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 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 126
Women's Financial StatusPage 6 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)

At my age a man better have his shyte together and be able to afford to be with me... or he
can find plain jane / obese jane/ biker dyke jane/ bipolar jane/ cheater jane, life in chaos jane........... and date her.
That is what it boils down to.

There are man out there who are successful, attractive and have a lot to offer, they seek the
best looking women. They are not interested in unattractive women.

The guys who expect a woman to be a extra income or self paying date, stay single.

thats just the reality of it.


As a counterpoint, a woman our age had better have her shyte together as well. There are very few men that will be willing to take on a financial black hole simply because she looks good.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 127
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 8:37:00 AM
You would be amazed what men are willing to overlook if a woman is very attractive.... a friend of mine who was 150k in debt ( mostly plastic surgery and things of personal grooming) met a guy who paid it all off for her when they married.
There are guys out there like that and not consumed with petty things like if she can pay for her half of dinner :)

I live in an area where there are many men who are VERY successful and do not care if a woman has her own house, has a pension, etc.......


In areas of the country that are depressed, cold and the unemployment rate is sky high... a guy might be looking for a woman who is going to pay for herself to date him...
and he will find obese jane, dyke jane, bipolar jane, etc.
Thank God I don't live in an economically depressed area... if I did I would move to where there is sunshine, work, recreation and successful men.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 128
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 8:50:35 AM
The number of men capable of eating $150K in debt without batting an eye is very, very small. I don't care where you live. Further, men with that kind of financial clout are more likely to be interested in something quite a bit younger than themselves.

The notion that a man with $500K to $1M in assets and a decent pension is going to remain single unless he accepts the character flaws you list is ridiculous. He can also afford to be picky, but he can not afford to take on a woman who pisses away money.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 129
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 9:02:53 AM
The number of men capable of eating $150K in debt without batting an eye is very, very small. I don't care where you live.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

vast difference in number of men or women between a dead city and growing one who have more "options"...

Yes like real estate, location has a great deal to do with what is out there and deemed; desired.

a man who is in his 50;s with what you said is considered "average".. not above average.
I do not date average men and I did not marry average.

a million dollars isn;t what it used to be. Too bad it's not 1950's anymore because then it would be considered something big... not so much anymore.

to note:
why would anyone with any real assets retire in the rustbelt ?
that in itself makes no sense.
Even the average women know to get out of that location !

I california someone with 500K to 1 million would not even be abole to afford to buy a 3 bedroom brick home. Thus... more of less below average, so yes locationmatters. If someone lives in a poor city 1 mil might look like a lot but in reality its not.
so yes location matters,
no one is going to find a pot of gold for dating in the rustbelt or a dead city, all the ones who were abole to leave already DID a long time ago.
 ronosaurus
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 130
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 9:42:00 AM
To Paderic, Holycowwow re Msg 196, 197.
See the web site below for State Occupational Employment and Wage Estimates from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics. Your taxes are being used to prepare these estimates.


http://www.bls.gov/oes/current/oessrcst.htm


From the US Census Bureau web site:
Median Value of owner-occupied Housing Units 2006-2010
Michigan: $144,200
Texas: $123,500
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 131
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 9:48:45 AM
It may be what you consider average, but anyone with an ounce of intelligence can check national databases and see that it's more like 90th percentile for individuals. A whole lot of people in our generation are going to be hurting when they are no longer able to work.

There are plenty of people in the rustbelt worth knowing and we don't need $1M invested in our houses alone. Friends and family are sufficient reason to retire here, or at least to maintain a residence here. One of its charms is that most of the plastic people have left and many of those that remain are good, decent people worth knowing. I've lived in CA, I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

I'm not a gold digger, so a pot of gold isn't what I seek. Besides, I've found that women who have nothing to offer besides their looks are invariably a type of fool's gold.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 132
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 9:52:58 AM
At my age a man better have his shyte together and be able to afford to be with me... or he
can find plain jane / obese jane/ biker dyke jane/ bipolar jane/ cheater jane, life in chaos jane........... and date her.
That is what it boils down to.

There are man out there who are successful, attractive and have a lot to offer, they seek the
best looking women. They are not interested in unattractive women.

The guys who expect a woman to be a extra income or self paying date, stay single.

thats just the reality of it.

agreed- evolutionary psychology. I've said the same, worded differently myself, but people do not like hearing it! Sometimes the truth hurts!


As a counterpoint, a woman our age had better have her shyte together as well. There are very few men that will be willing to take on a financial black hole simply because she looks good.
totally wrong- the ones who can still...ahem... would give anything for an attractive woman to ...ahem...with


You would be amazed what men are willing to overlook if a woman is very attractive.... a friend of mine who was 150k in debt ( mostly plastic surgery and things of personal grooming) met a guy who paid it all off for her when they married.
There are guys out there like that and not consumed with petty things like if she can pay for her half of dinner :)

I live in an area where there are many men who are VERY successful and do not care if a woman has her own house, has a pension, etc.......


In areas of the country that are depressed, cold and the unemployment rate is sky high... a guy might be looking for a woman who is going to pay for herself to date him...
and he will find obese jane, dyke jane, bipolar jane, etc.
Thank God I don't live in an economically depressed area... if I did I would move to where there is sunshine, work, recreation and successful men.
DAYUM, I'm moving to her neck of the woods...


The number of men capable of eating $150K in debt without batting an eye is very, very small. I don't care where you live. Further, men with that kind of financial clout are more likely to be interested in something quite a bit younger than themselves.

The notion that a man with $500K to $1M in assets and a decent pension is going to remain single unless he accepts the character flaws you list is ridiculous. He can also afford to be picky, but he can not afford to take on a woman who pisses away money.
some men enjoy watersports...


I've found that women who have nothing to offer besides their looks are invariably a type of fool's gold.
implying that a woman who looks good cannot be smart, talented, etc?
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 133
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 9:58:24 AM
This whole fincancial thing really boils down to - live within your means. Yes, some lost everything due to divorce and are busy building themselves up again. Yes, some lost a lot due to investments and economy and lost jobs. And yes, some are idiots with money. I just want someone that lives within their means, pays their bills, pays their own way, etc.

And yes, some men will pay for a women's breast implants and whatever else her little heart desires if they think she's a Barbie doll and he thinks he's Donald Trump. It's just not what the average person does. Note the word AVERAGE.

And yes, some women will marry up just to get the fat wallet. I don't care how you slice it - being a goldigger is right on par with being a whore, you sell yourself to the highest bidder one way or another. Sure, many of us would like to marry the rich guy and spend all day posting on here or shopping for designer shoes or sitting around lunching with the other "married a rich guy" ladies. But I'm thinking if you're on here all day or shopping all day you have got to be bored stupid or why else would you do it. I'd rather be working, doing my own thing, contributing.

The majority of folks live ordinary lives, we go to work every day, we shop at Target, we plan a yearly vacation if we're lucky, we enjoy our family and friends and we hope to find a partner that pretty much fits what we like as well. I don't want a freeloader and I dont' want to be a "kept" woman. I expect to contribute and I expect him to contribute. That's what adults do.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 134
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 10:03:11 AM

Most of my friends own homes or condos..and unfortunately only 2 or 3 of them purchased them on their own, most were from a divorce.

I own a home and I am proud to say that it was done on my own and without a divorce settlement. I know more than a few guys who relinquished everything, house, retirement, etc. to their exes and now don't have a pot to piss in. They just walked away and most are bitter.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 135
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 10:03:52 AM
agreed- evolutionary psychology. I've said the same, worded differently myself, but people do not like hearing it! Sometimes the truth hurts!


Another cold hard truth is that women in their fifties are discovering that their looks are fading fast and that there are plenty of younger, better looking women competing for that 0.1% of the male population that is capable of financing a luxurious lifestyle.

If your looks are all you have, I suggest working really really hard on maintaining them.


totally wrong- the ones who can still...ahem... would give anything for an attractive woman to ...ahem...with


Not all men are as stupid as women would like them to be.


DAYUM, I'm moving to her neck of the woods...


If you believe everything you read on internet message boards, I have some land in Florida...
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 136
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 10:36:42 AM
4. If marriage still enters the scenario; I definately would date from my own social class. I


exactly what I was doing... but I found not many men in my situation as I also retired early....
I found lots more choice in the aspect of dating FAR UP ( denist, surgeon, etc)
were more of the men who I connnected with.. so equality in the way of financial matters is limting yourself. There is more to life than finding someone who is equal in all ways.
because my appearance was above average it opened dooors for men that were above average in finances. Granted not everyone has the personal resources and are limited, they do what they can and work within their means and date within limits.
Included in that is location. If you live somewhere there are no dates, with linited people, perhaps a dead city... you are limited.
There is no going around it.
Luck is being the right person , in the right place at the right time.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 137
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 10:48:47 AM
I would add one more rule of thumb:

5. Those that do the most boasting in the online forums are the least likely to be who they say they are.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 138
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 10:49:03 AM
If your looks are all you have, I suggest working really really hard on maintaining them.


Gee Paderic, TY 4 the compliment...

just cuz someone has some $$ does not make them unloveable, so if a man who has some $$ wants to fall in love, why not him, rather than a middle-aged cheapskate???
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 139
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 10:53:50 AM
"I would add one more rule of thumb:

5. Those that do the most boasting in the online forums are the least likely to be who they say they are."

No kidding - if their life is so special way down south in the "all old broads are hotter than a pistol" state, why are they on here all day, 10 hours a day, 7 days a week, spounting off about their fabulous life? Tell you what, if I married a wealthy guy (hell, if I married an average guy) the last place I'd be is on here. Being on here 24/7 sure doesn't sound like what the Rich and Famous do with their time and resources.

OMFG, it doesn't take much to get a rich guy - attitude (because I'm worth it) , plastic surgery and open legs or some other talent.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 140
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 10:56:24 AM
sour grapes is what comes to mind.............
perhaps if you moved somewhere there are available women who have retired or working in great positions/ occupations........ and living in a beautiful and desirable place.......... you could find someone too.No one retires to live in detroit.

as to those who live there:
Not many retired want to stay in "detroit" either.... despite its low cost to live, its big homes for next to nothing as the winters are harsh, the sity is decaying and no one wants to live there . Go to where you will meet who you seek......... and you might find it too.
The situation your in is like looking for a rare beautiful exotic coin of value and in high demand... in
a non civilized rain forest that was never inhabited.
so good luck. In the meantime, plain jane is the best bet, as there is going to be 98 percent of that around... the top 2 percent has fled for a better lifestyle, warmth and all things of enjoying life.

208. I have a successful husband, who is also attractive and more.... there is more to selecting a good partner than looks. After all I have the good looks, so there has to be balance. lol


<div class='quote'>
just cuz someone has some $$ does not make them unloveable, so if a man who has some $$ wants to fall in love, why not him, rather than a middle-aged cheapskate???


exactly.

but the middle aged cheapskate who has high standards really has nothing to offer anyway............
as there are wealthy, handsome men who also have money/ looks and are genuine great guys.
Why start to turn over rocks when you can just move to a more fertile location?


<div class='quote'>
what difference does it make what a group of posters in an online forum think?

it doesn't.
As for me, just sharing my experiences with online dating. I started dating UP, which brought me a much better selection than the typical middle aged ho hum who asks much and offers little.
why does that upset you?

as it
works for me... lol

msg 210. You seem to not believe women can marry up and find love. Too bad.. because they can. Some men can too.
But not all....
the rest are sour grapes ( not the same as envy)
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 141
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 10:59:02 AM

Gee Paderic, TY 4 the compliment...

just cuz someone has some $$ does not make them unloveable, so if a man who has some $$ wants to fall in love, why not him, rather than a middle-aged cheapskate???


That wasn't directed at anyone in particular, just a general recommendation to anyone who gets by on looks alone.

You should fall in love with whoever makes you happy. If you find what you're looking for, what difference does it make what a group of posters in an online forum think?
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 142
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 11:10:27 AM
sour grapes is what comes to mind.............
perhaps if you moved somewhere there are available women who have retired or working in great positions/ occupations........ and living in a beautiful and desirable place.......... you could find someone too.No one retires to live in detroit.


I'm not retired. When I do retire, I won't stay in Detroit. Primarily because I don't like large population centers. I own a nice piece of property by Lake Michigan where I plan to build a retirement home. Still working on the floorplan.

msg 210. You seem to not believe women can marry up and find love. Too bad.. because they can.


I just don't believe that those who HAVE married up waste much time boasting about it in online dating forums.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 143
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 11:18:15 AM
When I do retire, I won't stay in Detroit. Primarily because I don't like large population centers. I own a nice piece of property by Lake Michigan where I plan to build a retirement home. Still working on the floorplan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sounds like a nice dream.

I suggest you look into vacation home in the carribbean........ you would also find lots more retirees there, not to mention greatly improved climate.

ps, who cares what you believe. It is not up to me to prove anything, this is a forum of opinions and mine is to marry up... stop looking under rocks IF YOU CAN, date up and marry up...

or be content with who your match is

or stay single.
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 144
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Posted: 4/5/2012 11:30:40 AM
Not everyone has the same dreams. I would truly miss the beauty of snow and the activities it allows me. Skiing, snowshoeing, snowmen, snow angels...

Besides it allows me to stay fit and I don't have to pay for liposuction. There's and upside to everything. :)
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 145
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Posted: 4/5/2012 11:32:15 AM
You would enjoy swimming, snokeling and the different culture. Granted it not for everyone........
adventure and outdoors is not for all.

it is also difficult to maintain a 2nd home far away. Not everyone has the same dreams.
It is important to find someone who shares yours.

a cold climate would not be for me. no way !
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 146
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Posted: 4/5/2012 11:37:19 AM
Wow! The last few threads have been a real eye opener for sure! My being a working "Cannuck" and living in the land of snow and cold weather must deem me to be a plain Jane! Tis ok by me. I am enjoying my life and all that comes with it. I can take care of "myself" financially so don't feel the need to fortune seek!

And Blue Eyes? How bout the two of us "house trading" for a month in my winter time? lol...I could be in the heat and you could have my snow! Works for me! lol
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 147
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 11:44:16 AM
I have to agree with you Moonchild. I guess us Canucks just treat folks like folks and not a means to an end. And again, if marrying up just means I get to spend 10 hours a day 7 days a week on here spouting off - no thanks. I'd rather have a life - not a pretend life cause if someone is on here all day they have no life. i find that sad and pathetic.

As for sour grapes, I don't think so. I wish those folks well that earn/earned it themselves as opposed to just hanging out with the rich folks.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 148
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 11:44:29 AM
I don't want a freeloader and I dont' want to be a "kept" woman. I expect to contribute and I expect him to contribute. That's what adults do.


Precisely. And if someone is with you for your good character, your wit, your personality, intelligence as much(if not more) as for your looks-then one doesn't have to live in terror of gaining a pound or acquiring a wrinkle.


Not all men are as stupid as women would like them to be.



THANK HEAVEN!!!


I fully respect women who mine gold.


I feel kinda bad for them!


I would add one more rule of thumb:

5. Those that do the most boasting in the online forums are the least likely to be who they say they are.


Good call.



Tell you what, if I married a wealthy guy (hell, if I married an average guy) the last place I'd be is on here. Being on here 24/7 sure doesn't sound like what the Rich and Famous do with their time and resources.


Another good point.


You should fall in love with whoever makes you happy.

You should fall in love with someone where the happiness is mutual.


msg 210. You seem to not believe women can marry up and find love. Too bad.. because they can.


I just don't believe that those who HAVE married up waste much time boasting about it in online dating forums.


I've noticed that often, when a forum regular does find a solid relationship, then they seem to kind of taper off on forum participation. But,when it comes to those who seem to need to tout their relationship sitution, I wonder how often its' really a case of the woman having to keep convincing herself that she has found love AND the pot of gold.

It's been my observation and experience that the strongest and genuinely happiest marriages are between people of similar backgrounds. When I see a marriage where one person has married "up"-I wonder if they don't have to work awful hard keeping up the factors that enabled that upward marriage. I wonder if sometimes these upwardly married people don't feel like they are living in somebody elses' skin, or feel as if they have to maintain a facade.

I will certainly not make any claim that marriages between people of disparate /divergent backgrounds CAN'T succeed-of course they can succeed,but I wonder about the true emotional comfort/security factor within that marriage.
ETA; Can an out-state Michigander agree with the Canucks, that relationships ought to be about who people are and what they can do for each other(and their own little corner of the world),not just all about a big lifestyle upgrade?

As for Paderics' "nice dream"-he says he owns the property so why is it a "dream"?
The big lakes can be beautiful in winter. Not all retirees choose to go into exile in the southern states.

Cindy O
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 149
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 12:02:33 PM
To each their own...
everyone will find their match sooner or later.. or remian single.

It is a smart thing to do to try to find the BEST candiates online, for those who can.. not date down or
get involved with someone who has no reasonable sense about a mate.

I do not know of anyone from the USA to move up north to retire. God bless those that do, those dead cities need people too.
 ronosaurus
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 150
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 1:53:03 PM

Can an out-state Michigander agree with the Canucks?

Yes they can! We're from the land of the Canada Goose! What's good for the Michigander is good for the Michigooser!
Sorry Ladyc4 (Msg 217), I couldn't resist!
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