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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Women's Financial Status      Home login  
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 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 326
Women's Financial StatusPage 14 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)

Sinbad, the comedian, said "a guy will date the woman behind the McDonald's counter but, vice versa, oh hell no!!"


And the female gender is somehow to blame for this?

Just because men will supposedly do something doesn’t mean we have to. I won’t scratch my crotch in public either, boo hoo.

I’ve seen better standup, too.

 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 327
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/15/2012 11:46:03 AM

Sinbad, the comedian, said "a guy will date the woman behind the McDonald's counter but, vice versa, oh hell no!!"


That hasn't been my experience. Now that my career is starting to take off, I find that I'm attracting a much better quality of men than I did when I was a starving student.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 328
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/15/2012 11:52:46 AM

Just because men will supposedly do something doesn’t mean we have to.


Yet when one of us make the same kind of statement or say we have decided not to engage in that kind of behavior anymore we get slammed for that as well.
See message #403 and the slam in message #404 in this thread.

Some here want it to be a gender war no matter what even if it has nothing to do with that.

I have learned in the last 18 months that I would rather be single even if I met a lady that is ready to actually contribute to the living expenditures on a 50/50 basis.

So there is not a chance that I would take on one with liabilities that she can't tend to.

That does not mean I am against the female gender or I wouldn't like to date a lady on a regular or even exclusive basis.

It simply means I am not interested in supporting or living with a lady that expects me to supplement them so they can live a lifestyle that they couldn't afford on their own.

In other words I would only want a lady that can bring to the table the same amount of attributes that I do.
 cariboolady1
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 329
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/15/2012 1:25:02 PM
Well, you can't fight Mother Nature and DNA...no matter how hard social engineering in every generation tries to.
It took over 10,000 years of evolutionary perfection to make the modern human. It also took over 10,000 years of the males bringing home the mammoth, fighting wars to protect the females and having his status dependent on being a warrior/protector and provider for any DNA from that long a period to be erased in one single generation.
The females were admired for their physical attributes (breasts and hips) for the purpose of sustaining the human population. They did contribute to the population by gathering berries, nuts and small things. Like gardening. They also did the "looking after the home fires".
Nothing much has changed today. I spent most of my marriage cooking, cleaning, gardening and looking after the home fires. I spent 4 years in a realtionship with a man who wanted to be "equal". I worked outside the home bringing in the "mammoth" PLUS I ended up looking after the "home fires", cooking and cleaning and gardening.
He just couldn't get himself in order to do it, too. It was "Awww....sorry, hun, I forgot..."
Now? I have a private pension, work part-time and will do so until I am 70, maybe if I am lucky to reach that. I am eligible for a nice CPP pension when I elect to take it. I am comfortable and will still be bringing home a small mammoth.
I expect him to be comfortable financially, too. Plus, be able to look after the home fires, too.
Maybe, I am expecting too much. :)
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 330
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/15/2012 2:51:24 PM

The same way men get evaluated for their financcials, women get evaluated on their looks. It's just too bad, isn't it? You can't fight city hall!


That might be your reality, but it is not my reality.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 331
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/15/2012 4:11:50 PM
Isn't it more about values--I have seen very rich successful men with women who aren't that good looking but the man saw a value in her that might not appear to our eyes--so to make a blanket statement that women get evaluated on their looks is not entirely true--some people might use looks but other might choose to use something else such as their intelligence, the kindness, etc.

If a man who worked at McDonald's made me happy--why wouldn't I date him? If a man worked making 6 figures and made me happy --why wouldn't I date him? The issues is dating a man, who makes what they consider money, only for their money--what a burden those poor souls have--not knowing is someone likes them for themselves or their money ><

It is true that some women only want a man who has financial success--but it also true that some women see other things as equally or even more important than a man's financial standing. One man who hated his job had it down to how many more minutes he had to work and it was over 13 years--I had no desire to be in his life while he hated every minute he would be working--

I'd rather be with a poor happy man than a rich **stard any day!
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 332
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/16/2012 8:33:38 AM

I'd rather be with a poor happy man than a rich **stard any day!


I would rather be with neither of them.. I would not be happy with a poor man since chances are we would pretty much be living a confined life.. A rich man that was not a nice person also would not appeal to me.. I will take theveru nice man that makes a good living.. He is the one that is right for me..
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 333
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/16/2012 10:38:31 AM

The same way men get evaluated for their financcials, women get evaluated on their looks. It's just too bad, isn't it? You can't fight city hall!

That reminds me “Gentlemen Prefer Blonds” movie, when Marilyn Monroe's character said: “A rich man is like a pretty girl. You don’t marry her just because she is pretty, but that sure does help”. (I think I remember the quote correctly word by word)
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 334
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/16/2012 11:57:23 AM
Just curious, since it seems like
1) a lot of men would like a woman to pay her way on vacations and entertainment,
2) but at the same time to be financially secure and self sufficient with her assets.


Why are these deemed to be mutually exclusive?
I do BOTH.
 Rhacey
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 335
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/16/2012 12:36:04 PM
Well I am pretty sure most woman have been paying there way before they meet someone ...and then after I am sure most woman would love to contribute to a relationship ..I also think everyone contributes in different ways ....in fact many ways ...
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 336
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/16/2012 6:32:09 PM

I think what is more important though is lifestyle and that often goes hand in hand with your financial status..I simply would not date a man that could not afford to do too much.. I would hate to be out enjoying my passions while he had to sit home and think about it.. Let's face it works much better when your partner can afford what you can..



Well, you can't fight Mother Nature and DNA...no matter how hard social engineering in every generation tries to.
It took over 10,000 years of evolutionary perfection to make the modern human. It also took over 10,000 years of the males bringing home the mammoth, fighting wars to protect the females and having his status dependent on being a warrior/protector and provider for any DNA from that long a period to be erased in one single generation.
The females were admired for their physical attributes (breasts and hips) for the purpose of sustaining the human population. They did contribute to the population by gathering berries, nuts and small things. Like gardening. They also did the "looking after the home fires".



I'd rather be with a poor happy man than a rich **stard any day!

I would rather be with neither of them.. I would not be happy with a poor man since chances are we would pretty much be living a confined life.. A rich man that was not a nice person also would not appeal to me.. I will take theveru nice man that makes a good living.. He is the one that is right for me..



The same way men get evaluated for their financcials, women get evaluated on their looks. It's just too bad, isn't it? You can't fight city hall!

That reminds me “Gentlemen Prefer Blonds” movie, when Marilyn Monroe's character said: “A rich man is like a pretty girl. You don’t marry her just because she is pretty, but that sure does help”. (I think I remember the quote correctly word by word)



Well I am pretty sure most woman have been paying there way before they meet someone ...and then after I am sure most woman would love to contribute to a relationship ..I also think everyone contributes in different ways ....in fact many ways ...
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 337
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 6:04:57 AM
If you ask ; you buy. That's pretty simple.


It's also BS, since most women take the passive role and expect the man to do all the asking. I much prefer to date women that open their purses when the check comes and ask what their share is.

I really don't understand where this notion comes from that inviting people to an event obligates you to foot the bill. I don't do that with my friends. It is the case when I'm dealing with suppliers in business, but that's it.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 338
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 6:25:54 AM
@msg 422.............Paderic, do you really ask an attractive woman to a nice dinner and expect her to whip out her wallet?


I would suggest reading what people post more carefully.

I prefer to date women who pay their share WITHOUT BEING ASKED. They volunteer it.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 339
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 6:48:02 AM
As Dr. Phil would say, "how's that workin' for ya?" I usually volunteer to pitch in, but my date shrugs it off.:) But it's not usually a 5 star restaurant.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 340
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 6:49:24 AM

It's also BS, since most women take the passive role and expect the man to do all the asking. I much prefer to date women that open their purses when the check comes and ask what their share is.



Umm, Pad, you did just post the above which to me indicates what you expect of a woman?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 341
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 7:52:00 AM

As Dr. Phil would say, "how's that workin' for ya?" I usually volunteer to pitch in, but my date shrugs it off.:) But it's not usually a 5 star restaurant.


Very well.


Umm, Pad, you did just post the above which to me indicates what you expect of a woman?


Expecting it and asking for it are two different things. Asking someone to pay their share is crass.

I meet quite a few women who contribute to the cost of dating. I continue dating them. I stop dating women who do nothing when the bill arrives. I do not want a relationship where I'm expected to bankroll everything we do, so I seek out women who do not expect it. It's really quite simple.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 342
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 8:01:52 AM
Come on Moonie.....being creative and different, making you work on expectations some, is half the fun........no matter who is paying for what......lol

Why do we have to have a line drawn in the sand on this topic, and not just say...."let's all look for and enjoy equality"......unless of course, the cost for drawing that line needs to be decided upon as to who will pay for it......;)

cd
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 343
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 8:08:17 AM
Mr. Deac! I totally concur with what you say. I myself have never really had an issue with this except for one time. A fellow asked me out, made clear it was dutch before we met up. I was fine with that. The thing that got me was that at least 3 times during lunch, he commented on our going dutch. I thought if he mentions that one more time, i will throw some money on the table and walk out. We go for a stroll after, looking in some tiny shops. I bought a doggy outfit for my chihuahua and he gave me chit? I am wondering why this man is on my case about how "I" spend "my" money? No repeat performance on that one let me tell you! lol
Other than that, the dates I have had, some pay, somtimes dutch, sometimes my treat. No biggy to me really. Just that some in this thread are like a dog with a bone in their stance that they wouldn't be open to seeing things differently.
 cariboolady1
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 344
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 9:38:38 AM
In my dating experience, SOME men can call the "equality" card all the way and find some women who take it. They are, I find, naturally cheap and stingy with everything about giving anyways. For an experiment, I decided to go that route with a couple of men I dated and see what they were actually made of in the end. I initiated dates, made dinners and they came with either nothing under their arms....or...took home the dessert and wine they brought because it wasn't used!!! They LOVED the idea of equality and used that card to pay next to nothing for anything.
Both men were doing very well financially. I dumped both. Experiment concluded. Solution? Go back to dating men who want to do what most males find comfortable doing.
I found that most men are more than willing to buy your coffee, drinks, lunch or dinner. In fact, most men insist on it and feel very uncomfortable on the first or second dates to let a woman pay for anything. I understand and allow them to do so.
I believe it comes down to the instinctive steps of natural courtship. It's built into most of us.
When a man plays the "equality" card on first date, he's done...but then....he ususally never gets to first date. You can tell by the way he words things when you initially talk that he is "cheaper than chips".
Argue all you want.....science has proven that men and women are DIFFERENT and that we have DIFFERENT stimuli and responses....especially in the dating game.
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 345
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 10:10:02 AM
I cant believe this Threads still going,lol!

I remember when i was dating,i had a first date with a guy which went on for over 5 hours.
We started with drinks and we took it in 'turns' to shout - ok.(Ie: he paid for our 1st drink,i paid for our second,etc).
Then,we decided to stay on for dinner as we seemed to be getting along rather well and the conversation was flowing and again,we went dutch - ok.
Chat,chat,laugh laugh............you get the picture.......well,we left the bistro and ambled down the street for a late-night coffee and all the while im thinking,"I really like this guy!"
There's always a "but",isn't there...............?
While i was in the Ladies' room,the check came for our two coffees which equalled the Grand Total of $7.60 and i found my date trying to work out what i owed him..............
THERE WAS NO SECOND DATE and not coz he was lousy at maths
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 346
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 10:11:13 AM

They are, I find, naturally cheap and stingy with everything about giving anyways. For an experiment, I decided to go that route with a couple of men I dated and see what they were actually made of in the end. I initiated dates, made dinners and they came with either nothing under their arms....or...took home the dessert and wine they brought because it wasn't used!!! They LOVED the idea of equality and used that card to pay next to nothing for anything.


Indeed that is what happens when you accept that kind of dating.. Just what kind of man do you get? A man that is stingy and certainly not one you would want in your life..


I found that most men are more than willing to buy your coffee, drinks, lunch or dinner. In fact, most men insist on it and feel very uncomfortable on the first or second dates to let a woman pay for anything. I understand and allow them to do so.


That is the way it should be.. If a man is so concerned about his wallet and not the woman he is enjoying himself with then later for that one.. Perhaps he is also very worried this will not be any kind of long time relationship? That kind of karma will result in nothing positive. That shows me he lacks confidence is his ability to hold your interest.. A man that is not at all worried is the one for me.

The man I am dating now wonders how I manage to do all that I do for him..He has no problem in the world paying for a nice dinner when we get the chance to dine together..
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 347
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 11:35:09 AM
I think he was saying OFFERS--he didnt say he didnt pay--there is a difference there.

Men do not like to be taken for granted--I know I have never been out with a man where I didn't offer--none of them have taken me up on it except one who I didnt get the chance to offer--he just said he didnt have the cash and it was under $5.00 would I take care of it--so I did--I didnt see him again cause of the way he acted outside the place and the fact he tried to follow me home.

Some men want to treat--some men want to go dutch--some men want to be treated--likewise some women--so isnt dating finding that person who does for you what you want?

But my ex always treated but he was the cheapest man I have ever known--he would lose dollars holding on to penny's
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 348
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 12:11:05 PM
In my dating experience, SOME men can call the "equality" card all the way and find some women who take it. They are, I find, naturally cheap and stingy with everything about giving anyways. For an experiment, I decided to go that route with a couple of men I dated and see what they were actually made of in the end. I initiated dates, made dinners and they came with either nothing under their arms....or...took home the dessert and wine they brought because it wasn't used!!! They LOVED the idea of equality and used that card to pay next to nothing for anything.
Both men were doing very well financially. I dumped both. Experiment concluded. Solution? Go back to dating men who want to do what most males find comfortable doing.
I found that most men are more than willing to buy your coffee, drinks, lunch or dinner. In fact, most men insist on it and feel very uncomfortable on the first or second dates to let a woman pay for anything. I understand and allow them to do so.
I believe it comes down to the instinctive steps of natural courtship. It's built into most of us.
When a man plays the "equality" card on first date, he's done...but then....he ususally never gets to first date. You can tell by the way he words things when you initially talk that he is "cheaper than chips".
Argue all you want.....science has proven that men and women are DIFFERENT and that we have DIFFERENT stimuli and responses....especially in the dating game.


Whenever someone provides an anecdote in which they form conclusions about the population as a whole based on a sample size of 1 or 2, all I can do is shake my head in disbelief. It sounds to me like these guys were not interested in equal, but they were interested in turning the tables.

Perhaps I was spoiled by my college sweetie, she always insisted on paying her way when we went out. As a result, I have always questioned the status quo.

I believe that courtship is a learned behavior, not an instinctive one.

Indeed that is what happens when you accept that kind of dating.. Just what kind of man do you get? A man that is stingy and certainly not one you would want in your life..



It is amusing that women call a man cheap or stingy when he suggests splitting things 50-50. What does that make the woman who thinks her share is 0%?

Well, guess what? Cheap and stingy women aren't particularly desirable.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 349
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 12:53:49 PM

In my dating experience, SOME men can call the "equality" card all the way and find some women who take it. They are, I find, naturally cheap and stingy with everything about giving anyways.
WOW! That's an extremely broad generalization which my "dating experience" has proven to be quite the opposite.
While I've never...in my recollection had a man "pull the equality card", but I guess I had I not done so first...there might have been 1 or 2. I've also found that cheap and stingy is also an equal opportunity employer...crossing both genders. Additionally, while I can't recall ever dumping a man for his "stinginess", I HAVE in fact dumped quite a few who were so arrogant they believed that they could "buy" me. Any man who is uncomfortable having ME pay for a date, especially one that I've planned, is definitely NOT any man that I could ever have a serious relationship with.

I am the LAST person on earth to buck "science", and indeed...men and women ARE different, but I fail to see how "equality" in being responsible, self-sufficient ADULTS can be attributed as a "desirable" difference. On the contrary....most women have shed the role of dependent children who have to have a male reinforce every thought, opinion, and decision they make...in order to validate their very existence.
 cariboolady1
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 350
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/17/2012 1:26:55 PM
"shrug"...
Just had one man call up and ask me if I would be ready to meet him in 45 mins...?????????????
When I said no and told him that was not enough notice, thankyou. He said that I must be high maintenance, that most women have said yes.
Just had another call up and said that he was passing through...and yes...he promised to call me to arrange a meet three days ago...but got busy and forgot to call. I asked him if he did this to other women and if they complied on the spot? He said yes. Why? What's the problem?
The problem? I am starting to see too many VERY spoilt men who have been pampered to death by needy?? and ready and willing women who feel the need to accomodate men. That includes paying for the date, too.
I like a date that is properly made and I like a date with a man who wants to court. I am quite financially secure and I did this on my own.
My reciprocal talents, if he proves worthy, are many and varied.
Ohhh..by the way...I am generous to a fault..with the right man....and I have more than paid my way in life. A good man knows this and recognizes it.
Dating is a great way to find out if a man is going to be a giving soul in a relationship. I work for a large retail food store and you wouldn't believe the men who buy flowers, candy, giftcards on special days...and the women who beam because of it. I also see women who have tears in their eyes because the idiot they married couldn't even begin to think about being generous to them.
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