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 untamed one
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 2
How much does her income matter?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Just like the J Geils Band song , " First I look at the Purse " , classic rock btw , I'd like someone financially sound and fiscally responsible , within 15-20 K of me either side . Someone that when she opens the purse , you don't cobwebs or bats flying out and that can buy a dinner once in a while without too much drama .
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 3
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How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/21/2008 7:36:34 PM
It's how a woman manages her money that is important.

Achievement is also important, and while money often comes with it, it is not measured in monetary units.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 4
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:40:54 PM
Well for me if you work you are showing responsibility and drive. You are living by yourself paying your bills taking care of yourself. No one to lean on. I mean its not about the money on how much or how little what matters is what I already mentioned responsibility.

But I'd love to find a rich woman to "take care of me" any takers j/k

Best of luck to everyone
 crazyone77
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 5
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/21/2008 8:58:34 PM
to me it don't matter how much money someone makes as long as they are honest. i would really like to my partner to have a job. but everyone is different.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 6
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:43:55 PM
But I'd love to find a rich woman to "take care of me" any takers j/k


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Hun, most wealthy women are looking for peers...J/K or not.
 WpgGentleman2
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 7
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:00:40 PM
For people just dating for fun, people looking for something on the side, I doubt income matters at all.

For people looking more long term: I don't think it is so much intimidation that puts men off women who have much better jobs or much greater savings. Intimidation is something that happens before he asks her out, and before he asks her out he doesn't know those things. Also, intimidation of the man would mean the man breaking off.

It is that most women are highly resistant to "marrying down". When a man says the wrong thing, or she sees the wrong thing, he can see the sparkle go from her eyes, she leans back, and the conversation continues, but it is just a conversation. The wrong thing can be your occupation, where you live, or the sight of the car you drive.

The side effect of this is that, after a while, men eventually stop making an effort when he finds out she has a much better job or seems to have much greater savings. It's not intimidation so much as, "Why flog a dead horse?" Why waste effort when her mind is almost surely closed and there are so many other fish in the sea.
 WpgGentleman2
Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 8
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:03:29 PM
On the other side, she should have enough income to be self-supporting. Beyond that I'm not fussy.
 Sardonis
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 9
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:18:48 PM
As long as she makes more than me, I am cool with it.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 10
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:51:43 PM
The side effect of this is that, after a while, men eventually stop making an effort when he finds out she has a much better job or seems to have much greater savings. It's not intimidation so much as, "Why flog a dead horse?" Why waste effort when her mind is almost surely closed and there are so many other fish in the sea.



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Think you hit the nail on the head, Wp....except most men are loathe to admit it. You're right about most women too. Some are digging and some are women of means who are just plain turned off by a guy who doesn't appear to have much on the ball. It's just a turn off I almost can't articulate. In all fairness to men; however, if I were a man, I'd be just as disinterested in a woman with nothing going for her. I think women become more demanding re: expectations in a partner as the women become more educated. (Actually, I think that's been studied.)
 PunnchyRalphie
Joined: 10/20/2006
Msg: 11
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How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/22/2008 12:18:37 AM
As long as she makes enough that she would be able to support herself without the help of the guy in the relationship, then its enough. Money isn't that big of a thing and shouldn't be a main focus when looking at a partners credentials.
 Noobity
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 12
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How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/22/2008 12:39:42 AM
What's hers is hers and what's mine is mine until we move in together, so I have to assume that until that point she'll be able to take care of herself, and that's all I ask. I'm old fashioned in the regard that I think marriage is forever and that everything earned in a household goes to the household, so what we make is irrelevant as 2 people, it's all about the whole.

Financial responsibility is the most important thing, and personally I'm terrible with finances, I think I'd need to be with someone who could keep me in line more than anything else.
 thewalrusx
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 13
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/22/2008 5:54:12 PM
If she CAN be making money but is choosing not to (ie shes got four degrees and job offerings up the yahoo) then yes she should be contributing what she can. But just because she doesn't own a dime at the present doesn't mean shes not worth dating.

I don't even consider income level at all when searching.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 14
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How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/22/2008 6:16:21 PM
Most guys I know want a woman who earns in the same income bracket as him, but with him earning more than her. Too much more than her, and you worry she's a gold-digger. Too much less than her, and you worry that you're her cabana-boy. Less than her, and she might not feel protected. Does it make sense? No. But what about dating does?
 thewalrusx
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 15
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/22/2008 6:21:56 PM
Dude if you are worried about gold diggers I'd say thats your issue. Just because she can't make as much money as you doesn't mean she's unworthy of you. How about this: if you are together happy, and not starving, call it good!

Gold digggers are obvious, you can tell in the phoney way they act. And if you are not sure, ask a male friend, I'm sure he'd be able to tell.
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 16
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How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/22/2008 6:37:41 PM
The day women start paying my way in life is the day I'll care about what they make. The best I've been able to ever find are women that treat in kind on a semi-equal basis.

I don't want a woman for her money and certainly don't want a woman who wants me for mine.

It's like people that want to get next to really wealthy people. I ask them if they aren't cutting you a check, why do you care?
 allady63
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 17
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:34:29 AM
I like the way u think.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 18
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:47:41 AM
IMO women generally care more money than men do. I think most men don't care about money as long as a woman is able to support herself.
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 19
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 9/11/2008 10:12:46 AM


There are a few who don't care, and there are a few who have requirements of 75-100k per year. But yes, around here, there's a MINIMUM income level of 50k for the under 30 crowd.


Not that I care how much she makes, never have and never will...

...but 50K isn't that much.
 Vintage_Treads
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 20
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:12:02 PM
Income doesn't matter as much to me as the income/debt ratio does. I'd rather date someone making minimum wage and living within their meager means without debt, than someone who makes $100,000/yr, spends $110,000 each year, and owes $360,000. It's an exaggeration of course, but you get the picture.

If someone has been irresponsible and is not making an effort to correct the situation, it places an impedance upon the possibility of a serious relationship with me.
 JoeyD990
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 21
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 9/12/2008 1:33:35 AM
I think all of this talk of income on a dating site is disgusting. It takes all the fun out of dating and turns it into another mundane meaningless financial excersize. As if there aren't enough of those in our boring everyday lives of responsibility.

But here are my two cents anyways.
I think back in the day when gramps could go out an get any great job he wanted because women weren't clogging up the workforce it was great. Sure women could expect men to be the breadwinner because men could find a freaking job! (And for anyone who wants to accuse me of being sexist, don't waste your time.) But we don't live in that world anymore.

As far as I am concerned a woman has no business worrying about my income, and I have no business worrying about hers. I won't ask her for money and she better not ask me for mine. Simple as that. We are all equals here, or so modern culture would like us to think. Lets just have a good time and quit worrying about ****ing money.

I hate it when it seems like I am getting my credit checked on a date. BOOOORING!
 MX220
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 22
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:20:09 AM
I don't care what her income is. But I do care how she manages her money. If a woman my age can't manage her finances and is always low on cash at the end of the month or pay period that is too many red flags for me. There are some who make 40k and have more saved and invested than another who makes 100k.

There are dating sites that have a requirement field regarding income. It's a big turn off to view a great profile and then find she requires her date to make X amount of dollars.
 believemeornot
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 23
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:14:56 PM
The movie is Intolerable Cruelty by the Coen Brothers.
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 24
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How much does her income matter?
Posted: 9/12/2008 8:26:13 PM
For me it has less to do with income and more to do with money management and how goal oriented she is.
 androgynousvon
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 25
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:46:32 PM
I can't bite my tongue on this one. Irrespective of gender, it's nothing to do with who pays, who marries up/down, or any of the other things people have stated. It's a matter of plain old respect. How on Earth can you respect someone who has no ambition, no tenacity, no decent values, no education, etcetera??? It's beyond belief. I sometimes wonder if all these similar responses are truly reality (one definitely wonders given so many similar responses, yet can't quite make sense of it) or are they a mere reflection of the types of people who post on these boards? There is absolutely no intent to offend or denigrate...I just don't get the mentality. Same thing with "looks." I literally almost cannot believe someone would go for another person based mostly on looks. I cannot fathom being attracted to even a Fabio look alike if he had nothing else going for him....and it wouldn't matter if I had 20 billion bucks in the bank. It's just a total turn off and I can't believe men would feel any differently. I don't get it...and I probably never will. Am I the only one who thinks this way???
 sandraMac
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 26
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 9/13/2008 4:50:29 PM
What if her income is far less than yours? Is that an issue? What if she was out of the workforce for a while and is back in. It's hard to make a decent income when you were out for almost 10 years.
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