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 loveoutside
Joined: 12/28/2011
Msg: 51
Women's Financial StatusPage 3 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
Yes, thanks for this thread. I've learn a quite a bit with all different view points.

While I would like to say money is not that important, I'm not so sure. Putting aside everything else, would you give up your lifestyle to be with someone, no matter how nice or responsible they are financially if they are many level down in finance parity? Its a tough question as that person can (and this is big if) potentially be your ideal partner for life (with everything else being a match) vs giving up part of your lifestyle to be with that person.

I would hope that I would choose the former just to find out the possibility but since I haven't run into that scenario, can't really say.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 52
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/25/2012 6:08:44 PM
Financial parity is not as important to me as financial responsibility is.

If someone makes a lot less and has a lot less, and has a good reason for that (type of work they do and love to do, vs. can't keep a job), but still has lived within their means and not accumulated a ton of debt, I'm cool with that.

I have no problem treating this type of person/friend/lover when I can. I also have no problem doing something on my own if they cannot afford it and I cannot afford to treat them. If *they* hold that against me, well, we have a new and different problem.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 53
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/25/2012 11:02:18 PM
All i can do is speak from my exp. I noticed that many women my age dont have much to show money wise. It seems most of them after talking to them seemed to spend money as fast or faster then they made it. Anywhere from buying outfits, shoes, going out to eat and doing nails. Many of them drive cars they cant realy afford. Living the high life. For me I like to be responsible with my money. Not realy crazy about dating women like that. Seen plenty of guys spend way too much money keeping women like that intrested in them. Im not working and helping someone else with there bills. I know women like for the guy to pay the bills when out on vacation. But I wont, If she cant afford to in the payment then we dont go. I belive in equal right which including money as well. I realy the idea when a women says well if the guys take me out for dinner I would be more then happy to cook dinner at home as well once in a while. Hello Thats the easy way out home cooked dinner cost 1/4 as much as going out. Its not how much money a woman makes but she likes going out and live the the good life she need to be able to pay her own way. If she cant she shouldn't expect the guy to pay most of it but ratch down her spending a few notches. I know guys who spend way more then then can afford and lots of time it would be trying to impress the women. It just i see it more with women here in LA who do that. There is no way I'm helping someone pay rent or car payment. Or Wine and dine them all over the city with hopes that they just might like me lol. I want to date someone on same footing. The idea that a man should always treat a woman is out dated.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 54
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/25/2012 11:30:05 PM
I agree that women should pay their way and they dont feel obligated to have sex when they dont really want to and have their own power. It is a more equal world and expecting a man to fork out all the time, is not really on. Men typically like a woman with assets naturally, but there is no hard and fast rule really. Men who can afford to be fussy may expect this and that but you can bet your boots that they dont expect it of the younger hotter woman. We all know the dynamics there.

I like a man who wants to treat me occasionally and to be generous spirited and that is not using or being a gold digger. If a man invites me anywhere then he should pay and then next time I can reciprocate in some way or another.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 55
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/25/2012 11:34:06 PM
catman40

It is that men have always expected to pay for sex, one way or another but a woman who always expects a man to pay her way then knows she should co-operate in the bedroom whenever.... Men typically like the power that money gives them
even covert. A man who earns as little as you should not be expected to foot the bill with a woman all the time. Naturally you want something in return for it. Call it being a gentleman or whatever.
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 56
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/26/2012 9:43:18 AM

I realy the idea when a women says well if the guys take me out for dinner I would be more then happy to cook dinner at home as well once in a while. Hello Thats the easy way out home cooked dinner cost 1/4 as much as going out.


This statement makes me sad, it basically says you don't value a woman's time or effort. After 20+ years of making every meal, I truly value the time a man puts into shopping and preparing a meal for me.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 57
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/26/2012 10:03:00 AM

I realy the idea when a women says well if the guys take me out for dinner I would be more then happy to cook dinner at home as well once in a while. Hello Thats the easy way out home cooked dinner cost 1/4 as much as going out

Depends on what kind of "out" you're talking about...
and for goodness sake, have you seen the grocery store prices????

~~~
I've ended up on the "poor" scale .. didn't expect it, sure wasn't here 10 years ago, but here I sit.
Gettin' along just fine, not one bit of debt whatsoever, but yup.. my 'financial status' would be "poor".
Seems, according to POF forums (lol) it's just another reason for men to not look at me, eh?
*shrugs*
Funny thing is, a WHOLE LOT of these men don't have many nickles to rub together either!
Not when it gets right down to it.
There's a lot of 'bluster' around these here hills. lol
 gaiaisnotthesameasvenus
Joined: 3/7/2012
Msg: 58
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/26/2012 10:11:19 AM
A credit background check isn't required when you're just dating. I don't know why a man or woman would need this before considering going on a date?
 Jack010
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 59
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/26/2012 11:40:41 AM
If a man wants for you to pay your own way on a vacation, you should find someone who wants you to go and generous enough to pay your own way even if you could.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 60
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/26/2012 4:05:11 PM
Amount of money, savings, house paid off, etc, doesn't really matter to me.
However, her "fiscal responsibility" does - I wouldn't want someone who can't manage their finances, is in debt up to their eyeballs and running up more daily, can't stop from buying something 'frivolous' even though they're broke, and then is looking to borrow money (or run up their card) to fix something important... can't manage to save a little here with a 'plan' to buy something specific they want...

Or, not quantity, but quality. Someone who knows how to 'live within their means', and yet make the best of it, would be the best description.
 tuloa942
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 61
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/26/2012 4:40:00 PM
What do I have to show for "30+ years of hard labor?" Money? Nope! And if that is important to a guy, buh bye!

What I do have to show:
I have two sons who have grown into creative, loving, funny young men who are following their dreams and becoming very successful in their fields.
I have my own house that I am paying for with what I earn.
I have a lot of friends who enjoy my company and who are there whenever I've needed them and I am there when they need help.
I have learned what is important in life and it's NOT money.
I have my sense of humor which makes me more friends wherever I go.
I have a sense of creativity that makes me unique.
I have a sense of wonder that makes everyday a marvel.

Well, I guess you get the idea.

While we mediated our divorce after 25 years together, he told the mediator that he felt I deserved only 30% of the assets since I didn't bring any money into the marriage. That was after 25 years of raising two sons, doing all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, schlepping kids and cats to doctors, dentists, vets, taking care of school things, volunteering at school and boy scouts, painting and decorating the house, taking care of everything for birthdays, and all holidays... and so on and on and on. And during most of that time, I worked part time and that money went to buy furniture, Christmas and birthday gifts, towards vacation, and many other things. I did all of that so he could go to work and succeed in his field in order to provide the money for the family.

I have and will always "earn my keep" whether if it's with money or with physical work.
 aboutgettingby
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 62
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/26/2012 5:08:25 PM
I don't think it would matter one way or the other. Times have been tough recently and many responsible people have hit hard times. There was an article on Yahoo about a women that had been fairly successfull that lost a job in 2008 and is basically about to lose her house and everything she had. Does this mean that person is not dateable, not in my mind. Would it require you to always pay, maybe but I think the person would be more relevant than the financial situation of that person.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 63
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 12:55:29 AM
moonchild48


Why not for the younger guy, it might be fun. Cougarrrrrrrrrrr... For a while. Teach them everything you know.

 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 64
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 12:58:17 AM
gaias etc

I agree that is a bit much for a first meet. A criminal background check, maybe.
Would the guy be necessarily be giving you his real and full name anyway?
I dont imagine she would be getting much dating with that requirement.

 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 65
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 7:10:22 AM
if a man requires a certain amount of financial expectation from a woman, he is not worth it in my opinion...i am of the school that a man in a relationship should have more to bring to the table than the woman.

The women who are more successful & powerful tend to have less luck in relationships than a cute young thang who weighs chocolate at Woolworth's (an old inside joke)

When a man sees a woman wearing Walmart clothes & driving a Kia he does not feel as threatened by her (even if she has $$ socked away) compared to a woman who has designer everything & a BMW...I've seen it time & time again...but then again, I could not be w/ the type of man who wants the girl at Wallyworld...
 Look4Now404
Joined: 10/11/2009
Msg: 66
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 8:00:03 AM
Amen..... I agree 100%.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 67
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 8:00:29 AM

i am of the school that a man in a relationship should have more to bring to the table than the woman.


But, of course, he must treat you as an equal in the relationship, because.....

a) You are doing him a big favour by being with him?
b) You are entitled to be taken care of for life because you are a woman?
c) You do really great tricks in bed?
d) That is just the way things are?
e) All of the above.

Surprisingly, men I know choose a woman for her contributions to a relationship, and choose the ones that bring th things they want to a relationship. When they feel they are not getting as much as they give, they just move along.....

Imagine that!
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 68
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 8:43:01 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
think what you like- most decent men feel strange if the woman either earns more or has more than him- makes him feel "emasculated" or "inept" UNLESS he is looking 4 a sugar mama...

nothing wrong w/ a woman wanting to be w/ a man who won't be threatened by her...
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 69
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 8:57:58 AM
^^ I guess it depends on your social circle. These days there are loads of women making lots more than their male friends. I know a few whose S/Os don't work because of the gap being so significant.

Perhaps some older men are bugged by it, but in the professional job areas the shift in worker demographics is such that men who feel they have to make more than their women are in for a very hard time......

Your thinking is back in the days when marriage was a pension plan, divorce a better pension plan......
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 70
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 9:03:28 AM
Aslong as the person is paying their bills and supporting themselves and doesn't expect me to financially support them, I really don't care how much money they have. With the bad economy I don't expect the man to pay for everything, there are plenty of things you can do that are inexpensive and fun, you just have to be alittle creative. I dated a guy who constantly complained about money on our dates even thou I paid for my share, it turns out all he wanted to do is be a couch potato, it soon ended. For men who think buying a meal means I owe you sex, give me a break, if thats the kind of "relationship" you want then get an escort. I don't view dating any differently than going out with my friends, sometimes I pay, sometimes they pay and I get it next time or we all put in some cash to cover the bill, it's the pleasure of being in their company that counts and having a good time.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 71
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 9:21:55 AM
Own my home and it is fully paid for, however cannot really afford any vacations..So would like someone that is likewise since the vacation issue will not come up..
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 72
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 9:25:05 AM

think what you like- most decent men feel strange if the woman either earns more or has more than him- makes him feel "emasculated" or "inept" UNLESS he is looking 4 a sugar mama...

nothing wrong w/ a woman wanting to be w/ a man who won't be threatened by her...


OK, time for me to wade in...

First off, any guy who feels emasculated or inept because the woman he is dating makes more than him is a guy with a problem. Call it low self esteem or whatever, it's just dumb. He's the same guy he was before he met her, why should her income make him less than he was before?

For casual dating, it's not a big deal if the woman earns significantly less than me. But when it turns into a relationship, it means our household income would be substantially less than what it would be if her earnings were on a par with mine.

Sorry, but I prefer the woman that comes with the higher standard of living.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 73
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 9:27:42 AM

think what you like- most decent men feel strange if the woman either earns more or has more than him- makes him feel "emasculated"


You know if all my dates I only had one man express that feeling to me.. He called me a "Jet Setter" which was funny since I do not like to travel and also do not have the money to splurge on one..
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 74
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 9:58:34 AM
I made a great mistake by quitting my job and moving with my ex to support his career. I am broke. I would never marry again. He is very comfortable and moving on with his life and I am hurting. IF I had it all over to do again knowing what I know now NO man could convince me to do anything for love. AND I do mean anything.
 stellavixen
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 75
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 3/28/2012 10:13:09 AM
One of the first questions they ask me is if I own my own home or if I rent.
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