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 kevinmach
Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 56
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?Page 2 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
^^Yes, it's always a great idea to your views on relationships for 80's B-movies. They would never steer you wrong :)

Ezak- I agree with you on those points, and the majority of the ones you made in your first post. What you said is true-there are other factors besides looks that factor into attraction, I don't deny that (like body language), but I still think it's the primary one for them just like it is for men-even if they are different than the exterior features guys look for.

So, OP... everyone is arguing why it's true and putting their theories forth as to why it happen, I am still telling you (along with one or two other posters) that it doesn't happen... much. Not enough that a 6'2" guy with an athletic frame needs to be wasting his time worrying about it.


EDIT: I remember a pretty interesting little tidbit I read regarding looks that I thought made sense, reflects my personal experience.

"Ask people who considered average looking what they think about looks in a partner, they will be inclined to say looks don't really matter. However, if a person is considered to be either really beautiful or really ugly... these are the people that say looks are important and do matter."

I found that pretty interesting.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 57
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Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 10:37:19 AM
Oh No! If this becomes a trend and all the hot women start dating the "ugly" ( which, for the record, I neither think anyone is ugly nor do I think something that is beyond a person's control should be held against them) guys..who will I date?....
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 62
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:09:03 AM

but I've been fortunate to have been in the company of some...(I don't like the term)...babes. I'v always been left wondering why.


Oh, please, ol' thunder--I looked at your profile and if you were closer, I would date you, and I am gorgeous. (Evil grin.)

It goes to show, beauty IS subjective, and we tend to denigrate our own looks.
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 64
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Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:19:50 AM
There are a few reasons why this happens... 1) Not everyone sees a person for who they are on the outside. Personality and common ground are big factors in why some people pick their mates. I know thats what I base my selections on. 2) Sad but true, money can play a big part in why some people pick whom they date. 3) My favorite one..... Less competition. If someone dates a person who doesn't look like Burt Reynolds or Val Kilmer on the outside, then there is much less of a chance of rejection, or having their man run off with someone else.

I myself, prefer a guy with hair, but I don't need a guy who can be a cover model for GQ. I like a little bit of weight to a guy, enough to take a header by a 500# calf, and not end up in the ER. I like a guy for how he dreams, treats the waitress at the cafe, what he's accomplished in his life, and where he wants to be in the future, that, and how he treats my horses...

Whether its an "ugly" guy, or a super model. Personality is the key for me. Money isn't an object in my life, I have a dang good job, and make more than most people in my area. I'm not after a guys money, I just prefer one who can live within his means, and keep his own bills paid...

Same can be said for a good looking guy with a plain to un-attractive lady...

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 69
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:53:36 AM
I dont ever recall seeing a hot looking guy with a below average looking girl.

Actually, I see it with great frequency. Like "hot women" with "unattractive guys", there could be something about them that makes the lesser attractive desirable, like brains, humor, personality, how they treat the other person.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 70
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:57:13 AM

And I tried the quote thing...did it work? Looks like it!


It worked!


Which, Miss qwendolyn, brings the thread right back to the original question...
WHY??? do gorgeous gals want to date ugly guys?


1. You are not ugly--as I said, many people denigrate their own looks because we are taught to be humble and modest and not to tempt god to strike us dead for hubris.

2. You are a musician. I like men who make music, or who have any artistic talent.

3. You are a retired teacher and I teach.

I stated in an earlier post that looks do count, but looks alone cannot sustain an interest. I would take an average looking man who has wit, intelligence, and is able to converse over an incredibly handsome but dumb man. On the other hand, that "spark" has to be there, and a couple of times, men whom I would not have suspected lit that spark.

Who knows?
 EdwardPartSix
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 71
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:59:14 AM
Why do babes dig ugly guys?

Ugly guys have game.
 doesitmattertou
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 72
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:09:48 PM
Most men won't talk to us babes because they think we are already taken. Maybe he had the nerve to talk to her and that was the beginning.
I like unattractive men with brains, good manners, a good purpose in life who knows how to treat a woman right. Sometimes the less attractive men treat us so nice and well we just dont care about their looks.
A man with manners is hot and a man with brains is drop dead knee shaking sexy
 kevinmach
Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 73
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:11:47 PM

Actually, I see it with great frequency.


Me too. In fact I think it's way more common to see a decent looking guy who has settled for a chick that's probably not as cute as what he could get (strictly basing it on appearances here). And as I've stated before, I don't even think the cute girl/ugly scenario is very common at all.

I think people just notice it more when it's the girl is cuter, because let's face-both guys and girls will check out a really attractive woman. A really attractive guy... well, most girls will notice, but few, if any, of the guys will notice...

I think all the business about the male ego, blah blah, was just driven by bitterness. Neither gender really wants to be seen in public with someone that that-even they themselves- think is ugly, and just a piece of a ass.

And I will add to that, the average woman is just as superficial as the average guy. I've accepted it because I myself, am no better in many ways... so I am not going to judge a woman more harshly than I would judge myself. But by in large, the myth that woman are concerned less with appearance is a myth that's gone on way to long.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 74
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:35:41 PM

Me too. In fact I think it's way more common to see a decent looking guy who has settled for a chick that's probably not as cute as what he could get (strictly basing it on appearances here).


Oh, great--now the next time a "decent looking guy" approaches me, I will know that he is settling for a chick not as cute as he COULD get.


And I will add to that, the average woman is just as superficial as the average guy.


Most of us are shallow, but perhaps some of us express it in different ways, and maybe men are more overt. I look mostly at profiles of men, and as I pointed out earlier, I have seen many that have the picture of a blah looking guy whose banner reads that he wants a "sexy, hot, attractive, steamy, beautiful" (choose your adjective) woman who is sexually aggressive. I don't think I have ever seen a profile of a woman asking for the same qualities in a male in the banner.

It goes back to the "nice guy" syndrome. Many unattractive people (and yes, that is subjective, but there are cultural standards for beauty) want to meet attractive people--and they want those attractive people to look past the ugliness/obesity/whatever to see the "true" person inside.

That is every bit as shallow as the pretty woman wanting a handsome man, or vice-versa.

When I lost 100 pounds, men who hadn't bothered to glance at me before suddenly noticed that I existed. I was the same person on the inside, wasn't I? Or was I? Maybe the lost weight gave me a new confidence that I hadn't possessed before, and maybe that affected how I presented myself. Maybe I could express some facets of my personality that I hadn't felt like I could express before.

Maybe.
 kevinmach
Joined: 3/29/2007
Msg: 79
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 1:19:50 PM

Oh, great--now the next time a "decent looking guy" approaches me, I will know that he is settling for a chick not as cute as he COULD get.


LOL. It depends on the guy. All kidding aside, it actually could be a good thing. It could mean you're just a down to earth, low maintenance kind of gal, and even though the guy on your arm may have the looks of a model and could himself get the attention of a female model-he doesn't want the crap that goes with it. In other words, for any girl that's an 8 or above, it's very often not enough for the guy just to have looks. He's got to have some status, some financial stability (erring on the side of well to do), have a good personality, etc... not saying this the case with every very cute girl, but very often it is.


I don't think I have ever seen a profile of a woman asking for the same qualities in a male in the banner.


Unfortunately, I have seen these for the ladies too, but I can't vouch for which gender has more since I don't look at guys profiles often. And what isn't in the banner along these, is often made up for in the body of the profile.

Anyway, you're point is not lost me... in fact, you're agreeing with my original point in a round about way: The may be a little more upfront about it, but exact same superficial desires are there with women too, yet many of them-and the culture as a wh0le- like to pretend they are not as concerned with such things.

I am not making value judgments on either gender for desiring things that are pretty, shiney, and new.... go for what you think you want, fine by me. But I really have not found women care less about looks, and some many have privately admitted to me that they do think girls are even more concerned than guys are.
 chrissyfit
Joined: 4/7/2004
Msg: 83
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 2:38:10 PM
many people say that my current beau and i re mismatched, and HE constantly says, "i bet people wonder how a troll like me is dating a hot chick like you" (HIS opinion, not mine). the truth??? it took me months to get over the fact that i was not walking into the room with a tall, well-dressed, "headturner" as i have been previously used to dating...but the headturners, as other posters have pointed out, have had "issues" beyond belief...cheaters (because, let's face it, they could!!!), entitlement issues, egocentric, perfectionistic,you name it. My current guy? spoils me rotten, treats me and my daughter like princesses, is full of suprises, and sees the value in what he has, as opposed to subscribing to the "grass is always greener" philosophy that a true stud can perpetually afford to entertain. contrary to popular belief, nice guys don't ALWAYS finish last!!!
 boazcharlie
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 84
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 3:53:35 PM
great post.i have always noticed it too.i think it is because a girl feels the ugly guy is much less likely to cheat opposed to the good looking or even the average guy
 Shell-Belle
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 90
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:47:00 PM
Hey maybe the "bald" dude is really good in bed!...............

no but seriosly that was kind of shallow. A relationship isn't about looks its about whats inside. besides some people don't think they can do any better so they don't strive for what they deserve. but seriously maybe this guy is a great conversationalist, has a great personality and is fun to be around. he probly reacted that way out of jealousy because he gets remarks about the way he looks and when he has something great to him he doesn't want to loose it. by the way you mentioned how long does personality last, well if you truly care about someone, you don't just think there a "babe", then their personality is what you relate to, their ability to relate to your feelings thoughts and emotions thats what has to be there.
Being a heavy person myself I know what it's like to get remarks like the ones you have mentioned and I'm sure theres a lot of other people on this site that have had the same thing happen to them so i'd suggest next time you want to ask a question and state it in the way you stated this one you should probably save it for one of your nights out with your crew. or think of a nicer way to say it. just because you may think 1 person is attractive and the other is not doesn't mean everyone else sees them that way. maybe to the next guy the babe you mentioned is completly fugly and the guy deserves better.
 kewl guy
Joined: 4/15/2008
Msg: 91
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 4:47:28 PM
one word... money(so what about the car he drives).

btw, women in LA will never date an ugly guy if he doesn't have money.
 CherylCake
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 92
Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:12:54 PM
His car was in the shop. That was her car. Or he was buying the car for their teenager. They might have been a gay couple...one in drag. Didja REALLY look close? Maybe he saved her son from drowning one day, or he looks just like her dad when he was younger ...who knows? Why do you care so much? Inquiring minds want to know.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 94
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Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:30:17 PM
I think if you read the posts on this thread, you will find , for the most part..that most men either already date "hot" chicks, wish they did, or at least think they deserve one.

If you read most of the female posts, you won't find too many saying they deserve, or have to have, a "hot" guy...

I think that contrast says volumes about the visual difference between the genders..

Not withstanding kevinmach's theory that it matters as much to women as it does to men, or in the same way, I think just on this thread ( and I've seen it other places) , that proves not to be true.

Someone can claim that we are all lying..but, come on...you think all women lie about their feelings/desires? If one or two do it, maybe..but you get a significant number of them? I don't think so..because there are many topics where we don't all agree with each other for the most part.

While, being attracted to who you are with is important to all, and most times like kinda matches like...women judge attractiveness different than men, and also by different criteria.

Another big difference I have speculated about...a man sees what he thinks is a "hot" woman, pretty much viewed the same by most...his attraction is an immediate desire to have sex with her. Even a physical reaction. Not all women, but many, see a "hot" guy and just think...wow, he's hot..wonder what he is like? Looks alone don't turn me on...they bring a smile to my face...but, how a man treats me, acts around me, and how I feel around him does..the looks part are just a part of the bigger picture. We also are more likely to let a guy grow on us, beyond his looks.

And also, something other women keep saying here, and other threads, we have very wide and varied ideas about what we think is "hot"..where most men have most of the same requirements , and basically find a lot of the same traits "hot."

While none of us would be with someone we aren't attracted to, what we judge as attractive can vary wildly from one to the other...

So, this woman probably is with this guy for reasons most men wouldn't even understand ( as evidenced by the Op's question), because they just don't see women in the same way most women see men.

And I can't help but think this is just a variation on the "there aren't enough "hot" women to go around", and now the less than blessed in looks are taking them too...

JMO
 ladydemon
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 95
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Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:30:41 PM
OMG it never ceases to amaze me how shallow men are whilst still trying to dress it up as curiosity or 'everyone does it'

Firstly I would suggest watching a film called Shallow Hal for educational purposes. Secondly for you and all the other men who seem to think women are just as shallow and couldnt possibly be attracted to a guy without physical attributes ...I have met a few men who are not considered much to look at, and even I wonder what it is about them that does it for me at least visually, but you know what? I stop damn well asking cos frankly the fact that they make my knees tremble and my head spin and cause me to forget my own name is good enough for me!

Also something that I found curious OP is that on your profile you say that you 'hate judgemental people', please explain to me what judging someone based on appearance and who they are dating is?

Truth be told women unless they are of very low intelligence themselves, like a man who is intelligent, who isnt so incredibly self absorbed that they fail to see the sun rise, has a sense of humour up to and including themselves and a few other qualities of which I would imagine you have none.

So to answer your question, babes; like any other woman date the best guy they can get their hands on, apparently its only you that cannot see why that isnt you!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 97
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Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:44:45 PM
I don't know how to say this without sounding offensive....so please....I hope all you gorgeous hunks don't take it the wrong way....but I'm simply not attracted to what people call "hot guys". Never have been....LOL! as my ex husbands will attest!

Some of MY personal reasons were....I was too damned busy for all the necessary ego stroking that gorgeous men require. The more gorgeous they are...the less effort they're willing to put into a relationship, I could never get through the door beside their egos. I tend to take good care of what belongs to ME.....and it's so unfeminine having to constantly be kicking some other chick's butt. And last.....I don't like sharing my lingere and hair spray! LOL!
 ladydemon
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 99
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Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:50:04 PM
ol thunder - I thought I was on topic there actually

as for guys only being interested in the best looking women, obviously there are plenty that arent else I wouldnt date lol

but to address you personally ol thunder, you are an attractive guy (even for an old one!) from quickly scanning your profile I assume you are also smart and talented, thats a lot more than a lot of men ever have to offer so I would hardly consider you a loser, or were you simply trying for the sympathy vote?
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 103
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Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:03:12 PM

And I am offended by the last few posts that suggest a guy is only interested in the best looking gals.
Shows to me the kind of guys those posters have been dating/involved with.seeking.
See....it goes both ways.


Ummm..don't know if you looked at my pic..but, I'm not exactly the kind of woman who has "hot" guys flocking to her..however, I will say that every man I have ever had a relationship with I found incredibly hot..and most were not traditionally what many would think was "hot"..but, none were unattractive by most standards either.

OK...ol thunder, while I agree that there is nothing particularly unattractive about you, I have to ask..if it isn't so important that women be hot...why are you guys so in awe of them dating you? Do you see the paradox? Why do fuss over why these women date less than the hottest guys? Because you value it...no?

The implication is : these are the premium women..and I'm flattered to be with them...because they are so good looking..how does that not indicate how important it is? And nothing is said about their personality being great..so why are they with me?

Don't know how you can't see that...
 Lily0923
Joined: 5/28/2008
Msg: 106
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Why do Babes dig ugly guys?
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:48:36 PM
Love is blind.

I like rugged men myself, I don't like the "fancy pants" type... I can be up and showered and out the door in 20 minutes, if he takes longer than me... He's not for me.

I've dated different socio-economic groups, and do you know what I find to be the most reliable and caring? Construction workers...or the like.

I've dated men with different body types, and do you know the ones I've found to be the most loyal and honest? The guys with a couple extra pounds on them.

Here's some other things I've found, men who work out constantly and men who are obese...inferiority complexes. This goes for the "fancy pants" catagory also.

But what do I know??? I'm single on a dating site...
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