Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 101
view profile
History
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?Page 5 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
You, my dear, were the victim of a crime. by not reporting that crime, you ar allowing a criminal practice his behavior on someone else.
Because you've been a victim you are acting as a victim and in acting that way you will attract those that will take advantage of you.
I have not seen your picture to judge if I think you are pretty or not, but the abuse will cloud your judjment and you will attract those who take advantage of your clouded judgment.
At 17 years old, you do not have the experience of knowing someone is a good guy or not and most good guy appearences are not what they seem. Remember that you didn't think the first guy was going to be abusive untill he was.

Counseling would be very helpfull for you to learn how to avoid abusive relationships.
I think no matter what you do this will affect you for quite some time.

Finnaly, you can change your looks to whatever you want. magazines make billions on teaching women the current trends that give you better looks. Don't be worried weather your looks will attract lots of people. Smile for the guy you absolutly know won't abuse you and he'll think your beautifull.
 PiEd_PiPeR
Joined: 9/12/2005
Msg: 102
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 3/19/2006 9:39:52 AM
I wish i could give ya a loving Hug,

Your Not worthless, not by far,



Pied Piper
 romance6769
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 103
view profile
History
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/1/2006 9:21:09 AM
hello rebecca yes you are young , you shouldnt really be expecting somthing so serious for starts , but no matter what , no man has the right to treat anyone like that , i hope for starts you let the law take care of part of that , but the most important thing is you , remember that you are the most important thing to you , respect your self and dont let people disrespect you , i am sure that your looks on the outside are lovely , you even said people tell you this , but forget all that you need to be concerned about the in side for starts yoyu dont need to be with a man to be some one , you are some one , you are unique , you need to try it on your own for a while , and get to know yourself first and see what you need for you as just you , and when you are happy with yourself , only then can you let some one else into your life , as they say you have to love you befor you can truely love some one else or even know what kind of guy you need to love or needs to love you . i can help a little , you need a very understanding guy that will let you be you not what they want you to be , you can only be you and sometimes it takes some time to learn who you really are , especially when you have had the abuse to your self asteam like you have , i have seen so many people in your shoes , but i have to say you will be ok as long as you , find you first , then look for that love , dont let guys sweet talk you with what you want to here , that is your game players and you dont want that , ok you are lovely on the outside they tell you ,ok say thank you and be on your way , and find that same great beauty on the inside that you have on the out side , it is there you some times just have to look deep , and it sometimes takes a while , but you will get ther .
you took the first step by asking thousands of people on this sight for help , just remember you will still get those guys trying to play on your emotions ,so be very carefull, not to fall , you are very young, so you have alot of time so dont try to push it you will find you , as i said you asked for help so you are on the right track so ,really ,good luck .
I AM TIM AMD IF I CAN BE OF ANY HELP IN THE FUTURE LET ME KNOW , I DONT KNOW IF THIS COMES RIGHT TO YOU OR NOT BUT IF IT DOES YOU WILL KNOW HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME , THIS SAME HING HAPPENED TO MY NEICE SO IF I CAN HELP I WILL , I AM HEAR TO TALK .
AGAIN I AM TIM
 harrison_wildman
Joined: 8/13/2005
Msg: 104
view profile
History
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/1/2006 2:54:09 PM
well for starters i would get ahold of the rape crisi center.Then i would talk about charges on the looser.Rebecca remember you are someone and not a piece of meat.This guy deserves to be in jail and not out tring to do it again.just think he could try it again.I help out poeple in you're predicamet.by all means i hope i have helped you out a little
 mesmer22
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 106
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/1/2006 7:10:31 PM
Your ex boyfreind should have his balls cut off it is a shme that you met an ***hole like that. I do not think that guys are pushing you away but maby you are subconsiously pushing them away because of the traumatic experience you have been through,
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 107
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:26:33 AM
, do not get a male therapist get a female to help you with these issues, also get alot of female friends most men are dirty dogs and will lead you away....
===========================
What the hell are you talking about byrd.
Male therapists are essential becasue ONLY males (not just therapists) have the knowledge of violence to truly understand that rape is a violent act, not a sexual one.
 play_gurl69
Joined: 4/1/2005
Msg: 108
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:14:19 AM
Hi there I understand what you are going through because I am currently going through the same thing now, when I found this guy that I really liked he said to me that looks werent everything then when I told him why I wouldnt sleep with him straight away he asked why so I hessitantly told him. He was upset and angry that people can do that sort of thing to other people and I understand how you may feel worthless, but there is good people out there. I also have trouble when people give me compliments because as a result of being raped you either cling on to people or you dont at all, I dont think it is your looks that are driving people away and from my point of veiw there is nothing wrong with you personality but some guys find it hard to become involved with someone so to speak when they are an emotional wreck.
Cruddy guys as you put it are more likely to go after anything that will give them what they want exactly, and some of them are just a***holes in general but just be careful with who you are associating with because you need to regain trust with people not loose it again.
I hope I was of some help I have msn if you ever wanna talk casey_murdoch2006@hotmail.com
cya!!! AND GOODLUCK
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 109
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/2/2006 12:20:20 PM
You said no. And you were forced. That's rape no matter how you define it. I'm sorry it has cost you so much. But any guy that would leave his fiance because she was raped is not someone you want to be married to. Trying not to come across as a dirty old man here, but you are lovely, and will have no trouble finding a worthwhile guy when you're ready.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 110
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:08:19 AM
I think it's every four minutes a woman is raped...EVERY FOUR MINUTES.....
======================
Rainy. This mass hysteria is doing more harm than good.

What are you like with basic maths.?

One every four minites where.? In the whole of Canada.?


You would be looking at about ten million rapes over a period of eighty years which is the average life span of the average woman.

Whats the total female population of Canada? (No I don't know it.) Is it forty million. If it is then by age 70 or so one woman in four should have been raped. Thats either your mum, or one of your grand mums, or a couple of elderley aunts.

Now ask around and find out how many HAVE been raped. In my entire life I've met about a dozen women and three men.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 111
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:14:14 AM
Worthless????

My black sense of humour arises again.

Worthless is the woman who sits in the passanger seat, filing her nails, while griping, hurry up, we'll be late, while you sweat blood tryng to fix it.

Thats what I call worthless.
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 112
view profile
History
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 7/7/2006 8:43:07 AM
Before I start...allow me to acknowledge your pain and suffering. No matter what, that is very real for you.

Now.....What you need to do is just stop having relationships until you figure yourself out. Grow up some. Mature, and work on yourself! As long as you keep trying to define yourself thru these very dysfunctional relationships.... you will keep coming up as a "nothing", and worthless feeling.

Obviously you started your sexual activity very young if you are only 17 now. You need to "stop"....and start over again!!! Trying to "fix' the very bad things that have allready happened in past relationships (and I use that term very loosely?) by looking for something in a new relationship.....won't work! I repeat...won't work. You MUST get the focus back on yourself, where it belongs.

I see that most posters on here are focusing on the perpetrators..... and I suppose that can be kind of cathartic for you... but it doesn't solve your problem. Your problem is not the creeps... it is YOU. Why do you even allow such people in your life at all??? Why do you make it so damned easy for them.?? And, why don't they seem to even like you much?? these are "YOUR" questions...not theirs. If you don't take a year or two off from trying to find someone who will make you feel good..... you will just keep failing. You are so young. You have a full lifetime of relationship and sexual fullfillment ahead of you. Its OK to take a few years off right now!!! good luck.
 ubergeekazoid
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 113
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 8/22/2006 12:30:26 PM
Hey sweetie...I thiink I responded to you once before...but I wanted to let you know again that you are not worthless, you are Priceless! Someone took something from you, and that makes them a victimizer, and it makes you a victim. You are in my prayers Rebecca...
-Em ,<
 niceguy_81
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 116
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 8/25/2006 3:03:38 AM
Minor get off the site. HELLO is anybody paying attention here? Delete that girl's profile. NOW!
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 118
view profile
History
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/5/2006 1:45:45 PM
don't completely agree with not getting a male therapist, while they might not know from personal experience what you have gone thru feels like, it just may help you to trust a male again...
 bwbsvm
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 119
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 11/6/2006 1:19:57 AM
your certainly not worthless. I 'd give anything to have you.
 shyguy7578
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 121
view profile
History
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/12/2006 3:53:39 PM
Guys pushing you away has nothing to do with you or your looks. It might be that you tend to fall for the wrong guys is all.
 catman40
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 122
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/12/2006 6:29:33 PM
THIS might help someone here . I was going with a girl for 4 years . count them . 4 years . no sex . no touching . I bought a freindship ring and SHE SAID I WAS MOVING TO FAST . 4 years a freindship and I am moving too fast ? yeah sure . well , her and I broke up . NOW , she has only known this guy 3 months and guess what . she thinks , she is in love with him . Oh I asked " did you two kiss " . she said yes yes . SO WHAT DOES HE HAVE I DON'T . she said he is not one to say I look pretty . WOH WOH . because I say you look pretty is thee reason you are going with him ?
 ladyrcmt
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 123
view profile
History
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/12/2006 7:00:25 PM
honestly i found this thread too annoying to even read.

i was raped when i was 18 and it has never haunted or bothered me because i took responsibility while it was happening...for putting myself in that situation.
in fact, it was because i did that, that i was able to get away from this guy before he killed me.

that is not always the case with rape, sometimes it is a full on ambush.
but alot of times, it is about not using your head and respecting yourself and your life.
 UandIBelieve
Joined: 6/10/2005
Msg: 124
view profile
History
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/12/2006 7:10:39 PM
Sweetie, One of my good friends was raped by a inturder that climbed into her window. Her boyfriend was very patient and loving... he said to her " That man touched your body but he could never touch your soul" They got married a year later and have been married for many of years... There are good men out there and it is only a coward that would force a woman to have sex. It was his problem he is the sick one... Please know your worth and you did nothing wrong. You are young and you have a whole life time of love ahead of you... Do not give this person any power over you... lift your head up and remember that most women have had bad experiences. Be proud that you have the courage to post this and there is lots of good advice here... Smile and love
 Wren
Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 126
view profile
History
I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?
Posted: 12/13/2006 5:52:58 AM
Hi, Rebecca

I believe we teach people how to treat us, and as soon as you see yourself as a beautiful being that you are and treat your self the way you would have others treat you your life will change and you will attract the one for you. Were like magnets and we attract to us what we need to learn about ourselves. Love your self and others will be attracted to you.
All the best Ray
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > I was raped and now I'm worthless...advice?