Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > does the sex scale go down      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Mickey_2007
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 5
does the sex scale go downPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I believe in always keeping it fresh why not try role playing i find that's a good one.Also you can having sex in different places like a park at night of course change it up a bit maybe make him spank you because you have been a naughty girl ok i have way too many ideas but u get to point never make it boring.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
History
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:16:04 PM
Peoples sexual appetite varies; for some people 3x a day isn't enough; and for others once a week is too much; so your base sexual appetite is on you. People who are in a healthy, happy, sexual relationship can have satisfying sex several times a week, into their 70's and 80's. I know, at 18, that thinking of people in their 80's having sex may be physically disturbing; but trust me, when you're in your 80's you will see it as healthy and fun. Ask anyone in their 80's, and disguise the look on your face, LOL.

The quality of sex changes as you age; and as the relationship matures. Sex actually gets better as the relationship matures; but it becomes less about blind passion; and more about a healthy, loving, mutually satisfying, relationship. At 18 you are nowhere near old enough to be experiencing that yet.

If you love sex, and things are "not so hot", and your relationship is otherwise solid; then is the time to "spice it up"; and there is a thread on here with that exact title. Read it, and start there.

However, if you are unhappy with the frequency, or "feel" of the sex; then it's not about the sex; it's about some other aspect of the relationship; and whatever you do sexually won't fix that. Deal with the real issue; and the sex will improve.
 sleepsafe
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 7
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 7/24/2008 3:04:04 PM
Plebayo wrote "I think people fall too much into a routine. I'm a firm believer in mixing it up a lot, trying new things, lots of foreplay, and lots of different kinds of foreplay. Of course things start out hot, but with busy lives it's hard to keep the hottness coming and really easy to fall into a routine and get too comfortable."

So young and already so wise
 WhiteWaterRogue
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 8
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 7/24/2008 3:11:00 PM
Foreplay, how is that mixing things up? There isnt much time for that in public places.
 WhiteWaterRogue
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 9
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 7/24/2008 3:47:54 PM
Come on Cowboy, help-out the young lass...she is still a fingerling finding her way to the sea.

Couple of things, and these are not THE way to go about it, they they spice things up.

1. Make it ALL about you sometimes, and vise-versa. And I mean ALL
2. Do fantasies. Tell him "Friday I am gonna be your (you fill in the blank)" and of course vise-versa.
3. Develop multiple persona's. God I miss Lola...aaaahhhh! And role play with that.
4. Dont have sex for 10 days AT ALL(I cant beleive I am saying this! but it does work)
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 10
view profile
History
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 7/24/2008 3:55:56 PM
It only dies if you let it die! Hopefully you and your partner will desire each other enough, that you will get it when you have the urge for it! I would hope that a simple twinkle in your eye will tell him it's time!
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 11
view profile
History
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 7/24/2008 4:20:47 PM
I'd have sex with ya daily :P

Never had the opportunity for it to become anything other than special...
 STH III
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
History
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 7/24/2008 8:06:12 PM
when married for 23 years my sex life was pretty active but there is always some ups and downs as we go through life. In the beginning of relationships you usually screw each others brains out, its called lust and it wanes a bit after awhile.
 kickingfate
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 13
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 7/26/2008 8:30:45 AM
The hardest thing for some couples is not letting sex become a routine. Its up to both partners to try different things to keep the "spice' in the bedroom. Personally i think it comes down to communication..couples have to share there fantasies with each other, even if to them it sounds utterly ridiculous. You would be surprised how many people share the same or similar fantasies and never knew it. .. In this day and age when were all working our sorry butts off just to pay the bills , and stress levels are running at a 9.5 most days couples have to start seeing sex with there partners as there escape from the world..its the one time when you pull out the phone, shut off the TV , ignore what was in todays headlines and just be selfish with the one pleasure that the government hasn't been able to tax.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 14
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 2/16/2010 9:13:02 PM
Well if you're always waiting for him to ask...
and you never do...
That's exactly how it goes.

Don't ruminate.
initiate.

If you aint askin,
he probably thinks you don't like it that much.
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 15
view profile
History
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 2/17/2010 1:45:55 AM
In a healthy relationship, there is no reason for the sex to drop off so dramatically. I'm 50; and when I'm in an exclusive relationship, we tend to want sex at least once a day; sometimes twice. It's rare that we will miss a day; and that usually has more to do with scheduling than desire. There are a few major reasons for the sex to drop off; first, the sex wasn't that enjoyable anyway, health problems in one or both people; or serious relationship issues, not related to sex, that need to be addressed. Average in the United States is 2-3x a week. If you've dropped of to once a week, or monthly, there are some serious issues that need to be addressed.

As other posters pointed out; if you are in a healthy, LTR, the sex just keeps getting better. It's a beautiful thing to experience.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 16
view profile
History
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 2/17/2010 6:26:59 AM
windloverr is right on target. A significant drop is often a sign of some kind of problem, or perhaps a basic incompatibility that was earlier masked by hormonal lust.

We've been together over 10 years, and the sex does get better. Yes, the frequency has dropped - from about 20 times a week to perhaps 12 to 15, but we're also getting a little older here, pushing 50!
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 17
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 2/17/2010 6:41:11 AM
I think there are several stages in the sexual activity of a relationship.

First is the Honeymoon stage. That is usually a lot of sex and depending on the libido of the couple from several times a day to every time that they see each other. This unfortunately whines down to some sort of routine. And here is where they get in trouble, because he stops asking and she stops demonstrating, or when she wants it, he is not in the mood and vice versa. What couples need to realize that sex has to be an active quest. That both try to perpetuate by thinking outside of that box. When that happen they can discover unbelievable levels of intimacy and satisfaction that can only be achieve when you are with one person.
The one thing I would tell any one is to realize that sex does not start in the bedroom. It starts long before that.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 18
view profile
History
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 2/17/2010 7:11:44 AM
A man more famous than I, once said in a song...


If the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back.


 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 19
view profile
History
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 2/17/2010 2:01:21 PM

Do you consider it to become common after a long period with a person sex is not asked for as much?
NEVER in any of my relationships, as they always progressed to the point that we both knew each other so well that it was always pretty easy to push each others buttons, and knew when to do that so that there wasn't any guesswork. Also, none of my relationships involved any one partner using sex as some sort of "bargaining chip"; maybe as a guy I've been lucky in that respect.
 jepcom26
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 20
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 2/18/2010 11:32:40 AM
well the best way to curb the desire is to get married, i can only say and i speak bluntly, i often whack off as its more fullfilling than wanting sex with the other half.i dont see some other female in my range of being able to travel wanting to at least say hi and get a decent FRENDSHIP going.
 el lagarto
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 21
does the sex scale go down
Posted: 2/18/2010 11:40:12 AM
I've heard it said , that often when sex goes downhill , it's simply one of symptoms of other problems in a relationship that may not be getting attention .

I know for myself - when a relationship was really tight , and all was well - the sex was reliably good too - and vice versa

Could it be that maybe you love sex more than your partner ?
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > does the sex scale go down