Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Any advice would be greatPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Don't allow some idiot to ruin your day. Nice try though Henry.
You are involving your son in activities and surrounding him with friends and family unfortunately there is not much you can do to make a man behave like a proper father. I second the idea of big brothers or even a church recreation group to give him some positive male role models.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Any advice would be great
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:44:52 AM
Not all people are out to nail their Exes to a cross Socrates. Sometimes the other person is simply immature or a bad parent. It happens. The OP does not appear to me to have any ulterior motives and is genuinely concerned about her boy. No need to make up details.
I am glad you had the opportunity to spend the day with your son. Continue to be there for him and encorage him daily to talk about his day and any concerns or fears he may have.
 Henry L. Moon
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 17
Any advice would be great
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:46:42 AM
For a woman that says she is only looking for advice to help her son, you sure have put a lot in about how pitiful you are and all about his father....I read very little about your son.....only about what you perceive his father has done to him. Maybe you and his father ought to work on getting along, for the boys sake.....after all you screwed him, you used to get along. But...you need "advice on how to deal with his LOSER father"......do you mean the "loser father' YOU opened your legs for ??????...do you mean the man that is half of what makes up your son?????? ( maybe this is the reason for his depression, because he realizes you hate half of him ) .....Do you mean the man that is now and forever part of your family??????.....I have no advice for you, but I think I understand why your son is so depressed.....maybe if you got more child support money from the Loser you screwed then your attitude would brighten up and your son would be right as rain!
Do you really think your story is unique?? It's time to become the woman your son needs you to be...you were NOT made to be a Mom because you got knocked up...that made you a bological mother....now become this boy's Mom, embrace the choices you made, why does your boy's fathers attitudes....whether good or bad...affect you at all??? It is much better for your son to find some accord with his father...STOP making this all about you and think of your boy! You wrote this just to "get off" on the man you made the boy with.....the child's depression was a secondary issue with you. He is the child now, Mom...you have to let that go and become the adult.....extend the olive branch and leave it extended..stop all the bullshit with "him swatting it away"...yes Mom, a relationship must have input from both parties...NOT what you tell him he can do. I doubt the father has issue with the boy, it seems he barely knows him. If he wasn't a loser while you were doing him then why is he a loser now?????? Growing up is never easy....but it's really fun once you get there. Pardon me if I take umbrage to male bashing couched in "maternal concern for a child"
 Henry L. Moon
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 18
Any advice would be great
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:48:17 AM
Being an idiot isn't all that bad a thing either
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Any advice would be great
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:29:13 AM
Good for you in being willing to check these things out.

Single parenthood is tough, and it is really tough when there aren't a lot of male influences.

You know you've done well, when your child says this is the best day of my life... Just keep adding those best days, and he soon will find his positive side.

I can't say I agree much with the personal bashing against you by two other posters, however it is important to alway TRY and keep and open line.

Life is always about choices, and it isn't just one sided...

As someone who has dated, and chatted (actually was research for psychology) with MANY MANY MANY MEN, there have been a very large number that begrudged having to pay a dime of child support, and those who figured out a way to not...They didn't have an issue in not being a father to their children...

Further more as I stated before, it is very possible the bigger issue is the GF, and for anyone to think that they would NEVER interfer with a father (parent) having a good relationship with their child, is to be in denial of how vindictive people think.

Personally I would want a response from the Father, NOT the gf, because she has an agenda, and alterior motives for keeping dad and son apart. Let's face it Henry, the burden of problems aren't one sided against MUM here either...
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >