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 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 176
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Women's Financial StatusPage 8 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
I don't believe that you would enter into a relationship with someone that was likely to drag you into bankruptcy.
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I prefer to think of it as helping a loved one out in a marriage situation. The more a person can pay, (from her income) the sooner she could get out of debt.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 177
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 12:02:59 PM

If 50/50 split is too much, what do you see as the "fair percentage"?
^^^In accordance to the income disparity between the 2 parties.


OK, so we established that you are interested only in getting involved with a financially superior man.
I don't know the income figures statewise, but let's put down some hypothetical figures.

Let's assume the woman in question draws $1,500 a month and her monthly expenses to keep the roof over the head and stomach full come to $1,200. Now, a financially superior white knight trots in, whose monthly income is $3,000. He moves in and the combined monthly expenses go up to $1500.

In the simple 50/50% split or $750 each in sharing the expenses, we get the following numbers:
The woman is now saving $250 a month, which constitutes a 83% betterment on her part. Not a bad deal.
If the man had similar expenses before and is saving now the same $250, that's %14 savings for him. Not such a great return on the long-term commitment. Well, it depends on the benefits.

Now, according to your formula, she may say - before I spent $1200 a month on basics, but since you make twice as much, I will now pay only $300. So, now she is saving $900 instead of $300, which translates to 300% betterment, whereas the man (considering increased combined expenses) is now actually worse off then before. No wonder he prefers to park his car in his own driveway.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 178
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 12:14:25 PM
I question those figures, and believe they would both be better off... And, yes Paderic, in my situation, I would want someone a little better off financially than me, and have had several opportunities from men who look at more than the bank account. Most men just want a responsible and loyal mate. It's not unheard of.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 179
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 12:20:06 PM
And, yes Paderic, in my situation, I would want someone a little better off financially than me, and have had several opportunities from men who look at more than the bank account. Most men just want a responsible and loyal mate. It's not unheard of.


I see, so it's only selfish when men want it.

Again, you're twisting words by saying someone is only looking at a bank account.
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 180
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 12:21:12 PM
I read all of this and think what a spoiled and selfish generation we have become. "WE" are the example for the next generation, very sad.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 181
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 12:39:54 PM
Again we have the heated discussion between those that believe in equality or relative equality within a relationship and those that think there is nothing wrong with marrying up or wanting to marry up.

It's the sense of fair play against the sense of entitlement.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 182
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 12:49:30 PM

, I would want someone a little better off financially than me, and have had several opportunities from men who look at more than the bank account. Most men just want a responsible and loyal mate.


no its not unheard of. I married someone like that......... he makes plenty of money, maybe 4 or 5x what the average american FAMILY would make.
He pays for everything and also gives me spending money weekly.
Also pays for all our vehicles ( and the insutance on them) vacations, major appliances and he is happy to do so.
Much better than the broke and wanting 50/50 of some of these men.
lol

Only people who would say that is an entitlement are those who have sour grapes and know they can never have or be offered that by a man... as yes men like this are out there dating too. they are hoping to find someone too... hoping to find love and a good and responsible partner too.

:)
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 183
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 12:51:31 PM
I don't think it's a matter of entitlement. I guess it's a matter of what we reasonably expect, everyone has their own checklist when it comes to online dating.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 184
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 1:13:43 PM

Now, according to your formula, she may say - before I spent $1200 a month on basics, but since you make twice as much, I will now pay only $300. So, now she is saving $900 instead of $300, which translates to 300% betterment, whereas the man (considering increased combined expenses) is now actually worse off then before. No wonder he prefers to park his car in his own driveway.


Oh dear I thought if living together you would each contribute the same percentage of your income.. Probably the reason why everyone's cars are parked in their own driveways.. That is what I did in my marriage and it worked really well for both of us.. But then again he liked his parking spot and so did I.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 185
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 2:08:18 PM

Much better than the broke and wanting 50/50 of some of these men.


I'm not broke, just determined to avoid women who would make me broke.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 186
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 2:29:17 PM
"I'm not broke, just determined to avoid women who would make me broke. " Touche.

Since I was 21 there have been times when I have struggled or I 've been comfortable or I've been more than comfortable and I'm not broke by any means. What I won't do is whore myself out to the highest bidder. Some seem to think it's okay - that's where that morality question came into before. It's not sour grapes, it's not envy - it's laughing at the laughable which are those that don't seem to think that there is anything wrong with it.
 aboutgettingby
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 187
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 2:40:30 PM


^^^In accordance to the income disparity between the 2 parties.


That is way to logical.

I would be curious to see if this holds when the female makes more than the male, or would it be closer to 50/50 or the male spending more.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 188
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 2:43:27 PM
So my man is taking me out to dinner 2morrow night. He is paying, but I gave him my restaurant d*t c*m gift certificate. He would never allow me to leave the tip.

He asked me what I want for my birthday in 2 weeks- we are going to a concert & dinner for that day. I have not decided what I want...He said he would never dare ask a woman to pay on a date- if he cannot afford to take the woman somewhere he wouldn't ask.

If there were some other guy around who did the 50/50 thing, do you think I'd choose him over the man I have? That attitude towards $ carries over into the relationship. My current partner has come over to change the catbox, vacuum & brought me groceries, taken me to drs. appts cuz I had surgery 6 weeks ago. I'd bet anything a 50/50 man would NOT do this.

I've taken my BF to his colonoscopy, his biopsy, bought him stuff that I saw while I was shopping that I thought he needed(clothes)
One hand washes the other...he makes alot more than me, so he can afford to do more of the washing!
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 189
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 2:52:07 PM
If there were some other guy around who did the 50/50 thing, do you think I'd choose him over the man I have? That attitude towards $ carries over into the relationship. My current partner has come over to change the catbox, vacuum & brought me groceries, taken me to drs. appts cuz I had surgery 6 weeks ago. I'd bet anything a 50/50 man would NOT do this.


That's some of the most asinine logic I've seen yet.

So it's OK for you to choose a man based on money, but it's not OK for a man to choose a woman based on money?
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 190
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 2:52:29 PM
I might not do that for you, but I bet I could pay a housekeeper to do it, and would if I thought it would be helpful and you were to me.

It seems that you keep score as much if not more then then men you are complaining about being 50/50, and I still think it is out of context. So, if this man of yours could not afford to take you out on dates, would he just sit home by himself then and have you wonder why he is not inviting you out, or would you just find some other man that has the money to afford to take you out?

It does go both ways, and when I date those women that make as much as I do, if not more, they should feel as comfortable taking care of my needs and I am taking care of theirs.

cd
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 191
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 3:03:16 PM
So it's OK for you to choose a man based on money, but it's not OK for a man to choose a woman based on money?
I just state my philosophy- I don't care what other people do...as long as they don't drag me into it...


That's some of the most asinine logic I've seen yet.
How is getting MY NEEDS met asinine?

and no, I have zero debt, house & car is paid for & I live w/i my means...I drive a Kia for C____t's sake! I even bought some clothes @ Walmart...but if my BF wants to buy me a designer purse or jewelry, why would I deny him that particular pleasure? I don't ask 4 these things, that is the difference b/w a gold digger & a woman who accepts what is offered to her :0)


So, if this man of yours could not afford to take you out on dates, would he just sit home by himself then and have you wonder why he is not inviting you out, or would you just find some other man that has the money to afford to take you out?
If a 55 yr old man cannot afford to take his honey out once a week, he has some sort of financial issue- I never specify where, but if i know of a discount, coupon, etc, I certainly let him know...I also bought tickets to shows for both of us, but generally when we go, he will insist on a nice dinner...I contribute what I can & so does he, but he can afford more, & there is no splitting of hairs.

A creative man can do a nice date for $30 for both of them, & not have to ask her to chip in...there's always those chain restaurants...:wink:
 Luv_Lyfe
Joined: 7/19/2010
Msg: 192
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 3:06:09 PM
What I expect is that a woman be financially stable, have a history of good decision making and live commensurately with her income and assets. Such women are much rarer than I once hoped them to be.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 193
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 3:19:52 PM
I've had friendships with the extremely wealthy types in my life travels...although I've always had to work for my money and, honestly, have enjoyed the work adventures I've had. Most of the truly wealthy I have known would never even consider blathering about it in any public forum.


Bingo. Although I'm sure Harvey is a great guy...


What I expect is that a woman be financially stable, have a history of good decision making and live commensurately with her income and assets. Such women are much rarer than I once hoped them to be.


You got that right!

How is getting MY NEEDS met asinine?


What is asinine is the conclusion that a man who looks at a woman's financial state would not do any favors for his partner. You're painting men as selfish for using the same criteria to choose a partner as you use yourself.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 194
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 3:35:55 PM

...I drive a Kia for C____t's sake! I even bought some clothes @ Walmart...

I've taken my BF to his colonoscopy, his biopsy, bought him stuff that I saw while I was shopping that I thought he needed(clothes)

It's very nice and commendable that you took him to all those places, even in Kia.
But I can't imagine that he was too happy about the clothes from Walmart.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 195
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Posted: 4/6/2012 3:51:56 PM

I don't think it's a matter of entitlement. I guess it's a matter of what we reasonably expect

Well put, just some of the reasonable ones expect entitlement.
 mjinict
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 196
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Posted: 4/6/2012 4:02:23 PM
won't?
I think you mean can't............
thats not morality, its no other options.
You think it's ok to have casual sex and state there is nothing wrong with it.
Others do not feel that way. From what I can tell you give it away. No options does not equal moral.

-------------------------
Haha!! Right on!!
Just look at the pics of the opposing sides, and it pretty well sums it up!
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 197
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 4:32:17 PM
The only person who got walmart clothes was me (D@nsk!n)
The man I see, he got designer stuff on sale...



It's very nice and commendable that you took him to all those places, even in Kia.
But I can't imagine that he was too happy about the clothes from Walmart


“There are no ugly women in the world, just lazy ones” ~ Coco Chanel


Those of us without a rich man must be deficient in some area, probably ugly or fat I suppose.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 198
Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 5:12:31 PM
"thats not morality, its no other options.
You think it's ok to have casual sex and state there is nothing wrong with it.
Others do not feel that way. From what I can tell you give it away. No options does not equal moral."

Some folks read something but the comprehension is not there - nowhere did I say that I "gave it away". I said I don't judge anyone who doesn't like sex or doesn't mind casual sex or won't have sex until they are in a committed relationship. We all make choices. And really, is there a difference between giving it away and selling it to the highest bidder? And thinking of that as "no other options" - we're back to whores again as there are always other options besides selling yourself.

I think Largo pegged it correctly in her post above.

Some folks even hold onto a relationship with no passion and no future - just a once a week roll in the hay hoping that one day he'll see how wonderful they are and support her and her family in the way she'd like to become accustomed. Those with FB relationships shouldn't throw stones.
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 199
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 5:18:15 PM
I dated a rich man with a poor personality and attitude.
I dated a middle class man with a poor personality and attitude.
I dated a poor man with a poor personality and attitude.

I don't like "poor". If a man is rich in personality and attitude I don't care how much money he has, because our lives will be rich and full. Some of the richest times of my life were when I was poor financially.

Cow and Blondie may only be happy with a rich man, and if that is what is important to them and makes them happy so be it. Everyone posting in here doesn't want someone poorer than them, but yet they are acting high and mighty. Sheesh, look in the mirror and look at your selves.

I couldn't believe it when they asked for our income on here, that is no one's business, and I assume everyone lied about it. I sure wasn't going to tell this site my assets and income. Money doesn't give people "class" and that is extremely evident in this thread.
 I_Am_Suchafnlady
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 200
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Women's Financial Status
Posted: 4/6/2012 8:30:42 PM
c_deacon . . . . I find it odd in our age group that we talk about going dutch on dates. It is innate for the man to take the lead on paying for dates. Being a mature financially secure woman has nothing to do with the "dating scene." It's just a weak move on the man's part to ask his woman to pay. And what woman wants a weak man? What woman wants a man who cannot provide for them, even if they can provide for themselves? Same way a woman does not want a man who can't protect them. Do you also expect a woman to fight the battles equally as well? If you and your woman are attacked while walking down the street, would you expect the woman to "take turns" protecting you and her? I don't think so. It is innate for you to "be the man" and protect your lady. There are age-old hard-fast rules that will never change. You know it is true. I am sure you have missed out on alot of dating by thinking that way c_deacon.
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