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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Oh now, she looses the weight      Home login  
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 126
Oh now, she looses the weightPage 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I loved that movie Shallow HAL!!! She was obviouslly during the time you were married to her a "emotional eater", very common eating disorder. She stuffed all her feelings away and gained alot of weight.Maybe SHE LEARNED HOW TO DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONAL ISSUES? If not she will either gain it back or go real thin.
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 127
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/31/2008 11:42:38 PM
really some times people gain it cause they get comfortable with people they are with,
I know i did andwhen i left my ex i looked on the skale and that woked me up i started loseing my weight and women and you men do the same you get with some one and let yourselfs go . it's to bad his relatetionship didn't work out but at least he can learn next time he gets with some one is to join a gym and work together if not for weight loss just to stay fit.
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 128
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/31/2008 11:44:21 PM
Hate to say it, but maybe she had to lose you, OP, to lose the weight.
Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 129
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Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 8/31/2008 11:55:15 PM
~OP Sometimes in our life someone emotionly brings us down , our bodies go through changes when we feel like we don't have that support of the ones we love. Dear be happy she lost the weight and has someone and is happy getting on with life as should you, don't look back sweety just wish her well and smile:) If anyone is going to loose weight they should do it for them and not anyone else.

Wishing you the best keep ya chin up ~Brenny
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 130
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/1/2008 4:16:55 AM
soooooo easyyyyyyyyyyy people get lax when they become used to each other. ..and they SHOULD be able to...if someone loves you thin, they'd better love you fat too....otherwise, it's not true love, is it now?!!! .................and when people are shoved out on the dating scene again, they get a lot fussier about their appearance by initial attraction necessity!
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 131
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Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:10:57 AM
I guess the motive for some people in a relationship is to find someone they can be with after they abandon all sense of responsability or discipline as they are applied to any area of life.
 german chick 1968
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 132
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:37:42 AM
my dear mel .
I sure do hope , when ever I do find man, he will love me for who I am , and not for who he wants me to be ...
my extra pounds, curves and all that comes with it .....
how would you feel if your SO would tell you day in and day out ." I dont like the way you, or your hair, or your nose looks . or your butt, the way them pants looks on you , the list goes on and on .
WE all are who we are , not everybody can look like a modle , and to be honest I dont wonna look like one .
I likes my curves or fat or what ever you wonna call it ...
she is your ex , right ...
so leave the past in the past , move on and wish her luck
 *~*Royal Majesty*~*
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 133
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/3/2008 10:54:10 AM
As fas as the OP's ex-wife goes, I say "Ya Go Girl"!

Isn't it funny how all of a sudden when someone changes thier appearance, they're suddenly treated better or worse?

As a lady who also changed her appearance drastically over the years, I have personally experienced what it was like to be treated one way before & after. I have learned that I DO NOT want to be around nor will I EVER Trust those who behave like two-faced "shallow hals"!

No matter how"good looking or physically attractive" people think they are or perceive others to be, if they cannot treat everyone with kindness, respect & courtesy, then they should understand that there is nothing Uglier than two-faced rude & ignorant shallowness & that there's NO EXCUSE for it!
Joined: 6/13/2008
Msg: 134
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/3/2008 12:36:07 PM
you're an ***hole, just wanted to let you know
Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 135
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/4/2008 1:38:55 PM
when my bf dumped me, i lost 5 inches, and 10 lbs. i have NEVER looked so slim/good overall in my ENTIRE life! now we're back together, and i'm bulking up again. i kept teasing him that he should dump me again so i can go back to that old!
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 136
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Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/4/2008 2:38:54 PM
Ya know to some people smoking is a huge others weight and height. We all have out internal ideas of what pleases us right wrong or indifferent, its just that simple. The old saying goes you can't Love that which you can't touch. Its simple and logical and as well..."beauty is in the eye of the beholder"...very true statements.

I have no doubt Op that you Loved your ex...I think her weight was a mute issue as far as your doing goes. She ate...she gained...this is about her actions not yours even if you were a putz.At the end of the day you stated it didn't matter therefore I trust it didn't matter to you hence "mute issue". Her losing weight sounds more to be stress related with all the flux in her own life post divorce then actually health and well being.

Instead of re numerating on her waste size I would challenge you to think about what you truly miss and valued. I think this is the key to your hurt and confusion.
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 137
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/11/2008 5:11:28 AM
Maybe she felt like crap during the marriage and feels happy and relaxed out of it?

You didn't say why the marriage ended or who filed for the divorce?

When I met my ex husband I weighed 102lbs soaking wet with rocks in my pockets and wore a size 00.

The next 20 years, I was so very unhappy from his constant abuse, I gained over 100lbs! I took anti-depressants to cope with the abuse and they don't tell you those can pack on the pounds too.

I would try to diet and he would sabotage me by bringing sweets home and sticking it under my nose or suddenly wanting to take me out to dinner.

I left him and lost 155lbs of dead weight!

The first year after my divorce, I was off the anti-depressants and lost 60lbs without even trying.
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 138
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/11/2008 10:28:16 AM
i dont think she willl as happy as her first marriage though...even if things didnt go that good
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 139
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/11/2008 11:21:06 AM
Wow. 325 lbs is a lot of weight for someone to be carrying around, and depending on the body mass index is likely to be classified as morbidly obese.

I won't bash you for feeling a sense of remorse that she decided to drop the weight and looks good now that she has left your marriage. It's natural for you to feel a sense of remorse; that much weight is not only unattractive and unhealthy, but severely limits the activities you two were able to experience as a couple. For some strange reason society will condemn the person who destroys themselves with drinking, or drugs, or other self destructive actions, but those who overeat to the point of obesity are often given a pass where blame is placed on a significant other. Were she an alcoholic and you were encouraging her to quit drinking and go to AA meetings your encouragement would likely be applauded.

There is, however, a possibility that you could have done more to help her back to a healthy weight while you were still married. Physical fitness is a lifestyle change, and one that the two of you could have partaken together. Instead of suggesting that she go to the gym, you could have taken a more active role and went with her. That way it would not have been a battle she fought alone, but one that the two of you took on. Isn't that what marriage is all about? Having her see you there at the gym with her, hitting the iron and improving your physique would have been a huge motivator, and possibly brought you two closer together.

Missed opportunities are often some of life greatest lessons.
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 140
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Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/11/2008 10:04:06 PM
First of ALL.... he stated she was heavy when they MET and MARRIED.....
So, your holier than thou attitude has got to go....
All this post does--- is show you are a judgemental fool.... and i have no doubt its part of the reason you are single.
Joined: 1/4/2008
Msg: 141
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 7:55:59 AM
Yes, he did state that she was overweight when they met and married. Then he stated:
She gained a lot during our marriage. I think she was up to 325.

It may be a good idea to read thoroughly before you lash out.

As far as my post being "holier than thou" and "judgmental", it was in no way intended as such, and quite to the contrary in fact.

Many of the other posts take issue with the fact that he feels a sense of loss now that she has lost the weight. I think that is an unfair burden to place on him, and that his feelings are natural.

Others berate him for "encouraging" her to lose the weight. I feel that this is only partially unfair, that he could have gone to the gym with her as well, and that conquering the problem together may have strengthened their bond as a married couple.

Forums are for community discussion and transfer of ideas. You obviously jumped in at the tail end of a discussion and decided to berate me without reading any of the other posts and getting at least some context. This does not make me a "judgmental fool" but does say quite a bit about you.
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 142
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 5:51:39 PM
At 325 she didn't look good. At 225 she didn't look good. At 175 she's not looking good. How much weight did she actually lose?
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 143
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 5:58:07 PM
Why hate that she looks great?Wish her well and move it on down the road babe.
 chesher 38
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 144
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:02:35 PM
Sir, you may have forgotten The GOLDEN RULE, ( WOMEN ARE ALWAYS RIGHT ) Most especially when they are Wrong...

Your consolation Prize is your knowing that she will Fatten Up For The Next Guy too.
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 145
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:33:44 PM
Well I can only speak from my own experience with weight. I just lost 65lbs but I did it because I wanted to not because I was told to and believe me when my mom kept hounding on me to lose weight it just made me mad and made me eat more. So when i began my weight loss journey I did it for me, not for a man,.
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 146
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:35:25 PM
It's a cop out to lay the blame on someone else for your happiness.

If you're unhappy in your marriage there are other ways of dealing with it than getting huge

Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 147
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:44:43 PM
My ex looks real good and it ticks me off ... j'rk off ... ... jk ... I am happy he looks good ...

Im not saying you did this but I was with a man for 16yrs and I got heavy cause he wouldnt let me do anything ... Now I have lost weight and I only have about 50 lbs to go ... ... He actualy his upset that I lost weight , but he wouldnt let me do anything ...

Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 148
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:40:25 PM
Most of the women I have worked with over the past years while heavy and married quickly dropped the weight when they became single and were "shopping " for a new partner..

Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 149
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:14:40 AM
I have seen a lot of men be big guys while married and dropped the weight afterwards when shopping for a new partner too ...

Oh well ... lol! ...

Joined: 11/30/2008
Msg: 150
Oh now, she looses the weight
Posted: 2/20/2009 1:00:33 AM
It's called the (Divorce) diet!
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