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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!      Home login  
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 47
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!Page 7 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I know where your comming from, my wife died and it's been 9 years and I still cry over her loss. However you do have one good thing to think about, the **** is still alive and the guy that took her is stuck with her I hope and ruining his life. Hopefully he is running around with girls younger than him and now your ex knows what a **** she is.
Good luck finding a new and better woman, sounds like the better part wouldn't be hard but finding one is a problem however.
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 48
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/13/2007 4:29:34 PM
I stopped hurting inside when it finally dawned on me - that I had hurt inside the entire 20 years. Not *just* since she went off into the wild blue yonder. The ENTIRE 20 years.

I read this somewhere ...

“I bless you with love and I release you from my life”.

I more or less said that last August and .................. STOPPED picking up the phone when she called. She called often and came over once in a while.

What I actually said was “so long my old friend”. We were actually friends - I just made it a NO CONTACT kind of thing.

Sure .... I am alone but ..... I was ALWAYS alone and rationalized it away for all those years.

It is one heck of a lot easier to be alone (be by myself) that to be alone in the same house your spouse lives in. To be alone when she was 25 foot away. To know for all those years ... I really was not all that important to her.

We have to accept the fact that ...... it is none of our business anymore.

We have to become more interested in the future - the possibilities of the future.

We have to draw the curtain shut on the past.

We have to learn - be reminded - to become the best person we can be. We need to do that for not only ourselves but for the other person that very well may come into our lives someday.

We have to “have love” in order to “give love”
 Audial Liaison
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 49
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/16/2007 10:37:19 AM
Your not the only one, there are many feeling this absence. Im sorry to hear what has happened to you, many could learn from your situation, sometimes, you feel as if you yourself are meant to be a living example so other can learn from, and not have the same result. Faced with imaginary realities like that, you feel hopeless and its totally understandable, yet not a reality. You have much more to give, yet you like many, are not able to see it, and perhaps never will. It is something only a significant other can really make you see by acknowledging it within you.
Your tears are a release, a release of the pain that washes over you day by day, and builds up to a point, you absorb it like a sponge with each passing wave, and then release it at night, only to allow yourself of pain and function yet one more day after. Coasting on fumes it feels like as the hollowness itself, begins to fill you with an absence of the world.

the only thing that can counter this, is hope, and self appreciation.

"I never wanted much from life...oh thats what i got"

Do not lose hope, it is the only fabric strong enough to hold together the weakened threads of your existence.
Online is good, but dont give it the pedestal it might appear to have because so many use it from many locations.

we are all victims here,...some of ourselves.
Dont give up hope my friend,...

this message brought to you by: Someone, who has become quite dark
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 50
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 3/31/2008 5:00:20 PM
I totally understand....My exwife, whom I was married to for 21 yrs, was my best friend all of those y ears...has been gone for 6 months....She chose a bar, and several guys over me.....

I still cry at night all the time....Cry at work on occasion...Not a good thing, because of my work environment....and actually, I am crying right now....

I miss her....really do....but after 6 months, I miss just having someone I can care for, someone I can spend time with, someone to talk to....dont know if I cry because of her, or if I cry because I am so lonely....
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 51
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/1/2008 3:09:01 PM
Well my wife of 23 years out of the blue told me she had filed for divorce and wouldn't even give me a reason. It started out she had the kids but a drinking problem she acquired after the divorce led to her losing the kids to me. I admit there were tough times but you know what? You have your kids like I do and that makes it all worth it to me. Anymore I see her for what she is A big loser! Yes a female would be nice but thats actually more of a want rather than a need. I focus on my children and then if I have free time me.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 52
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/1/2008 3:38:26 PM
well... I can't even imagine how much that must hurt... I've experienced loneliness and I still do, it sucks. I will tell you one thing though, if you want to find another woman, BE STRONG! Depression is a repellent for women, and if they see your sadness you're done. You have to MAN UP and ACT STRONGER THAN YOU ARE! That's about the best advice someone less than half your age can give you :P Good luck man.
 forever always
Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 53
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/5/2008 11:29:19 AM
I am 58 just turned and I have looked for someone since I have been 19...been married more than once and the last husband who became my ex married 6 months later and 6 weeks later me was found hung. The woman he wanted sorry to say didn't want him and all that for nothing except 165,ooo life insurance policy was ruled a suicide so she got nothing and then had to prove who the father to her brand new baby to get support from 3 different men including my least now he can't hurt anyone any more. But what a sad ending to a man who got what he deserved and they always say you reap what you sow. But this is not the whole story...the worst is also the last. I had a man from texas contact me last nov and he said he was born and raised there and was a citizen but now lives in the uk. He wrote a wonderful christian letter 2 pages and said he wanted to trnasfer back to the states where he was from. He wrote to me on my yahoo account as I don't own a computer and I can get my mail at work. So to answer back I went to check his account data and I could not find it where...I even thought I dreamed him up but he said it was from singlesnet and he got off to write to me as he thought I was worth it to freeze his account...but to write I would have like to kow sme knowledge just to be able to have converstaion than to ask him all opver again what your profile would have said and not look totalally stupid since I did not keep his account...act...who would have thougth it would not still be there...hmmm...any way he wrote ask any questions and he would answer...well 5 months later with emails once a week to once a month and then I m's he finally came through with an address and no number to call and the adress belongs to the london times newspaper so he either lives in the broom closet or on the roof ...does he not think american woman are that despersate or lonely to not check since I really know nothing more about him than what he wrote in that very first letter. His name is victor christian 48... 12 13 59 with a son victor whi is about 20. He said he sent me flowers fro my birhtday in mar but the flower comp in conn. called me and I called back to talk to a man unidentified or even the shop's name who takes orders over thecomputer and the flowers were sent to a lady in nj with mjy phone number and his son's email address and it was credit card fraud and since I wrote to him and said thanks so much for the flowers I never got and this scam really does belong to you since you had my phone number and it was your own son's emial if you are not to blame thenyou are as quilty as you provided the now no mail in 2 mohts im once in a while as he is I wasted all that time on a credit card fraud with someone who says he does not know what I ma talking sorry for the person who got billed for my flowers and I am sure for more than that...scared of people now...
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 54
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/13/2008 11:05:24 PM
umm do what i do... get a really stressful job or two and believe you me you very quickly forget about the loneliness and your ex teehhehehehe. But in seriousness just be active. It took me like a year and a half to get over my ex to the point where i didnt think about it everyday and althought its been more then two years and yet not even a date i don't see it as loneliness I just see it as being alone but I am not lonely cos i cherish my family and wonderfull friends that i have :-) hang in there I am sure it will get better.

And as for the job, for real it helps! I've been at this stressful job plus my part time job and havent thought about the ex in ages, i just think about my job too much LOL
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 55
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/16/2008 9:50:16 AM
I know just how u feel, sometime i want to scream and pull my hair out or even worse end my life, but, i dont want to leave my kids without a daddy just because their mom is a b**ch you know. After 5 years of marraige she just up and decides she dont love me anymore, i am still angry with her for taking me away from my kids, but, hey i got to get up and push on everyday and hope one day i will find someone that will love me and stand by mean even if times get rough and will be willing to work things out. So hey buddy keep your head up, dont let one woman get u down.
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 56
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/18/2008 12:42:31 AM
I'm sorry; sounds like your in a tough spot; I dont know what your asking but now you can wipe away your tears, use this weekend to get a plan to make things better. Think of social things you can do, or even online things you can do to be more social. Remember, if you tell people this or if you emit sad vibes, no one wants to be around a downer. Its going to be hard but their is hope. At your age dont expect magical Romeo and Juliet things, but there is plenty of hope. Its up to you and if you put in the effort, you will do well. You are the answer to your problem, not crying alone. Good luck!!!
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 57
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/18/2008 9:44:20 PM
women women women ,is that all the world cares about? honestly if all they want is money and other things that i wont bring myself to say then you would be happier living in the gutter than being with one i can assure you,i hope this makes sense,i have been single for eight years and have only slept with prostitutes and i am much happier with the way i am now and really dont mind if i end up in the gutter,the thing with women is they have this curtain that they put up and they try to make out that they are perfect all because they can give birth,THEY ARE HUMAN and if they ever make out that they arnt like saying that they dont fart and things like that then just give them the flick,just because they ripp out your heart does not exclude them from the negitives that life equally offers and if you looz the battle you still learn,so who really wins?
 hudson hutch
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 58
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/18/2008 11:55:57 PM
hey dont cry anymore brother..
your kids needs you to be strong for them..
and be lucky and thankful you got'em..not him/her
go out.. find a hobby.. play baskeyball.. keep taking care of yourself..
dont cry lonely.. thats patha..
remember the best revenge is picking life right after.. let them seee you living life without them..

(i dont remember how the saying goes.. but its something like that)

do some push up..

most importantly.. hangout with the kids.. find stuff to do with them all the time..
no matter what age they are..

dont give up!
Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 59
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 4/19/2008 7:45:37 PM
Keep swinging.Man it hurts i can relate.Just get out there and be FUN!
No kidding.Tell jokes.Not dirty ones.I think i screwed up just now.
BE FUN!...FUN FUN FUN !JOKES are #1 but not to many.Not in one day.Move around alot.
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 60
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:58:14 PM
If you truly have God in your life, you are never "ALONE" I believe most are in the state of needed love from another to fill an emptiness. It is something I will avoid in a person because I don't want to be someone's savior of loneliness because it becomes a mental draw on me. I look for females that are truly happy with themselves and have love to give because they want to...not because they need it back. ..and I do the same. If you people are crying it is because something is not right with you. Fix you first and be happy with yourself, by yourself. You'll be able to give more of yourself that way. A good way to start is making friends of the opposite sex. Friends Love affection and companionship too. Friends are always happy when you call and are thinking of them. Be a giver...and you won't be thinking of yourself so much.

Hope that helps some of you

Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 61
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:10:58 AM
If u really want to get over it. find something to do that you like, that takes time. Go to Church often and surround yourself with loving people. I just lost my wife of 53 years. she wasn't sick or anything. She just died in her sleep one night. this was my second wife so there is always someone that God has for you. think positive.
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 62
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:39:14 PM
Oh, this is a great posting. i wish the man i am going to say this about isn't going to read my posting BUT he is. Now this is pathetic. i have 2 children 2 an 5. my son is autistic. I am raising my children and taking away paternal rights. i am either going through some financial disagreement for me gettting sued, litigation or court. Luckily, short but sweet, not to get into detail , my ex does not take his meds, he tried to commit suicide in the USA when we were married and he was locked up in the crazy hospital....and still doesn't take his meds lives in Canada and is a British citisen.

So, i let this man into my life. I watch how many people's fav list he is on....
It jumped from 106 to 96 and then 2 roses were missing. No roses or gifts went to me.
So, I told him off, or cursed him out...he blocked me. I callled him on his cell and told him that yo can't just treat me as trash and discard me like this. Since then. He has e-mailed and called. I called back. He e-mail and said that i am not right for him and am nasty to people. i e-mailed him told him he is mean to keep his 100 friends not call me don't bother me and leave me alone.

so what does he do? he calls. yeah. blocks me on POF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!on the e-mail tells me that i am not right for him and then calls. has his 100 friends...........
i told him to leave me alone that he has 100 friends and he does NOT need me!!!!!!!!
he is meaner then my husband was and hurt me more
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 63
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:29:58 PM
Imagine how your children feel! Wipe your tears and focus more on their feelings! From one full time parent to another.. what your wants are now truly don't matter! It's all about them!
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 64
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/21/2008 12:18:43 AM
I know this an old post, but I see a lot of guys who have written feel the same way you do.

My wife of 14 years died a few days before your original post. At the time, I thought I would never be able to continue living but every sight of my then 10 year old was a shot of why I had to be strong.

I cried a lot initially but today, seeing how I have managed over three years as a single Dad to a kid whose mother is not there from something that is not his own doing I can honestly say that the kid has and continues to be my strength. You need to see the challenge of raising your kids as a source of strength for moving on.

You wife took off, you have the kids, you are lonely... Step outside the box and look at the positives. She did not deserve you. Stop the victim mentality because contrary to what some may say here, Victim mentality turns 99% of women off. Most women what a strong take charge man. Do not take this the wrong way, as I am not in any way asking you to go and re-take your wife, but if you change your ways, sometimes old lovers come running back. If you were the clingy needy and unassertive person that your profile says, then you contributed to your wife leaving.

Change your profile, become less of a wuss

Create a role model for your kids. You can and should make your life the focus and not let your ex-wife's actions rule your potentially bright future! Remember, life is waht you make of it.
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 65
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 7/25/2008 2:59:37 PM
Been there it does get better. Soon those memories will fade and you will make new ones. Not to say that you may not experience heart again a few times before you find the right person. Good luck in your search for the one...
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 67
to all
Posted: 9/17/2008 6:07:40 PM
i am 47, was married for 20 years, and she up and left. we have 2 kids, they were 13 and 15 at the time. one son and one daughter, leaha, my daughter is the youngest. being a single parent is tough, and its hard to explain to them why mommy left. granted, they were not babies, but my daughter started her period 3 days after she left.
having been with many women before i got married, i knew something about it, butim not a woman, so i was in a bad situation. i told her it will be alright, i know what your going through. she was crying, dried her eyes, looked me dead in the eye, and said DAD, YOUR AN IDIOT! talk about a reality check. the point behind that is, at least i was there for her, and all you single parents deserve a pat on the back. through my kids, and lonely nights, all i can offer is what i did, not the "fix-all" solution. i turned to myself, and said, my kids are getting older, and will be gone before long, so what do i need to do.... answer..... take this lonely time, and better myself, in anyway possible. i played guitar more, became a much better parent, have alot more self esteem, and now have alot more respect from family and friends. so i havent met the "right one" yet, its not a big deal, for 2 reasons. i am happy with myself, and i wont settle for second best. the lonely nights are no more. i maybe alone, but im not lonely, because i have the greatest person on earth helping me..... ME! time does heal wounds, but seems shallow at first, but it does, trust me. keep busy in your work, if your kids are grown, go back to school, grants are out there. improve yourself, which in turn will improve the way others view you. every time you feel that lonely feeling, you should be realizing its your time, and dont waste it being lonely, improve yourself. if you jump into something right away, chances are it wont last. sometimes what your looking for is something you have been tripping over for years, so get to know yourself, and those around you better... heres just one thing i did, but you can think of many things to do given your indivual circumstances.... i had one person at church that couldnt speak, and very few people related to her. she probably felt alone, so i learned sign language so i could talk to that one person, and make her feel wanted, and a part of it all... and ill tell you the truth, it made her so happy she cried, and i cried with her, because i now had a friend that not just anyone could have, and i proved it to her by working at it. and that time learning sign language filled up alot of lonely nights.... im sure anyone who reads this, can think of something like it to reach out to someone, or better theirself in some way...time only moves in one direction, so make every moment count. im sure others will give advice to, and sort through it all and find out what works, and do it, dont live in the past, or you wont have a present or future....hope someone got something from this...
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 68
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I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 12/31/2008 2:48:42 AM
Well, bestfriendetc I must say that was very well writen but you do have a wonderful talent when it comes to writing and being a true friend. I wish you much happynes, and a great and wonderful New Year with many plesant twists and turns, so that you never have a dull time. People I have met bestfriendetc she is wise beyound her years, and will be a true friend if you don't abuse the friendship.
 Mr. Perfetc
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 70
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 8/8/2009 4:13:56 PM
Looking back, was she realy that wonderfull? left you AND the kids? what a Bi***. Listen, it will all be worth it when you know you are a real hero. When you are down just feel lucky you didn't lose the kids to the self centered ykw. There are alot of people out there grieving some incredibly terrible things: losing a child, extreme financial hardship, diseases, wars, child soldiering, the list goes on, and are sometimes combined for some. I am grateful that i finally woke up when i did and can salvage the rest of my life. I've never expected a lot from life, I am making it. You'll wake up someday and wonder why you wasted so much time crying. Suck it up buttercup. As I was told. We all lose that favorite toy in our lives replace it. Love someone who deserves you. Women love guys that take the kids, wear your burden with honour and pride, brother. And for God's sake stop your blubbering!
 Mr. Perfetc
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 71
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 8/8/2009 4:15:25 PM
by the way 31 is still very young, you can still get chicks in their twenties.(basta**).LOL
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