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 doink 1962
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 44
friends with benefitsPage 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I could not believe my last friend that I did , she offered me a health insurance and A retirement package that was way too good to pass up!
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 45
view profile
History
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:57:45 PM
I find the phrase annoying. I like the word "lover" though. And in these threads when people talk about "fwb's", they usually aren't talking about that at all, but just the "b" and not the "f". They aren't talking about being friends with the person, but just getting booty calls with someone that they don't care about at all, and don't spend other time with them. Fwb relationships are inherently hard because it is natural for people to feel an emotional connection with someone they have sex with regularly. We are wired for that. And more specifically, it is extremely easy to run into the situation where only one person feels the emotional connection, and then there's trouble. I don't think there's anything wrong with it morally, but it's not a logistically simple thing to do without someone getting hurt (most typically the woman).
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/10/2008 7:21:31 PM



"Is it really so wrong to be friends with benefits?"
Whether it its wrong or right depends on you and your partner. I don't think it is a matter of morality but it's about being on the same level with that particular friend.

"Have any of you guys tried and could not find it? "
Yes, I've tried and have not found. I have also tried AND found. It does exist and can exist.

"Why is to so hard to find one?"
It is hard to find because not many people are capable of distinguishing emotions of friendship from emotions of sexual interest. It's a very delicate situation. Most people are not willing to possibly sacrifice their friendship to satisfy their sexual needs. However, if two friends have a solid friendship and great communication, they have a better chance of making friends with benefits work out.

As far as your close lady friends are concerned, you may want to feel them out first. You don't necessarily have to ask them directly. Instead, just bring up the topic of sex or having sex with friends to see what their views are. If your friendship is that strong, then just having a discussion should not jeopardize it.

Also, there are many other types of relationships you can have that can satisfy your sexual needs like a booty call or **** buddy. These relationships are not as intimate as a friend with benefit and are more focused on the sex part. If you would like to know the differences between booty calls, **** buddy, and friend with benefits, go to my article about it here:
http://www.datingthoughts.com/2008/07/02/booty-call-****-buddy-or-friend-with-benefits/

Good Luck!
- Mr. Ethical Slut





I read through nearly four pages of dialouge out of sheer curiosity. I noticed that not one of those replies actually attempted to answer the question but this one. Good job, "Mr. Ethical Slut".
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/10/2008 7:26:56 PM



the reason you are not getting laid is you are not cute, not smart, not a good dresser and not nice. also shave the beard and mustache.



finally... hahaha.. honest answers on a messege board!..
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/10/2008 7:36:47 PM
... and now to be useful..




is it really so worng to be friends with benefits? have any of you guys tried and could not find it? why is to so hard to find one? whats so bad about it (ladies). its not something i would do if i was in a relationship, but being young and single is diffeant. i have a few really close lady friends that i wanna ask them for FWB, but i don't want them to get pissed at me. were all human, and we all have needs. so what do you all think?



A. SMILE DAMNIT..
B. Those sunglasses make you look pretty creepy. Cool, but creepy. You look like the unibomber in that picture. Beyond anything I've learned in the last few years - women hate creepy.
C. Copy and paste into a browser window: http://www.doubleyourdating-book.com/?gclid=CMi65ObfhJUCFQMZgQodngSwxw
D. Read C. You'll be amazed. No, I'm not selling the book for the guy.
 dominic_a
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 49
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/10/2008 8:09:04 PM
I really dont think at least in my case fwb works out because i myself was in that situation a few months ago i was friends with this chick for a few years because we worked together she got out of a relationship and asked me to fawk her because she didnt want to sleep around and then after a few weeks of this i got attached and now our friendship is basically over so I say fawk the people you want to fawk but make sure there not your friends because sex changes everything
 chrysteeny
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 52
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/14/2008 2:27:20 PM
I've tried this MANY times.. I always end up being hurt. I get too emotionally attached, once I have sex with the same man a few times, I want the relationship to go further... and when it doesn't... It makes my heart hurt too much, so in my opinion I don't think it's worth it.
 YesMiss
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 53
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/14/2008 8:37:23 PM
It's the greatest thing in single life. :)
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 54
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/14/2008 8:45:53 PM
FWBs are only bad when they give you herniated neck discs...
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 57
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/15/2008 1:13:12 PM

Remind me to avoid you whenever I go bar hopping.


I thought we discussed all of this and decided those days were over...

I give up!
 tcsfnst3482
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 58
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/16/2008 10:54:35 AM
Ive been in a FWB situation for about 3 months with this certain girl who i was best friends with for a good while prior to hooking up with her. After all is said and done i ended up having strong feeling for her now and want more than FWB now! She is not at that place after a longterm relationship. So we are now fighting and i havent talked to her in 3 days when over the past year the longest ive went without sum type of contact was at most 5 hours! How can i fix this problem or is there no way to go back to being friends like we were? I need help so any advice would be great!
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 59
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/16/2008 1:37:54 PM
FWB works if both people agree to the general ground rules and truly enjoy each other for that arrangement.

Not going to work for women who want a husband, or men who just want a one or two time go. Or vice versa.

Its a term thats thrown around alot these days.
 Hairtrigger
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 63
friends with benefits
Posted: 8/24/2008 2:12:51 PM
Hmmm -- I'd sure like to find one. Anyone in this area interested in being my friend?
 UtJazzFan
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 65
friends with benefits
Posted: 9/17/2008 4:37:41 PM
Very interesting to me how many people are in these relationships. Kind of surprises me but then again what do I know? Is there a waiting list I should be on somewhere?
 mibra
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 66
friends with benefits
Posted: 9/27/2008 8:18:24 PM

is it really so worng to be friends with benefits? have any of you guys tried and could not find it? why is to so hard to find one? whats so bad about it (ladies). its not something i would do if i was in a relationship, but being young and single is diffeant. i have a few really close lady friends that i wanna ask them for FWB, but i don't want them to get pissed at me. were all human, and we all have needs. so what do you all think?

It depends on what kind of people you meet. I grew up in a men's society, my brother is my best friend and most of my friends are male. So I have no problem to have simple friendship with male friends and they alway discuss the problems with me about girl-hunting or marriage fights. I think you just need to find those people who can discuss it with you. They are always there.
 pretty inn ink
Joined: 9/25/2008
Msg: 68
friends with benefits
Posted: 10/1/2008 6:18:20 PM
if you both are single and you both are hoenst and true to the agreements of the fwb terms then why not???
 lovelyface
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 70
view profile
History
friends with benefits
Posted: 10/13/2008 2:28:16 PM
By a real man step up find a woman not a FWB
 tdimber
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 72
friends with benefits
Posted: 5/9/2009 4:47:46 PM
usually the friends with benefits thing isnt a friends thing ....its a sex thing . Women would be far more honest if they just admitted they had sex with random guys who arent their bf 's and not need to insert "friend bs "-because once the sex goes away -so does he right?
 Trishinwi2009
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 73
view profile
History
friends with benefits
Posted: 5/9/2009 5:03:31 PM

once the sex goes away -so does he right?


I was in a 9 yr ltr which left me completely heartbroken and for a long time I haven't wanted to get "attached" to anyone...

Over the past 2-3 yrs I have had a few FWBs - It just works for me. They still contact me nearly every week even though I have relocated and moved on.
It doesn't have to destroy a friendship if its between two adults who understand what each needs/wants from it.

Perhaps they contact me in hopes that I will become weak and give it up (I'm only 45 minutes away now) but it has been 6-7 months since I gave it up to any one I didn't think or hope would become more than that.

Anyhow, they don't always go away...that is all I'm saying...and if you're honest with your "friend" and they agree to the terms - go for it! Have fun! If it's not fun it's not worth doing...
 Dancinginthelight101
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 74
friends with benefits
Posted: 5/9/2009 7:11:16 PM
I personally cant do this...i dont judge any one that does but for me, sharing myself physically with someone is very precious...I am a very sexual person but it has to have closeness, Love and mutual respect....Once i am physical with someone my emotions change from friendship to more...so i wait and put the sexual energy into other things like getting fit and healthy and being there for toehrs just my thoughts.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 77
friends with benefits
Posted: 6/28/2009 3:45:06 PM

Something that seems to be forgotten here... What happens to the 'friend' when FWB is over....?
It's not like your futire partners are really going to want you to stay 'friends' with a FWB and or want to meet them in a social setting...


I consider this a non-issue. Anyone who isn't okay with my being friends with someone I've slept with (whether we were FWBs or has an actual relationship) isn't someone I want to date. My current FWB will be a simple friend again once I meet someone with whom there is mutual interest and relationship compatibility, and part of that compatibility, as far as I'm concerned, is being okay with my having a past and remaining friends with those people.


It takes the right person to keep it "just sex" and not become attached over time. You don't notice it as much while your involved with them... but wait till they go..

Then you notice just how much you really enjoyed each other.


I'm attached to my FWB--just not romantically. This is one reason I vastly prefer to have a FWB over a fvck buddy or NSA arrangement. My FWB is a good friend of mine, we were emotionally intimate before we got sexual, and we're emotionally intimate now.

The difference is that we have no romantic inclinations toward each other. I don't daydream about him or have any interest in seriously knitting my life together with his. Given our incompatibilities as dating partners, if I did start feeling that way, I'd end the sexual component. But that's the imporant bit for me, the mutual lack of romantic interest, and that's what makes me FWB arrangement work so well for both of us.
 ManFromMesa
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 78
friends with benefits
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:07:05 PM
I once,10 years ago, had a FWB for 5 years,worked great ,we never had the complete package needed for marriage or anything super serious,yet it was never enough to make us go our separate ways,so we did week by week and it lasted 5 years.She finally found a man that had everything in common with her and they married,good for her,she was a great person,we were great friends.

FWB just takes maturity.There was nothing wrong or dirty about friends that are a notch up from regular friends.We had fun on occasional dates out and was great together in an intimate way,neither of us lacked,we had great respect for each other and we mutually agreed it was fine.
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 79
friends with benefits
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:54:47 PM
I don't see nothing wrong having friends with benefits. That is until one starts to develop feelings for the other.
 52404 newbie
Joined: 8/1/2009
Msg: 80
friends with benefits
Posted: 3/11/2010 6:57:07 PM
Since being divorced I have had the good fortune (thanks to my job) to meet many attractive (physically and or mentally) women. As we get to know each other we often find out that there are voids or common interests in our life that determine whom we would want to spend time with - or not. Outside factors being what they are, one can often find a good "friend" but the timing may not be right - ie a new widow not ready to enter into a new relationship but missing sex - or a recently divorced person who also has natural urges and needs a "release" for some sexual tension. In these cases there is nothing wrong with FWB. I have had two women who fall into that category and yes they knew about each other; no jealousy, no expectation, no regrets. We also knew that if someone enters into a relationship the other person does not expect future "benefits". Many a night my FWB's have made what would otherwise be a lonely, dull weekend, a weekend that I fondly remember.
 elkcall
Joined: 1/4/2011
Msg: 82
friends with benefits
Posted: 4/24/2011 9:57:06 AM
Friends with benefits relationships don't work for me. They are unfulfilling and leave me feeling empty. A few men in their 20s have asked if I would consider a FWB relationship. My response is, "no". One young man wrote back and said he would be able to see me once per week and I told him that would be terrible! He wrote back and said, "too bad" and added a sad face.

Most people have physical needs, but I like to have a bit of an attachment to someone and know that what we are doing is exclusive. It doesn't matter how cute a man is or how toned his body is (apparent in their shirtless photos), the answer for FWB will always be a no for me.
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