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 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 184
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???Page 4 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
It shouldn't be so hard to find someone who accepts us for who we are as we accept them for who they are. It shouldn't be, but it is.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 187
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 11/11/2008 3:43:34 PM
"it seems that men still want to control the situation"

This isn't a gender issue. The person in control is the person who doesn't let others control them.

Permission is required to take any form of control. Just don't give it. If it means no date, so be it. That is a date you didn't need.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 189
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:55:54 PM
I hear you zippy. Hope you find alone together.
 baggypants
Joined: 11/2/2008
Msg: 192
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 11/13/2008 5:43:14 PM
It really is quite simple, you just haven't found the right one, yet. As far as avoiding the players, well insteasd of investing so much time and putting up with the selfish whinning when you are ready to break up, just walk away. Don't hang around, they only want you cause it's better than being alone and as soon as mr right shows up she'll be out of there anyway. If they were ready they would have said yes, not , please don't leave I just changed my mind. Thats crap, they didn't change their mind on marriage, they changed their mind on you. Men have done it for years to us women so now some have learned the technique. Coming from either side its not cool, not honest, and down right hard on the heart, but if a person is that way you are better off without them to begin with. Good luck.
 lizadoolittle
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 193
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 11/15/2008 11:11:46 AM
How long were you with these ladies before you mentioned marriage notwow?

What do you have to offer them to make it worth their while marrying you.?

We older ladies don't see life through rose coloured specs, most have been there, done that and have a wardrobe full of t-shirts.

I have looked at your profile (what there is of it, not even a pic) how can anyone tell what you want or don't want if you don't put it down.

I don't get that many chaps contacting me, because most are looking for something different than i am, but by reading my profile they can at least see if we have anything in common.

may i suggest you go back and update your profile and see how you go from there. Also be aware that not many ladies will contact a chap who can't be bothered to put a pic on here, it looks like you have something to hide.
 constantlyamazd
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 196
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 11/15/2008 3:40:36 PM
you are right wonderman...many of us are just tired of being needed. being surrounded by needy people can be draining.

i for one, however, hate being single. would love to find that special one to share in the joy and not so joyous times of life. someone to do things with, laugh with, make love with.
i have found tho, especially on this sight, that most men my age are not looking for long term committed relationships. most are looking for 'activity partner', 'friends', 'hangout',
'dating'...etc. when i look at their profiles they have dozens of 'favorites'. they are not seriously looking for anything but a hookup. i am very disillusioned and very disappointed in men my age. most are looking for younger women and eye candy!...lol then they complain that women are golddiggers.
i am an independant woman who has spent most of the last 20 years alone. tho i am alone,
i am rarely lonely. i have a very full and busy life. just miss the companionship and intimacy of a loving, devoted relationship.
 Ahoytheredave
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 198
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 11/17/2008 9:51:15 AM
In my younger days, I was disappointed that the "career option" seemed to be the minority choice for women. Many seemed to want the MRS degree over a real career. I never was needing a replacement mother. I wanted a partner in life. Things seemed fine as I nurtured ambition and support for more useful education as well as coaching for landing the good jobs. Then my career hit a speed bump with 9/11 and she was gone in a flash. It seems the "career option" celebrated in this tread also means a "commitment" option.
Its interesting to contrast this thread with the thread about missing the touch of another person. Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.
 outlawtomboy
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 203
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 11/28/2008 9:35:10 AM
i'm not quite 50 but here i go any way

in the case of the 3 women, you just weren't The One for them. that automatically makes them not The One for you as well. who knows, you might have become The One for one of them later, but probably not. there are many other fish in the pond and most likely The One is swimming among them

i do enjoy my lifestyle and independence. i've got great friends, no debt, and i can take care of myself fairly well. i suppose i could go on like this forever. i'm not against marriage nor do i plan on it. if someone came along and we fit in or around each other's lifestyles, that would be simply magnificent. until then i'm perfectly ok and intend to remain perfectly ok!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 205
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 11/29/2008 4:32:04 PM
...Hmmm, off to Vegas next week, been to Hawaii, Mexico several times, Bahamas, two cruises, spent an incredible week in Alabama with friends last year and planning on visiting New Orleans in the new year..... Let's see, I have a great home, good job, drive a nice car and just purchased yet another winter coat. I have the whole bed to myself, I cook if I feel like it, I watch what I want... go out for drinks with my friends on a moments notice...bout the only thing I'm missing is the.....oh wait, that's in my nightstand

....and don't be burning me at the stake here....I'm just having some fun.

...maeflowers
 Pink Rose Lady
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 206
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 11/29/2008 5:19:25 PM
Ah, yes being single has its own rewards, and by the time we girls hit 50? There are so many choices to make, why get tied down to just one person for the rest of our days? It's like buying one pair of shoes and having to wear them forever, even after they're long worn out. That's just not right!

Pink
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 210
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/6/2008 9:30:15 PM
OP - there seems to be 2 philosophies floating around the pond when it comes to the sexes (or so it seems).

#1 - why have the cow when I can have the milk? That's been the sentiments of some of the fellas out there.

#2 - why have the pig when I can have the sausage? That's been the sentiments of some of the women out there.

It's better to remain single than to enter into a marriage with a half assed attitude, and worse, a half assed heart.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 211
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/6/2008 9:39:31 PM

I disagree...It is not a fact for me. There is more to making love, to intimacy, to sex than having an orgasm. Obviously, I don't want to and won't put myself though emotional hell or be treated poorly just to have a lover; however, I will not agree to the myth that sexual pleasure without a flesh and blood man is just as satisfying and fulfilling as being with a man I care for.


...Oh yes Ismene, your so right....there is nothing like feeling a man's skin against your's, listening to the sound of his heart beating, the warm breathe, soft lips.....now I'm getting carried away...

...maeflowers
 djj04
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 212
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/7/2008 6:36:31 AM
What you say is so true. You feel like you are in constant competition. As I get older I am more comfortable with myself and don't feel as if my life is over without a man in it.
After 2 marriages with needy men I wanted to find someone I didn't have to take care of, thought I found one but he was emotionally dettached so that ones over.
I have seen all my Aunt's being alone, along with my mother and they always seemed miserable so I thought I didn't want to be like them that I needed to find a husband, but of course I was wrong.
I have a job that is demanding ( but I love it) so when I get home I don't want to be on another schedule.
I understand totally where you are coming from, I don't want to get married again but would like a relationship.
Why is it we discover these thing much later in life? Maybe because if we did , we would never get married.
Another thing why is it younger married men think you will just jump into bed with them cause they asked? Maybe that's a whole other topic.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 215
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/11/2008 7:58:31 PM
"I am not willing to give the rest of my life to someone that wants me to live there life the way they have planned it. "

I have seen this over and over. It never occured to these particular men that women just might not want to give up their lives and live the mans life.

I don't know if women do the same thing, but anyone male of female who thinks that they are going to find that type of person needs to think about just why someone would want to do that. A robot might be a better match.
 outlawtomboy
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 216
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/13/2008 5:56:46 AM

So, you golf and they don't. So what? So, you scuba, play tennis, hike or climb mountains and they don't. Why can't a woman, at the end of the day, be waiting at the bottom of the mountain or on the boat while you re-surface?

phoebe, what a funny way of putting this. you've give me my early morning giggle!

snuggled up with my cappuccino while patiently waiting on the re-surface,
leslie

 cowtown54
Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 217
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/13/2008 10:51:12 AM
My Mother says, "They make better boyfriends than they do husbands!" What does she know...lol
 tallyover
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 219
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/14/2008 4:06:40 AM
I don't necessarily want to be single but I don't want to live someone else's life either.

Bon Jovi sings it...

It's my life
And it's now or never
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive
'Cause it's my life!

 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 220
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/15/2008 7:32:38 PM
Men that email you photos of their penises,or send you filthy emails make you want to NEVER go out on a date ever again!
 ichi-bon
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 221
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/9/2009 11:10:04 AM
For me, having had both a terrible marriage that ended in divorce with two small children to raise on my own..........and then having the most awesome husband, lover friend, etc that I can imagine...... for twenty years before he died..........
..changed my whole prospective on all of it. I would never be happy with someone that wanted me only as a " live in" a long term sexual or traveling partner, etc. For me, it will have to be all or nothing......because I know the big difference.
I think you are either completely committed or there is much lacking in your relationship...........just my take.........and even though I am not as " marketable" as I once was.......age 29 vesus 52...........I still believe there is someone out there for me. I believe God blessed me once, He can do it again. I date very little......but mainly because I don't even want to date someone whose morals and basic values are so much different than mine. Why get hurt over something you really don't want it the first place ?
I DO want to get married again. I think one of the sweetest things I EVER see is the little old man holding the little old ladies hand and thinking how many storms they must have weathered together...........and the love is still there!!
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 222
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/9/2009 7:47:31 PM
Well, let's see here! I became chief cook and bottle washer around our house when my little brother started 1st grade and my mother went back to school to get her degree! I married at age 19, had my first son at age 20, was divorced by age 22! Took me 12 years before I found Mr. Right again, only I proved a 2nd time that I was really bad at picking husbands - but by this time had son #2!

Now at the age of 54, I have raised both boys, have a good job, live in a part of town that I like with friends I enjoy, and am frankly pretty happy with myself!

Do I miss having someone to cuddle with in front of the fire? Darn tootin!
Do I miss having my bells run on an occasional basis? You betcha!
Would I enjoy having a special person in my life to share life, love, and happiness? No question about it!

I would have to meet someone, and date them for a long time, before I would be up for rearranging my entire life around them. I have never understood why people are in such a rush to get married - take your time - really find out whether or not that other person is someone who really fits into your life!
 strawberi50
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 224
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/10/2009 2:53:22 PM
Well I guess I just need to get booted off of this question....I would love to find the "right " man for me. That being said, I do enjoy having the one and same man around me and I feel at this age where both want a little independence, it's workable. Men don't like a woman always in their business and vice versa...It's called respect. I feel that if you respect (not control) each other's moments of "space", your "togetherness" can be quite unique and sometimes breathtaking. It's just a matter of what a woman wants for her life and a man investigating long enough to see if this woman is what he wants for his life.
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 225
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/10/2009 3:04:42 PM
Stawberi50, I don't think you need booting off! I think you hit it on the head!

No one wants to feel like they are in a relationship because they "have" to be there! You want to be in a relationship with someone that is there because they feel you make their world a better place!

I think most of the posters seem to agree - we all would love to find that special someone to share our space - but not all of us are willing to march off to the justice of the peace after a three month romance! Sweep me off my feet, just not off to the wedding chapel!
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 226
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/10/2009 4:28:19 PM

Men that email you photos of their penises,or send you filthy emails make you want to NEVER go out on a date ever again!


Well, for *me* the secret is to not go out with *those* men. . . . There *are* others. . . .


 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 227
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/10/2009 4:40:12 PM
No secret, wooby....I DON'T go out with them....just make me a bit sour.....
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 229
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/10/2009 6:20:18 PM
And really - do they think we need pictures to remember what to do with them?

And if we did, I would choose better!
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