|Too good-looking?Page 2 of 3 (1, 2, 3)|
|Doesn't it all come to down to confidence in yourself? And who's to say that there's someone out there who you make think is "too good-looking", but he likes someone who looks exactly like you. Why pass on that opportunity before you even know if it exists?|
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:19:13 PM
|Too good looking to date? |
Sounds like people who are insecure or who have bought into the nonsense of 'leagues' based on looks.
If some incredibly attractive woman is interested in me I'm not turning her away for that and I'll certainly be in to learn more. If she dumps me for someone better looking so-it-goes, po-tee-tweet. Why worry about such nonsense? If she likes me (and I mean me, not my money or something) there's got to be some reason and I'm not going worry about it.
Although maybe I've been wrong all this time... it's not that I am too ugly, I'm too good looking... that's why I get rejected online... yeah that's it :)
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:49:42 PM
|A lot of guys won't approach a really great looking woman. They think the odds are too much against them.|
I've always felt it hurt far less to be turned down by an "8, 9 or 10", than to be turned down by a "4, 5 or 6", so to speak.
And generally, very good looking women are in better moods that less good looking women. After all, they're usually in the middle of a great day of dealing with happier than normal people.
I once dated a model and she wanted our relationship to go deeper. I bailed out because I thought she was too good looking for someone like me. I thought she must be nuts. I was an idiot, because actually at that point my life was going quite well and we probably would have made a good couple (at least until she got her third divorce). Don't let poor self-image stand in your way.
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:54:35 PM
|There are really only 2 situations where a girl being "too attractive" will put me off.|
1. The pics look fake.
2. It's obvious that she's fending off a dozen guys at once, and I don't want to have to deal with fighting all of them for her attention.
Of course, the latter is a completely moot point if I feel that we have enough in common to really hit it off.
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:02:46 PM
|My philosophy is this any guy/girl can have any guy/girl they want period. People become intimidated by looks. Some people are so self conscious that they need to be with someone that its completely no where near them looks wise. My boy Alex and in the gym 6 days a week, he epitomizes the body most women wants and his gf is a mouse looking somewhat overweight girl. So in closing confident individuals can date someone that is more attractive then them, without the fear that they themselves are not capable of being in a relationship with that person based on looks. For an non-confident person its easier to date people that are not as good looking as you because then you insecurity doesn't roar its ugly head when the opposite part the hottie gets hit in a lot in front of you. I love dating girls that are "too" hot for me, and watching everyone around thinking "how did he pull that" it boosts my confidence. Other guys want a girl thats not so good looking around to boost his confidence and lower her self esteem even more.|
Posted: 7/20/2008 11:24:39 PM
|I dont date or not date anyone because they are too good looking. If I like someone I will ask them out and if they say yes, they say yes, if not then I move on. |
I think a person should never be insecure; be bold and ask someone out if you like them and see what happens. Looks fade; faster in some than in others.
Posted: 7/21/2008 12:55:21 AM
|Well generally I tend to try and go after girls who I think are more "in my league." Good to be realistic about that sort of thing. That said, if an incredibly hot girl expressed interest in me and we hit it off, I wouldn't say no!|
^^^^^^people usually go for what they perceive to be in their leagues - or perhaps slightly higher. i believe it's been studied and researched in psychology. humans aren't the only species who do it. it's very natural and very normal.
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:31:19 AM
while there may be underlying self confidence issues there is also a thing called reality....so yes while some of us would like to be dating miss or mr universe its not going to happen....i can live with that
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:41:54 AM
|I'm a very handsome man. But when I see a woman on POF that I want to talk to and she is very attractive/fit it sometimes bothers me because I am taking a risk concerning my ego. Since she's attractive she automatically gets alot of messages I wonder if I am going to get lumped in with all the rest of the messages. I have never heard of someone being too good looking.|
Posted: 7/21/2008 6:23:40 AM
|Well, to answer the question directly:|
Yes. I won't date an overly attractive woman ever again. In my experience they are way more insecure than most females even though (like their male counterparts) they come off as all that and a bag of chips.
Also, for the most part, a really attractive woman has more issues than time magazine. I once went on a date with a woman who worked at Yonge and Eglinton area. This woman was so hot that people in other areas of the city new about her (she worked in a bank as a teller and you could see her from the sidewalk). I'm serious. I was getting my haircut once at Scarborough Town Centre (back when I had hair lol) and the guy cutting my hair found out I worked in the area and asked me about her).
So anyways she says to me that she doesn't get asked out much because of her looks. I thought for a second before opening my mouth lol but me being me I said "dear? It isn't that you're really attractive, it is a) because you KNOW you're really attractive and that b) comes out in your attitude. You really do walk around acting like your shYte doesn't stink. She said she doesn't feel that way and I said yes, I know, it took me 3 months of meeting you for smoke breaks to find out that the attitude you project isn't snottiness, but shyness, but that isn't how it comes off........
Another point about really attractive women is they are too caught up in their appearance. I dated another very attractive women for 5 yrs and whenever she got dolled up when we were going out or when she bought something new, I'd compliment her on it. Then one time I was feeling under the weather and didn't react? Well, world war three broke out........Plus she never could grasp the concept that when I am with someone, particularly her, I just didn't find anyone else attractive. For 5 yrs she just couldn't grasp that concept.......
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:30:21 AM
I have turned down talking to guys because they are too good-looking for me
At least you can admit it. And thank you for doing so.
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:58:04 AM
|*For 5 yrs she just couldn't grasp that concept.......*|
You dated her for five years????
As another poster stated I tend to ask women out I think are in my own league. I'll admit I sometimes have the thought that "she's too good looking" for me.
But more so than that I find what most men would call an average looking woman much sexier than a dolled up beauty queen. An average looking woman is sexier to me because she looks real. She's probably more comfortable and secure with herself.
A couple I know went to Europe for their honeymoon. He told me the women out there use very little makeup compared to American women. They don't appear to be worried about their looks as much and they're gorgeous!
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:31:29 AM
|I hear this all the time...im a bartender, so of course I have bartender ears ..I get this conversation a lot....|
The people who are just to "fine" to get a date is complete BS. For ever guy who is afraid to approach a women, there is some idiot that will approach ANYONE. So its not that they CANT get a date, its usually that they are so fine they have the pick of the litter, so they can be picky as hell..
there is a women in my area, been on this site for about year and half, she is really pretty, and her profile is written really well....her first line is "i just want a nice guy"....which makes me laugh, cause im sure she wants more than "just a nice guy"...or she wouldnt be on here for the last year and half...
"I never get hit on"...another myth...women get hit on ALL THE TIME, its just they dont get hit on by who they WANT to be hit on....so in turn they feel like only "creepy" guys hit on them...so in turn they think nobody hits on them...
I will approach anyone, I could care less, BUT, if i see an attractive female with a bunch of friends, that is just suicide....you have to impress ALL her female freinds, or they will just laugh at you....
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:33:12 AM
*For 5 yrs she just couldn't grasp that concept.......*
You dated her for five years????
Yup. While it was the most tumultuous relationship I ever had it was worth it.
I know the ladies don't like this but being a mechanical type of guy I equate women to cars: The hottie I dated for 5 yrs was like a lamboghini Gallardo, she looked great, she was a wild woman in bed (handling), she made me smile, she made me laugh, she drove me nuts with the high maintenance, etc but she was worth it. I mean she couldn't understand that if you're driving a Gallardo, who would want to drive anything else?
(oh I'm going to get flamed for that, I know it lol).
The thing that bugs me about women these days, is that even the 1978 chevy caprice 4 door rust buckets are becoming just as high maintenance as the exotics. So my attitude is: if you going to have all kinds of trouble anyways, you might as well go for broke!
(I'm going to pay for that too lol). Believe me, I don't think of women as cars, but it's just a way to get my idea across...really, you're not cars, not even close.....though some do "drive" guys nuts heheheheheh
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:54:23 AM
|IF Isee something in a woman's eye that I want to reciprocate I'll introduce myself. Of course sometimes what I see in her eye is not what's really in her eye. Men date women, and if we get shot down there is no reason to think of it as anything but the little girl's loss. Life is far too frargin' short.|
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:36:46 AM
|There are plenty a woman I've never contacted, or otherwise approached because they're just too gorgeous. Intimidating and just not worth the embaressment.|
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:05:10 AM
|First off, wrong take on men with hard abs. As a gym rat myself, I can tell you MOST men with hot bodies are VERY insecure. They're at the gym because they want to feel good enough about themselves to function. Being out of shape for them will only bring them down. |
Secondly, looks are very subjective. I notice women thinking their thighs or butt is too big etc. and can't wrap their brain around the many of us guys LOVE women a little softer and thicker.
So...NO ONE is too good looking for you. If a man loves being around you for all the reasons you're you, then your looks and his will fade into one.
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:19:37 AM
On another note, I've met models who say they have trouble meeting someone sincere or meeting someone at all for a relationship. This is usually because first of all some people just go for them for their looks/fame or they are too scared to approach them.
That may be true but it might have something to do with their attitude also. (refer back to my post about the extremely attractive woman at yonge and eglinton). They may have the desire to meet a nice normal guy who will love them for who they are, not what they do, but do they actually entertain the option of meeting a regular guy? Would they give a regular guy the time of day? These forums are FULL of woman saying they wouldn't say boo to a guy they didn't find immediately attractive so how could a regular guy stand a chance?
Books, magazines, talk shows, radio shows etc are full of women saying they have trouble finding a guy. The problem isn't that they can't find a guy, I think the problem is they are looking for the PERFECT guy and he doesn't exist. I can't tell you how many friends of my girlfriends used to whine and complain about this yet when they were out with us, and guys approached them, they shot them down immediately.
I said to one of them once after a night out and she again was harping on not meeting any nice guys: I said "the man of your dreams came up to you tonight but you wouldn't give him the time of day...." She said: Well, I wanted to hang with you guys tonight I wasn't out to pick up someone" so I said "oppurtunity knocks, but you have to answer the fricken door"!!!!!
Another problem I've experienced with really attractive (and successful) women is that they feel they have to be a total b!tch in order to be successful. Well, that may be fine and dandy in the business world but you certainly won't attract any nice guys with that attitude......
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:48:00 AM
|I would have no problem approaching a good looking woman. Maybe I wouldn't be her physical type. But I wouldn't think that she is "too attractive" for me. Besides my success rate wouldn't necessary be any higher if I only approached average looking or "less attractive" women. Some average and below average looking women can be just as picky as good looking women are in terms of the physical types of men they would be physically attracted to.|
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:10:56 PM
|well i have have the same problem with women. i think the reason i do this is because all the hot women i have dated ended up leaving me or cheating on me. and i just don't want to deal with that again.|
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:14:29 PM
|I put no limits on whom I will date when it comes to hot but the other way around there are a few. |
Best of luck to everyone
Posted: 7/22/2008 12:50:38 AM
|I don't go after women I think are out of my league, I'm just terrified of it. It could be the crazy in me, but I just can't do it. Like most people here though I wouldn't turn down a beautiful woman if she came up to me.|
I believe, honestly, that I have an award winning personality, but the fact of the matter remains that when they see my picture and the "Few Extra Pounds" or whatever it is up there (yeah, few extra pounds my ass) they're going to make a decision. Maybe it's just American ideals but I can't for the life of me believe miss 130 lb gymnast is into the 250 lb computer guy. So I don't pursue it and while I said I wouldn't turn her down I'd be awfully suspicious.
Kudos to you dudes with more confidence, really. I'm more envious than you can imagine.