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 AUTHOR
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 154
Women's Financial StatusPage 7 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)

If all u date are successful men, they u will marry a successful man.


I have no intention of dating any men, successful or otherwise.

Depending on the metrics we use to define successful, refusing to date anything but successful men could also equate to never dating. Mathematically speaking, of course...
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 155
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 2:58:33 PM

"I've noticed that often, when a forum regular does find a solid relationship, then they seem to kind of taper off on forum participation.
i'm in a relationship but am recovering from surgery...the internet & cable TV are a wonderful thing...
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 156
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 3:04:26 PM

successful men oftentimes work long hours & their wives/girlfriends/mistresses may have more time on their hands


true...
and sometimes people are recovering from things in life that require downtime.
:)

I would NEVER thought of that !\

ahhaha
 s4178
Joined: 8/29/2010
Msg: 157
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 6:47:37 PM
Honestly I don't think it should matter. I walked way from everything including child support. Put every penny into my relationship and go nothing out of it other than a broken heart. Would I do it again if I fell deeply in love? Yes!!! Life is not about money folks. Money is great to have nice things but thats not really what counts in a relationship does it? I would think it was a very sad world if that's the most important thing to a potential mate. I don't expect a man to carry me. That why until recent I didn't date. I had no job and was not in any way going to try to build a relationship on depending on a man. I like making my own way in life and will continue to do so. What's important in a relationship is what's in the heart. But I have noticed that social status and money is what's important to most on here.
Just saying! :D
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 158
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/5/2012 8:46:58 PM

What are the expectations from a woman of 45+ in that department? Own her home? Should her mortgage be paid off? Have an X amount of money on savings or in investments, etc?

Just curious, since it seems like a lot of men would like a woman to pay her way on vacations and entertainment, but at the same time to be financially secure and self sufficient with her assets.



You mean compared to most women wanting men to pay for the entire vacations and entertainment and still be financially secure and self sufficient with his assets?

This is one of the reasons I am NOT seeking a LTR or marriage.

Yes I expect any lady I would get into a relationship to pay for half the bills and for half the dates we go on.

Ideally she would have her own home and keep it even if we married. That way if we decided to part ways she would have a home. As mine is protected against any property split as is most of my other assets.

I find it strange for some to find it distasteful for a man to expect a lady to pay her way....while at the same time it is expected for the man to pay for both.

Why is that?
 SpeedracerSmith
Joined: 3/5/2012
Msg: 159
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 6:15:10 AM
Wow..
After reading many of these comments..I'm sure glad I decided to STOP dating from the internet and just be patient and meet someone in real life. It seems there is a lot of bitterness and anger ...and some warped ideas.

I remember when dating was fun and I didn't have to have a mortgage and bring along my stock portfolio to get a second date. I remember when I just dated a man that had a good heart, shared goals and was kind.

I agree, I like to date men who are financially stable and live within their means. It doesn't matter if he has a home or a couple of million..ok, I live in SoCal...about 5 million in the bank...it matters if he is responsible with what he DOES have.

And yeah..I pay sometimes, he pays sometimes...I don't keep track. I don't want a man who keeps track either.

Many of you bring up very valid points...many of you sound bitter.

Yes..I would rather go dateless and spend time with my friends that have to put up with the scrutiny of this dating world.
 AJ2517
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 160
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 6:51:08 AM
OP, I am attracted to women who are financially secure. Women who have great work ethics as I do. Lots of women like that out there. Now, women with "issues" is another topic. Many who no matter what the financial status is, have family issues etc etc. I am sure women can say that about guys also. Online dating, where you get "the good, the bad and the ugly".
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 161
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 9:29:35 AM
Paderic and the like, are you seriously saying you wouldn't date with openness to commit to someone who is attractive, nice, stable, employed and self supporting just because she carries some credit card debt and isn't properly prepared for retirement? Wow, that sounds pretty selfish and you probably deserve to stay single.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 162
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 9:48:18 AM
...And yes, I think it matters as to how a person got into this situation when considering a relationship... Family or health issues now resolved as opposed to just being extravagant and not being smart with money.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 163
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 9:51:44 AM
Agreed.....It does sound selfish, but then again many are selfish when it comes to money and potential financial security.

What I want, is a woman that takes good care of herself, knows that I take good care of myself, and we enjoy that together.......not any form of "give me, give me" attitude on either side. It is much more of a sensible approach that you have yours and I have mine and hopefully we can enjoy what we have without insisting or needing the others be used because you do not want to use yours or do not have it.

I compare it to those women that want to enjoy riding my Harley with me. They may not be able to afford one, or do not want to be in charge of owning one and learning how to manage it, but they like to ride and enjoy the experience. They want to have that back seat, and if they share mine all is good and we have that adventure, but if they expect to be there, and have me pay for the bike, gas, ride, meals, drinks, on and on because I am the one with the bike....we have a problem. I do not mind having a great passenger, but if there, some form of equality should exist to make that experience as good and fair for the both of you as possible.

If one feels entitled that because I can afford to have a bike, and you can not, that I should pay for that pleasure, it would be compared to me then thinking that if you ride with me and I am paying, that you must find a way to pay me, and then we have all those ridiculous concepts of who is offering what to whom for what reason.......which is just a turn off to me.

cd
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 164
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 10:02:34 AM

If one feels entitled that because I can afford to have a bike, and you can not, that I should pay for that pleasure, it would be compared to me then thinking that if you ride with me and I am paying, that you must find a way to pay me, and then we have all those ridiculous concepts of who is offering what to whom for what reason.......which is just a turn off to me.


Agree one of the reasons when I saw a profile of a man that liked to travel a lot I just told him we were not a match. I consider myself very secure and my home is paid off.. However I do not have thousands to spend vacationing every year.. In fact I usually take one every 3 years or so..
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 165
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 10:26:25 AM
I understand the guys not wanting to be used for their financial superiority, but if they were married, and the wife contributed a fair percentage for household expenses and kicked in for activities wouldn't that be sufficient? Or would it have to be 50/50 all the way?
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 166
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 10:37:29 AM

I understand the guys not wanting to be used for their financial superiority, but if they were married, and the wife contributed a fair percentage for household expenses and kicked in for activities wouldn't that be sufficient? Or would it have to be 50/50 all the way?

Judging by the replies I understand that 50/50 is the goal for most of the respondents. Many people are score keepers.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 167
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Posted: 4/6/2012 10:42:18 AM
If 50/50 split is too much, what do you see as the "fair percentage"?
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 168
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Posted: 4/6/2012 10:47:12 AM
^^^In accordance to the income disparity between the 2 parties.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 169
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Posted: 4/6/2012 10:48:05 AM
Not 50/50 at all, unless the two of you get paid the same amount of money and/or have the same investment results, expenses, etc.

We are not talking marriage here, but rather two people enjoying each other either dating, or in a relationship, and taking turns helping each other maintain some form of equality for that pleasure. Some times I pay more, and some times you pay more, and some times we both pay the same or at least work it out and have it understood how our particular relationship is viable for us and us alone!

Just as I do not expect the same level of education for those I date or have a relationship with, so is it with income and investments, but I do expect, no matter the education level of the one I am with, that they can hold their own with me communicating and enjoying those things that education can help one with, and I expect the same financially.

cd
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 170
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 10:50:16 AM
I don’t look at it as “percentage”. It’s a matter of everyone getting their needs met.
If you start keeping score with the money to make sure that it’s strictly 50/50, then you’d need to keep score with everything else to be fair. Time spent for shopping for groceries, cooking, doing laundry, doing dishes, etc. That’s a sad and lonely life from my standpoint. It’s like you are always on guard to not being taken advantage off instead of relaxing and enjoying life together.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 171
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 10:55:35 AM
^^^I agree. And just because one person is better off financially doesn't mean the other can't contribute more in other ways such as cooking dinner on a regular basis. That I have credit card debt means I'm pretty low maintenance. A home cooked meal and movie rental is ok by me for the most part, and if a guy is pretty conservative and enjoys my company, it should be ok with him, too. :)
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 172
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 11:02:16 AM

I understand the guys not wanting to be used for their financial superiority, but if they were married, and the wife contributed a fair percentage for household expenses and kicked in for activities wouldn't that be sufficient? Or would it have to be 50/50 all the way?


I highly doubt most marriages are 50/50.. I say that because a lot of the time a woman will be at home raising the children when young.. Once they start school she might look for a job that will allow her a time schedule so she can be with the little ones after school lets out..

However once we retire like I am we pretty much live on a fixed income.. However I decided to go into my own business to make a little extra..I found many retired men did not like it and even the working ones would have preferred I was available to date more often then I am.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 173
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 11:05:32 AM
Paderic and the like, are you seriously saying you wouldn't date with openness to commit to someone who is attractive, nice, stable, employed and self supporting just because she carries some credit card debt and isn't properly prepared for retirement? Wow, that sounds pretty selfish and you probably deserve to stay single.


I don't regard staying single as a sentence, so your admonishment falls on deaf ears.

If a woman I meet is saddled with huge financial liabilities, I probably would not get serious with her. Just like I wouldn't get involved with an alcoholic. I don't consider a little credit card debt to be a huge financial liability, only a complete moron would interpret what I've posted that way.

Someone in my age bracket that is completely unprepared for retirement is only going to be self supporting temporarily.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 174
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Posted: 4/6/2012 11:14:26 AM
No need for name calling... It is subjective-say being $10,000 in credit card debt+ probably being a little upside down in the mortgage.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 175
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 11:23:46 AM
No need for name calling..


That's pretty funny coming from someone that said, "Wow, that sounds pretty selfish and you probably deserve to stay single." Besides, I didn't call you any names.

I don't believe that you would enter into a relationship with someone that was likely to drag you into bankruptcy. So trying to put a precise number on what someone else would tolerate in a hypothetical situation is just splitting hairs.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 176
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Posted: 4/6/2012 12:00:28 PM
I don't believe that you would enter into a relationship with someone that was likely to drag you into bankruptcy.
---------------
I prefer to think of it as helping a loved one out in a marriage situation. The more a person can pay, (from her income) the sooner she could get out of debt.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 177
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Posted: 4/6/2012 12:02:59 PM

If 50/50 split is too much, what do you see as the "fair percentage"?
^^^In accordance to the income disparity between the 2 parties.


OK, so we established that you are interested only in getting involved with a financially superior man.
I don't know the income figures statewise, but let's put down some hypothetical figures.

Let's assume the woman in question draws $1,500 a month and her monthly expenses to keep the roof over the head and stomach full come to $1,200. Now, a financially superior white knight trots in, whose monthly income is $3,000. He moves in and the combined monthly expenses go up to $1500.

In the simple 50/50% split or $750 each in sharing the expenses, we get the following numbers:
The woman is now saving $250 a month, which constitutes a 83% betterment on her part. Not a bad deal.
If the man had similar expenses before and is saving now the same $250, that's %14 savings for him. Not such a great return on the long-term commitment. Well, it depends on the benefits.

Now, according to your formula, she may say - before I spent $1200 a month on basics, but since you make twice as much, I will now pay only $300. So, now she is saving $900 instead of $300, which translates to 300% betterment, whereas the man (considering increased combined expenses) is now actually worse off then before. No wonder he prefers to park his car in his own driveway.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 178
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 12:14:25 PM
I question those figures, and believe they would both be better off... And, yes Paderic, in my situation, I would want someone a little better off financially than me, and have had several opportunities from men who look at more than the bank account. Most men just want a responsible and loyal mate. It's not unheard of.
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