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 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 25
Bizarrely DangerousPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^you are very naive.
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 26
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:52:21 PM
You should have googled his phone number. You could find out where he lived. If you felt you wanted to get even or have some sort of retaliation, you could at least know his name, address and phone number, and maybe consider using this information in the future for the police, in the event that he stalks you. You need to take a self-defense class. You also need to join the military, or become a private investigator....the class is only 60 hours, at night, a few hours and it is very much fun, and so are self-defense classes. This would give you the confidence you need, and also make you see the world in a different manner. It would help you to see some of the mistakes you are making. It would make you stronger and not so afraid.
 richcreamyhot
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 27
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/15/2008 10:09:19 PM
I WOULDN'T HAVE CALLED.
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 28
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/16/2008 3:11:44 PM
You guys are such romantics as shown by this response:


Its such a shame soo many people find a simple gesture like that cause to run and hide, i swear half of you if given the choice would stay invisible and hide away from all men forever.
He was most likely a shy man that wanted to leave you a note instead of approaching you-did you all run screaming to the police from tyour first loveletters, if you had any? They were anonymous too.


and this one.


Perhaps the guy didn't follow Gwen from Barnes and Noble to Target. It's possible he first sees an attractive lady at Barnes and Noble; then later, coincidentally, he goes to Target and sees the same attractive lady parking her car. He thinks: "Maybe this is destiny." He leaves the note on the windshield, figuring he's got nothing to lose by giving it a shot.


So, just for kicks, enlighten the ladies. If we were, in the spirit of romance, to show up at this guys Motel, how do YOU imagine this wonderfully romantic encounter would play out?
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 29
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/16/2008 3:40:47 PM
I wouldn't even call. Yes, that is creepy.
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 30
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/18/2008 12:12:46 PM
Hank,

Sorry to cut down your quote without more precise explaination. Assume he didn't "blow it," and he just scoped out her car and left a note on it, rather than approach her. How do you think contacting a guy in this situation would play out?

Also, I'm curious what other guys think of that, who might have been thinking along the lines of Simon and Hank. Guys, if you were a woman and approached like this, what do you think is waiting for you when you meet the guy and how would you approach the situation? (Both with the invitation to the motel, which Simon thinks is not a deal breaker, and without the motel invitation, just the note on the car, which Hank seems to see as sort of a romantic gesture by itself).
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 31
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/18/2008 1:29:52 PM
I call the biggest ugliest male friend I have and tell him go to the guys motel with a bottle of lube and some gay porn.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 32
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/18/2008 2:41:14 PM
Geez, I am not reading three pages so if this is covered, forgive me.

He followed you to Target, duh.

I think the reason that this is creepy is because he invited you to a hotel room.

If this story had read that he followed you to Target, people would have thought, ok, that's sort of creepy but it could also be considered a compliment and I suspect that there are people that would meet a man in a public place if they found he seemed normal over the phone.

You took appropriate precautions when you called so he can't contact you by phone and doesn't know where you live, so what would it hurt to meet? Many shy people in the world, this situation would not be so blatantly stalkerish without the hotel room component. It puts you in no more danger than meeting someone from here or having a drink with a co-worker that you barely know.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 33
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/18/2008 2:46:08 PM

It was the whole... I'm a writer... I blocked my caller ID and routed it through the switchboard thing... Sounded like a plot line.


Of course it is a plot line. EVERYTHING is a plot line to someone who writes.


Isn't just the possible suspicion of someone being a predator enough these days to make you do a double take and not do something so strangly risky.


Calling was not risky--going to meet a man at his motel room is risky.


I will accept one logical reason. You called the hotel and knew where it was at to verify that he was in fact in that room and not still behind you watching.


Not that it matters what you will accept or not accept, I didn't feel the whole thing was bizarre until I found out that he had seen me at B&N AND Target. I can understand a man leaving a note on a woman's car, the dangerous part, AGAIN, was the invitation to the motel of a man whom I had never met.

And that made me wonder--how many women would accept? How many had accepted?


Perhaps the guy didn't follow Gwen from Barnes and Noble to Target. It's possible he first sees an attractive lady at Barnes and Noble; then later, coincidentally, he goes to Target and sees the same attractive lady parking her car. He thinks: "Maybe this is destiny." He leaves the note on the windshield, figuring he's got nothing to lose by giving it a shot. He blows it though, when he suggests the motel room. Very dumb on his part.


Hank, maybe! For sure, the dumb part was suggesting the motel room. As I wrote earlier, at first, I was flattered.

If I found a note from a local man on my car, I would call and talk to him and if I liked the way he sounded, I would meet him for a soda or coffee--but I wouldn't go to his house.

As for those who are still suggesting that I should have taken the note to the cops--the guy really did nothing wrong! Even on the phone, when I said, "No," he didn't pressure me. You don't go to jail for being creepy or trying to pick up a woman.

I stopped thinking about this until I saw the forum posted again today on the sign in page. I don't feel creeped out by the whole affair anymore. Maybe he was a lonely guy in town on business, but he needs to develop some finesse on how to approach the locals.

To the lady who suggested putting date information in an email, thanks--that is good advice.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 34
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/18/2008 2:47:23 PM

I think the reason that this is creepy is because he invited you to a hotel room.


EXACTLY!
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 35
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:16:36 PM

To the lady who suggested putting date information in an email, thanks--that is good advice.


One of my friends always knows where I am going, who I am with, and she knows my password onto this site so that if anything happened to me the police could easily track the computer.
 val0214
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 36
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/18/2008 3:47:53 PM
OP,

Make friends with your local cross dresser, hand the note over to him/her and say "it's for you...I think he said he wanted a soda or something...bring a friend"

RLMAO

 ab initio
Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 37
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/19/2008 1:54:09 AM
Ha ha, if you're reading this thread look up to the banner in your IE window (i.e. that blue bar at the very top displaying what web page you are at) - it says "Bizarrely Dangerous Free Dating, Singles and Personals". Made me chuckle but hey, it's 5am and I'm studying for the Bar Exam so I gotta find my laughs wherever I can.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 38
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/19/2008 1:34:11 PM
Oh come on. This isn't the least bit dangerous.
The guy is a socially inept twit, likely a bit of a cad but when and how exactly was anyone threatened with any harm? It looks like too many people re watching too many made for tv movies.
Following you from store but too chicken to risk being turned down face to face is not the same thing as stalking. Actually in leaving the note he left the ball in your court didn't he?
I can't imagine he is very successful with women at all, or that those he is are really what I'd qualify as a "quality woman".
I wouldn't say he is at all romantic. Given the invite to a motel I'd be more inclined to believe he is just horny and clueless on how to approach women that he hasn't been introduced to.

A date is about as dangerous as crossing the street. If you don't look where you are going and what is coming eventually you will regret it. But if you use a little common sense chances are both are going to be relatively safe.
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 39
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/19/2008 2:32:31 PM


You should feel creeped out. I know that I would have left the note under someone else's windshield wiper when I found the note :-)


Ha ha ha... Maybe that's how it got on her windshield in the first place!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 40
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/20/2008 12:54:11 AM

You should feel creeped out. I know that I would have left the note under someone else's windshield wiper when I found the note :-)


Ha ha ha... Maybe that's how it got on her windshield in the first place!


Ha! I could believe that if I hadn't asked him how many women's windshields he had left notes and when he said "one," he described me to a "T." I had butt length hair--not many women have that.


Probably the higest proability was that this guy was on some work trip and wanted to get something while away from his wife. But really, what possible good can come from it. The possibility of a missed love... please. If you think that go the grocery store and look for the guy that seems to have more tv dinners then home cooked meals.

If you want to play funny games with your own life and well being. You may as well post on an online dating site that your looking for some 'fun action' and see what comes your way.


Aries, I have read every post on this forum and dude, I have NO idea where you are coming from. There was NO possibility of a lost love and I never said there was. Obviously, I believed NO good could have come from it or I would have gone to the motel-- and I never stated that there was the possibility of any good.

I have no idea how this incident equates playing funny games with my life or how it could equate posting that I am looking for some "fun action."

I think you are taking this more seriously than I am and giving it a whole heck of a lot more concern than it deserves. Really, move on from it--I have and I was the one who had the experience.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 41
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/20/2008 1:36:04 AM
Appearantly that poster ^^^ didn't read this part of his own website......
City-data.com makes no representation, implied or expressed, that all information placed on this web site is accurate or timely. City-data.com and its owners accept no responsibility or liability for damages of any kind resulting from reliance on this information or lack thereof
.
Wonder which name on there might be his.

Now thread hi-jacking IS a bit creepy.
 pearlj
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 42
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/20/2008 5:33:20 AM

How many women would have gone?

Unless they are insane, I would think none.


"Frozen Rain" up there acts like she is just brimming with readied excuses for the guy lol. Seriously Rain, why does she need to "call" and "ask him questions" to see if he was creepy, uh friggin' duh! Of course the dude was creepy! Im surprised with a survival instinct like that how youre still with us if ya know what I mean. If a woman doesn't follow her gut, than she puts herself at great rick! And if this woman is wrong to think he is creepy (soooo beyond doubtless) then she hasn't missed out on anything, if she is right but ignores her gut to ?"find out" she might put herself in some serious danger. Too many men,too lil time, why waste it on someone who might or might not be creepy?Common! Even the guys are with us on this one lol. He's a freak, end of story. Ps, Op I hope in your rural area that you have a shotgun lol
 pearlj
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 43
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/20/2008 5:38:46 AM

Call the police, I don't think so, they wouldn't bother, there is nothing criminal about leaving a note.
So what the guy found her attractive and wanted to meet her, its the hotel room that makes it sound creepy.


You guys are missing the point! Note in car window would have been a lil eerie, but not have creeped me out too bad. The fact that he KNEW HER CAR AT ALL!! And had apparently seen her at a Barnes and noble, but left the note in her windshield at target. THAT'S the weird part about all of this.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 44
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:22:47 AM

Walking up and putting ONE note on a woman's car ONE time does NOT constitute stalking.


I agree--he MIGHT have followed me, but he in reality, he didn't stalk me.


It could have all been a string of coincidences, too.


And it could have been, though the scenario wasn't as you imagined it.


Maybe when she called him, she should have asked how he knew which car was his.


I wish that I had asked.

Aries, you seem to miss the point of why I began this thread. I have never had this happen to me, so I had no idea if it were a very isolated incident, or if other women have had it happen to them.

I wanted to caution women to be CAREFUL about such things.

I wasn't lured to a motel room and the danger was potential, not actual.

And indehills could be right, the guy is most likely harmless but lacking in finesse and social skills.
 toomuch13
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 45
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/20/2008 12:27:41 PM
"I don't have a P.O. box"

OP this is why I do have a PO box! I have a different address on my checks, driver's license, bills, etc. No one has my home address. Let me tell you an interesting story;

I was about 25 or so and I wear contacts. I went to an eye doctor who was recommended to me since I had just moved back from LA. So I hit it off with the eye doctor and asked when my contacts would be ready. He said, "about a week." I came to pick them up, but they were not ready. He was very apologetic and said, "let me send them to you." I said, "sure, the address you have on file." Well, I get my contacts and call my eye doctor to say "thanks." He says, "oh, that is a private mail box." Now how would he have known that unless he went to my mail box? It has an address and everything. That kind of creeped me out. I was glad I had the box.

I have had other weird experiences with guys trying to get my home address. I don't know why people do what they do, but they do.

I would have called him too out of curiosity.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 46
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:14:48 PM

"I don't have a P.O. box"

OP this is why I do have a PO box!


toomuch13, that was in response to someone who said that a person can trace you through a P.O. box.

Having an eye doctor creep you out is MUCH worse than being creeped out by a stranger.

Aries wrote:


And those posts that I wrote why would 'you' blah, blah blah, it wasn't directed at you but the general 'you' who would consider it.


Aries, I don't buy into that--you specifically aimed things toward me, including what you wrote about the "plot line" and me being a writer.
 Zanadon
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 47
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/25/2008 8:27:15 PM
Wow, Way too much paranoia going on here.
People try to say this to your selves "I will not let media induced fear control my life!!!"
I believe "you can believe as you will as well"
I believe the guy was a traveling sales man and NOT some creep trying to get laid with out any one knowing anything about him.
Most likely, don't you think?
I believe the guy had a thing about butt length hair.
Don't we all get excited about our triggers?
He sees her getting into her car as he is leaving
OR he sees her arrive as he is walking into Target
So what?
He's shy and lonely and further hampered by his constant traveling.
He'd like to meet her so he leaves a note
because gosh she's so pretty and "I'm all tongue tied."
She calls and all he could think to say was do you want to grab a soda!
Oh and hey when you google something to see how prevalent some thing is.
break the figures down to the population you're in.
Gwendolyn did the same thing I would have. She found a curious note and it peaked her interest. She properly investigated. She just as well could have called later from home and ended up talking awhile to this guy and proposed to meet him in a cafe.
And yes I might of left a note too, in fact over my life I might have.

Now this poor guy is labeled as a pervert.
Where do you think the perverted thoughts now lay!!
some times I wish the May Flower had sunk.
 AtomicGogol
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 48
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/28/2008 3:00:11 PM
I find that creepiness is distinct from romance by the social standing of the person doing it. So if a "normal" guy does such a thing, it might be cute and innovative (provided he isn't shy about talking directly). However, a dweeb may indeed be seen as a stalker because of such a thing, and his insecurity may lead him to do just that. I suppose the point is that there is no clear-cut answer to it, but you must do what you feel comfortable with. That's the bottom line!
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 49
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/28/2008 6:25:57 PM
I once found a note under my windshield. It read:

"Hi. I hit you car and bend door bad. I am sorry. I know you are I saw you park. I act like looking for you because people here. I am written this note because they here. I read about this in magazine. I told them I am leave my name insurance. I am not. I have not insurance. You are too old and you have old fugly car. They are gone. I do not care about old you and junk old car."

The parking mall security guy said a "hot blonde" left the note.

My car insurance agent said she wet her pants laughing when I sent her the note with the accident report.


Now, THAT is the exact opposite of stalking...
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