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 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 476
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Women's Financial StatusPage 20 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
Maybe they'd rather have a scraggly, overweight, ****y old broad...To each their own.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 477
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 7:27:52 AM
I think a woman who is comfortable with her financial future is less inclined to want to jeopardize it through a poor financial pairing.
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I guess I don't get that connection. If there's a great difference in income and assets, by all means draw up a prenup!!
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 478
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 7:43:03 AM
Maybe they'd rather have a scraggly, overweight, ****y old broad...To each their own.


So ... This is the bottom line, really.

You feel that you have beauty in your corner as the bargaining chip.

Perhaps you are inspired by multiple viewings of the movie "Pretty Woman."

Sad, really. Because if that is primarily what you bring to the table, I can guarantee that the type of men who would trade a level of financial security for "beauty" can always find a younger, more attractive, and less encumbered specimen of the female type - keep looking over your shoulder.

Sad ...

Also, just because someone may not be what you consider "attractive," that does not mean she is b1tchy, any more than a woman who may be attractive is kind and compassionate.

I am overwhelmed with all the false dichotomies you have expressed in this thread.

P.S. When proclamations are made regarding how others (of a higher income bracket) should still be able to enjoy a "nice lifestyle" when pairing with a highly discrepant partner, do you not see how that reeks of an entitlement perspective?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 479
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 7:54:10 AM
I didn't say a 13.00 hr match wouldn't be good enough for me, hell if I had that these many years of being single, I'm sure I'd be better off-IF he were financially responisble.


So your idea of "marrying up" is marrying someone with the same income as you?


A man who makes 80,000 a year plus combined with 13.00 hour should still have a nice lifestyle if they had minimal expenses and were responisble.


But not as nice as if they both made $80K. ($80K isn't all that much, by the way).

Most men expect the woman to match them "dollar for dollar." If you don't, or can't, then they aren't interested. Combine that with the way a lot of them carry themselves, you can understand why there are so many more men actively seeking relationships than there are women.


I doubt you have data or a reliable source to cite for the statement that there are many more men actively seeking relationships than there are women.

Maybe they'd rather have a scraggly, overweight, ****y old broad...To each their own.


I can say that wouldn't interest me, but that certainly isn't the only alternative.

 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 480
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 7:57:53 AM
Ya know, if its about the money, then yes it should be an issue. Everyone is different. I never thought about it, and I know my threshold for supporting another, I raised my kids, I'm done lol
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 481
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 8:53:13 AM
""Why would a man who can 'buy' a good looking woman take on one who is middle age and with a daughter who is a single mother & grandchildren, all hoping to be subsidized? He's going to go for someone much younger and who doesn't come with a lot of excess baggage.""

Another person who "gets" it and calls a spade a spade.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 482
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 10:07:11 AM
I don't know guys who pick and choose women they fall in love with using any type of game plan.. It's not the same as looking to buy a vehicle.

It 'just happens'...younger or older, kids, not kids, well off or poor, serial killer or saint. The chemistry happens and 'that's it' .

I can fall head over heals crazy for the cashier or the lawyer next door.

There's roughly the same number of males and females..most of us live comparable lives. Perhaps there's a couple percent of people who are pursued by flocks of members of the opposite sex but even they tend to marry the man or woman they fall in love with.
 Iona_Bob
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 483
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 10:25:58 AM
^^^ That's fine for you. There have been disparging remarks about men who seek an economic "equality" as one of their pre-qualifiers. however, it seems to be acceptable for a woman to seek out a relationship with a man who can provide a financial offset. For some reason, it doesn't seem to impinge on her vision of "true" love.

Bottom line:
Men can overlook economic disparity easier than women, because (in general) they are better off, financially.

However, I don't think it's fair to accuse anyone of not being able to pursue "love" without throwing caution to the wind. Would you accept a heavy smoker? Does that mean you aren't really open to being head over heels? I don't think so.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 484
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 10:39:54 AM
I don't know guys who pick and choose women they fall in love with using any type of game plan.. It's not the same as looking to buy a vehicle.


It isn't really a matter of who you choose to fall in love with, it's more a matter of who you choose to NOT fall in love with or to fall OUT of love with. When you first meet, you don't really know their financial status. As you get to know them and you find out they carry daunting credit balances (or any number of other indicators), you choose whether or not to pursue it.


It 'just happens'...younger or older, kids, not kids, well off or poor, serial killer or saint. The chemistry happens and 'that's it'


That may be how "it" starts, but as a rational human being I make a conscious decision about whether I want to be a participant.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 485
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 11:02:53 AM
I don't recall too many Donald Trump types falling for the cashier at the Piggley Wiggely. I don't even see too many lawyers/doctors or professionals falling for the receptionist or the gal behind the counter at his dry cleaners.

When the chatting and getting to know you phase is happening, as Pederic said, this is where these type of questions come out. I haven't had the old "love at first" coffee meeting where someone just couldn't live without me and throw caution to the wind. And it ain't gonna happen to the little blondes with the perky tits either. Reality is reality.

And yes, in a sense we do pick and chose who we fall in love with and if they are spending more time looking for a vehicle than they are a mate - they are fools.
 laughingatliberals
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 486
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 11:33:07 AM

I didn't say a 13.00 hr match wouldn't be good enough for me, hell if I had that these many years of being single, I'm sure I'd be better off-IF he were financially responisble.


Yes you did.

Message # 527
If I marry, I will marry up, if that's how you want to put it. It doesn't take that much, income wise.. And not ashamed to say it.


So by your own words you make $13.00 per hour so a man making $13.00 is not marrying up.
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 487
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 11:51:46 AM

I don't know guys who pick and choose women they fall in love with using any type of game plan.. It's not the same as looking to buy a vehicle.

It 'just happens'...younger or older, kids, not kids, well off or poor, serial killer or saint. The chemistry happens and 'that's it' .

I can fall head over heals crazy for the cashier or the lawyer next door.


I’ve noticed that the older you get the fewer people function this way. Many older peoples’ hearts are not that open, and logic/rational gets a primary role in deciding on “go/no go” with a relationship. People build walls around their hearts… some call it “insecurities”, others call it “experience”… Regardless of the label the bottom line is most older people don’t fall in love as easily and unconditionally as younger people.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 488
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 12:27:09 PM
The majority of divorces occur because of financial issues...so it makes sense to be on the same page (if not in the same income bracket), financially. One less thing to worry about on the road to establishing a stable relationship.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 489
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 12:34:31 PM
When we get to our early fifties, the end of our careers is suddenly staring us in the face. Retirement is something you are either prepared for, or you are not. Taking on a spouse at this age who has not saved for retirement can make an enormous difference in how you will live your remaining days. Maybe I'm an oddball, but I can't just sacrifice that on a whim.
 laughingatliberals
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 490
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 12:36:34 PM

I don't know guys who pick and choose women they fall in love with using any type of game plan.. It's not the same as looking to buy a vehicle.

It 'just happens'...younger or older, kids, not kids, well off or poor, serial killer or saint. The chemistry happens and 'that's it' .

I can fall head over heals crazy for the cashier or the lawyer next door.

************************************************************************************************
I’ve noticed that the older you get the fewer people function this way. Many older peoples’ hearts are not that open, and logic/rational gets a primary role in deciding on “go/no go” with a relationship. People build walls around their hearts… some call it “insecurities”, others call it “experience”… Regardless of the label the bottom line is most older people don’t fall in love as easily and unconditionally as younger people.



Isn't growing up wonderful you don't have to be subject to hormones and can use your brain to actually figure uot what is best for you.


***************************************************************************************

The majority of divorces occur because of financial issues...so it makes sense to be on the same page (if not in the same income bracket), financially. One less thing to worry about on the road to establishing a stable relationship.


I agree 100%!
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 491
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 12:38:47 PM
I'm sort of with Sciencetrekker on this one.
In my last partnership, I earned just a bit more than he did.
We shared his lovely home and I contributed a fair amount while my kids lived in/rented my home to cover expenses there. My loving him had not a thing at all to do with his money....had he earned much less or were he on disability would not have mattered to me.

It was all about loving each other and enjoying the life we shared....the money was secondary to that. His financial business was his, mine was mine


With all due respect, it sounds like you were on fairly even terms and that played a significant role in the life that you enjoyed. Had he been a deadbeat, I doubt you would have enjoyed it. Also, it doesn't sound as if you were married to him, which would have been a huge step up in potential liability.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 492
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 1:04:11 PM

Kayla58

Bottom line:
Men can overlook economic disparity easier than women, because (in general) they are better off, financially.


Those days are rapidly coming to an end. More women than men are attending college. More women than men are obtaining degrees, and advanced degrees. The world is going to be turned upside down. Luckily for me, I probably won’t be around to see it.

Now here’s my take on this. Most men will overlook economic disparity if the woman is hot, I mean, drop dead gorgeous. Mjinict is quite well aware of this, and plans to take full advantage of it. I don’t blame her, this is the way of the world.

Now for your average woman, she needs to be on a reasonably level footing with me, economically speaking. Sorry, just telling the truth.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 493
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 2:14:04 PM
^^^ Too funny. BUT,,

"Now for your average woman, she needs to be on a reasonably level footing with me, economically speaking. Sorry, just telling the truth.." I have no problem with this line of thinking - again, it's reality.

For those that can get the "marrying up" perky little hot chicks - there is a new hot chick coming around the corner at any time and most of these men do not hesitate to replace what they have with a younger, fresher model. Again, another fact of life.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 494
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 2:36:53 PM

welsh474
For those that can get the "marrying up" perky little hot chicks - there is a new hot chick coming around the corner at any time and most of these men do not hesitate to replace what they have with a younger, fresher model. Again, another fact of life.


Very true. And anyone who doubts it needs to go check out a few of the "sugar daddy" dating sites. Very educational.

Another unfortunate truth is that I am not in that economic strata. I think if I were, I might very well go for it. Some serious fun to be had there.

But realistically, why would a man marry such a woman, why not just go for the "sugar daddy" role? A lot less strings tying you down, and you can always go for the newer model anytime the old model gets in a sour mood.
 Luv_Lyfe
Joined: 7/19/2010
Msg: 495
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 3:03:25 PM


For those that can get the "marrying up" perky little hot chicks - there is a new hot chick coming around the corner at any time and most of these men do not hesitate to replace what they have with a younger, fresher model. Again, another fact of life.


And that's the truth!
 MusicianInCanton
Joined: 10/18/2010
Msg: 496
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 5:22:06 PM
I met a woman Saturday evening for a "meet and greet". She is 55 years old and a damn good looking woman. She told me her husband divorced her, bought a Harley, and got himself a 38 year old girlfriend. There ya go.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 497
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 6:52:14 PM
So by your own words you make $13.00 per hour so a man making $13.00 is not marrying up.
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Ya got me. My point is it wouldn't take much for me to marry up, and I would be fine with it if he were responsible. I know 80,000 isn't that much to some people, Paderic, I used that number because it IS a lot to me. Marrying up to me might be marrying down to someone else. It's all relative. I would date a mechanic, bus driver, factory worker, as long as he was stable and treated me well.

If I'm dating someone I like, I'm up front about working to pay off credit card debt and if he doesn't like it, he's free to do as he wants.

And Henry, as far as planning to take full advantage of what I can get by my looks, I'm a little offended. It's not like I just fell off a turnip truck. I went from filing bankruptcy with the ex when we divorced 27 years ago (due to his irresponsibility) to building my credit back up to a high score. And worked my butt off the whole time, BY MYSELF!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 498
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 7:38:42 PM
OK-I'm not going to switch over and support choosing spouses strictly by their paystub.
But I think I can understand why "marrying up" might appeal to a woman who has been either carrying financial dead weight and/or resolving the aftermath of being coupled to a financial dead weight nearly all her life. It would be like being able to take a rest, a deep breath etc and know that someone has your financial back. I GET that. However, when it comes right down to brass tacks, that is still a situation that isn't necessarily a downhill coast across the finish line.

One still must keep the spouse one "married up "to, interested in continuing to be a spouse. Pre-nups have been mentioned, so perhaps some people are willing to risk "marrying up" for what may well be only a respite? I agree, marrying "up" and consolidating households may well take some of the pressure off of a person who feels like its' been her against the world for a long time-but there is no guarantee that this reduction in pressure is going to go on forever. Lets set the idea of the man dumping the woman for a younger model...lets ask what happens if the man gets seriously injured or ill? Even with someone who has a level of employment that permits buying safety nets-those safety nets may not be as strong as one thinks. What if the man loses his job? Yes, he may get severance pay and/or be able to draw unemployment...but an older blue-collar man who has become unemploye- even if it is absolutely no fault of his own-is going to have a tougher time finding another job. Ageism is alive and well in many parts of the blue-collar and even lower-level white collar workplace.

Yes, I get why some people, especially women, may look to marry up because-for the 45+crowd-a lot of parental units were still teaching that a woman's best bet was to get a man to provide for her well enough that she she didn't "have to" work.
I have to confess I'm puzzled how a woman who is schooled from day one that the husband is the provider-marries and stays with a non-providing parasite. I can certainly understand how such an experience could set one up for a certain degree of chronic financial anxiety, but I'm not sure that "marrying up" for either gender actually alleviates the anxiety,or just shifts it to a different area of concern. The best "cure" for financial anxiety is faith in oneself- not "marrying up". Because,IMO, if you marry up seeking respite from having to carry your ownself by your own bootstraps, then you just traded one kind of anxiety for another.
The best solution to any kind of situational anxiety is to let that solution come from within oneself. Don't be waiting for the Universe to send you a solution to practical/financial anxieties in the form of a partner with a bigger wallet. Find the solutions within yourself and then you are free to conduct your love life as you see fit. I still can't say that I would recommend for anyone to marry a financial black hole-but being concerned with how much your object of interest earns doesn't have to be the lead story in your love life.
Cindy O
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 499
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 8:06:57 PM
The best solution to any kind of situational anxiety is to let that solution come from within oneself. Don't be waiting for the Universe to send you a solution to practical/financial anxieties in the form of a partner with a bigger wallet. Find the solutions within yourself and then you are free to conduct your love life as you see fit. I still can't say that I would recommend for anyone to marry a financial black hole-but being concerned with how much your object of interest earns doesn't have to be the lead story in your love life.
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I think that advice could go to both sides.:)
 laughingatliberals
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 500
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 8:11:55 PM

So by your own words you make $13.00 per hour so a man making $13.00 is not marrying up.
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Ya got me. My point is it wouldn't take much for me to marry up, and I would be fine with it if he were responsible. I know 80,000 isn't that much to some people, Paderic, I used that number because it IS a lot to me.


So then by you using the 80k figure, which is almost three times what you make, is that the threshold you are looking for?

What if I or any other man made that statement. We would not marry if we could not marry up?

The thing I think most have a problem with is you are saying you want more than what you are able to bring to the table.

You mentioned credit card debt you do realize that most men know if they were to marry you or anyone with credit card debt.

That they can be held responsible for it even though they had nothing to do with it.

The days of leave it to beaver is over. I have no desire to support anyone except myself.

When you press olives for oil you get extra virgin and then virgin. You can keep pressing but you get no more oil from them.

I know I am pressed out and I didn't even loose much in either of my divorces. Less than 6 grand in both.

I and I think most of us men are just tired of being in the press.
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