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Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 534
Women's Financial StatusPage 27 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
""However, I am so tired of meeting men my age who are so damaged from whatever their previous wife/gfs put them through emotionally, as well as financially, that they immediately ASSUME all women want to dig for their gold nuggets. I want a MAN confident and secure enough with himself and his situation to not be so jaded toward new women. WE are not ALL alike.""

Just switch the genders around and the same could apply. Many of my men friends say the same thing - they are tired of meeting damaged and bitter and frigid women... Neither gender is immune nor are they better.
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 535
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/19/2012 8:27:21 PM

Just switch the genders around and the same could apply. Many of my men friends say the same thing - they are tired of meeting damaged and bitter and frigid women... Neither gender is immune nor are they better.

Exactly! Could not have said it better myself.

Eddie Murphy said once we are all F'ed up....We should go out and look for someone just as F'ed up as we are and live happily ever after.
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 536
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:30:11 PM
It takes all types.

Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 537
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/21/2012 12:32:59 PM

A prenup will not guarantee that in a divorce that it would be followed. A judge could easily throw it out.
My house is 100% paid for and so is everything else I own. When you marry you put that in jeopardy. You could be married as little as weeks and loose half.
There is no way I would ever risk that. Florida has no common law marriage and you could live with some one for 100 years and there is no property division laws.
Each takes their own stuff and it is over.
Both men and women with assets are deciding not to risk that at this point in their lives.......Just not worth the chance.

Your right a judge will throw it out " IF" he considers it unfair and unjust. So very important if you do have one to make sure that it is exactly that.. You need to consult with family lawyer..

One more of the reasons to equally contribute to a home you both purchase together.. More than just this one there are other reasons I say that.. If you are starting a new life you choose the home together.. So neither party feels like they are living in the other person life. It is YOUR life together that you have made.

However what you are saying about losing half your home is not so..Let us say you were married just one year, then the amount the home increased during that one years, half of that increase he would be entitled to..But that is all..

More to worry about the money you are bringing in if yours is vastly more than his then you would have to pay him alimony.. Yet another reason to date someone financially similar to yourself.
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 538
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/21/2012 1:22:06 PM

Contrary to your view of life my experience is that, after the welfare of their minor children, most folks would forego EVERYTHING for their partner.

I think that is very true of first marriages-and it is not my intention to paint people as all selfish mercenary individuals-but I think often when someone has had to struggle back from the financial and emotional stress of rebuilding their lives after divorce-or after the death of a spouse,( especially if there was NOT a fat life insurance policy or other kind of safety net in place)-then I think many people will tend to look for (at least)near- parity in practical and financial terms in any subsequent relationships. This doesn't mean that they wouldn't make great sacrifices for their partner if misfortune struck after the relationship came into being. And I know lots of people who are incredibly generous with their time, money and effort given to good causes,but yet these people are not interested in forging a romantic relationship with an individual having significantly less resources.

Of course not everyone is being over-protective of assets, not every individual(of either gender) in tight financial circumstances is dead set on "marrying up".
But when we come into pre-retirement/retirement phase of our lives, many people DO look at the financial and practical aspects of relationships. I don't think we can assign a label of "wrong" or "right" to this-it's simply what some people choose to do.
Cindy O
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 539
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/21/2012 2:46:21 PM
It has been my experience that the men who are willing to throw money at you are those who think of you as a purchase from that point on--they own you and you basically depend on them for everything --they start off talking about how much they have, where all they want to take you --but after a bit, I found on their own merits without the money most were seriously lacking in depth of character (I am not saying men with money are lacking in depth of character; only those who feel another person is purchasable) .

I lost everything when I got cancer and now am a full-time student, I have had men tell me if i play my cards right I could end up with them and never worry about working again--for me, that is the wrong answer--a man who was concerned about me and my life would have encouraged me to finish college, to grow and learn.

Id rather be poor and build a life with someone than be with someone who owns me--and while some of yall are thinking about retirement and what you do or don't have --that can all go up in smoke in record time--all that has to happen is switch jobs and have the insurance not kick in before you get sick--

Those who use financial resources as a guideline of who and who isnt acceptable have the right to have their preference but what someone has today might not be what they have tomorrow but who someone is a completely different story.
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 540
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:32:58 PM
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