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 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 246
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?Page 10 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Romance and courtship has actually played a very small part throughout history. If you look back through history you will find that many people got married just because they were expected to produce offspring and they had little or no romantic life. The notion of romantic love as we know it today started in medieval France.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 247
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2015 11:39:00 AM

I recently went out with a guy and we got to the door and I just stood there waiting for him to open it--I was getting embarrassed and some people came out-and then all at once it struck him what was suppose to have happen and he apologized--I was like it's ok I understand


This custom where the man is expected to open the door for the woman has never made any sense to me. Whomever gets to the door first should open it and hold it open for the next person---it shouldn't matter whether it's the male or the female. Exceptions would be children, the elderly, or the disabled.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 248
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2015 11:46:59 AM
^^^ I agree, it's common courtesy. Letting the door slam in somebody's face- how rude is that?
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 249
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2015 11:58:57 AM

I would'nt worry about the door lock, but when I'm done going through the gears, having her place her hand on my forearm is a nice touch. It's the little things that make the difference.

The hand at the small of her back when walking through a crowded area, etc.

ETA...

I think it would be more telling, if as a couple we approached a door just ahead of a few other people and when I opened the door for her to walk through, does she step to the side to wait for me as the others walk through the door as I hold it or does she proceed on towards wherever we're headed?


I really miss this about being in a loving relationship with a courteous man. I do need help with heavy doors, and balancing while walking across icy paths and things like that. I really miss someone who is thoughtful with manners.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 250
view profile
History
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2015 3:08:39 PM
I have a book of ancient Chinese poetry that would prove this concept wrong.


Romance and courtship has actually played a very small part throughout history. If you look back through history you will find that many people got married just because they were expected to produce offspring and they had little or no romantic life. The notion of romantic love as we know it today started in medieval France.
 pinedrop
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 251
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2015 3:26:38 PM
I agree with Crook Catcher,.... most times it is the little things that are the most telling about a person.

When i read some profiles i often come up to the statement " I want to treated like a lady." I have to stop at times and think ok as opposed to what. (actually i assume she means the more traditional manner of courtship souther gentlemen style). Are we to treat a lady one way and a women another. Perhaps a lady is treated differently than say a progressive feminist, not sure. To be treated as a lady does require a certain pedestal outlook which is not exactly in line with feminist equality. Perhaps just saying "I am a romantic person who loves romance" or some such statement is less confusing.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 252
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2015 3:53:20 PM

I have a book of ancient Chinese poetry that would prove this concept wrong.


Usually poetry was written by the nobility. They would have lived different from the peasant farmers who were concerned with day to day survival.
 07songsungblue
Joined: 7/10/2015
Msg: 253
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2015 4:47:24 PM
I think Pinddrop nailed it regarding "I want to be treated like a lady". Who writes that? I've yet to see a profile that says "I want to be treated like a gentleman". I like romance and romantic words and gestures and I'm quite capable of being romantic as well. You get what you give.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 254
view profile
History
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2015 5:14:55 PM
Some people are romantic and some aren't and most people didn't really get together to make babies, so much as when you get together many do make babies. But sure romance has been around forever, there have always been people who are romantic. But yes, marriage used to be more of religious/property kind of a thing where the feelings of many were not considered, depending on the harshness of the rules over people, but that did not stop romance and finding someone and having affairs, etc. Many humans have romantic type feelings/behaviors, they didn't just suddenly show up in medieval France.

Look at being gay, there have always been people who are gay, there always will be. The rules can force people to hide, to sneak around, to pretend to be something they are not, but you can never force it out of existence. Governments have tried forever to force people to be what a few want, but you can't take away how the people feel because it's part of being human.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 255
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2015 7:01:34 PM
antirepublican

Yeah, I do it for me too. Every Saturday or Sunday, I get a mixed bouquet from the grocery store and put them in a vase in my living room. The flowers really cheer up the whole place and I never get laid for it.


Post #336
https://forums.plentyoffish.com/16427780datingPostpage14.aspx




^^^I agree, sunny.

I recommend all women take at least one self defense training course in their dating life.

DigitalDog was not kidding about my ability to knife fight and box. ;)

^^^
Daddy must have popped your cherry too. What happened? Did he neg you and then get**** and funny?


You are an azzhole. Kinda reminds me of some gnome that crawled out from under a rock in a garden. Some creep that always stays in Political Forum in M2 also. Awww, feel threatened by that other username I mentioned?
This won't be the end, yet. Don't make me reach across the fiber optics for you.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 256
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2015 7:32:41 PM
I'm thinking that cycling guy and this dude are either the same person or lovers?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 257
view profile
History
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/11/2015 5:40:56 PM
I agree the standing up when a woman wants to depart, is just plain silly and for what purpose? That is very old school. The standing back in an elevator to let a woman out first can cause all sorts of discomfort and is also silly. I would not expect a man to open a door for me necessarily. We are wanting equality and are not helpless creatures that need to have a door opened, unless it is particularly heavy or we have a load to carry.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 258
view profile
History
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/11/2015 5:47:10 PM
If by "easier these days" you mean women who like and enjoy sex and don't necessarily want a guy jumping through all sorts of hoops to get it, then yes I guess we are "easier" these days. Women have always been easy or not with their sexuality and it is just more open and honest now.

In some quarters women are still called "sluts" and "whores" if they are honest about their sexual urges and act on them. When will that change??

Someone who is truly romantic by nature will want to express it. Using romantic gestures and rituals just in order to get what they want, is just manipulation and game playing.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 259
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/11/2015 8:57:41 PM

I would not expect a man to open a door for me necessarily. We are wanting equality and are not helpless creatures that need to have a door opened, unless it is particularly heavy or we have a load to carry.


Agreed. I also wouldn't sit in the car and wait for a man to walk around and open the car door for me. To me, that's just a silly waste of time.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 260
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/11/2015 9:10:22 PM

I would not expect a man to open a door for me necessarily. We are wanting equality and are not helpless creatures that need to have a door opened, unless it is particularly heavy or we have a load to carry.


Well if it's all the same to you, rather than stand there and try and determine whether or not you're helpless or demanding equality or that sack is too heavy, I'll just get the door. You can cuss me out on the way by. :/
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 261
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/11/2015 9:16:00 PM
Well I have found that most men appreciate you allowing them to be a gentleman and I am one who appreciates it when someone does open the door for me. I asked my 24 year old and she thought I was crazy that some women don't want men to open the door.

I guess this is why men feel they can't win--some women will love it and some will hate it

BUT...it just shows that when you find the right person then things like this are natural, they will do the things you want them to do naturally and it keeps the small little bothersome things out of the mix.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 262
view profile
History
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/11/2015 9:26:12 PM

I would not expect a man to open a door for me necessarily. We are wanting equality and are not helpless creatures

Out of curiosity, if a guy and a gal are out on a date where he didn't ask to Take her out (nor vice versa) -- would you see him paying for you the same way?

In some quarters women are still called "sluts" and "whores" if they are honest about their sexual urges and act on them. When will that change??

I guess when other women in some quarters mall-watching other women will stop silently criticizing gals' hairdos & fashion walking by. Or when guys mall-watching other guys talking with a pretty girl will stop silently criticizing said guy as being a tool. The 'sluts' label is thru upbringing by parents and by jealous guys & girls mall-watching -- with a hasty label based on little... a lot like many other things. Just the way too many people are, I guess.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 263
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/11/2015 10:09:37 PM

Well I have found that most men appreciate you allowing them to be a gentleman and I am one who appreciates it when someone does open the door for me. I asked my 24 year old and she thought I was crazy that some women don't want men to open the door.


There is a nice feeling about the rituals of the courtship process. It's nice to open the door and hold out a hand to help her out of the vehicle for example. Or pulling out a chair. I might even buy her a coffee (kind of feel I'm letting down the side on that one though).
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 264
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/12/2015 6:09:44 AM

Well I have found that most men appreciate you allowing them to be a gentleman and I am one who appreciates it when someone does open the door for me. I asked my 24 year old and she thought I was crazy that some women don't want men to open the door.

I guess this is why men feel they can't win--some women will love it and some will hate it

BUT...it just shows that when you find the right person then things like this are natural, they will do the things you want them to do naturally and it keeps the small little bothersome things out of the mix.


^^^ Exactly. Perhaps it is our age but most of them men who I find myself attracted to are the sort of men who are this type of old school gentleman and appreciate when I don't try to change them. They open doors, hold chairs, lend jackets, etc.

I have 3 sons (21-26) and they open doors for the ladies they are with be they friends or dates. If I am riding somewhere with one of them they always walk to the passenger side and open the door for me. I don't think any of them have ever gotten any complaints. I believe that they have only come across ladies who are appreciative. I will have to ask them (for science!).
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 265
view profile
History
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/12/2015 6:32:49 AM
crookcatcher

lol!! You have a way with words. I like it!!!!
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 266
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/12/2015 8:20:01 AM
I'll hold the door open for anybody if I get there first- it doesn't matter if they're male, female, old, young, disabled, etc. A man who's only gentlemanly towards women is not a true gentleman. I've also noticed that some women have the mentality that they don't need to open doors for men- a few times they've let it slam in my face- notice that I said SOME women- not all women. How hard it is to hold open a door? You don't need to be a 6 ft 200 lb man to do so.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 267
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/12/2015 8:40:21 AM

a few times they've let it slam in my face-


I suppose it is possible that being sub six foot that they did'nt see you.


You don't need to be a 6 ft 200 lb man to do so.


Nor to pay for that cup of coffee.

Sorry...you're just so predictable with the "why don't they" and the "it's not fair" dialouge that it's just second nature to poke you. I'll try and curtail it. Lol
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 268
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/12/2015 9:02:38 AM

a few times they've let it slam in my face-

I suppose it is possible that being sub six foot that they did'nt see you.


I'm actually comfortable with my height of 5'10- which is average. That doesn't mean I can't empathize with shorter guys who aren't given much chance because of their height.


You don't need to be a 6 ft 200 lb man to do so.

Nor to pay for that cup of coffee.


I love the irony in this. In that case, a woman can pay for her own cup of coffee because she doesn't need to be a 6 ft 200 lb man to do so.


Sorry...you're just so predictable with the "why don't they" and the "it's not fair" dialouge that it's just second nature to poke you. I'll try and curtail it. Lol


You're predictable yourself Crook. You seem to have selective reading or something- always going after the men that you perceive are whining but ignoring the women who make similar statements. You never said anything about the women bemoaning that men won't buy them a $2.00 cup of coffee. If you ask me, either call both men and women out for "why don't they" and the "it's not fair" dialogue, or don't say anything at all.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 269
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/12/2015 11:29:06 AM

I'll try and curtail it.


Or not....


I love the irony in this.


I agree...because


In that case, a woman can pay for her own cup of coffee because she doesn't need to be a 6 ft 200 lb man to do so.


You're equating a woman physically being a man, to being cheap.


You're predictable yourself Crook. You seem to have selective reading or something- always going after the men that you perceive are whining but ignoring the women who make similar statements


There's no perceiving about it. Between you R/T and Patch you guys act like the three stooges. R/T's perpetually pissed off because women ignore him, Patch lamenting the "they won't give the nice guy a chance" song and dance, you can't ever seem to get past a post without harping about how it's just not fair! They should'nt expect me to pay for that coffee! They let the door slam in my face! Grow a pair ok?Sad thing is I suspect you seldom have to worry about that, but yet you have need to wail about it.


If you ask me, either call both men and women out for "why don't they" and the "it's not fair" dialogue, or don't say anything at all


If I see a woman post the crap you guys do, I promise I will ok?
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 270
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/12/2015 12:06:53 PM

I hate that but it's like people who can't be alone with quiet cause they don't like their own company. People give us clues about where they are in life-it's up to us to become wise enough to read them


I am not one of those. I kinda like my own company. Good thing too cause I've been single for a very long time. Hmm....come to think of it, maybe that's why I've been single for a very long time. *grin*
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