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 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 101
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Women's Financial StatusPage 5 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
My sister actually suggested to me a bit back that I should say that the home I live in is rented from her to keep the sharks at bay!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 102
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/2/2012 8:14:11 AM

My sister actually suggested to me a bit back that I should say that the home I live in is rented from her to keep the sharks at bay!


And....you could add that she rents it to you cheap, otherwise you would have nowhere to live, unless you can hook up with a guy who has a nice house that you and your kids and your dog and cat and your elderly parents can move into.

That should pretty well ensure that only the really smitten and rich fellows call for a second date......
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 103
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/2/2012 10:20:53 AM
Now that reminds me of the guy I met about 4 years ago--had a camper, a truck and a Harley--after I got to know him a bit better after we met face -2-face, he started talking about all the places he had lived and so finally i just asked him --so let me get this right--you pull up to a woman's home with the bike in the back of the truck, pulling the camper and then after the lust wears off and when she starts ****ing at you--you just load up the bike and re-hitch camper and move on down the line! I watched his location on his profile keep changing when he occasionally write to me and tell me he was still interested--I think that was when the ****ing had started at his new location.

 Greg19899
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 104
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/2/2012 10:49:57 AM
I believe that women should pay there own way. Women on this site seemt expect romance, free meals and drinks, and thern a guy to be 100% for everything that follows. It isn't fair, this isn't the 1950's, women wanted equality and they got it; along with that comes an expectation that you pay for your part of the bills. I will not enter into a serious relationship with a woman who is broke, lacks education, and has too many demands on her personal time. Sorry.. I don't feel bad about this at all..I read YOUR profiles and I have the same standards... This previous month..I have had to pay for (x number of outings) not one hand reached into their pocket..regardless of the bill... For those of you out there that sya.."who asked who?" It was about 50-50, and it gets old. I've had one date who actually paid her own way and she was from salem, nice lady. As for their income and stability...no major devts, house paid off is great, and no overly needy kids... I've also had the 30 text messages in an hour kids, 4-5 phone calls a date kids...the list goes on..

Other notes..if you bring your kids to the very first date, drink or whatever..you're not a keeper and most guys will run. That's way too soon, and its uncomfortable for everyone.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 105
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/2/2012 12:04:32 PM

I believe that women should pay there own way. Women on this site seemt expect romance, free meals and drinks, and thern a guy to be 100% for everything that follows. It isn't fair, this isn't the 1950's, women wanted equality and they got it; along with that comes an expectation that you pay for your part of the bills.


While I agree with the thought I am old fashioned enough to insist on the first date. But my experience has been quite different I always have to insist.

There is a line there that decides whether you are "careful" with money and just being "cheap". Regardless of equality women still to this day have less earning power than a man in the same profession (I know there are exceptions but as a rule) so IMHO the man should start the turnabout of who pays.



I will not enter into a serious relationship with a woman who is broke, lacks education, and has too many demands on her personal time. Sorry.. I don't feel bad about this at all..I read YOUR profiles and I have the same standards... This previous month..I have had to pay for (x number of outings) not one hand reached into their pocket..regardless of the bill...


I would say you need to spend more time reading profiles and paying attention to messages etc. My experience has been quite different. I have reached for the bill on different occasions and had my hand slapped for doing so. GRIN
Also if you make the arrangements for an expensive meal on a first meeting then it is on you. Make the first maybe the second meeting a coffee or a drink if the cost bothers you.
 woodencreations
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 106
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/2/2012 3:29:24 PM
I'm more in C Deacon's camp. With a caveat.

Being in the construction industry (remodeling), I got nailed when the bottom dropped out of everything in 2008/2009. Lost my home, went broke, blah, blah, blah. And learned quite. a. few. lessons. the. hard. way. Which is my way of saying I don't know the road anyone else has travelled. The upside is, I've pulled myself back up, and though no where near as "comfy" as I once was, I took the lessons learned and applied them going forward. So, if a woman isn't "financially secure/independent" when I meet her and she's got a story to tell, I've got empathy for it.

My problem is there are a lot of women who seem to have the same attitude as greeneyed. Because they are women, they think men should treat. I got news for you, honey, most of what you listed were choices. Just as another poster mentioned, a woman tells me she's broke and expects me to carry the load, I better not find a whole bunch of "choices" piled up in her closet.

In short, at our ages (45+), we should have it together in our own lives, male or female. Communication is key. And if the woman doesn't have the guts to be upfront and honest with me, (and vice versa) they aren't worth having around. If the connection, chemistry, spark -- whatever you want to call it -- is there and there is honesty and willingness to deal with some of the tough stuff, anything can be worked out.
 tlcme1964
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 107
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/3/2012 8:34:26 AM
I never used to care much when 1st dating & after getting divorced, but her financial stability is important now. People in general that are typically can afford a few luxuries in their lives. Doesn't necessarily mean a home or X amount for retirement but some semblance of financial self sufficiency. Ok to pool monies for things but to be relied on to provide it is an out dated mentality that too many women seem to have.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 108
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/3/2012 10:34:09 AM
What it boils down to when all is said and done.....is what you are use to, what you have had over the years, what you were brought up to believe, and how you relate it all to those of the opposite sex that you are interested in and dating.

My Mother was not a homemaker, worked her entire life starting as a telephone operator all the way up to manger of a division, and always brought home as much money as any of her multiple husbands. She was bright, good looking, and knew what she wanted, and it was not being a woman stuck at home and being told what to do. She did the telling her way, and raised her kids with help from her family and husbands that we were all equals in every way.

I was taught to cook and clean because she seldom did. I was taught the value of money early on, and learned to take a quarter and make it into a dollar. We had very little in the beginning with my Mother divorcing so many times, packing up and moving to get away, get promotions, find a new husband, have more kids, on and on, but we did have one thing, and that was equality when it came to providing for ourselves, our lives and our income.

Most of my life, I have been around women that made similar amounts of money that I have made, married one, and enjoyed the equality of what we both brought to the table in our marriage. Life has a way of not always working out the way you want it to, and my marriage failed, but not for those reasons, and because of my upbringing and background, I knew that I would be married once and once only. So, now I date and have relationships with those that may not have what I have, but if they insist that I give them more because I have more, my upbringing and learned lessons from my Mother, makes me take a stand and say no.

I do not mind paying for dates and adventures, but when it is expected, or demanded because I have more, it turns me off and I gravitate towards those women that can afford me as much as I can them, and happy to share that philosophy. My Mother was a woman in a man's world, and acted like a man in business, and a woman in the bedroom. She demanded the same things from her men, and if they wanted a housewife, they needed to keep looking. Right or wrong, my Mother showed me what equality of the sexes was all about, and that lesson has stayed with me, my entire life.

So, I do not apologize for wanting that equality and sharing from a woman in my life, and it does not mean that she must make as much as I do, but it does mean that we take turns showing our equality in as many ways as possible.

cd.........
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 109
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/3/2012 1:57:51 PM
Deacon, was your mom African-American? Because she sure sounds like a black woman to me.....
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 110
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/3/2012 2:49:29 PM
No....She was all German and showed it......Some gypsy too.......and my Father was half Native American and the rest a mixture from all the different trappers that took Natives to be their squaws......Grrrrr!

So, I am a true mutt and proud of it, and even though my Mother was very unconventional for her time, hell for most times, what I learned was that I really was brought up by those male tendencies on both sides of my parents, and that explains volumes of who and what I am, along with much of the why......
 catalina_view
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 111
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/3/2012 2:51:35 PM

Other notes..if you bring your kids to the very first date, drink or whatever..you're not a keeper and most guys will run.

Note to self: quit bringing the kids to bar dates.
 Greg19899
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 112
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/3/2012 7:33:21 PM
True story...lol The kids were great, but I was in shock.. The boy asked me..are you new dad? I choked on my drink and he started laughing..he was being funny..:)
 Mon Cherie
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 113
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/4/2012 4:12:46 AM
Reading through this thread just reminds me how some things never change. I guess the 'other side of the tracks' still exists and people still won't date outside their perceived station in life.

I personally date men who have the traits I respect, like kindness, goodness, integrity etc and men who I am attracted to due to chemistry, etc, not because they are financially secure. I hope someone dates me because they like the same traits about me and not because of my finances. No, I'm not saying my finances are bad - that's no ones business so I'm not discussing that on here. I'm just saying that for me it's very low on the importance list when I'm deciding whom to date so I hope it's also low on the importance list when someone is choosing to date me.

I am not about to discuss finances and how much money I have in the bank or RRSP's with a guy I'm dating until we get serious enough about each other to move to the level that we want to spend our lives together. And if a guy is going to judge me based on whether I own my own home or rent, then he's not for me because that is not an indication of who a person is at all. Some people own a home that is mortaged to the hilt and some people rent and have loads of money in the bank.

I don't want to know my dates financial situation and I'm not discussing mine until I know this is someone I want a long term relationship with and visa versa. It won't get to that point if he is the type who is that superficial because I just would not be attracted to someone like that.

If you think about it, many of the women who are financially secure are in that position because they got the house etc in the divorce and many men are broke because they lost the house etc in the divorce. Does that mean the women is a better catch because she has a house that is paid for and the man is a bad catch because he now rents an apartment?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 114
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/4/2012 4:52:24 AM

I am not about to discuss finances and how much money I have in the bank or RRSP's with a guy I'm dating until we get serious enough about each other to move to the level that we want to spend our lives together.


You don't have to discuss anything, you just observe a person's behavior. There are telltale signs of someone who is in financial distress.
 ronosaurus
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 115
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/4/2012 6:33:40 AM
What are the expectations of a woman 65+?

Back in the early 70's I was initially sympathetic to the feminist's demands for "equality". The economic reality of
that time was many under-employed and under-developed women who were either unable or unwilling to move into the workforce, although government economic and social policy was directed at promoting that objective.

My personal conviction is that cheerful acceptance of "equal obligation" is the only longer term acceptable outcome, and that conviction has increased over the intervening years. Close to two generations have now passed, and this is still evidently not the norm. I'm hoping for better results from my six grandchildren (3 boys, 3 girls) in the next generation!

PS. Although the topic is titled "Women's Financial Status", many of the comments pertain to the broader topic of
"Socioeconomic Status".
PS. PS. Thanks to those who can deal with a "sensitive" topic and still retain their sense of humour!
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 116
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/4/2012 7:06:54 AM
My financial situation is not great in part due to daughter's baby daddy flying the coop (nowhere to be found)leaving us to carry the burden of 3 kids financially. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 117
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Posted: 4/4/2012 8:26:13 AM
Financial status...I don't care

I'm somewhat well off and my assets are my own. My girlfriend is also a professional but if she was destitute it wouldn't matter to me. We aren't interested in formal institutions like marriage and at this stage in life she's not going 'to have a baby'....my assets will stay my own. She has hers. Living in Canada we also have a substantial social safety net so worry about medical costs, etc.

I can live the lifestyle I enjoy and would share that with a partner regardless of her status. If I was 20 years younger it would be more of an issue but in my mid 50's I'm going to enjoy life and my gal. The irony is that the activities I enjoy most...hiking, bacpacking, gardening....don't cost anythihg. also, we prefer a nice picnic and bottle of wine to dining in a fancy restaurant. If I had an extra million dollars I'd havihg nothing I'd want to spend it on.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 118
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/4/2012 11:15:25 AM
I understand what you are saying, Mon Cherie. When I was a renter not too long ago, some friends of mine said that I appeared "unstable" as a renter, and I would probably attract more dates if I became a homeowner. I became one (not to attract dates...it was something that was in my mind to do for a very long time), and then I was told that was not such a smart move, because men would perceive me as needing their help to maintain the home (financially or physically).

So, I guess I am on neither "the right side or the wrong side" of the tracks. I must be in the middle of the tracks...about to be run over by the "dating train."
 Bill45644
Joined: 11/27/2009
Msg: 119
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Posted: 4/4/2012 11:27:29 AM
Well i alwasy had a good paying job and own my own house and that why women want to date me,hoping we get married and they get a piece of the rock..Now being retired that is a plus,cause women 50+ didint think they be in their postion now and looking for a security blanket..I only date women who is in the same boat like me and very happy with that,knowing we both not with eachother,cause of money and will never get married.
Since socal security and pensions looking toward dim for the younger generation,im leaving everyting to my sons..Im a FATHER and i take care of my kids..I would like for them to retire early and have a good life..
Their to many users out their in both sexes,so im playing it safe and pain free and enjoying life.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 120
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/4/2012 1:41:23 PM


that's why money is at the root of all evil!


You got that wrong.......... LOVE of money is the root of all evil.
Money in itself has no powers, and having some money does not make one evil.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 121
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/4/2012 2:04:09 PM

You got that wrong.......... LOVE of money is the root of all evil.
Money in itself has no powers, and having some money does not make one evil.


I would suggest that a serial killer is pretty evil and from what I can tell, not motivated by a love of money. I would probably put rapists and abusive spouses in the same category.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 122
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/4/2012 3:49:44 PM

I would suggest that a serial killer is pretty evil and from what I can tell, not motivated by a love of money. I would probably put rapists and abusive spouses in the same category.


guess you need to correct the bible, as that is where it says the love of money is the root of all evil.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 123
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/4/2012 5:19:43 PM

guess you need to correct the bible, as that is where it says the love of money is the root of all evil.


I don't accept it as some unimpeachable reference if that's what you're suggesting.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 124
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/4/2012 6:55:09 PM
I have had some hard knocks, but I do own my home, have my bills paid, and have my life together through hard work and determination. This economy has been hard on everyone and we need to have some compassion for anyone who has not survived it as well as others have. I am a professional and frankly, would love to meet someone who makes close to what I make.

I have a very nice home, but drive an inexpensive car. I would rather invest than spend on a consumable. Cars are not good investments in my opinion, but a home is. I have medical debt, but my payment history is good. My ex says that I can stretch a dollar like it is printed on rubber and I can. I use coupons, shop carefully, and spend thoughtfully. I can and do go on simple vacations.

I do expect a man to be a hard worker and responsible with his money. If he cannot hold onto a dollar, we do not have the same financial philosophy, so we are not a match any way. I think chemistry is huge, but in order to sustain a relationship, you have to have other areas of compatibility.

I offer to share the bill on dates, and sometimes, the man will let me leave the tip.

I think one thing that is huge is our future financial obligation to our kids, that plays a huge part in our financial status. I have my kids grown and educated. I have more disposable income because of it.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 125
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Posted: 4/4/2012 10:47:33 PM

do expect a man to be a hard worker and responsible with his money


I've never admired 'hard' workers. I admire 'smart' workers who have perspective in life. Americans are a great people but I've lived in the USA twice and the attachment to work is not something I admire. People in other western societies work less, have more time off, etc. yet have decent standards of living. Americans hop on the treadmill and see it as a virtue.
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