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Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 22
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What To Do? Kids Body Part NamingPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
You avoid the situation by not focusing on a biology lesson. My children know the appropriate names and those that have been through the 4th grade, have had the total spiel about reproduction. Outside of telling them what each part is and answering questions when they arise, we refer to things as private parts. Perhaps because I have both girls and boys but unless something specific needs discussion, private parts covers whatever we need to discuss here.

Dude, no one thinks poorly of you and you shouldn't be concerned about what others think anyway, just if your daughter is getting other stupid sh*t like her "friend" is going to come and all that garbage. My mother told my eldest brother that he had a tallywhacker because she didn't like the word penis. She listened to a lecture from a parenting expert (nothing else stuck apparently ) but he recommended that they know the proper names so my mother corrected her mistake.

So, my brother runs around the duplicate bridge tables that night telling everyone that he doesn't have a tallywhacker anymore, it is a penis. Most parents go through embarassment with this. What your wife is doing is not going to land your daughter in therapy. You have already asked her to use proper names and she chooses not to, if your daughter knows the appropriate name don't worry about it. Anything that comes up can be dealt with at that time.

What you should be worried about is what you tell this girl when she approaches puberty which now happens frequently by the age of 10. The sex education is going to fall to you and you need to know how to talk to her about her period so if you don't have the information buy some books and talk to your gal pals or female relatives. You should also have a conversation about dating, such as if a guy is turning into an octopus when you are on a date, do whatever you need to to get away from him. Many girls find themselves in date rape situations because they take the time to consider whether they will look like a fool to the boy. If you discuss this, it is a thought process she doesn't have and she just worries about taking care of herself rather than how she will look.

Personally, I have found rarely it necessary to talk about my daughter's vagina and am quite pleased that these conversations have been few and far between. If your kid isn't asking you, don't worry about it. Correct her when she uses the wrong term and get better jokes that won't be misunderstood. She really doesn't need to know that in addition to a good gal, you are really interested in the girlfriend of the girlfriend.

Your child is also learning what all children do, that there are different rules, terms, situations with different people. While it is good to have the same rules, disciplinary measures, etc. between the two households, this rarely occurs at 100% and the kids adjust just like they know that there are certain behaviors that will or won't be tolerated at grandma's versus at your house, for example. Just like with kids you need to pick your battles with the X, this shouldn't be one of them, it is a blip on the big picture of trying to coparent your daughter and you should save your energy for bigger fish.
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