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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 fishnomore
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 116
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I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?Page 15 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
I can't rate how pretty you are ... i don't know I've never met you. The really important think is what you believe about you... you need to believe that you are a good person and worthy of being cared about by someone. In order to do that you need to care about yourself first. Not easy and not feeling worthy comes with the territory of being raped. You need to get counselling and support from a rape crisis centre where people understand and care and where others have had the same feelings as you. You are not alone in you thoughts. There are many things that happen when one is raped and feeling badly and worthless because of being raped in one of them. I am not 17 but rape has affected my life and believe me when I say making that phone call to the crisis centre for counselling can give you back some of your self-esteem.
It took me a long time to do so but it has given me hope and I am learning to like me. I just wanted you to know someone cares, and wants you to care about you too. I am old enough to be your mother, god scarey I just figured it out on paper I could be your grandmother .... so please do not waster you young years feeling unworthy, you are and there are people waiting to help you learn how make the call to a rape crisis centre near you. It doesn't matter that time has past the wounds are still there and they can help.
Take care
fishnomore
 witchbiz
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 117
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 8/17/2007 4:40:26 PM
O h sweet angel
You are worth more than all those cruddy Guys ''
And yu need to get some help asap so that yu may save yur self worth ''
Yu are a Beautiful person and need remember that inside and out ''
I have been through it myself but much younger than yu and yes Time doe's heal but yu don't always forget but learn to handle it and know that through the years these things are Lifes Lessons '' And there is someone out there for yu Little one and
They will Love you and all of yu
So please Get that help and start anew Life a Happy one s

Love and light
witchbiz
 dool
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 118
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I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 8/17/2007 5:01:40 PM
Advice from a gay man who thinks he has dealt with any self esteem issues...

... DON'T TRY SEEKING ANY FORM OF APPROVAL FROM GUYS (or women if you're a lesbian or straight man)

hopefully your councillor might help you out. You're young, your insecure and dont know what this means. you're a bit dumb and hang out with the 'in' crowd. its ok you'll probably reach a higher understanding later darlin!!
 steeljason13
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 119
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 8/17/2007 6:08:05 PM
You are not worthless its in your head. I dated a girl that was raped and she couldn't let me in. I never asked about it never pushed it but she still couldn't. You have to think your worth something. She always kept saying she never felt when I told her I saw something in her she wouldn't see it. The guy that did this to you should be shot in my mind. You are worth something. You just have to see it too. Don't let this control you.
 ArmorPierce
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 120
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 8/21/2007 4:26:18 PM
how would it endanger her? Only way I can see it endangering her is that people realize that they can rape her and she won't tell anyone . had a girlfriend that this happened to starting when she was 6 with a friend of a family, then her cousin who was told by the his friend that her pussy was good and that he should try, then her uncle the uncles father, then her mother's boyfriend her mother told the boyfriend about the time she was 6-8 by the friend (her mother thought it was consentual at the time and beat the shit out of her, she didn't find out it was rape until she was 14 but still called her a whore and wished that she gets aids and dies), he responded by saying that if that had happened to his daughter that he would kill the guy. Her mother promptly gave him they key to the apartment and forced her into situations that she would be alone with him. For example he would suggest to give her a ride to school after giving the mother a ride. She couldn't refuse or leave early because her mother would call her a whore and beat her so that lasted for over a year, and then her younger brother who was also told by the mother while she was sleeping but she was able to quickly kick him off upon waking up. With my help she told her mother about the bf and brother but her mother refused to believe her and her mother gave free reign over her brother to get physcial (shove her, tell her what to do) in front of her and if she said something she'd get smacked by the mother. Honestly, I don't see getting raped once or twice that big of a deal since I've been with this girl thats been raped regularly numbering in the hundreds.
 Sloane Reilley
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 121
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/5/2007 8:38:21 PM
Sweetheart, YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS, HE IS! I'm an ex-cop with a speciality in sexual assault and child abuse.
1. I beg you, talk to a therapist who specializes in rape and child abuse.
2. You are still beautiful and it's OK to be attractive. You did nothing wrong and no one EVER deserves to be raped and or "asks for it" I've prosecuted men who've raped prostitutes and women who were raped by their husbands'
3. Pray for discernment, God will keep evil people away from you if you do this. Also, stick with your girlfriends and if you drink, keep it safe and sane, or sip on pop.
4. Your body belongs to YOU and you can say NO! at anytime. If he doesn't stop, you're being raped!

Honey, I am so sorry this has happened to you, but you have a long and wonderful life ahead of you. Therapy will help you move past this. You won't forget and anybody who tells you to "get over it" has obviously never been criminally assaulted before or they're lying.

One thing I can promise.....you will be OK!

Lorrie
 janedoexyz
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 122
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/5/2007 11:03:30 PM
Rebecca,

His actions had nothing do with you. He had a terrible childhood, his dad did this, his mom did that, his uncle did something, Et. Et.....

Yet, you are left with dealing with his problems that he created for you. You are dealing with his violation of you emotionally and physically.

If you can do this for yourself:

Occupy yourself so you are not alone to think about it. (I'm not saying that it won't enter your mind in public, it will just NOT TAKE OVER your mind in private if your busy) I believe the most powerful tool that abusers have is isolation of their victims. Their victims are still victims long after the abuser has forgotten about them. Especially if the victim is isolated, and alone with the memories.

You wrote something that tells me you are on the right track. You wrote that you were raped. Many women are raped every day by boyfriends and husbands and don't see it as rape because they were in a relationship with the person. Yet you saw it for what it was. Good for you!
 Pisces619
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 123
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/5/2007 11:19:10 PM
You were raped by your boyfriend? Smoke a little dope do we or what? What a stupid statement? Why would you have a boyfriend who rapes you? Unintelligent-period. Did he only rape you when you weren't in the mood or something? JESUS!
 janedoexyz
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 124
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/6/2007 9:43:36 PM
To: Pisces619,

I had to post something out of your profile.....

I'm just so positive, easy to get along with & much fun!

Yet you wrote this to this thread:

You were raped by your boyfriend? Smoke a little dope do we or what? What a stupid statement? Why would you have a boyfriend who rapes you? Unintelligent-period. Did he only rape you when you weren't in the mood or something? JESUS!
 Pisces619
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 125
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/22/2007 10:50:29 PM
How can it be rape if she's willingly the guys girlfriend? WTF??????
 becca210
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 126
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/22/2007 11:05:19 PM
This thread is over 2 years old; but this is the first time I've seen it. I've read most of the replies and am just appalled at how many people could relate because of a similar situation.
This is just horrible. I know I'm a lot older and people are sexually active much earlier today....but at 17 I barely knew what sex was.
I do know from my volunteer work that there are rape crisis centers in most towns now...and you have given very good advise.
It is just sad that so many of you had first hand knowledge.....bless you all.
Becca
 Pisces619
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 128
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/27/2007 9:34:52 AM
I sure wish someone could help me make sense instead of calling me names. I think I have a VERY valid point here. Cmon people, the guy was her Self Proclaimed Boyfriend whom she most willingly chose to be best friends with & carry on a relationship with even with his continued phisical advances. I'm sure if she wanted him to leave her alone at any point she could have gotten a court order. Her predicament just dont make no sense (scratching my head)
 Pisces619
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 129
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 12:19:48 AM
The one woman says she was raped by her husband? OK that's enough for me...
 powerhouse375
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 130
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 12:40:28 AM
dont take shit off any man thats wrong and you should press charges thats something youll have to live with and it shouldnt be allowed to happen to someone else
 HappyGuyx2x
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 131
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I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 5:55:15 AM
please dont feel like that -------im a man so i dont know these things but please dont think that ----- there are good men out there and im one dont loose hope hun
 Pisces619
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 132
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 10:15:51 AM
When will people learn to smarten up & not put up with other people's crap & abuse anyway? That's what I'm talking about! It just amazes me some people will put up with ANYTHING negative in their relationships. If the person your with cant be your best friend & you cant get along amazingly together why would you be around them at all? Don't make no sense. Yes, rape is wrong, I understand that... but for all people living in abusive relationships I can only roll my eyes & shake my head because I'll never understand them. Too Needy? Don't you think your better off alone? Personally I've focussed on areas of self improvement ie: better career, making more $, developing new interests *YES people there actually is WAY more to life than counting on other people to complete your happiness* So What if you never find love, a soulmate? What's the big friggin deal? Take a vacation, get your motorcycle licence, go camping, try fishing- Do stuff that will make YOU happy & forget the bullcrap- it's not worth it & life is too short to put up with other people making your life miserable. I wont even charge you for this free advice, it should be common sense- Dr. Phil
 Pisces619
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 133
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/3/2007 10:26:39 AM
Note to Carnel- Date Rape is technically what happens to someone out on a DATE. If your already stupidly involved with some obvious psychomoron & your putting up with it then be my guest & call it whatever you want but I dont think the term "rape" actually fits. Thats what I'm trying to say. & people, you should stay away from relationships that make your life miserable. HOLY! So much thread on this when really it should be common sense obvious. I'm thinking I should get a degree & become a councillor so I can help all these screwed up people. Probably make lotsa $$$$. It's just too easy, really...
 diamondjoe101
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 134
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I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/4/2007 6:23:32 PM
First, it should be pointed out that abuse and/or rape is inexcusable under any circumstances. It's ashame that you didn't report this person that raped you, especially being that you were underaged and all.
That being said, it's very obvious that you have some serious self esteem problems. I believe a few people mentioned therapy, which may not be a bad idea. However, the main thing you need to do, is convince yourself that you are not worthless! If you continue to think that way, guess what?, people are going to continue treating you in that same way. develop some personal boundaries, and most importantly, enforce them. Otherwise, you're nothing more than a door mat, welcoming the dregs of humanity to walk all over you. I obviously don't know anything about you, but I can safely assume that you deserve better than that, simple because you are human being that needs to be treated with dignity and respect. However, you have to start by treating yourself with that same dignity and respect you want to be treated with.
It sounds like you may indeed need therapy, but even if you just start by making an effort to be around people who know how to treat you well, you probably have a foot in the door. I would also suggest that you hold off looking for that special someone until you do find a way to feel better about yourself. I wish you the best of luck.
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 135
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 9/30/2009 11:32:20 PM
Aww boo..hoo.. So what do you want, sympathy? It amazes me how girls like you will spread their self pity all over the place.

What's even more funny is a faceless profile like you asking about your looks.
 48chevy
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 136
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I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 9/30/2009 11:56:25 PM
well 1st of all your ex-boyfriend should be in jail.
there is no picture of you on here nor should there be, so it makes it hard to answer your question about looks. what i can say is that you are only 17, you need to just get out and enjoy doing what YOU like to do and eventually the guys who are more into you for being you will migrate to you. the old saying about being yourself, is still the best advise anyone can give you. The only other thing i will say is that the first time a guy is even verbally abusive to you get rid of him right then.
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 137
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I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/1/2009 5:05:49 AM

Aww boo..hoo.. So what do you want, sympathy? It amazes me how girls like you will spread their self pity all over the place.

What's even more funny is a faceless profile like you asking about your looks.


Wow....

Nevermind the fact that this thread has been long dead for a year and a half, this text that I quoted is scary, and should be stamped on your forehead for any woman to read before they decide if they want to go out with you.

To tell a 17 y/o girl who's been raped and has no support system to suck it up because she's just looking for pity.... it's sad, cruel, and many other adjectives I can't use on the forums.
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 138
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/1/2009 7:38:27 PM
Wow....

Nevermind the fact that this thread has been long dead for a year and a half, this text that I quoted is scary, and should be stamped on your forehead for any woman to read before they decide if they want to go out with you.

To tell a 17 y/o girl who's been raped and has no support system to suck it up because she's just looking for pity.... it's sad, cruel, and many other adjectives I can't use on the forums.


^^^ No shit, and the fact that some guy would come in this very same thread just to quote and reply to me is umm...quite scary itself. You know what's really sad? whining wussy's like you getting offended over one single comment.

Here's a tip, if your gonna get seriously hurt by a few words on a screen, then don't read it. plain and simple. BTW I'll take you up on that offer of the stamp thing, that is after you stamp the words "whining crybaby" on yours...deal?
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 139
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I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:26:57 PM

No shit, and the fact that some guy would come in this very same thread just to quote and reply to me is umm...quite scary itself. You know what's really sad? whining wussy's like you getting offended over one single comment.

Here's a tip, if your gonna get seriously hurt by a few words on a screen, then don't read it. plain and simple. BTW I'll take you up on that offer of the stamp thing, that is after you stamp the words "whining crybaby" on yours...deal?


I'm only happy that the garbage you spew is all over your page for women to read.
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 140
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 10/4/2009 8:31:56 PM
Whew! Now this gives me so much more relief since I'm only here for the forums. They can read my hsitory posts all they want and knock themselves out. I sure won't lose any sleep over it..
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