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 AUTHOR
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 197
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?Page 8 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
To explain myself correctly Paderic, based upon the comments I've read here ...I would most likely not encourage or initiate contact with certain posters.


Yeah, I feel the same.

But people will surprise you. I remember one guy in particular, online he had an opinion about everything and was pretty aggressive about expressing it. In person, he turned out to be extremely bashful and mellow. You had to pry a sentence out of him.

I think another thing that happens online is the consequences of angering someone are pretty minimal, so those real world filters get turned off.

Now, so my post isn't completely off topic, I think romance and courtship are very individual traits. I'm just not the kind of guy that's going to recite French poetry to woo a woman, and trying to change that would seem extremely phony to me. If a woman wants that, it doesn't bother me to say I'm not her guy.
 redhednurse
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 198
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 2/25/2013 4:51:32 PM
I know this post is old,but boy did you hit the nail on the head.LOL
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 199
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 2/25/2013 5:18:53 PM

If you haven't figured it out yet, there's several regular forum posters that probably work for the creator of PoF. They exist solely to stimulate discussions.


Isn’t discussion the whole point of forums??


There are player type and jaded types. You can tell pretty easily who the jaded smart as s woman is on this thread. She loves to twist stuff around and always gets the last word. Just keep in mind that she is working for PoF and her only purpose on this thread is to stimulate conversation. In other words, ignore her.


Gee. Wonder who you could possibly be discussing so passive aggressively. Hm. I’m getting visions of busybodies in housecoats and curlers gossiping over the back fence. It’s not my problem or fault some people are incapable of basic reading comprehension, or debate, or having a sense of humor.

At least BBE had the guts to address me directly.

However; I do realize some (especially older) people resent a woman speaking up for herself after being called a “b itch,” or speaking up at all, unless it’s to say, “I agree!” or “Yes, sir, right away, sir, whatever you say, sir!”

I’ll be happy to take my paycheck direct deposit.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 200
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 2/25/2013 5:48:27 PM

fleuron
At least BBE had the guts to address me directly.




Thank you fleuron.
If I didn't have a problem telling my Wife when she was acting B!tchy, I'm sure not going to have that problem online.

My Wife was the Credit Manager and #1 Accounts Receivable person at her work. Many times the Salesmen would get ticked off when she had to put an account on hold. She overheard some of them talking and some said they felt sorry for BBE because he had to put up with a B!tch like her. To which I told her it was OK, she was my B!tch and I loved her B!tchy ways.

Then she thought my ringtone for her Eagles/Witchy Woman was funny, even though her best friend at work thought it was disrespectful.

There's a funny cartoon picture I'd post if we could post them.
Some guy is sitting at a computer and his SO is saying "Come to bed".
To which he reply's, " I can't! This is important, someone disagrees with me on the internet."
 waitingforyoutoo
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 201
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 2/25/2013 5:58:43 PM
I'm 50 and you want courtship? Okay, I want to meet your parents for their approval first. :)
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 202
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 2/25/2013 7:45:58 PM

I'm not even sure if the Over 45 site is still up and running...haven't been over there in years. And like it or not, cliques are always going to exist...whether they be here or in the real world.

omg I think I used to be part of that...there was a kooky lady (no name mentioned) who flipped out on some of us...as far as FB, why not, many of my FB friends r from the forums too...we r not bound by rules & chat & see eachother's pics, etc.

As far as courtship, evolutionarily speaking, it is a man wooing a woman for the purpose of copulation. I flirt, I don't woo...until after a relationship, then I will spoil my lover.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 203
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 2/25/2013 7:56:45 PM
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?


Who cares..!!

Just glad its over
 wcratz2012
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 204
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 2/25/2013 8:07:51 PM
Video killed the radio star and internet killed the relationship.

Nuf said!
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 205
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 2/26/2013 9:37:08 AM
Today I had a long phone session w/ a guy friend. He said oftentimes when a man really likes a woman they go into "stealth mode" I had an IRL situation that was verging on stalkerish... I was like if a man likes a woman why would he want to be so secretive...it sounds crazy...

He said there could have been men in any woman's life who secretly lusted after them & that the women had no clue what so ever...cuz the guy kept it hidden...

I would imagine if a man liked a woman or even lusted, he'd pursue her. My guy friend said generally some pushy broad chases the guy & that is who he ends up with...too confusing & abnormal IMO...

All of this is emotionally exhausting!
 melodyof_k
Joined: 5/2/2012
Msg: 206
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 2/26/2013 11:11:14 AM
secret lusting and a kind of shy or insecure guy who needs to keep it secret...
often end up with the woman who goes after him....
because she knows he is available even if he is lusting after another woman.

gosh...too bad...
too bad he cant just approach the woman he wants and ask her out,...or ask her name...or something.
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 207
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/25/2015 5:04:13 PM
Romance & Courtship has migrated to Holland for many...

I think many yearn for romance...some for sex...some for love...
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 208
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/25/2015 8:51:32 PM
Or gave up because they didn't do it right.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 209
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/25/2015 9:32:13 PM

As far as courtship, evolutionarily speaking, it is a man wooing a woman for the purpose of copulation.


What is this 'copulation' you speak of?
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 210
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/26/2015 4:05:07 AM
It happens after the 3rd date now, not vice versa (SMH).

Also, in the 21st century, for every gal that wants to be wooed, there's another that views the wooing as an agenda.

YMMV
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 211
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/26/2015 1:15:19 PM

What is this 'copulation' you speak of?

It's when you walk into a park at dusk, and start masturbating in the sandbox. If said park lacks a sandbox, it's masturbating at home plate on the baseball diamond, in the middle of a tennis court, or underneath a basket in the basketball court.

Also, in the 21st century, for every gal that wants to be wooed, there's another that views the wooing as an agenda.

Or "vagenda", yes. They don't want to notice that you're trying to woo them -- you have to be a good actor to make it seem all natural and it's just fate & the moment itself doing it. Oh, it's fine to make conscious effort to pick a good place even if that's not your most ideal choice for yourself, and to pay for her bill, etc -- that part's OK to get on her good side. But how they engage -- yeah, no "woo"-ing in that direction!
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 212
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2015 4:24:09 AM
Nothing happened to romance and courtship except that now that comes after sex.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 213
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2015 8:00:31 AM

Also, in the 21st century, for every gal that wants to be wooed, there's another that views the wooing as an agenda.


I haven't read back on this thread. I shall do that yet.

This is true clooney, although I believe there is a form of intent behind the wooing, be it sincerity, or nefarious.

I've had a man who wooed me with tons of gifts. I even refused a lot of them. In the end when I refused to put my name in print on his checking account, due to fears I just found out his brother was suing him for 150K of his inheritance. Poof! He walked out of my life, cold turkey. I had felt that there was an agenda behind his wooing. I was correct.
 Latticuss
Joined: 7/10/2012
Msg: 214
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/27/2015 11:57:59 AM
Modern feminism and PC killed romance. You are not supposed to tell a woman that she is beautiful. That is degrading to women. Because it implies that she is nothing mere than her physical appearance. So I guess you can only woo her by complimenting her grammar and organizational skills.
No more spontaneous passion. First, a You have to have the woman sign consent form, then get it notarized, then find three witnesses to sign off on it. By then the moment has passed.
Seriously though, Most people at a certain age who are single are too afraid to expose themselves to an intimate relationship . Got their heart broke in the past and they are still not over it. They come up with all kinds of excuses. Sure, they save themselves from heartbreak. But they miss the high of being in love. That fades after a while. And can be replaced by something deeper and more abiding.
Or it might not work out. There is risk in everything. Great rewards come with great risks.
 sibyll01
Joined: 7/1/2015
Msg: 215
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 7/28/2015 10:30:02 PM
The Good Old Happy Days Are Bye Bye. Gone for good as so much in our world has changed. But, in a serious look back in The Way Machine; how really "Happy" were those days? Some of the advertisements from the 1950's & 60's targeted to gender totally frighten the hell out of me!
Personally, I think there's a great opportunity present to re-define oneself, as many of the old gender based sterotypical roles & behaviors have been eroded or become obsolete. In an odd way, men & women have more freedom to express themselves as individuals. Change can be very difficult, very frightening, & after a certain age[old dogs/new tricks] sticking by "The Devil You Know" or a rote set of scripted behaviors can feel like the safest selection [even if it doesn't work]. What's romance? Romance is created from within & communicated in one's chosen expression of self to another. If you can't define "romantisim" within yourself; don't get irate when it[romance] is not provided for you by someone else. What you sow is what you reap.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 216
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/1/2015 6:12:48 PM

Modern feminism and PC killed romance. You are not supposed to tell a woman that she is beautiful. That is degrading to women. Because it implies that she is nothing mere than her physical appearance...

No more spontaneous passion...

Seriously though, Most people at a certain age who are single are too afraid to expose themselves to an intimate relationship . Got their heart broke in the past and they are still not over it. They come up with all kinds of excuses. Sure, they save themselves from heartbreak. But they miss the high of being in love. That fades after a while. And can be replaced by something deeper and more abiding.
Or it might not work out. There is risk in everything. Great rewards come with great risks.


I have men tell me everyday they think I'm beautiful--I have no problem with that--now Hot or Sexy ...that is to me more of a put down than a compliment. It misses so much of who I am and is like what Jon Stewart said about Caitlin Jenner.

Passion isnt restricted to romance, people who have flat-lined normally have flat-lined across all dimensions of life not just romance.

Most people use some sort of wall building to keep people at long distance-could be humor, satire, etc most are afraid of having real feelings --it is painful to have dwell deep enough to come to know yourself well enough to know who you are so you know what you are passionate about--or who you really would match in life.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 217
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/1/2015 6:22:09 PM
If a man tells a woman he thinks she is beautiful he may have an agenda of course. However, I would not see it as a put down. That is just silly. However if he comments on body parts that is a different matter altogether. I met on very attractive guy years ago from a dating site and I told him so. What is wrong with that? However all he wanted was sex as soon as.... and he was gone.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 218
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/1/2015 11:50:47 PM
pffttt. Haven't seen any romance in my neck of the woods in years. "let's just do it, You know you want it." Yeah, that's romance all right. Waiting....and waiting...and waiting.....
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 219
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/2/2015 12:49:26 AM
In my opinion, what has happened is that we live in an instant gratification society. Relationships are the equivalent of fast food. It's all about the hookup, and having many options (not putting all of your eggs into one basket). Not my thing.

For me, that's not satisfying, nor do I want to savor it (like a great meal). I enjoy putting my efforts into one lady. Spreading myself all over the place seems like running around like a chicken with your head cut off. No thanks.


@Msg.401: Welcome back Giggles(?)!
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 220
Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/2/2015 8:47:13 PM
Thank you Cooldog and I completely agree with you better focus attention for a special person than diverted attention to many--however, I noticed many people get fixated on attention so they want what I would call "fall back" people to land on if the person they really like doesn't return their interest...basically leading others on until their ship comes in...gosh I hate that but it's like people who can't be alone with quiet cause they don't like their own company. People give us clues about where they are in life-it's up to us to become wise enough to read them
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 221
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Whatever Happened to Romance/Courtship, etc.?
Posted: 8/2/2015 9:12:35 PM

men tell me everyday they think I'm beautiful--I have no problem with that--now Hot or Sexy ...that is to me more of a put down than a compliment. It misses so much of who I am

How is hot or sexy, in and of itself, missing any more about who you are as a person (good or bad) than beautiful or pretty? Any term, although easier with hot or sexy, can be said in "whoo hoo!" sort of way, like a used car salesman seeing a pretty gal walking down the road. All of the adjectives misses "so much of who I am" equally. Just the same as the man or woman who says nothing. In fact, the man or woman who says nothing misses Everything! :)
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