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 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 516
Women's Financial StatusPage 25 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
""Taking on a spouse at this age who has not saved for retirement can make an enormous difference in how you will live your remaining days. Maybe I'm an oddball, but I can't just sacrifice that on a whim.
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You might be sacrificing happiness however. Maybe it would be worth it to bypass a few exotic vacations in retirement to be with someone who made you happy.""

You still don't get it. The folks on here aren't talking "exotic vacations", they're talking about living within their means now and into retirement. The majority would forego an exotic vacation - they just don't want to lose half of what they earned and saved for retirement. We don't have another 20 years of earning potential to make up for another mistake in a relationship. They don't want to support another person - they want to share with another person. And sorry, for most folks being able to cook a mean souffle and mow the lawn does not cut it.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 517
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:21:35 PM
There are affluent people out there who don't want to sacrifice spending gobs of money on overseas vacations. It has nothing to do with having enough money to live on in retirement. Most of their homes are more than paid for. I'm thinking Paderic may qualify. And losing half is a tired argument in the age of prenups.
I'd be happy going to the lake for a weekend.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 518
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:22:54 PM
It boils down to this, IMO. Those with more, have more to lose. I think the attitude is that it is no big deal for anyone to give up something that seems frivolous to someone who has less. Look at your attitude about it, mjint. It is their money and theirs to choose how to spend it without judgement.

$12.00 an hour is a decent living, and there are those who have been laid off who would love to earn that.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 519
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:26:07 PM
$12.00 an hour is a decent living, and there are those who have been laid off who would love to earn that.
----
True, I've been there.
 laughingatliberals
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 520
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:33:53 PM

Most of their homes are more than paid for. I'm thinking Paderic may qualify. And losing half is a tired argument in the age of prenups.


A prenup will not guarantee that in a divorce that it would be followed. A judge could easily throw it out.

My house is 100% paid for and so is everything else I own. When you marry you put that in jeopardy. You could be married as little as weeks and loose half.

There is no way I would ever risk that. Florida has no common law marriage and you could live with some one for 100 years and there is no property division laws.

Each takes their own stuff and it is over.

Both men and women with assets are deciding not to risk that at this point in their lives.......Just not worth the chance.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 521
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/18/2012 9:50:38 PM
Many of us have wills and trusts to divide our assets when we die. In mine, I have many assets to divide that will benefit my children equally. I also have life insurance to cover any balances that I have on my accounts as well as for my final expenses. I will not be a burden to my kids in any way! I love them too much to do that. I will protect what I have for their sake, if not for any other reason. Very few of us are without someone in our lives who would not be affected by the choices that we make throughout our lives concerning finances.

Combining households could mean that there is more disposable income to enjoy nice vacations, and to save for the golden years. I just think there are very, very few of us who are willing to risk combining households without legal protection of our assets. To me, it takes the pressure off and the focus on what really matters: spending time with someone you love.

Some states are common law states, and without the benefit of a legal marriage, someone could lay claim to assets if a couple split. We all have to be smart, that is all that I am saying. You can be smart and very open to find someone to share you life with.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 522
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Posted: 6/18/2012 11:34:13 PM

It may seem hypocritical to some but if I can do better than someone who makes $12.00 an hour, why shouldn't I?


If I make over $100k/year, why is it a bad thing for me to look for a partner who makes a similar income? There was one woman in my life, she's been a dear friend for years, and I will always love her to bits, but I've never been romantically interested in her, because the logical part of me realizes that she just doesn't bring enough to the table. I do well on my own, and it would be fantastic to find someone in the same income bracket as myself. We could both contribute equally to different things, holidays etc. if we got married, we would go 50/50 on a house, bills etc etc.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 523
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/19/2012 6:12:25 AM
There are affluent people out there who don't want to sacrifice spending gobs of money on overseas vacations. It has nothing to do with having enough money to live on in retirement. Most of their homes are more than paid for. I'm thinking Paderic may qualify.


I qualify as what? I don't spend gobs of money on vacations simply because they don't interest me. I'd rather spend a week backpacking in the woods. But if I did want to vacation overseas, I don't need anyone's consent. I'm certainly not going to justify how I live my life to a bunch of strangers on an internet message board.

The reason I have what I have is because I planned ahead and worked toward a goal. The notion that I should give up some of that to support someone who didn't plan ahead is asinine. You say I might be passing up on a chance to be happy; I say I'm happy now.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 524
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Posted: 6/19/2012 6:21:58 AM
A prenup will not guarantee that in a divorce that it would be followed. A judge could easily throw it out.

My house is 100% paid for and so is everything else I own. When you marry you put that in jeopardy. You could be married as little as weeks and loose half
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If this it the case, it's certainly understandable to want to protect your assets... And belive me, I don't keep posting for negative attention. It's funny, when I do start posting, someone always brings up the looks thing. Whether it is Henry or Welshie....I guess it's the stereotypes get people riled up.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 525
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Posted: 6/19/2012 7:40:14 AM
The thing is, men DO stop thinking with their little head at some point. The reality of it all comes into play and they want someone with substance and not a pretty smile and the odd b.j.


Perhaps...if a guy is dead. She has to be pretty, into sex and give more than the odd 'whatever'. Yes, she needs substance but 'grandma' can have substance..Time Magazine has substance. I need a woman who is foremost a sexy girlfriend . My gal is a professional and I love her to pieces but I still want her taking my hand and putting up her blouse when we go to a movie.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 526
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Posted: 6/19/2012 7:42:54 AM
Hmmm aren't we at that age where we can pick and choose what ever the heck we want? Not sure why it has to be an argument. There is no right or wrong here, just personal preference. Or maybe I am missing something....yet again lol
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 527
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Posted: 6/19/2012 8:55:41 AM
Lots of beautiful sexy women. It's not a dress size or a BMI figure. There's SO much more to being sexy than looks.

And

Lots of women are sexy AND quite successful as well. I'm afraid I just wouldn't have enough in common with someone from such a lower income bracket. I don't take extravagant exotic holidays, though I have been to Europe twice and Aussie once. But there are other ways to spend and save my money. At 42, I'm hoping to retire at 55, a scant 13 years from now. So I'm looking at he end game, and while it might include an equal, it doesn't include a dependent.

With the nature of my job, even in retirement I can jump into my field for a month or two to make some extra play money, which will come in handy, plus concentrating on my side company which is more of a well paying hobby as well.

:love:
 LUCKS4U2
Joined: 7/19/2010
Msg: 528
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/19/2012 8:59:51 AM

By the time a guy has gotten into HIS fourties, he's usually been through a divorce or two and his finances are limited. But, even with the progess of equlity in the workplace, women have less disposible income than men. For starters, it costs us more to look good: hair, make-up, nails, lingiere. I refuse to pay for dates. 'll help pay for a vacation but if they guy I'm dating has the money and won't share it, it tells me that he's not gonna' share his love either.


I agree that usually men have more income than women generally. Typically, if for a first meeting of drinks...dutch is fine...always nice when the gentleman offers to pay. For future dates, if you invite me, then I assume you will cover the costs. If I invite to take the man to dinner, then I would pay..etc...In a relationship then it is whatever is comfortable with both parties.

However, I am so tired of meeting men my age who are so damaged from whatever their previous wife/gfs put them through emotionally, as well as financially, that they immediately ASSUME all women want to dig for their gold nuggets. I want a MAN confident and secure enough with himself and his situation to not be so jaded toward new women. WE are not ALL alike.
Money and material things are NOT the end all, be all of life. My wish would be for them to remember what it was like before all the BS, back in your 20's...where you got to know someone based on chemistry, compatibility and personality, and maybe even fell in love, BEFORE you saw or cared about their credit score/portfolio or lack of one.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 529
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Posted: 6/19/2012 9:04:54 AM
Ahhhh to be young again.


The problem with youth, is that it's wasted on the young.


;)
 Pinky127
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 530
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/19/2012 10:33:08 AM

they immediately ASSUME all women want to dig for their gold nuggets.


My fella loves it when i forage for his gold nuggets....................
 laughingatliberals
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 531
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/19/2012 11:38:59 AM
Money and material things are NOT the end all, be all of life.


If that is true than way are you wanting them to put their assets at risk.......If you and others are truly not wanting them why is it such a problem for the assets be just the person they actually belong to.

See that is where y'all lose credibility you say you are not worried about money but balk at a man protecting his.


Sorry but I'm not buying it. As a lady said above I have children that I am leaving my assets to. I would never risk half of what I want to leave them which is everything I have.

I have worked hard to get what I have any woman I date has had the same chance to do the same why should I give half a lifetime of work to her?

If it is truly about a relationship then my money should not matter. It doesn't matter to me I could easily love someone that has more or less assets than I have........As long as they don't expect me to "make it equal" by me giving up half of my life's work.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 532
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Posted: 6/19/2012 11:44:37 AM

If that is true than way are you wanting them to put their assets at risk.......If you and others are truly not wanting them why is it such a problem for the assets be just the person they actually belong to.

See that is where y'all lose credibility you say you are not worried about money but balk at a man protecting his.


Sorry but I'm not buying it. As a lady said above I have children that I am leaving my assets to. I would never risk half of what I want to leave them which is everything I have.

I have worked hard to get what I have any woman I date has had the same chance to do the same why should I give half a lifetime of work to her?

If it is truly about a relationship then my money should not matter. It doesn't matter to me I could easily love someone that has more or less assets than I have........As long as they don't expect me to "make it equal" by me giving up half of my life's work.


Amen brother, and don't even get me started on my life insurance.



;)
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 533
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/19/2012 12:26:05 PM
Trying to ignore your “looks” are like trying to ignore a white elephant in the room. Even if no one mentioned it, we would all be very aware of it.

And exactly what “stereotype” are you referring to? “All beautiful women are gold diggers” or something else entirely?


Must be a matter of taste.

However, I am so tired of meeting men my age who are so damaged


Meeting damaged women gets tiring as well.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 534
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:49:33 PM
""However, I am so tired of meeting men my age who are so damaged from whatever their previous wife/gfs put them through emotionally, as well as financially, that they immediately ASSUME all women want to dig for their gold nuggets. I want a MAN confident and secure enough with himself and his situation to not be so jaded toward new women. WE are not ALL alike.""

Just switch the genders around and the same could apply. Many of my men friends say the same thing - they are tired of meeting damaged and bitter and frigid women... Neither gender is immune nor are they better.
 laughingatliberals
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 535
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/19/2012 8:27:21 PM

Just switch the genders around and the same could apply. Many of my men friends say the same thing - they are tired of meeting damaged and bitter and frigid women... Neither gender is immune nor are they better.


Exactly! Could not have said it better myself.

Eddie Murphy said once we are all F'ed up....We should go out and look for someone just as F'ed up as we are and live happily ever after.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 536
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Posted: 6/20/2012 6:30:11 PM
It takes all types.

:)
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 537
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/21/2012 12:32:59 PM

A prenup will not guarantee that in a divorce that it would be followed. A judge could easily throw it out.
My house is 100% paid for and so is everything else I own. When you marry you put that in jeopardy. You could be married as little as weeks and loose half.
There is no way I would ever risk that. Florida has no common law marriage and you could live with some one for 100 years and there is no property division laws.
Each takes their own stuff and it is over.
Both men and women with assets are deciding not to risk that at this point in their lives.......Just not worth the chance.


Your right a judge will throw it out " IF" he considers it unfair and unjust. So very important if you do have one to make sure that it is exactly that.. You need to consult with family lawyer..

One more of the reasons to equally contribute to a home you both purchase together.. More than just this one there are other reasons I say that.. If you are starting a new life you choose the home together.. So neither party feels like they are living in the other person life. It is YOUR life together that you have made.

However what you are saying about losing half your home is not so..Let us say you were married just one year, then the amount the home increased during that one years, half of that increase he would be entitled to..But that is all..

More to worry about the money you are bringing in if yours is vastly more than his then you would have to pay him alimony.. Yet another reason to date someone financially similar to yourself.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 538
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:22:06 PM

Contrary to your view of life my experience is that, after the welfare of their minor children, most folks would forego EVERYTHING for their partner.

I think that is very true of first marriages-and it is not my intention to paint people as all selfish mercenary individuals-but I think often when someone has had to struggle back from the financial and emotional stress of rebuilding their lives after divorce-or after the death of a spouse,( especially if there was NOT a fat life insurance policy or other kind of safety net in place)-then I think many people will tend to look for (at least)near- parity in practical and financial terms in any subsequent relationships. This doesn't mean that they wouldn't make great sacrifices for their partner if misfortune struck after the relationship came into being. And I know lots of people who are incredibly generous with their time, money and effort given to good causes,but yet these people are not interested in forging a romantic relationship with an individual having significantly less resources.

Of course not everyone is being over-protective of assets, not every individual(of either gender) in tight financial circumstances is dead set on "marrying up".
But when we come into pre-retirement/retirement phase of our lives, many people DO look at the financial and practical aspects of relationships. I don't think we can assign a label of "wrong" or "right" to this-it's simply what some people choose to do.
Cindy O
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 539
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/21/2012 2:46:21 PM
It has been my experience that the men who are willing to throw money at you are those who think of you as a purchase from that point on--they own you and you basically depend on them for everything --they start off talking about how much they have, where all they want to take you --but after a bit, I found on their own merits without the money most were seriously lacking in depth of character (I am not saying men with money are lacking in depth of character; only those who feel another person is purchasable) .

I lost everything when I got cancer and now am a full-time student, I have had men tell me if i play my cards right I could end up with them and never worry about working again--for me, that is the wrong answer--a man who was concerned about me and my life would have encouraged me to finish college, to grow and learn.

Id rather be poor and build a life with someone than be with someone who owns me--and while some of yall are thinking about retirement and what you do or don't have --that can all go up in smoke in record time--all that has to happen is switch jobs and have the insurance not kick in before you get sick--

Those who use financial resources as a guideline of who and who isnt acceptable have the right to have their preference but what someone has today might not be what they have tomorrow but who someone is a completely different story.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 540
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Posted: 6/21/2012 3:32:58 PM
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/pictures-that-will-restore-your-faith-in-humanity?sub=1627910_374819
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