in regards to what we talked about and it was talked about for a few months before we acted on it(partly because i ended up having emergency surgery and didn't wanna risk blowing my stitches) but that was almost a year ago and we still get together.
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 32
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/1/2008 10:36:24 AM
im with you, doll. i prefer fwb. you have variety, sex, dating and company. in a long-term relationship, all sorts of problems crop up. in fwb, kick him to the curb. you dont have to be bored, bullied or take any other kind of crap. you have options and plenty of them. its heaven.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 33
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/1/2008 10:55:26 AM
Posted By: startle on 8/1/2008 124 PM

Message: im with you, doll. i prefer fwb. you have variety, sex, dating and company. in a long-term relationship, all sorts of problems crop up. in fwb, kick him to the curb. you dont have to be bored, bullied or take any other kind of crap. you have options and plenty of them. its heaven.


I have to say that when I've been in a situation where FWB has been brought up, it ends up being more of a relationship where the woman feels comfortable asking me for just about anything. Mow my grass, fix this, paint that, and everything in between these, and all the way up to co-signing a loan. (Which I don't fall for.) I don't mind spending time helping a friend out, as long as they don't take advantage.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is... It's generally clear what benefits I am to get out of the deal. Sex. What she wants, beyond at least a 2-1 orgasm ratio, is never clear. I don't think this is what FWB is supposed to be; but, it's what it usually is. Or it's just a way to have a BF (or GF) and still do whatever you want on the side. True FWB's are rare.
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 34
view profile
History
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:19:09 AM
It is exceedingly difficult for some people to find sexual partners period. There's a term for people like us "average frustrated chump" ;)
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 35
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:52:05 AM
what we are talking about is what used to be called...playing the field. dating more than one person at a time is perfectly normal behavior for single people. if a girl is afraid of getting her feelings hurt, toughen up, sister. do you think your feelings are never going to be hurt in a comitted relationship. and for guys, she might ask you for a favor. friends do that. for the incurably selfish, there's call girls. how little are you willing to pay. remember, a pretty girl has options.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 36
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/1/2008 12:08:16 PM

Posted By: startle on 8/1/2008 205 PM

Message: and for guys, she might ask you for a favor. friends do that. for the incurably selfish, there's call girls. how little are you willing to pay. remember, a pretty girl has options.


If she's a friend, I'll do these things without sex. If the sex is given, with the intent of getting a man to do things for you that he wouldn't have done without it, that's pretty darned close to prostitution. If he goes for it, fine. Maybe that's the only way he can get sex. Or maybe it's a fair trade to not be emotionally involved. But is it still FWB? I guess it depends on ones perspective.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 37
view profile
History
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/1/2008 4:28:21 PM
I was friendly with a girl, and our friends said to me, that if I wanted, we could be FWBs, but I knew she'd get hurt. If I met someone who I could be FWBs with, I doubt I would. Knowing me, I'd probably end up falling for her, and get my heart broke. It's been broken 4 times so far, and every time, it feels as bad as if someone stabbed my heart with knives, and is using them to pull it out, and I feel that way for months. It's not something I'd want to risk, just for a bit of sex.
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 38
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/1/2008 5:32:10 PM
to the men.....horrible being a man isnt it. strong sexual desires, women feeling like they can ask for something because you want it so darn bad. it must really suck. geeeezzzz. i feel so sorry for you. and please keep throwing that word "prostitute" around it might just work on some naive chick.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 39
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/1/2008 6:36:08 PM

Posted By: startle on 8/1/2008 810 PM
Subject: friends with benefits
Message: to the men.....horrible being a man isnt it. strong sexual desires, women feeling like they can ask for something because you want it so darn bad. it must really suck. geeeezzzz. i feel so sorry for you. and please keep throwing that word "prostitute" around it might just work on some naive chick.



Not really. I'm not complaining. Just pointing out some things that I've observed. There comes a point in a man's life when he is not ruled by his penis. From that moment on he is the worst nightmare of some women. A man who is swayed more by her actions and personality than his desire to get his tally-whacker wet. Luckily, there are many many women that pass this test with flying colors and appreciate the transition. Others deny the existence of such men; but, while we still hear the call of the flesh, we are the masters of ourselves and the desires we still possess.


(Damn that's deep. I hope nobody steps in it.)
 GbBengi
Joined: 11/23/2007
Msg: 40
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/1/2008 6:55:11 PM
you say "friends with benefits"

Do you mean literally multiple friends with multiple benefits, or are you saying a friend with benefits, and do they have other FWBs, or do you?

Here we go...... I am gonna catch hell for this........

I do not believe in any way shape or form having one FWB is bad........you get occasional luvin which keeps you somewhat sane as a single, you still have "half the bond" of a LTR, which is better than no bonding, it keeps up your self esteem and a little ego boost.

The major issue is being sexually involved with someone your possibly not exclusive to eachother, and are you putting yourself at a bit more risk by that?
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 41
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/1/2008 7:31:43 PM
the reason you are not getting laid is you are not cute, not smart, not a good dresser and not nice. also shave the beard and mustache.
 CCsMom
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 42
view profile
History
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/2/2008 12:40:21 PM
My main issue with this type of relationship is NOT GETTING IT OFTEN ENOUGH. Whats the point of having this type of relationship (where sometimes you agree to be faithful to one another) if one of the parties isnt being completely satisfied?

Plus I, along with many other women, cannot separate the emotional feelings from sex. Ergo, I normally fall in love with the person I am sleeping with, which only brings pain when the other person doesnt feel the same way. =( So, tried it, and probably wouldn't do it again.
 tgt11
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 43
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/4/2008 9:28:41 PM
I had a FWB relationship with a girl who lived in the same floor as me in our condo. Never mind the relationship issues, we saw each other a lot in the elevator, at the pool, there was no way out, and after awhile, it became clear it was far less casual to her than it was to me. Things came to a head when she saw me around the building with other women. The whole thing did not end well, and I wouldn't do it again.
 doink 1962
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 44
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:37:32 PM
I could not believe my last friend that I did , she offered me a health insurance and A retirement package that was way too good to pass up!
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 45
view profile
History
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:57:45 PM
I find the phrase annoying. I like the word "lover" though. And in these threads when people talk about "fwb's", they usually aren't talking about that at all, but just the "b" and not the "f". They aren't talking about being friends with the person, but just getting booty calls with someone that they don't care about at all, and don't spend other time with them. Fwb relationships are inherently hard because it is natural for people to feel an emotional connection with someone they have sex with regularly. We are wired for that. And more specifically, it is extremely easy to run into the situation where only one person feels the emotional connection, and then there's trouble. I don't think there's anything wrong with it morally, but it's not a logistically simple thing to do without someone getting hurt (most typically the woman).
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/10/2008 7:21:31 PM



"Is it really so wrong to be friends with benefits?"
Whether it its wrong or right depends on you and your partner. I don't think it is a matter of morality but it's about being on the same level with that particular friend.

"Have any of you guys tried and could not find it? "
Yes, I've tried and have not found. I have also tried AND found. It does exist and can exist.

"Why is to so hard to find one?"
It is hard to find because not many people are capable of distinguishing emotions of friendship from emotions of sexual interest. It's a very delicate situation. Most people are not willing to possibly sacrifice their friendship to satisfy their sexual needs. However, if two friends have a solid friendship and great communication, they have a better chance of making friends with benefits work out.

As far as your close lady friends are concerned, you may want to feel them out first. You don't necessarily have to ask them directly. Instead, just bring up the topic of sex or having sex with friends to see what their views are. If your friendship is that strong, then just having a discussion should not jeopardize it.

Also, there are many other types of relationships you can have that can satisfy your sexual needs like a booty call or **** buddy. These relationships are not as intimate as a friend with benefit and are more focused on the sex part. If you would like to know the differences between booty calls, **** buddy, and friend with benefits, go to my article about it here:
http://www.datingthoughts.com/2008/07/02/booty-call-****-buddy-or-friend-with-benefits/

Good Luck!
- Mr. Ethical Slut





I read through nearly four pages of dialouge out of sheer curiosity. I noticed that not one of those replies actually attempted to answer the question but this one. Good job, "Mr. Ethical Slut".
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/10/2008 7:26:56 PM



the reason you are not getting laid is you are not cute, not smart, not a good dresser and not nice. also shave the beard and mustache.



finally... hahaha.. honest answers on a messege board!..
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/10/2008 7:36:47 PM
... and now to be useful..




is it really so worng to be friends with benefits? have any of you guys tried and could not find it? why is to so hard to find one? whats so bad about it (ladies). its not something i would do if i was in a relationship, but being young and single is diffeant. i have a few really close lady friends that i wanna ask them for FWB, but i don't want them to get pissed at me. were all human, and we all have needs. so what do you all think?



A. SMILE DAMNIT..
B. Those sunglasses make you look pretty creepy. Cool, but creepy. You look like the unibomber in that picture. Beyond anything I've learned in the last few years - women hate creepy.
C. Copy and paste into a browser window: http://www.doubleyourdating-book.com/?gclid=CMi65ObfhJUCFQMZgQodngSwxw
D. Read C. You'll be amazed. No, I'm not selling the book for the guy.
 dominic_a
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 49
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/10/2008 8:09:04 PM
I really dont think at least in my case fwb works out because i myself was in that situation a few months ago i was friends with this chick for a few years because we worked together she got out of a relationship and asked me to fawk her because she didnt want to sleep around and then after a few weeks of this i got attached and now our friendship is basically over so I say fawk the people you want to fawk but make sure there not your friends because sex changes everything
 chrysteeny
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 52
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/14/2008 2:27:20 PM
I've tried this MANY times.. I always end up being hurt. I get too emotionally attached, once I have sex with the same man a few times, I want the relationship to go further... and when it doesn't... It makes my heart hurt too much, so in my opinion I don't think it's worth it.
 YesMiss
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 53
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/14/2008 8:37:23 PM
It's the greatest thing in single life. :)
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 54
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/14/2008 8:45:53 PM
FWBs are only bad when they give you herniated neck discs...
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 57
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/15/2008 1:13:12 PM

Remind me to avoid you whenever I go bar hopping.


I thought we discussed all of this and decided those days were over...

I give up!
 tcsfnst3482
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 58
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/16/2008 10:54:35 AM
Ive been in a FWB situation for about 3 months with this certain girl who i was best friends with for a good while prior to hooking up with her. After all is said and done i ended up having strong feeling for her now and want more than FWB now! She is not at that place after a longterm relationship. So we are now fighting and i havent talked to her in 3 days when over the past year the longest ive went without sum type of contact was at most 5 hours! How can i fix this problem or is there no way to go back to being friends like we were? I need help so any advice would be great!
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