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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?      Home login  
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 clearbluecolors
Joined: 1/8/2009
Msg: 76
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?Page 4 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Men in their 60's and up have a good attitude when it comes to dating and old fashioned romance.
 BlueTeaPot
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 77
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/15/2011 10:45:09 PM
mmmm I was asked this the other night....prefer being courted....and I am a romantic! So he will be courted too, in different ways.

I think showing respect and being gentle with each other's heart is a part of courtship.

 Floramac
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 78
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 3:39:26 AM
"""""""""""now they swear as much as the guys......."""""""""

It often seems like the better looking a woman is the dirtier her mouth has become..........
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 79
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 5:46:59 AM
Most people I know who complain about a lack of "courtship" or "romance," actually are using those VERY old words as general catch-alls for other things they ACTUALLY want, but aren't expressing accurately.

One of the most common reasons people call for courtship, is selfishness. They want to be feted, given gifts, treated special, and have their ego (and wallet) stroked and plumped. They want to crawl inside a fantasy world, where their "true love" does everything for them, so they can relax. These folks in particular, are the ones most likely to be surprised later, when they duck out from inside their fantasy "tent," and discover their carefully programmed lover has gone off to find a more truly interactive, real person.

It's not a bad thing, or a selfish thing, to want someone to genuinely care about you. But if you have specific ideas about what that care is supposed to look like, and you set up artificial hoops for your potential lover to jump through to get to you, that's not romance or courtship.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 80
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 1:17:18 PM
Go back to the thirties section and see the pummelling that a 'nice' guy gets
you have earned every bit of it.
Enjoy it.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 81
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 3:28:42 PM
It’s about compatibility and shared values. You’re either on the same page or you’re not.

I take issue with people who blame feminism. While you’re swooning over those old movies, be sure and check out how working women were treated by male bosses…no thanks. Selling yourself into marriage or face poverty sounds real freakin romantic.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 82
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 3:32:11 PM
msg 226

Cupid is dead, deceased, no more, an antiquity, gone.

Okay, I can accept that Cupid is dead but can we collect on the insurance policy? I mean after all, isn't this misrepresentation i.e. dying without leaving us anything i.e. romance / courtship / happily ever after?


Must be a local phenomena.
This summer. there are many cupids running in tiny speedos around Toronto beaches.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 83
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/16/2011 9:11:29 PM
Probably a lot of reasons but it would seem women bragging about their "independence" and the open availability of sex.

Women brag about not needing men and sex is so easily given.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 84
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/17/2011 6:32:32 AM
yeah, dave, but what you are describing, is the all-too-common habit SOME people have, of blaming EVERYONE for the whining of a few SPECIFIC people. If SOME women do as you say, and the guy responds by blaming ALL women, then its the GUY who has problems with his willingness to open his eyes, ears, and mind, to reality.
 leetabeens
Joined: 9/7/2004
Msg: 85
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/17/2011 6:46:04 AM
Ive been single for quite sometime now. Finding romance hasn't worked for me. I'm finding as you get older that the majority of men are married or looking for a slim woman. So its still about the physical, sex and the look rather then the heart and who we really are inside. Whether we treat people well and try to make a difference everyday in our lives and those around us just doesn't count. Im hoping I will find the exception someday and be able to share the magic with someone who is on the same wave length.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 86
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/17/2011 7:07:16 AM
40 years ago people had interest in sex but not like today. In our "enlightened and open" society this one topic dominates and, especially, younger men want to play out what their hormones are pushing them for. Women want to "feel their oats" of independence. Together the opposite gender is put off. Do men shun independent women? NO, but many of these types of women brag "I don't need a man" so men stay away or worse just use them for sex.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 87
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/17/2011 1:42:33 PM

yeah, dave, but what you are describing, is the all-too-common habit SOME people have, of blaming EVERYONE for the whining of a few SPECIFIC people. If SOME women do as you say, and the guy responds by blaming ALL women, then its the GUY who has problems with his willingness to open his eyes, ears, and mind, to reality.


We are the instant gradification generation. We have no patience to wait for much today. As much as men hate to hear this if a woman gives sex to soon men loose interest. This has ZERO to do with blaming or whining. Some men have gotten use to easy sex and now many expect it almost from the first date.

On top of this there are women who flaunt their independence. In months past there were posts by women here who (for lack of a better word) flaunt this. Women saying "you men need what we've got but we don't really need you for anything anymore". Uncontrolled hormones and pride drive a nice wedge between men and women causing us to have little trust. To you this may be whining but it is also reality.
 secretmedows123
Joined: 6/23/2011
Msg: 88
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/19/2011 4:40:00 PM
Hi
I am 49 and yes life these days has become overwhelmingly fast paste and it seems like people want to run to 3d base on the 1st date and not take the time to get to know eachother properly. Yeah I know that this is not Mayberry or even Gone With The Wind erra but a little respect from a member of the opposite gender and some manners would be nice.
 female wonderer
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 89
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/19/2011 6:29:58 PM
It's also disheartening when the man is more interested in your sexual prowess in a first conversation rather than getting to know who you are.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 90
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/20/2011 7:29:29 PM
Can't I still have romance and courting even while I believe and live my life as if I am equal? One does not negate the other.

Depends on how you define "equal", and to be equal, first you have to be "free", right? So how can you be "free" if either of you is stuck in some sort of pre-programmed "role" (re: gender and expectations how men & women are "supposed" to behave)?

Actually, I think Romance & Courtship are cool, and to find someone else that shares your tastes is always great. But I doubt the traditional "rituals" (and the assumed "roles"), have much to do with "equality"... or else they wouldn't be "traditional"!
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 91
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/20/2011 8:41:32 PM

Ive been single for quite sometime now. Finding romance hasn't worked for me. I'm finding as you get older that the majority of men are married or looking for a slim woman. So its still about the physical, sex and the look rather then the heart and who we really are inside.


Both men and women have stated on here that they want someone who they are attracted to in order to be a lover. Most men, at our age, can accept a few extra pounds and a few wrinkles: not a problem. It's when the few pounds becomes close to 100 that we loose interest. When will those that have ceased trying to keep their weight under some type of control realize this will not change no matter how much they try to shame and intimidate others?
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 92
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/20/2011 9:21:20 PM
From what I hear women give it up on the first date and invite the guys to their homes as well. So it takes two to tango. Often sex is seen as recreation and if you give it too easily it will be taken.
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 93
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/20/2011 9:24:55 PM
I agree that not all men want the super slim woman. Many like a rounded soft look I have found. I am well endowed and men seem to like that and they dont care about a few extra pounds elsewhere.

The media brainwashes us into thinking that we must want the super slim arm candy but a discerning mature person will not be influenced by that. Of course there is always the person who wants the trophy partner but often they are not all that as they say and sooner or later will have to come down to earth and compromise.
 kyblonde48
Joined: 8/26/2006
Msg: 94
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/31/2011 8:04:50 AM
This day & age romance/courtship is sooooo yesterday..There isnt any mystery anymore. Theyve made a sport out of intimacy..Theres no feelings involved..just the act for instant gratification..They dont care about disease or how many partners the person you are with had before they got you..Ive heard of women gettin pregnant from online one nite stands..These girls meet guys & go to there house without knowing who they are..I myself have done this & my mistake.. luckily he was a decent guy but still extremely dangerous..same applies to guys goin to womens homes..There are some really scary people these days..Things should go back to the simple way of dating but we know thats not going to happen
 tevans64
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 95
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:22:03 PM
very well said!! most of the guys i have met on here expect sex on the 1st date. it's not gonna happen with me, been burned a few times. i have learned so many life lessons meeting or just talking to guys from this site.
 SunnyBlueSkies23
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 96
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:56:17 PM
I agree whole-heartedly with Rossal.I have to say this is certainly a different world we live in today.........I'm 46 and already,in the past 2 decades, SO much has changed.Men used to open doors for women....a lot of the younger men don't.Pull out a woman's chair for her??......that's unHEARD of these days.How about....let's see....even something like helping a woman into her car if it's icy out.......to quote myWONDERFUL Italian back ground......FORGETABOUTIT! Now,I'm ALL for women's rights.......the right to work if we want to,the right to vote.....etc......but don't we deserve SOME special treatment,too?? I don't believe a woman should be barefoot-and-pregnant (unless SHE wants to be!) and I don't want to go back to neandrothal times,either,but,in this day and age it's rush,rush,rush.....we want it,and we wanted it....yesterday. I LOVE the old movies.......people met,held hands,cuddled a little,kissed some,,and....and this is big.....TOOK THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACHOTHER AND THEN FALL IN LOVE! No,maybe they didn't have all the answers,and maybe,,just maybe we have a better handle on some things nowadays. All I know is,what WOULDN'T I give to go back to the days of Annette & Frankie,or Debbie Renolds,or the wonderful actress Audrey Hepburn......you ask a lot of kids about these people now,they gaze at you like you just grew a second head! ( I should know....I TRIED IT! Let's just say......it went over like a LEAD balloon! ) I don't think chivalry is dead.......maybe on life support....gosh,I hope it doesn't have a D.N.R....wait,who do I talk to about this???!.......but,like I said in the beginning, alot HAS changed. Progress has indeed taken place.....but,will someone PLEASE tell me who said proress is ALWAYS good?? In my opinion,we've taken 2 GIANT steps forward......and 3 in the OTHER direction! :
 SunnyBlueSkies23
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 97
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:56:42 PM
I agree whole-heartedly with Rossal.I have to say this is certainly a different world we live in today.........I'm 46 and already,in the past 2 decades, SO much has changed.Men used to open doors for women....a lot of the younger men don't.Pull out a woman's chair for her??......that's unHEARD of these days.How about....let's see....even something like helping a woman into her car if it's icy out.......to quote myWONDERFUL Italian back ground......FORGETABOUTIT! Now,I'm ALL for women's rights.......the right to work if we want to,the right to vote.....etc......but don't we deserve SOME special treatment,too?? I don't believe a woman should be barefoot-and-pregnant (unless SHE wants to be!) and I don't want to go back to neandrothal times,either,but,in this day and age it's rush,rush,rush.....we want it,and we wanted it....yesterday. I LOVE the old movies.......people met,held hands,cuddled a little,kissed some,,and....and this is big.....TOOK THE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACHOTHER AND THEN FALL IN LOVE! No,maybe they didn't have all the answers,and maybe,,just maybe we have a better handle on some things nowadays. All I know is,what WOULDN'T I give to go back to the days of Annette & Frankie,or Debbie Renolds,or the wonderful actress Audrey Hepburn......you ask a lot of kids about these people now,they gaze at you like you just grew a second head! ( I should know....I TRIED IT! Let's just say......it went over like a LEAD balloon! ) I don't think chivalry is dead.......maybe on life support....gosh,I hope it doesn't have a D.N.R....wait,who do I talk to about this???!.......but,like I said in the beginning, alot HAS changed. Progress has indeed taken place.....but,will someone PLEASE tell me who said proress is ALWAYS good?? In my opinion,we've taken 2 GIANT steps forward......and 3 in the OTHER direction! :
 ruby58504
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 98
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2011 10:41:03 AM
guess what if you don't put out nowdays you never here back from the person you went out with. Most men now days only want one thing, if they don't get it you never see them again. I still believe there is the old romance and relationship out there. The true gentleman who will open doors and help you with your coat. /But they are very few and far between. Especially when some say one thing and do another!!!!!
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 99
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2011 11:53:50 AM

if you don't put out nowdays you never here back from the person you went out with. Most men now days only want one thing, if they don't get it you never see them again.

Not really. There are some men who just want to run away from their date - especially if she misrepresented herself.
 ronnie12398
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 100
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/10/2011 2:18:40 PM
I agree there are some on here that their main goal is too see how many they can bed. It is sad you know that they view women as nothing but the flavour of the day, It is sad for them because they could be missing a really great woman out there.
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